Reaction, Punishment, and (ultimately) Suppression

[LeaP]

I thought I'd toss out a few of the things that produced negative reactions or even punishment when I was growing up - those that resulted in inculcating and enforcing the male role and ultimately in suppression of TG identity and expression. Just a sample, and I'd be interested in what you would add. Reactions could come from anyone, not just family. I can think of specific, swift corrections in many cases.

Emotion generally
Facial expression
Crying
Laughing
Singing
Dancing
Walk
Hip motion
Use/positioning of Hands
Moving fingers while walking
Clothing color
Clothing selection
Personal space
Touching, same sex friends
Touching, opposite sex friends
Friendships with opposite sex
Avocations and hobbies generally
Involvement with music
Interest in art
Toy choices
Book choices
Movie choices
Playing dress-Up
Playing tea
Playing with dolls
Watching girls/women's TV
Rejecting interest in football & baseball
Bedroom decorating choices/desires
Spending time with neighborhood moms

Lea

[KellyJameson]

Excellant List Lea and I'm having difficulting coming up with other ideas for unacceptable behavior. I was bullied relentlessly as a child by my peers because I did not know how to surpress all those behaviors you listed . The adults may not bully you but they know how to leave you feeling worthless by the looks of disgust and all the other rejecting behavior they so cunningly use. Thank God I enjoyed my own company otherwise the loneliness would have been brutal.

[Sarah Doepner]

Language choices, such as using the word "cute".
Being interested in "Mom's chores" or being uninterested or put off by "Dad's chores or recreational choices"

[sanderlay]

Talking in a high pitched way... sometimes considered baby talk. I use it to befriend a pet showing sensitivity, empathy and gentleness.

[LeaP]

How quickly we forget!

Yes, I also got grief for pink - I remember in particular a hot pink cycling cap.
Skipping - definitely. Got hammered for that one in grade school.
Long hair - yup, nailed for that one all through high school by family.
Language - ditto. A phrase like "That's so CUTE!" in a higher pitch will completely stop conversation in a group of boys.

And I echo the comments on looks vs. bullying. Disapproval, even subtle, is very powerful when repeated and reinforced over years.

Sarah, the chores brought back memories of ironing with my mother. I used to LOVE that, and always went with her to the "ironing lady's" place, too. I loved all the baskets of clean laundry. Hopefully that doesn't sound too odd. I lost that somewhere ... my wife would probably like to have it back again! And seriously, I might try rekinding the feeling. Thanks for the memories (shades of Bob Hope)!

Lea

[LeaP]

Hopefully that doesn't sound too odd.
Lea

Darn it - and there's the fear, right there.

Lea