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Thread: It's not easy being a girl

  1. #1
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    It's not easy being a girl

    So here I am, driving home from the market. I am doing 55 in the right hand lane when all of a sudden an old beat up Chevy pickup comes blowing past me on the shoulder of the road, cuts me off and forces his way in ahead of me. I even had to slow down a little to prevent hitting him.

    I am driving my BMW and know I could have easily prevented his dangerous move my speeding up and forcing him to either hit his breaks or go off the road. In stead, Nicole took over, allowed space for him to get into my lane and let the whole incident pass without even a moment of anger, just an "oh well, it's a man, what do you expect."

    I began to realize that when I am out and driving as Nicole I take on an entirely different attitude. I make allowances for the jerks on the road instead of getting angry and frustrated. How about you girls why go out and drive en fem, do you drive the same no matter how you are dressed, or do you drive differently when out as your female self?

  2. #2
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    I was rear ended (in my car) late one night in a particularly bad section of town. It was a hit and run. As I recovered from the shock I saw the car drive off with 2 "dudes" in it. My initial reaction was to get in gear and run them down to get the license plate, but as I was in a cocktail dress and tall heels, I realized it was not a good idea. I find I have to temper myself when femme, not only to keep out of trouble, but to not look like a guy-in-a-dress.
    Warmly,
    Sheren Kelly

  3. #3
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    I know that I drive just a little bit more carefully when en femme... I don't relish the thought of dealing with a wrecker...or filing an accident report. But then, I guess it would be another life experience.

    As for my attitude behind the wheel, I have often been bothered by a juvenile level of road rage. I don't act nearly so foolishly when I'm driving en femme.

  4. #4
    Diamond Member Persephone's Avatar
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    Weirdly enough I do believe that my femme self does temper my driving as well as my life. Too complex for me to understand.

    But I'm wondering about the OP's selection of a message title - "It's not easy being a girl." Do we really think that way? Do MtF's think "It's not easy being a boy?"

    Hugs,
    Persephone.
    "If you are living the life you want to live you've successfully transitioned to being the person you want to be." - Eryn.

    "If you truly care about me you should damn well want for me what I want for myself" - Michael Westen (Burn Notice)

    -.-. --.-/-.-. --.-/-.-. -../ Persephone™ and Persephone™ are trademarks of Persephone herself, accept no substitutes. The terms "en femme" and "en drab" originated with Marcia Sampson/Staylace (OBM).

  5. #5
    Member out & About Robin Lee's Avatar
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    Hi Nicole,
    I do drive with more compassion as Robin, but then again now days I am Robin all the time.
    Best Wishes
    Robin Lee

  6. #6
    New Member AshleyLove88's Avatar
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    I have 2 cars. I tend to drive my truck femme and my car just plain me. But I will admit to, with my self coming back out as a CD, to being more femme in my driving all together.

  7. #7
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    Funny you ask this because I was just telling my wife the same thing. I behave differently but I suspect that I simply enjoy being dressed so I'm in a great mood already.

  8. #8
    Adventuress Kate Simmons's Avatar
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    Both Abby and Rich curse a lot at the jackasses on the road. Abby opens her mouth and says:"Do you suffer much?" but to the other driver, it's looks like she is saying something else. I can be devilish when I want to be.
    Second star to the right and straight on till morning

  9. #9
    CamilleLeon's SO Shananigans's Avatar
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    I don't know...I tend to have a smart mouth and a lot of attitude. When there was a bad wreck with traffic backed up for miles, a guy tried to cut in front of me by driving down the side of the road until an area where it was blocked off by a concrete. It was here that he decided to cut everyone off that had been waiting for miles and miles by cutting in front of me. Instead of letting him over, I blared my horn for a long 3 or so minutes. (I love my horn...I f*cking LOVE my horn). He continued trying to push in front of me because there was no where for him to go. The person in front of me must have been sweating bullets because I was so close to them. Neither me nor the a$$hole could go anywhere. So, with windows rolled down we started exchanging words. I then decided to blare on the horn again (LOVE IT!), making hand obscene hand gestures, and pointing to my ear that I couldn't hear him.

    The girl behind me didn't let him in either.

    I like to think that a line of angry females let him have it. Sorry, but I have no tolerance for a$$holes...I let them have it and I enjoy doing it.

    It may not be easy to be a girl, but it certainly is easy for me to be a b*tch.
    Last edited by Shananigans; 11-08-2011 at 07:59 PM.
    "Today a young man [...] realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration...that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively...there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Here's Tom with the Weather.”-Bill Hicks
    “What freedom men and women could have, were they not constantly tricked and trapped and enslaved and tortured by their sexuality! The only drawback in that freedom is that without it one would not be a human. One would be a monster.” East of Eden by Steinbeck

  10. #10
    Gold Member Marleena's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shananigans View Post
    I don't know...I tend to have a smart mouth and a lot of attitude. When there was a bad wreck with traffic backed up for miles, a guy tried to cut in front of me by driving down the side of the road until an area where it was blocked off by a concrete. It was here that he decided to cut everyone off that had been waiting for miles and miles by cutting in front of me. Instead of letting him over, I blared my horn for a long 3 or so minutes. (I love my horn...I f*cking LOVE my horn). He continued trying to push in front of me because there was no where for him to go. The person in front of me must have been sweating bullets because I was so close to them. Neither me nor the a$$hole could go anywhere. So, with windows rolled down we started exchanging words. I then decided to blare on the horn again (LOVE IT!), making hand obscene hand gestures, and pointing to my ear that I couldn't hear him.

    The girl behind me didn't let him in either.

    I like to think that a line of angry females let him have it. Sorry, but I have no tolerance for a$$holes...I let them have it and I enjoy doing it.

    It may not be easy to be a girl, but it certainly is easy for me to be a b*tch.
    That is hilarious! I love your attitude.lol.

  11. #11
    The best of both worlds Kathi Lake's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shananigans View Post
    ...I tend to have a smart mouth and a lot of attitude.
    No. Freaking. Way! You?! That's . . . shocking!

    Whoever said that women were pushovers never really knew a Woman - with a capital W. Though a majority of women are physically weaker, they more than make up for it in attitude. Let's see you get pushed around, pigionholed as less-than-others, and condescended to all your life. You'll soon see why you don't cross a woman.

    Femininity is not equal to weakness/submissiveness.

    Kathi
    Last edited by Kathi Lake; 11-08-2011 at 08:07 PM.

  12. #12
    Curmudgeon Member donnalee's Avatar
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    You also did the smartest possible thing. You do NOT want someone like that behind you. You're much better off being able to see his actions and staying a safe distance behind him. So now the question becomes "Are we more intelligent when we dress?
    "
    ALWAYS plan for the worst, then you can be pleasantly surprised if something else happens!

    "The important thing about the bear is not how well she dances, but that she dances at all." - Old Russian Proverb (with a gender change)

  13. #13
    CamilleLeon's SO Shananigans's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marleena View Post
    That is hilarious! I love your attitude.lol.
    If you really want to see anger in traffic, get a few girls that live together and are all PMSing in a car together. (Often if you live together, your cycles sync up for some weird/awkward reason). It's kind of fun and intense and always leads to learning new words that you have never heard before. I miss these moments.

    I say embrace your inner b*tchiness...if some loser is being a prick, let her ROAR!!
    "Today a young man [...] realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration...that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively...there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Here's Tom with the Weather.”-Bill Hicks
    “What freedom men and women could have, were they not constantly tricked and trapped and enslaved and tortured by their sexuality! The only drawback in that freedom is that without it one would not be a human. One would be a monster.” East of Eden by Steinbeck

  14. #14
    Gold Member Marleena's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shananigans View Post
    If you really want to see anger in traffic, get a few girls that live together and are all PMSing in a car together. (Often if you live together, your cycles sync up for some weird/awkward reason). It's kind of fun and intense and always leads to learning new words that you have never heard before. I miss these moments.

    I say embrace your inner b*tchiness...if some loser is being a prick, let her ROAR!!
    Lmao, glad I didn't say that, I would be in big trouble! Even in guy mode I wouldn't have done what you did, although I sure would like too at times. I'll work on being bitchier.

  15. #15
    CamilleLeon's SO Shananigans's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marleena View Post
    Lmao, glad I didn't say that, I would be in big trouble! Even in guy mode I wouldn't have done what you did, although I sure would like too at times. I'll work on being bitchier.
    I sometimes think women are more prone to being aggressive in vehicles. I have no scientific backing in this other than just being around my friends and just being myself. It seems like if I am out and about and a guy is being a real jerk, I'll only really do something about if it I JUST HAVE TO. This may be a some subconscious realization that I am (as much as it KILLS me to say this) physically "weaker" than most males. But, in my big a$$ SUV...all playing fields are equal. (Yes, I drive a big SUV. I wish that it were a huge truck...lifted and thoroughly redneck, but I'll settle with an SUV). You will always get a finger, honked at, or verbally abused if you make me mad on the road.

    The ONE exception is old people. I have a soft spot for people 70+...I was nearly ran off the road by a red Kia not too long ago. I decided I would follow this person (I know, I must have been out of my mind) to their destination (which was a gas station). I was planning on telling the person that he/she nearly caused me to have a wreck and to be more careful, blah blah. I wasn't going to get out and pick a fight or anything. But, a little old lady hobbled out of the car and I just got back in my car and left without saying a word.
    Last edited by Shananigans; 11-08-2011 at 08:33 PM.
    "Today a young man [...] realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration...that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively...there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Here's Tom with the Weather.”-Bill Hicks
    “What freedom men and women could have, were they not constantly tricked and trapped and enslaved and tortured by their sexuality! The only drawback in that freedom is that without it one would not be a human. One would be a monster.” East of Eden by Steinbeck

  16. #16
    Gold Member Marleena's Avatar
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    I hear you about the older folk, Shananigan's. I'll soon be one myself.

    Glad I joined this forum, people like you make me smile, and make my day brighter. You have a way with words. Your SO must have fun with you around. I'm smiling ear to ear.

    Oops sorry for going off topic!
    Last edited by Marleena; 11-08-2011 at 08:40 PM.

  17. #17
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    I'm intersexed and transitioned to full time five years ago so I'm not a CD. I drive very defensively .

    I also have a concealed/carry permit and on the weekends I usually have my Glock 19 in a holster in the small of my back and a
    pink Ruger .380 in an ankle holster on my right ankle.

    If some piece of Sh%t man attempts to run me off the road and attempts to accost me he will end up in a really bad place.


    Julia

  18. #18
    Gold Member Marleena's Avatar
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    Woah! Never mess with Julia! Thank goodness I'm just one of the girls ( I hope). *gulp*.

  19. #19
    Lady By Choice Leslie Langford's Avatar
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    Oddly enough, I seem to vacillate between two extremes when out driving en femme.

    On one hand, I tend to be much more observant of traffic rules and speed limits so as not to attract the unwanted attention of the local constabulary and face the associated awkwardness were I to be pulled over for a traffic ticket while presenting as a female. I also try to be much more aware of what is going on around me so that I can quickly get out of harm's way if I see another motorist driving in a distracted manner that could potentially put both of us at risk.

    On the other hand, were I to encounter a situation like Nicole's, my initial reaction would be to do the exact opposite of her, outrun the jerk, and to cause him to slam on his brakes to make him take ownership for the stupidity of his aggressive maneuver. My reasoning is that by pulling this stunt, he is counting on the fact that I am likely just a docile, accommodating female that macho jerks like him can walk all over without any negative repercussions. There is nothing I like better than to "surprise" such Neanderthals by acting in a totally un-stereotypical manner and leaving them confused and confounded. Naturally, I would not engage in such behavior in a given situation if by doing so, I would be putting anyone (including me) at risk. But if the coast is clear then bubba and bullies beware, because I will relish my Thelma and Louise moment! Hopefully, I am also performing something of a public service here on behalf of all GG's, as maybe this jerk will think twice before pulling a similar stunt on an unsuspecting "real" woman" the next time such an opportunity presents itself.

    Yes, I do enjoy "surprising" people by not acting the way they expect and in doing so, shattering their sense of entitlement and complacency. But then again, I'm a crossdresser - kinda goes with the territory, actually...

  20. #20
    Member Ashley Lynn Swift's Avatar
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    I would love to comment on driving en femme but I never actually did it before I started my transition. And now having been full time almost two years. I really wouldn't consider it driving en femme but rather just being me. And being a truck driver I spent countless hours behind the wheel. I do find I do tend to get the same amount of roadrage as I did before starting my transition. But when your job is like mine. It tends to be a bit annoying watching and dodging all the cars out there who believe the are gods gift to the roadways. When in reality it's a miracle they don't get themselves, or some one else killed. I.e. Like the pickup truck stated at the top of the thread. He sounds like a rolling death trap to me.
    [SIZE="3"]"All I Know is that the choices we make dictate the life's we live, to thy ownself be True." Danny DeVieto Reinassance Man[/SIZE]

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  21. #21
    Member sara.s's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shananigans View Post
    I don't know...I tend to have a smart mouth and a lot of attitude. When there was a bad wreck with traffic backed up for miles, a guy tried to cut in front of me by driving down the side of the road until an area where it was blocked off by a concrete. It was here that he decided to cut everyone off that had been waiting for miles and miles by cutting in front of me. Instead of letting him over, I blared my horn for a long 3 or so minutes. (I love my horn...I f*cking LOVE my horn). He continued trying to push in front of me because there was no where for him to go. The person in front of me must have been sweating bullets because I was so close to them. Neither me nor the a$$hole could go anywhere. So, with windows rolled down we started exchanging words. I then decided to blare on the horn again (LOVE IT!), making hand obscene hand gestures, and pointing to my ear that I couldn't hear him.

    The girl behind me didn't let him in either.

    I like to think that a line of angry females let him have it. Sorry, but I have no tolerance for a$$holes...I let them have it and I enjoy doing it.

    It may not be easy to be a girl, but it certainly is easy for me to be a b*tch.
    I just love your attitude. You are truly awesome!

  22. #22
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    Okay, I'll be different. When en femme, I might tone down my top speed to avoid getting pulled over but the fact that my daughter cringes when I brake hard in either mode tells me there isn't a difference. Driving habits are driving habits to me. Any changes have to be conscious.

  23. #23
    Shananigan's SO CamilleLeon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shananigans View Post
    I sometimes think women are more prone to being aggressive in vehicles. I have no scientific backing in this other than just being around my friends and just being myself. It seems like if I am out and about and a guy is being a real jerk, I'll only really do something about if it I JUST HAVE TO. This may be a some subconscious realization that I am (as much as it KILLS me to say this) physically "weaker" than most males. But, in my big a$$ SUV...all playing fields are equal. (Yes, I drive a big SUV. I wish that it were a huge truck...lifted and thoroughly redneck, but I'll settle with an SUV). You will always get a finger, honked at, or verbally abused if you make me mad on the road.

    The ONE exception is old people. I have a soft spot for people 70+...I was nearly ran off the road by a red Kia not too long ago. I decided I would follow this person (I know, I must have been out of my mind) to their destination (which was a gas station). I was planning on telling the person that he/she nearly caused me to have a wreck and to be more careful, blah blah. I wasn't going to get out and pick a fight or anything. But, a little old lady hobbled out of the car and I just got back in my car and left without saying a word.
    Haha you don't drive a big a$$ SUV...you drive a giant toaster on wheels (AKA Honda Element).

    EDIT: I guess I'll respond to what this thread is about haha. The time I drove en femme I didn't really notice a change in my driving habits, but I was mostly focused on getting from A to B since it was my first time out. The drive back, well, I still feel like it was pretty normal although the shoes I was wearing were a little tight so that was uncomfortable...anyway I feel like overall most of my mannerisms remain fairly constant whether in guy or girl mode. (Aside from poor attempts at feminizing my voice or walking style)
    Last edited by CamilleLeon; 11-08-2011 at 10:06 PM. Reason: To get back on topic
    "It makes no difference whether the voices in their transformations have each other to depend on or not. Smooth them out on the whetstone of the universe (tian), use them to go by and let the stream find its own channels; this is the way to live out your years. Forget the years, forget duty, be shaken into motion by the limitless, and so find things their lodging-places in the limitless." ~Zhuangzi

    "everyone here hates everyone here for doing the same thing that they do." - Less Than Jake

  24. #24
    CamilleLeon's SO Shananigans's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CamilleLeon View Post
    Haha you don't drive a big a$$ SUV...you drive a giant toaster on wheels (AKA Honda Element).
    You need to calm it down. It's big to me, and it's totally bad a$$ and big in my mind! People would fear trying to cut me off.
    "Today a young man [...] realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration...that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively...there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Here's Tom with the Weather.”-Bill Hicks
    “What freedom men and women could have, were they not constantly tricked and trapped and enslaved and tortured by their sexuality! The only drawback in that freedom is that without it one would not be a human. One would be a monster.” East of Eden by Steinbeck

  25. #25
    where's the stop button? Daenna Paz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shananigans View Post
    It may not be easy to be a girl, but it certainly is easy for me to be a b*tch.
    [SIZE="5"]OK ... I love this comment! ;^)[/SIZE]
    [SIZE="3"]Daenna[/SIZE]

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