how your wife/gf might surprise you

[elizabethamy]

Well, the first surprise was when she discovered the bustier I had carelessly left out in our bedroom (catch me!?). The second was the way she reacted. It had taken me a long time to imagine how I would tell her, and when she presented the bustier and asked me to explain, I said, "I don't want to talk about it," and then talked about it for hours.

All along, I had believed that she would be horrified, would kick me out of the house, would die of shame, and anything else bad one could imagine. But I think I needed the space of time to understand that I was going to dress and that I wasn't going to stop before I could really talk well about it, and the result so far:

1. great sex
2. fabulous communication -- dispelling of lifelong misconceptions about each other
3. lots of laughs
4. seeing a new side of her as she sees a new side of me
5. promises to take this journey together, starting at the lingerie section of Target and Macy's.

I can't be sure that everything I want, as it becomes clearer to me, will be okay with her. But we are miles ahead of where I ever dreamed we would be since this compulsion to dress first appeared to me. For two years I cringed at all the "tell your wife" advice on this and other forums, but wow! We love each other, for better and worse, and, what's so unexpected, is that her discovery of my crossdressing is the better.

So I know it will not be like this for everyone, but honestly I can't remember when the last time was that I felt this good about myself and about our marriage.
just fyi, if this helps anyone else....

elizabethamy

[Piora]

Absolutely wonderful to read this. Good for you both. Occasionally, I read rather disparaging letters here on our forums, where spouses have negative reactions, but yours is a blaze of sunshine. Thank you for sharing this with all of us!

[stacycoral]

Elizabeth, i am very happy for you, it makes our lifes so much easiler and happier, with a SO that enjoys us no matter how we are dressed. i best wishes to you, and have a great time on this new trip together.

[Dixie]

That's wonderful! I'm so happy that things worked out so well for you. It sounds like you have a wonderful wife who is understanding. I wish you all the happiness in the world (should be a little easier, what with some of the weight of the world off your shoulders).

[Longing2be-Trisha]

What an AWESOME wife!

Hugs

[*Vanessa*]

Wow what a great story!

Yes I would say also that this starts "The Best of..." in your life from now on. Really I don't understand why we don't share our whole self with the one we want to live with the rest of our life at least prior to marriage. I mean after all, it's tons of fun to go shopping for women's wear in two different sizes and then have a mini fashion show at home and such.

Good on ya Elizabeth, "Happy days are here to stay"

[Jenny Doolittle]

I think a president in history said it correctly, "All we have to fear is fear itself." I am so happy you have found a partner that is understanding, loving, and open minded enough to enjoy the real person she married.

I think U have a wonderful life ahead of you.

Jenny

[Karren H]

Oh yeah... I was surprised that my wife didn't kick me out either... But for some reason I didn't get any of the great results you got except she didn't kick me out! Sigh.. Guess I'll just have to be satisfied what that one... Like I have a choice. Lol.

[kimdl93]

I gues we never really know untill we test the waters. Its a big potential risk, but you know that sooner or later, the truth comes out...so one might as well be ready.

[heel_addict]

This is great news, I'm happy for you. She could have freaked out at your crossdressing like many women do or get mad for keeping it a secret. However, none of this happened and your woman was actually somehow aroused picturing you in all these sexy lingerie and clothes. Needless to say, nearly all of us CD gals would love to have a girlfriend like yours! You're lucky, I hope this gets even better with time. Enjoy it

[Rochelle]

I am interested to hear how the good news and approval/ acceptance affected you? Did you go wild?

My wife had a similar reaction and continues to amaze me, but for me it was like a green light to be en femme every moment I could. I nearly put on a fashion show changing outfits like a teenage girl. It's such a relief not to be harboring that crossdressing seceret and then to have approval/acceptance is almost over the top. There is another recent thread about pushing your SO and there is some very good information in there. Enjoy because as was said by another what may be accepted on Monday may be totally wrong on Thursday.

[Cynthia Anne]

Love your story! Just remember on this trip do not speed and lose control! Let her drive some too at her speed and jou will arrive together and safely! Hugs!

[Tina B.]

Best day ever, was the day I told my wife, I really believe it saved our marriage, Of course it's only the ones of us that got a positive response that can say that, but for me it was great.
I'm an earlyriserr, and some days I get up and dress full make up and wig, before she is up. It makes my whole day if she walks out in the morning, and says you look cute this morning, that feeling of acceptance that rolls over me, is just so powerful, I wish everyone could feel it.Congratulationss on how well it went, just stay with in her comfort zone for a while, and it will get even better.
Tina B.

[Claire Cook]

Yes, terrific story and we are so happy for you! Those of us with supportive, if not encouraging, wives are SO fortunate. I wonder sometimes if we give off clues -- empathy, sensitivity, whatever -- that they sense before we screw up the courage to 'fess up. So it may not be the big surprise we think it is before we do so.

I have found the same thing with my wife -- our relationship has deepened since she -- and I -- accepted me.

[CallieH]

That is fantastic to hear! Don't forget to keep talking, and have lots of fun!

[elizabethamy]

Well, now we have had a first couples therapy session -- this was scheduled before the night of CD revelation but just happened today. We had a tough time at some moments -- not easy for her to sit there and listen to her husband of 30 years tell a stranger about his desire to cross dress, and to say that he's not sure how far it goes or where it stops...a reminder that like all journeys, this one will have its obstacles and difficulties...I appreciate the advice not to push or go too fast...all good so far, but we'll see. Will just keep trying to be honest, with myself and with my wife.

e

[Marleena]

I'm happy to see it's going so well for you, buy her a gift. I'm pretty lucky in that mine accepts my CDing too.

I feel bad for some of the ladies here. Their SO's are not so approving. It's bad enough with the general public not very supportive. Your wife is special, let her know that (same advice for the other ladies). Like the girls said keep talking with her.

[candykowal]

Yes, let your wife know she is special!
I am sooo in the closet and my wife doesn't know about Candy...wish I could get the nerve to tell her....may end up like how your wife found out.
I still havent found the faux fingernail I lost last week, I opened the ashtray in our mutually shared car and found my lipstick smeared cigerette butts ( she doesn't smoke), and who knows what else I left out!
She has the same hair color as my wig so I think if I missed a hair I brushed out, I'll be okay.
You sure know it's our decision to tell or not and we all have our reasons.
Glad to see your trip up has a happy start...all the best for you both in the future!!!!

[sicmik]

Speaking from the view of the wife.. the secret itself is what gets most of us. It feels like we've been lied to the entire time. Full disclosure is vital in a lasting relationship & when it's apparent that not everything has been laid out on the table it can leave you with a lot of hurt & mistrust. The best thing my SO did for our relationship was tell me the truth. It's taken time and lots of talks but I think I love him more because of it. Plus now we can go shopping together, we ask each other's opinions on outfits, & our sex life is better. It's important to know that "we" (the wives) love you, but secrets don't make friends- especially when these secrets are about the people we are suppose to know the most.

[Marleena]

Speaking from the view of the wife.. the secret itself is what gets most of us. It feels like we've been lied to the entire time. Full disclosure is vital in a lasting relationship & when it's apparent that not everything has been laid out on the table it can leave you with a lot of hurt & mistrust. The best thing my SO did for our relationship was tell me the truth. It's taken time and lots of talks but I think I love him more because of it. Plus now we can go shopping together, we ask each other's opinions on outfits, & our sex life is better. It's important to know that "we" (the wives) love you, but secrets don't make friends- especially when these secrets are about the people we are suppose to know the most.

Mikki, just let me tell you you're wonderful! I wish more GG's thought like you, the world would be a better place. Supporting your SO's CDing is very important to him. CDing does not make him less of a man, it makes him a better man.

[sicmik]

Mikki, just let me tell you you're wonderful! I wish more GG's thought like you, the world would be a better place. Supporting your SO's CDing is very important to him. CDing does not make him less of a man, it makes him a better man.

Thank you, Marleena! I totally agree it makes him more a man. To find the courage to outwardly express how you feel inwardly is something very few people are capable of.. CD or not. Being truthful with yourself is a beautiful thing- if him wearing a skirt & heels is his truth then I am more than happy to encourage and join in on the fun!

[elizabethamy]

Mikki, thank you ... everything you say is true. I felt terrible not telling her during the two years I had begun to crossdress...I think I had to come to terms with it more before I could do that...but it turned out that I should have done so much earlier, and those two years would have been better ones. I've learned that when she says she loves me, she really means it, even if the "me" turns out to be a little more complicated than she (or I ) thought.

[Samantha_Smile]

Seriously great news there Liz!
Myself and the fiance recently turned a corner, feels like a hairpin. Things were going downhill for a while (stuck in DADT), but after a recent conversation and a little dressing time in her presence, the future really seems a lot brighter.

Im glad to hear someone else is as upbeat on the subject at the moment.
Wishing you both the best