Going to meet an admirer Monday.

[Piora]

I'm in agreement with those who are pushing the "meet first in a public place" position. Why not simply play it safe? I sometimes use an online dating service and never meet any of the women anywhere else. If they suggested meeting in a private or secluded spot, I would insist that for their own peace of mind that we choose a restaurant or a coffee house for the first meeting. I'd also suggest that they follow that advice for any others that they would meet.

I have a tendency to believe that CDs sometimes can be more at risk from meeting in this fashion, than GGs, simply because of the hatred for us that exists in the world. Gay men can also tend to fall into this danger zone. Let's not become targets.

The bottom line is: Why risk it? Play it safe.....and take it slow. Read the other person's body language, and THINK like a woman! When we take on women's clothes, and try to emulate them in every way we can.....using our brains the way they would in such situations, sometimes escapes us because we're men.

I wish the OP the best, and sincerely hope it goes as she envisioned.

[Aprilrain]

Definitely stay safe... As a woman, I could never imagine doing what you are planning to do.

dating? don't you have a BF? how and where did YOU meet HIM. Did daddy accompany you to the police station???

your post is very condescending.

Louise needs to be VERY VERY careful.

DUH! who doesn't this is not the point of this thread!

[Alice Torn]

Many times, over the past several years, i have backed out of meeting a lustful admirer. With this guy, i was first going to let him meet me at my place!!!!!!!! What was i thinking????/ PPPink fog again! I finally got him to agree to meet somewhere else. I His email address, tells where he is employed, a place well known around here. If there is a crime against me, I know right where to send the cops. So, this time, I am taking a chance on love...uh.. i mean lust.

[ReineD]

Louise, you know how this forum goes sometimes. Threads will begin, and then there will be a debate on underlying principles.

Don't forget to let us know how it went!

[Kathi Lake]

I didn't see Shan's post as condescending at all. In fact, to me it came off as caring. She said that as a woman (and she was including Louise in this) she should be careful. That's all. No fireworks needed.

Are there prudish people here? Yup! Here's one right here! Did I tell Louise that she shouldn't do it? Nope. She's an adult, but, as she mentioned, she knows how the pink fog and her desires can cloud her judgement. She made the right choice to meet him in public, and not at her home. Score one for the brain over the gonads (whether internal or external).

Louise is a big girl, and I assume that she is not in a relationship. Therefore the only person that can be hurt here is her. If she believes the risk is justified, then she should do what she feels is the right choice. It's not our place to tell her to or not to do something. As friends, our only responsibility is to do the same thing I did in my previous post - tell her to stay safe and to have fun.

Kathi

[Badtranny]

I didn't see Shan's post as condescending at all.

Maybe not out of context, but hers and some others struck me as being a bit "motherly". Perhaps I'm sensitive but I get the impression that so many here are terrified of normal adult sexuality. We all know already that we need to wear protection, but life is short and sex is fun. For that matter, prescription drugs and alcohol are fun too, so string me up ;-)

Kathi, you may or may not be a prude but you're adorable nonetheless, as well as courageous, but I've never noticed that you were particularly condescending. Shan on the other hand, has that tendency so my antenna was up.

[Nicole Erin]

has anyone considered the safety of the man that Louise is about to meet?
What if Louise is an ax murderer just looking for her next victim?

What? It could happen

[AllieSF]

Or Nicole, Louise is so needy that her admirer will get much more than even he bargained for. You go girl, Louise, we need followup and I do hope that he shows up.

[Kathi Lake]

Nicole, Nicole, Nicole, . . . reason number 3,212 why I love you.



Kathi



(I'm still laughing).

[Shananigans]

dating? don't you have a BF? how and where did YOU meet HIM. Did daddy accompany you to the police station???

Maybe reread it? Read the following posts? I didn't mean to come off as condescending, but the internet has is words on a screen. Tone will be taken as it will.

Also, I met my boyfriend at a party through mutual friends. When I took him home at the end of the night, my girlfriends were still looking out for me. We always do that for each other. When I went to the bathroom before going home, my girlfriend followed me in and said, "Okay, so you're going home with this guy...you haven't had too much to drink right?" I said no and joked about walking a line for her. The last thing she said was, "Alright, but be safe and I don't expect him to be going to breakfast with us in the morning!"

This is kind of what friends do...or, at least mine. If I was going out with someone that I had met online or some where pretty sketchy....sheesh...I'd probably be texting someone when I met the guy, probably be texting them an hour or so into the date, and then another text when I got home.

I like to know people care about me though...and, that's what I see it as. Condescending? Idk. I guess, if I took their tone a different way.

I didn't see Shan's post as condescending at all. In fact, to me it came off as caring. She said that as a woman (and she was including Louise in this) she should be careful. That's all. No fireworks needed.

Glad you picked up on that. Maybe people glance over feminine pronouns. Although, when they aren't used it's definitely noticed. But, you seem to gathered what I was getting at. Thanks.

Maybe not out of context, but hers and some others struck me as being a bit "motherly". Perhaps I'm sensitive but I get the impression that so many here are terrified of normal adult sexuality. We all know already that we need to wear protection, but life is short and sex is fun. For that matter, prescription drugs and alcohol are fun too, so string me up ;-)

Idk why anyone's sex life in here is at question. When I'm not getting bashed on this forum for being too kinky and my sex life being degrading towards a number of groups of people, I'm called a prude. Make up your minds, people!!! Haha! Are my boyfriend and I offensive, or are we prudes? The world may never know. But, leave it at a mystery...I think that can also be more sexy than laying it all out there for the world to see.

I'm glad we all know we need to wear protection and be safe. I just wonder why up to 80% of curable STDs are in developed countries. Probably because everyone knows to wear protection and be safe. I shouldn't cross off my health care prevention curriculum out of my class criteria. I'll tell my instructor that everyone knows everything already.

Also, I would recommend not taking anything out of context. Motherly though? Guilty as charged.

[Kaz]

Hi Louise, if you are still reading any of this... I hope it goes well and keep us posted! We all need good breaks in life.

I just thought it worth saying that if I were Louise I would be well hacked off that people had hijacked my thread to vent their personal vendettas. Text is not a good medium as it lacks a lot of context... this is why people use smileys and all of that stuff. I have fantastic respect for the majority of people on this site, who act in a helpful and supportive way as their primary guiding principle. I have personally benfitted from this. If we all believed in people's positive intention it would remove a lot of crap from our lives.

I didn't notice Louise objecting to any 'potentially' condescending views and if we go back and read all the posts, we can read them in several ways.

I usually assume the good intention in people. But sometimes, when I see social injustice based on potentially false or misconstrued perceptions I just have say something.

To me Shananigans was doing what supportive GGs do well here... giving her view from a place us guys won't necessarily think of. If I were Louise I would be taking it on board but in the knowledge that I am a 'big boy' and I am responsible for my own decisions and actions.

I apologise if this sounds anything other than well intentioned.

Louise... let us know how it goes!

[Alice Torn]

Thanks for all the responses! I do appreciate it! The guy i am too meet, has been emailing me, and he is hot to trot, to be physical. I told hi i don't know him, and it is best to "easy does it" first. He has a one track mind!

[Alice Torn]

Well, it is off!!! The guy is just too hot to trot, and pushy, and not interested in much of what i say. This has happened many times! They want sex, sex, sex! How can he expect me to be totally trusting a stranger, whose face, i have never seen? I advertised to give leg and dress shows, but, they say that is all they want, but, soon are pushing, and pushing! Sorry, but, not a happy meet up.

[Shananigans]

Well, it is off!!! The guy is just too hot to trot, and pushy, and not interested in much of what i say. This has happened many times! They want sex, sex, sex! How can he expect me to be totally trusting a stranger, whose face, i have never seen? I advertised to give leg and dress shows, but, they say that is all they want, but, soon are pushing, and pushing! Sorry, but, not a happy meet up.

I'm sorry, Louise. Men are just pigs... I've been there. If I didn't love men so much, I'd give up on them all together. I'm sure you'll find someone that is worth your time eventually.

I might be biased, but are you interested in women or other t-girls? Sometimes we're also a little less pushy...but, not always.

[Angie G]

You go girl.
Angie

[Alice Torn]

I had been seeking a right lady, since age 19, am 57 now. The past ten years or so, i have met scores of divorced ladies, who are totally turned off at ever dating agai, and many are turning to other women. When i am all dressed up pretty, i imagine giving a dance and legs show, and dancing with a gentleman. Never, do i feel this wy, in guy mode. But, i am finding almost every admirer wants you know what. I see the natural love between men and women vanishing from the western nations, making it a very bleak, depressing world today.

[Kaz]

Hi Louise, so sorry it didn't work out... it is a really odd world we live in isn't it? We just need to be optimistic but also realistic and with a good spattering of good old common sense I guess. Just remember the old tune... "one day my prince will come"... but now we are in the world of young girls' dreams, which turn into women's aspirations. We can learn so much from the GGs... and understand the issues guys have in the process. I don't ever want to be a 'regular guy' again (if I ever was!) - but I am not so sure I like guys... well not for intimate relationships... too dull and obvious. I may fantasise about having a guy (as a female), but Shananagins may be right... the answers may well be an accommodating girl and/or a CD?

We live... we learn... well, some of us!

[Alice Torn]

Thanks Kaz. It is a strange time we live in, and, i am strange, too. Truly, i would want a loving, attractive GG. They are in such demand, and us poor blokes don't seem to be needed by them anymore. But, anyone who is bettering his or her self, is a rare bird. I would not want to be a man's "woman". Just have fantasies when dressed. Like one said, the fantasy is better than the fulfillment. I think i will stick, to going to the symphony dressed, or a movie.

[Emme]

Don't do it! Period. If hemis crazy about your leggs..........watch out.....don't do it! Saty home!

[Badtranny]

I just thought it worth saying that if I were Louise I would be well hacked off that people had hijacked my thread to vent their personal vendettas

As a matter of fact, I apologized to Louise in a PM. I'm sure she appreciates your concern for her thread.

[MsJanessa]

well you've learned to trust your instincts--good for you---that's always the problem with meeting some one in private for a first date---obviously you both have an idea that there may be a sexual encounter but usually you want to get to know each other first, or at least see what the other person really looks like and not just some photo posted on the internet. The problem with meeting in private for the first time is that there is no delicate way to say no or rather no thanks if the other person is not to your taste---if you meet someone in a public venue, then there are more ways to get out of the situation tactfully---my advice would be that next time, arrange to meet the person in a coffee shop or maybe a gay bar---if he refuses to meet you there, then forget about him.

[Alice Torn]

Thank you Janessa. Very sage advice there. I let pink fog overrule common sense. Good thing i changed my mind about meeting him at my place!!!!! He may have been at my door every night! What was i thinking? Next time i meet anyone, guy or gal, it is in a public place.

[Presh GG]

I'd like to know what exactly is wrong with careing about each other , with our own [ maybe stupid , dangerous ] experiances ?

Being a GG forever does give us some insight into what men MIGHT be after.

Shan was just being a Friend IMO.

Meanwhile, it's up to Louise to take what advise she wants from her friends.

Presh GG

[Badtranny]

Being a GG forever does give us some insight into what men MIGHT be after.

This is a crazy statement. I'm starting a new thread to address it.

[JulieK1980]

I'm sorry it didn't work out! So many "admirers" are purely crappy people.

When I search for someone, I always insist upon meeting for coffee first with me dressed in drab. I find this really works well at weeding out the rejects. The ones that are purely after sex, and see you simply as an object won't be interested in wasting time chatting over coffee, and are repulsed at the thought of seeing you dressed as a guy. There are a few decent ones out there, (I know from personal experience) but you sure have a lot of rejects to get through before you find one of them.

I wish you luck!