For those of you who were sexually abused in adolescence; a possible explanation of why we dress up. Every one wants to be attractive; at some point, that becomes transferred from being attractive as a guy, to being attractive as a girl. And, because of when it all happens, it 'sticks' in our brains, and we spend the rest of our lives trying to be pretty. Opinions?
Lexi
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
I'll give u the, "Since I have never considered myself attractive as a man, I enjoy thinking I'm attractive as a woman", Lexi.
But, I think the "sexual abuse" connection may be a stretch!? But, let's see what others say?
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
I cannot speak to sexual abuse either through experience or expertise, but as to why I "do it," I was born to do it. I believe it is ingrained within my DNA and brain. Simply put, I believe I was born this way, and thankfully so . . . .
Never sexually abused. Started dressing at age 6. Realized I was only attracted to women at age 8. Hoped my breasts would develop and penis drop off and become a girl at age 12.
The only sexual abuse I "suffered", and I think got me started, was in my pre-school days when my older sister was dressing me up to play "house" at her little table and chairs with a china tea set.
The only sexual abuse I suffered as a child was at the age of 5. It was by a teenage girl. I have suffered a lot of nonsexual abuse by woman since childhood. I don't know if this has anything to do with CD. All I know for sure is that I love feeling feminine.
I am WOMAN and I've come too far to go back to pretend.
While that may be true for some I was never sexually abused I believe that I was simply born this way.
The only sexual abuse I suffered was not having sex until I was 20! I was an emotional teenage wreck up until then because of it I guess... but then again I think I started dressing pre-teen (the timeline is fuzzy now tho I do remember specific instances well before my teens that could have been an indication of being transgender, so I don't believe sex/lack thereof had anything to do with it at that age.
jenn
I do it, because it makes me feel pretty and good about myself. No underlying reasons, no secret deep dark hidden past of evilness. I just like how a dress and a pair of panties feel when I wear them, and I'm actually more of a pleasant person when I do it. And being a severely grumpy person by nature, that says alot. =3
The brain is the most complex organ in the human body and no two are exactly alike. Using the concept of Yin and Yang instead of feminine and masculine with...
The Yang energy is masculine in nature and is described as light, dry, directed, focused, logical, and action oriented. Yin energy is feminine and described as dark, moist, diffuse, vague, intuitive, and receptive. In regard to psychological functioning, men are predominately yang but contain a yin aspect. Women, while predominately yin, contain an element of yang. Thus human beings are psychologically androgynous with latent inner masculine and feminine energies awaiting development.
So a male born with Yin as the dominant energy will find the experience of being in a male body incongruous to say the least and as a survivor of child abuse I can state that the abuse exacerbates the problem making a difficult situation almost unbearable giving rise to the statement " Life is hell " but in my opinion it is impossible to create the desire to be a woman purely from environmental circumstances and in my case the abuse slowed what would have happened naturally if the abuse had been absent and that is why we will see far more children want to change their bodies to match their mental image as society becomes more tolerant and less violent against children, assuming that actually happens.
Trauma alone is not enough to make you want to reject your body and desire to become the opposite sex but it can be a catalyst that pushes you in the direction you were already predisposed to go. The Feelings/expression of self hate from child abuse looks/feels similar to the dislike/hate of ones body because the body is foreign to ones mind but when/if the scars of child abuse heal the desire to still have the body of a female remains.
Almost all children experience abuse of one kind or another, it is far more common than people admit to. If abuse alone was enough to make men want to be women there would not be any men left in the world. Usually abuse leads to War, Addiction, Prison, Violence in every form because most men are Yang based.
As a teen when people would tell me I'm handsome I would cringe in embarrassment but I liked it when they told me I had pretty eyes, hair, skin ect.. the key word being pretty because that was used for girls, my subconscious had a female image that was determined by the brain I was born with and my behavior and emotions betrayed this fact.
My conscious mind had to realize what my subconscious already knew. Child abuse creates doubt about the reasons we desire to be women because it feels like we are rejecting our masculine self for the wrong reasons but you were born with the reasons already intact and if you address the affects of the abuse this will become apparent to you.
The desire to be treated as a woman is a reflection of the feelings of being a woman and we want others to behave toward us as we already feel and behave toward ourselves. Being treated as a Lady versus a Guy. Treat the wrong guy like a lady and you are likely to get beat up.
Other than abuse, it may have something to do with our PERCEIVED notion that little girls get more attention generally speaking because the are "sweet" and "cute" but it may be that it's just who we are. One thing for sure, the feelings that drive it go very deep.
Second star to the right and straight on till morning
On the other hand, those of us that are naturally more sensitive because of the genetic and developmental/hormonal factors that cause CD/TG/TS before we're even born, some may fall prey to abusers who look for those softer attributes in their victims.
I was crossdressing at six, like almost all other CDs; it was years later my uncle exposed himself and propositioned me. That was as far as he got. I really can't say his (very minor but still illegal) behaviour caused my CDing, and there's stacks of evidence to support the theory that a compbination of genetics and womb environment us what causes it, which is why we can't "just give up" if others demand it of us.
It's not something we do, it's someone we are.
As others have said, I was born to do it. And, there was no sexual abuse at any time.
Hugs,
Teddie
I do it because I love it. I love the sensuality of feeling as much like a woman as I possibly can. Do I need any other reasons?
[SIZE="3"][/SIZE]Life is what happens while you're making other plans
Lexi, it looks like so far there is next to zero evidence supporting your theory.
I as well, do this because I love it. When I'm dressed everything just feels so right and complete.
No sexual abuse here as far as I can remember.
I have to believe it's in my blood or else way is it that iam walking behind a woman in pantyhose and a skirt and the only thing iam thinking is how bad i want to be wearing those pantyhose and that skirt.
I also think I was just born to it. I have never been abused sexually. I just feel comfotable dressed as a woman
I've been married so long I can't remember what sex is let alone being abused by it... Sexually unabused... Sigh....
I was never abused, and I didn't have any little girls around to take away the attention I got as the baby of the family for the first ten years of my life, and I started dressing at around six, so I'm going with I was born this way! I also had a great father figure in my life, and a mother that was all a kid could want, I just can't find one thing in my life externally that could of had an effect on me, that would have made me want to dress up in my sisters things, and I knew from the start it was wise to stay quit about it.
Tina B.
Magic is the art of changing consciousness at will.
Never been sexually abused by anyone - male or female. I have said this in other threads, and a couple of people have already said the same thing so far in this one....I do it because it's a part of me, and yes I believe it has been with me since birth.
I am so like my mother. In her personality, her traits, her thought process. She was a quiet, gentle woman, very much a lady. I think that my femininity is in my genetic makeup, passed on to me through her.
My desire to crossdress? Love it. Want it. Need it.
Why? Suddenly there it was and clearly there is a feminine part of me that I need to understand. The more I understand her, the more I like her!!! Oh, and no abuse at all.
tina
Nope. No sexual abuse here either. However, back when I was adolescent, I was a puny kid. I backed into crossdressing by trying on some hosiery for reasons OTHER than curiosity about what it would feel like to wear it, and found that I liked wearing it. I began to imagine what it would be like to be a girl instead. I'd look around at other guys who were bigger, more athletic, and frankly better looking, and I began to think that it would have been better to be a girl than have to contend with all of this. I guess the grass is always greener somewhere else, eh?
Any money found in the laundry is MINE!
"This is no social crisis....this is me having fun!"
www.flickr.com/photos/tgmarla/
just about the same here. i was 4'11' when i was a freshman in high school. some guys who were seniors stuffed me in a locker and the janitor had to let me out. i was about the only one who thought it was not funny. i was never the alpha male, the macho dude or anything like that. now that i think about it, anything i ever did that i thought was masculine or appeared to be could have been done by a masculine woman.Originally Posted by TGMarla;2648029
i've dabbled in crossdressing most of my life. i like the feel of women's clothes and since i am not really large, masculine looking it's not too hard for me to look like a woman.
it's a great way for me to explore my feminine side and live part-time as a woman. and like docrobsherry says, it's better to look like a lady than a dumpy old man.
man, i feel like a woman
Hi Lexi - yes I was raped when I was a child. I still can't see the man who did this deed. I also grew up in a mentally abusive family. I started playing with girl cloths around five. I don't think it is possible to abuse someone into Gender Dysphoria, but maybe I'm reading into what you are asking wrongly (not sure).
I was molested by a couple of older girls when I was about 8yo. I can't say that it caused me to crossdress since I was already doing it by that time. I also had femdom type erotic fantasies by this age so I must admit that I rather enjoyed the "abuse." But it probably ruined any chance that I would ever have a "normal" sex life. It turned out that these girls (sisters) were being sexually abused by their father and my father. I was never molested by any adults. I can't even imagine what they endured.
I read on another forum where someone had an "emasculation trauma" theory of transgender. I could probably be the poster child for that theory. The idea was that any trauma that was emasculating, it could be physical, emotional and/or sexual, could tip someone into a transgender condition. I was abused physically and emotionally (but not sexually) by my grandmother who was my primary caretaker while my father was locked up. She made no secret of the fact that it was because I was a boy that she treated me badly. She doted on my sisters. So it shouldn't be surprising that I would want to be a girl. But, I could have grown up to be a serial killer or a Buddhist monk and my childhood experiences could "explain" that too. So I think there has to be some kind of predisposition. If I had a more normal childhood, I might be a more normal crossdresser. I shudder to think.....
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