[SIZE="2"]Recently I was reading the memoirs of a famous author, and he was recounting his experiences as a student at a boys-only school in Britain. Naturally, the subject of homosexuality came up:[/SIZE]
“It is very important to understand that ninety percent of these enthusiastic participants would have punched you in the throat if you suggested there was anything homosexual (or “queer”) about what they were doing. When I later read Gore Vidal’s distinction between homosexual persons and homosexual acts, I saw the point at once.”
[SIZE="2"]Intrigued, I looked up Gore Vidal’s exact words, which are as follows:[/SIZE]
“There is no such thing as a homosexual or a heterosexual person. There are only homo - or heterosexual acts. Most people are a mixture of impulses if not practices.”
[SIZE="2"]What does this have to do with crossdressing? Lately there has been a lot of discussion on this forum about whether or not all crossdressers are transgendered, and I see a parallel within the ideas outlined above – is it possible that there are transgendered acts? I get the feeling that actual transgendered people want us (typical MtF crossdressers) to BE transgendered, so as to better welcome us into the makeshift bosom of the community. Correct me if I’m wrong, but the tone of this ongoing discourse (reading between the lines) is “You must be one of US,” namely TG...
Inevitably, when a male gives in to the desire to wear women’s clothing, he will begin to wonder if he is gay. This feeling is the culmination of a lifetime of influences from society, family, and religion, where one’s own sense of masculinity is questioned and tested relentlessly. It can’t be as simple as putting on the “wrong” clothes – it MUST mean something! Imagine not knowing who you are, or what you’re about, or why you’re engaged in doing things purely for your own pleasure. I may have homosexual tendencies, latent or otherwise, but that has nothing to do with why I dress in female clothing – I dress to enjoy the tactile splendors, and modify my male-ness in the process...
Your need to dress is most likely different from mine, but we are “sisters” by association. There are many individuals here who dress, for one reason or another, and all is eventually well, once we overcome those feelings of guilt or shame, or any gay connotations that are not representative of our crossdressing. But wait, there’s more – you must be transgendered! I beg to differ; in fact I have posted to this effect on numerous occasions, mainly because of the insistence coming from all corners of this communal cyber-gathering. It’s like a beating drum, but I can’t dance to it...
My friends, the prefix trans- means “on the other side of,” across, or opposed to. When you "trans-" anything, you change it thoroughly – if you are transgendered, you have changed thoroughly to the other gender, at least in appearance (TG is not TS), and you will not change back. You are on the other side now, and if you are a MtF TG, you live your life as a female. This state may or may not be transcendental, and nothing may be lost in translation. You don’t really transcorporate, but transfiguration and/or transmutation may have occurred. Keep in mind that I’m most decidedly NOT TG, I am a crossdresser, pure and simple...
The prefix cross- means intersecting is taking place, i.e. going from one side to the other, in this case from M to F. Picture, if you will, the intersection of two roads – briefly you are at the intersection, but you eventually resume your progress along the original track. You may linger at the intersection, or change your route, but, in the case of the latter, something is different. Again, picture the intersection of two roads, but this time the route you are on ENDS, and you merge into another road, perhaps changing your direction thoroughly. You are transitioning from one place to another. Unless you go back where you once were, say trans- and not cross-, OK?
Crossdressing is a transgendered act – that’s the idea I’m trying to get across here. Crossdressing may be occurring along the way towards a discovery that you are transgendered, but what if you crossdress and go no further? If I was TG I would be dressed as a female, look like a female, and comport myself as a female all day long, but I don’t. At this moment I’m dressed in drab, as I usually am, because I’m not transgendered, and I never will be. I’m comfortable to be a "mere" crossdresser. Back a few years ago, when I was living by myself, I had the opportunity to dress 24/7, but I didn’t, mainly because I didn’t feel the need to. I crossdress often, but just as often I don’t. My crossdressing is something I look forward to, and I delay pleasure to enhance the moments I am dressed. If the word act means “to do a thing,” “to seem,” to “pretend to be,” or “to represent,” then I am engaging in an act that comes under the heading of transgender...
However, I am not transgendered – I identify as a male, not as a female, so my crossdressing does not indicate a thorough change to the other gender. I take an excursion to the other side of the gender chasm, and dress in native costumes designed for the locals, but I can only manage a brief stay before I return to my drab world – this is all I can manage, or as Hedwig once said, “This is what I have to work with.” It would be highly inaccurate to call me a transgendered person, for reasons I have already outlined. Somebody could paint a picture, but that doesn’t make them an artist (trust me – I know what I’m talking about). However, most people would agree that painting a picture is an artistic act. Can you see the difference? Let’s be accurate, please...
I’m a fan of accuracy, and it rankles me to read these never-ending debates about CD vs. TG, in vs. out, or real vs. unreal (or unrepresentative of the community). Since the word crossdresser is in the masthead of this place, I, a crossdresser, was attracted to the site. Since I’ve been here, I’ve become a bit bemused by this opinion that all CD’s must be transgendered. If we go back to Gore Vidal’s comment about homosexual persons vs. homosexual acts, it states that “most people are a mixture of impulses if not practices.” To me, crossdressing is an impulse, and I am impulsive by nature. A TG could be said to practice crossdressing less impulsively according to their inherent nature, since it involves definite change. By comparison, I am far less serious than a transgendered individual, and I think that’s the root of everyone’s problem, if I’m reading (correctly) between the lines...
I’ll admit that I may not be the “proper” representative for our community, but I’ve gotten used to living at the far edge of town, very close to that intersection I frequent. I wish TG’s would be more receptive to the fact that many crossdressers go back and forth between the genders, via the clothing that could be worn by the “other” side, and this is done according to one’s lot in life, or personal history. If I was TG, I don’t know if I would look down on crossdressers – I think we’re a relatively small lot, and all types of crossdressers deserve respect, even those who “merely” engage in transgendered acts. To put it bluntly, I, a MtF crossdresser, cannot function without support...
Last year I had a conversation (via PM’s) with my TG, soon to be TS, friend, who was in the process of saving up for SRS. I asked her a crossdressing question, and she bluntly and accurately replied (and I quote), “I wouldn’t know – I’m not a crossdresser.” She and I couldn’t be more different, but we got along splendidly, since she accepted me for what I am...
I’m CROSSing my fingers that this insistence on being TG will be TRANSient. Did I tell you that I’m a transvestite? Oh, never mind...[/SIZE]
Originally Posted by *Vanessa*
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