she went into my bathroom for some reason, and she found my silicone breast forms sitting out drying. and she started asking questions. the most asked was "are you gay?" and "are you sure you're not gay?"
i tried to explain to her that it just feels right, but she doesn't get it. so...idk what to do now...i'm just crushed.
I never understood people with closeted behavior doing something so self-damning. You left breast forms out in broad view of someone else who could see them (whether it was 'your' bathroom or not) and you're wondering why she feels that way? By having her discover the problem instead of broaching it yourself in a way that you can sculpt the discussion, you put yourself at a disadvantage. You shocked her unnecessarily.
"It just feels right" isn't something that people are going to 'get' because you are being nebulous. So yes, she's going to resort to stereotypical questions that most of us have been asked because that's how people get a grip on it.
If it was me, your next option is to talk to her in a non-confrontational situation, but you need to be able to explain yourself better first. Have a sit down and let her ask the stupid questions.
—Mikaela
I suggest you read the link in my signature on how to tell your partner
I know its your MOM but the information will help you work out how to take the conversation forward
Well.. Now that your out... Ask her to take you shopping!! Tonight!!
Since your mom knows, you have been forced to put a leg out of the closet. This may turn out to be the best thing that has ever happened to you. However, it could also be the worst. You really do need to talk to you mom about this. If you don't I'm sure her imagination will run wild and her views of you may not be correct. My suggestion is to read about telling people because sometimes what you think is a good way, is not at all. Try reading Shelly's link first and go from there.
I wish the the best of luck with this. From experience, I know that talking about this is not easy, especially wish someone so close to you.
Xristy.
Yup, the glass is truly half full.Originally Posted by Karren Hutton
I agree with the comment that "it just feels right" isn't an adequate answer- for your mom, nor for you. While you probably didn't plan to have the conversation, its time to start talking with your mom. But ask her to give you a little time to collect your thoughts. Part of the value of reading up on "how to tell your partner" is that it may help YOU clarify your own understanding of why you are the way you are.
Sounds like the door is open for further discussion. The next time you see your mother be prepared for more questions stemming from her own confusion. YOU know who YOU are, so it's best to explain yourself. Give her time to digest the entire situation. Time works wonders.
i just want her to not be so weird about it. i'm reading that link right now, and thank you all for the advice.
that post actually was GREAT. gave me insight, and i hope that it can help her too. i'm gonna print it out, and let her read it!
Hey, it is not the end of the world.
~It is just the end of YOUR world~
…jus’ kidd’n…
Leaving your breast forms out in plain view when you share a house with others invites discovery at some point.
Secrets, lies and cognitive dissonance (conflicting thoughts) can make life miserable. That pesky moral compass that makes everyone but psychopaths want to unconsciously “be honest”, lol. Those little kinesic cues, micro expressions and Freudian “slips” that expose even the best of liars. (“saying one thing when you really mean your mother”,
Before we know it we are unconsciously sabotaging ourselves to get “caught.” We finally get that “monster” that is eating us alive, out of our minds and into the open where we can deal with it and hopefully find some inner peace again.
Looking at the positive side…
-You have now revealed a part of you that for whatever reasons, was concealed.
-The “discovery” phase is behind you, which is the most uncomfortable part.
-People have two options in reacting to these scenarios. They can beat you up with insults and anger OR start asking questions. Opting to ask questions (regardless of the content) is always a positive sign. It keeps the door open to discussion.
Good luck,
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
eluuzion, thank you! i was just excited about the new forms, they're silicone and not just water.
Based on my personal experience, and some other folks I know, telling your mom it is somewhat similar to telling an SO. As others have said, look for some quality, factual information about transvestism you can give her (books like My Husband Wears My Clothes, Coping With Crossdressing, and others.) Even though they are geared for wives, they are clean, factual and "safe" for a GG who is just being introduced to TVism.
Hey hunny, this has probably caused shock for both you and your mum, hence the hurried first answer you gave her, take a deep breath, ask to have a private chat to her and be honest....she's your mum and will love you whatever.....
OK - first the good news:
She asked questions, even if some were the wrong ones.
She didn't go straight into mom freakout mode.
She still hasn't gone into mom freakout mode.
Your "out" so take a deep breathe and enjoy that weight off your shoulders.
The bad news: well there isn't any.
My advice to you regarding your mom is get your head straight, and figure out what you want to say.
Then you say to her:
Mom, I know we have somethings to talk about and we can do it when you are ready to. And Thank You!
She may want to talk right then and there or in a few days or even a week.
Give her time to wrap her head around all of it.
Once you do talk - tell her at the end that she is welcome to come back anytime she might have more questions. Because she just might after letting the second conversation sink in.
"Sammy, really next time do try to make your point without being quite so abrasive." -RD
When I told my wife that I´m a CD, then she asked also if I´m gay. Then I talked and explained my fetish. Now she completely understands me and supports me. I think you have to sit down and talk with your mother.
Mothers always seem to have a way of understanding. If you talk to her frankly and in a non-confrontational manner, she will more than likely "get it" Regardless of how it goes she is your mom and will still love you unconditionally.
Hrm...reminds me of the way my mom found out I have breast forms. Our cats had found a way into my closet and sunk their claws into one. That pissed me off something fierce and got my mom's attention. In the heat of anger, I let it slip what they had done. XD
She's found a few "other" things related my forms that she hasn't SAID she found but I know she found them. How'd she find them? Getting my dirty laundry out of my closet because I had put it off for two weeks. I have enough clothes to go a week without doing laundry while still having fresh clothes. XD
You're not the only one who's "outted" themselves on accident. ^.^ The others have covered all the bases with advice so I thought I'd share a bit of my embarrassment in the hopes it'd bring a smile to your face. =)
If I don't make changes happen for a better tomorrow, then who will?
that did bring a smile to my face. i can't wait to have my mom read about it. i feel so good with my silicone forms in
Posting Permissions
