Feeling terrible

[Jskylar]

Hey guys. I have not been here for awhile. Things have gotten rough recently. Mentally that is. I am stuck in a rut and not going anywhere. I know it is me that keeps myself in the rut. But I know my parents (who I am soon to move in with) will reject my feelings on gender. Also where I live the gay community is very minimal so you can imagine how thin any trans* community is. I feel like if I had some transgender friend's in real life it would really help. But I don't. I have no-one. This is just a vent I guess. I also work over seas right now. So when I do go back home I will have no friend's at all. (Not even cis-gender ones)

[Seamus_Jameson]

This is very rough. Be sure to make some strong online friendships to tide you over and pull you through. You will make some friends who can support you. It may just take a long time and you may have to rely on chatting with online friends and posting in places like this.

I really feel for you and wish you the best. No matter how much your parents reject your gender expressions, remember that it is about them, not you. It is their feelings, emotions, memories that inform their attitudes. It is not you. You are simply who you are. Love yourself.

[Bree-asaurus]

I'm sorry to hear...

I'm guessing you live in a small town?

Even down here in Texas I found an awesome support group for trans people where I made some awesome friends.

You may feel like your parents won't understand or even try to accept, but you never know. I thought my dad would be the last person on the planet to understand and I thought I would lose him if I told him. He ended up being one of the most supportive people I have. As religious and stuck in his ways as he is, he was still able to accept that my situation is real and he has been here for me time and time again.

I don't know your situation at all, but if you truly have exhausted the acceptance in your town, have you considered moving somewhere that could potentially provide a better sense of belonging and support? It sucks to feel like you're all alone, but I promise you that you are not.

Hang in there

[Jskylar]

Thanks guys I actually feel much better today than I did those few days. =) I'm going to try and help out the nearest city in their pride events and hopefully somehow, someway find an awesome group of trans* supporters or people to talk to.

[ReineD]

There's a FtM Network you could call to see how you can connect to the community. They have chapters in Vancouver, Nanaimo, and the Kootenays:

http://transhealth.vch.ca/resources/transgroups.html

The website also lists several other trans support groups, drop-ins, and all kinds of other resources.

[Launa]

Thanks guys I actually feel much better today than I did those few days. =) I'm going to try and help out the nearest city in their pride events and hopefully somehow, someway find an awesome group of trans* supporters or people to talk to.

Thats the way to make yourself feel better, get to some support groups and meet people. I'm sure you'll feel better fast.

[Longing2be-Trisha]

That is very rough, so sorry about what is going on. I have a similar problem but with my wife and family. My prayers go out to you!

BIG Hugs!!!!!!!!!

[AllieSF]

You know how important an LGBT group could be for you. However, you are just a human being with an issue. That does not mean that you cannot make new friends around your age and do fun things. Being winter up there it may involve outdoor sports, skating, skiing, hunting or fishing, or inside bowling, curling, dancing, whatever. Just because you are you does not mean that you cannot do whatever you want and enjoy. Yes, maybe you have to be careful how you come out to new people, or just come out from the beginning and then you never have to worry about it, but we all seem to have something that we are dealing with and yet try not to let that prevent us from living our lives and doing whatever we can to enjoy life. By all means do not become a hermit. I would prefer to hear about a rare wild flower that blooms in the glorious winter in the north. Good luck and happy holidays.

[Andy66]

Sorry to hear you're having a rough time. It may not seem like it right now, but this won't last forever. Search the internet for LGBT or trans groups in your area. Maybe you will be pleasantly surprised.

[Jskylar]

Thank you again for your wonderful opinions. Vancouver is a lovely place. And I have friends here.
My issue is that my parents live in the UK now and I am moving over to live with them next year. It's in the East Midlands. It's full of older people up there (no offence to people who consider themselves 'older people'). It's not like Vancouver. There are farmers and little villages and cows. People shout at me on the street terrible things. I will be returning for your support when I move for sure!

[ReineD]

Oh ... and here I was thinking myself clever for finding you Vancouver resources.

Sorry about your move to a place with fewer resources. ... I'm off to Google to see what I can find in the East Midlands UK. If I don't come back, it's because I haven't been successful.

Edit -
I'm back! Here's a link to resources you might look through, if only to ask if they know of FtM resources:

http://www.gayderbyshire.org.uk/grou...s-lgbt-groups/

And also, I do believe you'll be moving quite close to one of our Admins. Maybe you should contact her to see if she can point you in the right direction.

[Babeba]

There is an mtf cross dresser on the boards who is in Leicester at Simon de Montfort... Also in Nottingham I know of a very openly trans artist who was displaying some art at the gallery in the castle. When crystal and I lived in leicester, we weren't open with her going out, but I never really got a bad gay vibe? I know people arOund those parts aren't really the most willing to travel to the small towns, but in he major centers you should be able to find some trans people! Big hugs!

[Jskylar]

Thanks so much for those links I will look them up. I'm moving to the east coast. Quite far away from any city. I know I can get to places like Nottingham by train. We'll see how it turns out. It's a very long road ahead of me.

[Felix]

Hya mate I'm in the UK and I know for sure there are many of us around in the Midlands. There are also many support groups here and they do have good ones in the Midlands which when you move you will be able to find and I'm sure we can direct you to It's a tough situation to be in with parents and family amd I totally hear you on that as I'm in stea;th to my mum for many reasons being srict Roman Catholic being a biggie she still thinks I'm a lesbian ....Felix