I have been in several clubs and bars and have never really seen that type of situation. I think that the guy was more than way overboard in his actions and that the bartender should be notified and let them handle the guy. That is why, when possible I try to get to know the bartender, even if I do not know if I will ever be back. Not all men nor guys are like that. As the saying goes, one bad apple can ruin the barrel.
doing the devil thing. maybe it was a good thing to keep him there till he was not so drunk..could save a life or six on the rd.Originally Posted by sandra-leigh
Hmmm, didn't expect all this when I started the thread. I thought I handled the situation pretty well, nobody got hurt, no scene, no drama, the jerks feelings might have been momentarily hurt, but I bet he got over it real fast.
I don't like porn and haven't watched much since I was in my early 20s. I find it boring and repetitive. But, to further my education I went and purchased some tgirl porn, 3 for $9.99. Never seen any before and I wanted to see what it was about before I commented on it. Well, after the first couple of minutes, how is tgirl porn different from any other porn? That is, if the clothes the tgirl is wearing actually stay on her for that long. Boring.
The porn I watched in the late 60s, peep show stuff where you kept feeding quarters, because I was young and inexperienced, I was interested. In the early 70s, porn, or soft core, became more mainstream. I am Curious Yellow, O, Behind the Green Door, the Opening of Misty Beethoven, etc, probably have some of the names wrong, started playing in regular theatres and attracted a more diverse group of people, just not the perverts in raincoats. lol. It resulted in regular movies having more nudity and sexual scenes, and as a result, I think, the regular porn movies went back to what they did best.
Look at porn now, how is one porno flick really any different from any other? The tgirl stuff, same thing, from my small sample. What does that have to do with anything, I don't know, just rambling because it was brought up.
I do have to rethink what, where and how I choose to crossdress now. The place I go to has drag shows almost every saturday, and I find them fun and entertaining. I figured, probably wrongly, that if there are a lots of drag queens running around, that a guy in a dress wouldn't be that noticeable. Maybe, instead of wearing nice, matching outfits, maybe I should dress in the outlandish drag queen outfits. I have a couple outfits, I think, that would give them a run for their money. But maybe not, because they aren't short enough.
I'm a little depresseed now, have to think it through.
Thanks to all for all the varying opinions, comments and viewpoints.
Big hugs,
Jamsey
I'm sorry for playing a part in taking your thread off track. Maybe I should not have made that first comment.
I hope you're not depressed because of this thread.
Anyway, here's another way to look at it. Some bars have more admirers than others. Is this place full of guys like that or was he the odd one? If the rest of your evening was spent having a good time with the other patrons there, then I'll tell you the same thing I'd tell a GG. Just ignore him, he's a jerk. And next time he comes up to you, don't even chat him up. Just tell him you're not interested.
But, if this sort of thing happens a lot there (like I said earlier, some places are geared towards CDs & admirers), then maybe you could find a different bar. Our local GLBT bar has drag shows. It's predominately a gay bar, so most of the men there are not interested in CDs. There are also many hetero couples who go there on drag show nights, so it then becomes more like an alternative bar. You might also like to check out the lesbian bars.
Good luck!
Edit .. here's a list of bars in the Madison area:
http://www.quest-online.com/NewFiles/BarGuide.html
And this looks like a pretty good write up:
http://gaytravel.about.com/od/gaynig...d_Gay_Bars.htm
Stay away from the leather bars. Check out Walker's Pint in Milwaukee, if it's not too far. It's a lesbian bar.
Last edited by ReineD; 11-17-2011 at 12:42 AM.
Reine
Jamsey, I think that you handled it just fine. Yes, I still do recommend letting the bartender know, which is good for that moment and for the future. You would also find out real quick if the bar/club cares about your personal safety. I have been to some dive bars with no problems. I have had my butt (padding so no real feeling on my part) squeezed once, but it was by someone that I had just spent several hours talking to in a group. I was not insulted, nor felt threatened. It was all good natured fun at that moment and it went no further, and I would not have let that happen. So, don't alter your thought processes just yet, nor your going out routine. Being aware and having some street sense is needed when we go out to the really fun places. Have fun and thanks for an interesting thread.
I went and re-read the OP- in the course of one whole evening, if you only had one guy come and ask you (without trying to touch you) something you did not like, you're winning there. It sucks that he was persistent-but, well, eventually you'll have a stockpile of weirdo stories to share on those girls' nights.
It doesn't matter where you are or how new there you are, Jamsey, saying 'no, thank you' is always a good option.
And, speaking of which, where is Sean's comment on this thread?Herein lies the problem.
And if any of these guys come to this forum and read the "do you want to have sex with men when you're dressed" threads, their opinions will be reinforced.
^ Shhhhhhhh!!!!([SIZE="1"]If we're very quiet, maybe he won't see this thread[/SIZE]).
Reine
Well, I won't have much opportunity to dress over the next couple of months anyway. I'm pretty involved in the Wisconsin Recall Governor Walker and LT Governor drive, and I'm volunteering a lot of hours to help out. It is absolutely scary and disheartening what he and his Republican cohorts have done to Wisconsin in the almost year since he was elected. He has no respect for anyone except the rich, no matter how many commercials the rich people pay for saying otherwise. (say Koch Brothers) He hasn't directly attacked the LGBT community yet, but if this recall fails, and given some of the comments already coming out of certain areas of the state, there is no telling what may happen in the next 2 years of his rule. He has a lot of people scared, with attacks on Medicaid, Medicare, and Badger Care, a program to help the uninsured, inlcuding 1000's of kids, which he is ending.
Sorry, I don't think this is the right forum for this, but I'm blowing off steam, well I would if I wasn't so cold from standing outside trying to get signatures, lol.
Big hug to all.
Jamsey.
Jamsey, I have been in the Rotunda since day 2 of the protests and at the singalongs regularly in male mode unfortunately but always underdressed. So exciting.
To me, going pretty to ANY bar, is like jumping into a pond full of pirrannas! I can't get myself to go to a bar. Alcoholism has caused big trouble in my family, and with my relationships, too. I am thinking of going to some symphony concerts dressed up. Getting read there, people are not allowed to make noise, and they will have to be quiet about me, until after the concert!! Seriosly, there would be a higher caliber of people there, too. I don't understand why anyone would go to a loud club to meet pople. It is too loud to hear yourself, even!
Anita, isn't that funny, I have been down to the Rotunda a lot too, to the singalongs occasionally, though I seem to miss all the fun ones, where someone causes a ruckus. One of my best friends, Diane W, has been to most of them, she is our age, and hands out singalong books. You probably know her and I may know you oo. Isn't life strange. I have been to many of the major rallies there, though I'm missing todays because I'm collecting signatures locally.
you did handle it well jamsey...
i think its a valid point to make though that as a hetero sole dresser, you will have to deal with this over and over... which frankly i can understand how this is disappointing..
I just found this very interesting threat. During my many visits to clubs and bars, I've experienced a lot of different chats and contacts with people, GG's, other CD's, TS's and men. Usually, if there is someone interested to chat or in me, because I'm a CD, I know how to handle the situation. Generally, I don't feel comfortable, if a guy shows sexual interest, I'm a married heterosexual guy. At my age, it might be easier to deal with these situations.
For example, I went to a club about 10 days ago. I've been there 5 or 6 times already and always enjoyed the atmosphere, music and dancing. It's a gay club with many lesbian and homosexual couples, but also many heterosexual people as well, a mixed crowd. Normally there are a few drag queens or very few CD's like myself.
However, as soon as I had a drink and sat at a table, it was still not very crowded, another CD came up to me and took the next seat. He started talking to me, which was difficult, his English was bad and he didn't speak any German. The club is in Holland. It didn't take very long and he asked for my sexual orientation. I told him I'm not bi or gay. He still tried to convince me to go out to another place with him. I rejected and said I like the atmosphere and that I intended to dance later on. After another few minutes he left the club.
I don't mind talking to those people, as long as it is just a conversation with a smart and polite person but that's it.
Anyone going to clubs like that one in Holland or any other places where admirers will go need to keep in mind what some people are looking for. Be always prepared for something and be careful when you leave the place on your own.
Posting Permissions
