Why do we like this so much???

[cdsara]

After coming out to my wife she turned to me the other day and asked why I liked dressing up. I couldn't really answer her. I guess I am not really sure other than looking preety and the dream of being sought after. What do the rest of you think?

[KrystalA]

I love it simply because it feels so good and so natural. Do I really need any more reasons?

[AllieSF]

I do not dwell on this question because it is probably much deeper than I am. However, I sometimes look at it this way, which is very much in tune with today's Halloween excitement, though it has nothing to do with it. Since I dress to go out and hardly ever dress at home just to be dressed, to me it is like I am going to a masquerade party every time I go out. I keep the same theme, dress like a woman, and vary the style to fit the occasion or venue. I always remember way back when, way before I ever new what crossdressing was (I am a slow learner you know), that once in costume, whatever it was, I felt different and more liberated and could play that role in that moment. I always enjoyed the few costume parties that I went to especially for being able to experience that liberating moment of being someone who was not me in everyday life. So, today when I dress and go out I love playing that role. Now, it is being me dressed as a woman and enjoying every minute of it.

[sinead]

Been dressing for some 50 years and still don't know the answer except that it feels right for me.

[ReineD]

You mean, why do you dress, or is it why do you experience heightened feelings when you dress (an elation of some sort perhaps)?

No one knows why CDers feel a need to dress. Some people believe it is a hormonal thing that happens in utero. Others think it is due to certain childhood events. Still others believe it has its roots in sexual fetish, but then settles down to a feeling of comfort over the years. And, there will be arguments over whether a CDer is getting in touch with innate femininity or not when he dresses ... there are quite a few CDs here who are adamant they are men and they don't get in touch with any femininity at all, and they dress only because they like the clothes.

That said, no matter the reason you feel driven to dress, the question remains as to why you (or others) seem to enjoy doing this so much. Why it is so important to you, say more than enjoying a game of golf. I personally believe that the joy you feel is a sense of freedom over no longer repressing what you've hidden from others all your life. You're letting your guard down so to speak, and it is freeing you. I'm guessing that if you orchestrate your life to express yourself on a regular basis and get into a routine of doing things outside the home while dressed, it will all fall into place where it will seem quite normal to you after a while.

[audreyinalbany]

I was just thinking about this this afternoon. I spent years wrestling with the 'why' of crossdressing. Lately, I've pretty much given up the quest and decided there is no 'reason.' I crossdress because I ENJOY it. So then the question becomes, why do I enjoy it? No clue.

[NicoleScott]

Still others believe it has its roots in sexual fetish, but then settles down to a feeling of comfort over the years.

Not to hijack the thread, but this answers little as to why. Where did the fetish come from? I've read lots of discussion - and theories - as to why we crossdress, but none about why some are sexually excited by inanimate objects - some to the point of being unable to be aroused unless that object is present.

I've read posts that propose that if dressing is for purely sexual reasons (fetish), it's not crossdresing. Of course, the word "purely" is severly limiting. I suspect that few forum members dress for purely sexual reasons. Fashion, makeup, shopping, going out, etc. wouldn't be of interest to a purely sexual wearer of feminine things (and some don't even have to be worn - just touching or gazing will do). Many of us have a dressing drive with a fetish aspect to it, but enjoy the complete transformation which includes things that don't by themselves excite but are necessary to achieve the desired look. Like other aspects of crossdressing, there are degrees that fetishes have influence on the drive to dress en femme.

I'm not disagreeing with you, Reine, but just adding that fetish-based dressing is not an all-or-nothing deal. Having a fetish for feminine things and crossdressing are not mutually exclusive.

My point is that for fetish dressing, the "why" is still there.

[Kate Simmons]

Because we do Hon, simple as that also because it's fun and part of who we are.

[Katelyn B]

That could be an unanswerable question, unique to each person,

The simple answer for me is for the feeling I get when I'm just sitting in a chair and look down at myself. When I see myself looking like a girl it makes me happy. That, for a change, my outward appearance matches the way I think about myself, that by padding and "stuffing" I can have the shape I feel I should have.

[ReineD]

My point is that for fetish dressing, the "why" is still there.

My feelings too. If anyone ever figures out why fetishes take root, what attracts certain people to certain fetishes, why they are milder in some people and why they become paraphilias in others, I'd love to read about it. I don't think it's an all-or-nothing deal either.

[KellyJameson]

It is interesting to ask the question why but also frustrating at the same time because one question leads to another and another... and there is not one reason but many all knotted together like a fur ball the cat coughs up. I prefer to feel pretty over handsome, why? as a child I avoided boys and played with girls, why? and there are a million more questions

Is it because as a child I absorbed the hate my mother had for men and feel the need to reject my masculinity to escape self hate, possibly and thats ok.

Is it because I had no male influences as a child of a single parent but only females for role models, possibly and thats ok

Is it because I was born with a quiet, shy,timid,sensitive nature , possibly and thats ok

I take pleasure in asking questions but I also accept I will never know for sure the reasons and thats O.K

Being pretty and sought after feels alot like love and maybe it is. Adoration is addictive, all you have to do is watch the desperation of a movie star losing their audience to see proof but there is also a love of self that is not dependant on anything external that comes from complete acceptance of your entire self both good and bad.

Sometimes you have to trust yourself enough to step out of the safety of what the majority does and become a minority even if you risk people pointing their fingers at you and calling you different (weird or what ever word you want to use, there are many) Some use the word addiction to describe their dressing but life is an addiction and the key is to be addicted to that which promotes and protects your life while respecting the lives of others. Maintain your dignity by not allowing others to abuse you or by you abusing others otherwise give full expression to the amazing human being that you are in all its possible expressions because there will never be another exactly like you and if you do it in a skirt who cares at least you will end up being a better human being than most.

[Jilmac]

I enjoy it because I love to emulate the people I admire the most,,, Females.

[Donna1391]

It feels so good I just do it

[charlytuna]

My wife ask me that often I never can give her a good answer ecept to say I enjoy doing it. Then she ask if I feel sexey? I ask her what sexey feel like she give me a runaroud answer like she can't discribe it. That what I feel can't discribe how I realy feel when I'm dressed

[sara.s]

I do not dwell on this question because it is probably much deeper than I am. However, I sometimes look at it this way, which is very much in tune with today's Halloween excitement, though it nothing to do with it. Since I dress to go out and hardly ever dress at home just to be dressed, to me it is like I am going to a masquerade party every time I go out. I keep the same theme, dress like a woman, and vary the style to fit the occasion or venue. I always remember way back when, way before I ever new what crossdressing was (I am a slow learner you know), that once in costume, whatever it was, I felt different and more liberated and could play that role in that moment. I always enjoyed the few costume parties that I went to especially for being able to experience that liberating moment of being someone who was not me in everyday life. So, today when I dress and go out I love playing that role. Now, it is being me dressed as a woman and enjoying every minute of it.

Kinda ditto for me................

[Jennifer529]

Well it feels great,and makes me feel so relaxed and normal.

[LeaP]

I don't exactly enjoy it. In fact, I usually feel a little self-conscious. Still, I feel more like *me* somehow. That's enjoyable in a different way, but not always in the physical sense. "Content" would be a better word. Or in-tune. Something like that ...

Lea

[Karren H]

Who said I liked it? I'm driven to crossdress.... I have to.... I like playing ice hockey. I'm not driven to skate... Ok. Bad example. I love playing ice hockey! And would rather do that then dress any night!

[joanna marie]

I was just thinking about this this afternoon. I spent years wrestling with the 'why' of crossdressing. Lately, I've pretty much given up the quest and decided there is no 'reason.' I crossdress because I ENJOY it. So then the question becomes, why do I enjoy it? No clue.

Well said!

I think a better question is to ask your wife or SO ;
Why do they dissapprove of an activity that is legal, harms no one and brings great pleasure to someone they care about?

[Piora]

As someone who has very recently changed my whole reasons for Dressing....from what would be categorized as "fetish" dressing - for the sole purpose of sexual release - to Dressing simply for the experience of sheer joy that it gives me, and for that reason alone. No more sexual turn-on, no more 'lingerie-only' interests, just doing it because it makes me feel happy - feminine and girly. Now I get a sensation of "Ah, yes.....this is where I long to be!"

However, I still cannot explain what happened to make this change. For the first time in 34 years of Crossdressing, I put on items I had never considered having - even a month ago: Skirt, shoes, blouse, wig. Of course, I still wore the items that I always had underneath - but now I felt transformed. And I spent the whole afternoon dressed. Just walking around the place, being at the computer, getting something to eat..... and of course, periodically checking myself in the mirror. It felt good. It felt right. And now I find that I want to spend as much time as I can there.

[Eryn]

Like everyone else, I can't give a definitive answer to this question. I now realize that it is something I wanted to do for a very long time without even being able to admit it to myself.

My feelings are more of the relief of not having to chafe mentally in drab as the women around me enjoy expressing themselves in ways that I cannot. It's a calm that comes with knowing that I can be immersed in being Eryn and that for a short time at least I'm freed from the responsibilities inherent in being male.

[RitaRich]

One thing I wonder about myself is: Do I CD in order to be intimate with femininity without the risk of being hurt by a female?
I love the feel of femininity, in myself and others! On the the other hand, I have mixed feelings when it comes to females. Maybe that is why I like this group so much. It has all the fem I love, without...

[ArleneRaquel]

It feels so natural and I love everything about dressing as a woman

[erickka]

45 years of dressing for me, and I still can't think of another reason other than It Just Feels Right.

[Raychel]

I love the feel of womens clothes, It relaxes me. And when I do get a chance to dress up, I don't know, it is just me time. It just feels right.

And as the saying goes "If it feels good, Do it"