Many people here have children.
My question is what was your motivation to breed?
I have to assume they are a burden to you due to either what you do or who you are.
Was it your spouse's pressure on you to do so?
Was it perhaps your parent's whining that coerced you.
What was your motivation?
I'm asking in a kind and considerate manner.
Thanks for your time.
Julia
Because I wanted children, I love them and they love me. I believe your assumption isn't entirely correct. Can our kids be burdens? Well yes if you use a loose definition of burden. They start off immature and need our teaching in order to grow. It is the kind of "burden" you want when you decide to have children. My spouse and I discussed it together, so it was a mutual decision. It has nothing to do with our parents. If they wanted more kids, they should have had them. It was love, pure and simple.
Our child is an expression and extension of our love for one another.
tina
p.s. I don't find the word 'breed' appropriate when it comes to a loving couple having a child.
"Motivation to breed"! Now that is an interesting way of describing it. I do not consider it breeding, procreating, yes. Reasons, primarily because I love everyone, including kids, I wanted children and I never thought about the why. From your stated questions as to reasons, it sounds like maybe they were your reasons. Why didn't you also ask if we actually wanted kids, loved kids? I really think these questions of yours are more the exception than the rule. I have two wonderful kids and I love them dearly and would never change anything. I have never ever heard anyone tell me they had kids for the reasons you questioned. Do you have kids, were you "forced or coerced" to have them. Why did you have them?
I have wanted to be a father as long as I can remember. it's a part of thsi whole mixed bag of values that makes up Me, as is wanting to wear women's clothes, as is wanting to have a moustache and beard as is wanting to make music. When we first got married my wife did a one point try to talk about NOT having children and I (rather insensitively, at the time as I recall) make id clear that children were and absolutely compulsory condition of being married to me.
Yes, this mixed bag can be contradictory, meaning I can't have it all - I;d like to be rich and famous but I'd also like to have an easy carefree life - but we've got two fantastic children and I get to dress frequently and to enjoy role-playing either a girl or a man in lingerie in bed with Mrs Flowers. If I felt any urge to transition or if I didn;t have her support, enthusiasm, encouragement and involvement I imagine I'd find things a lot tougher.
I'm wondering what made you think of the question Julie? Children are a burden to everyone: the stats show that people with children are poorer and less happy than childless couples anyway, and that's general population, not TG'd people. But if I'd not had them, I'd be sat here now feeling part of me was missing, just as if I wasn't able to dress.
hugs for everyone!
Rachel x
I Care to much, I have 4 adopted daughters, and my fiance just had twins, so i now have 6 daughter ranging from 13 to newborns, none of which are biologically mine. I wish I could say that the twins where mine but when I started my transition i didn't have the foresight to think maybe i might want children of my own someday. so i didn't do anything to help that happen, and now it's too late. and yes it we had talked about it, and even decided on a good friend to be the donor.
[SIZE="3"]"All I Know is that the choices we make dictate the life's we live, to thy ownself be True." Danny DeVieto Reinassance Man[/SIZE]
Ashley Lynn
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Woah.
Julia, your use of the word "breed" gives your own position away, and in a not-so-nice way, despite your being kind and considerate.
My wife and I had our kids because ... that's what married couples do, by and large. You'll be relieved to know that we only had two, which should keep our shadow from engulfing the earth.
Our kids, now grown, are not and have never been a burden.
Please everyone,
I mean nothing more by the term breeding then what it implies.
Humans are animals and because they are such they seemingly have an inert need for breeding.
There has to be a logical reason behind having children as well as it being a "biological need".
I'm in need of understanding the cost vs return outlay.
I have never felt anything for children nor could I have any due to my intersexuality making me sterile.
My interest revolves around the fact that society as a whole is degenerating at a alarming rate with each subsequent generation being poorer than the last.
This again raises the question as to your reasoning behind procreation IE breeding.
Thank you again for your time.
Julia
Last edited by Julia_in_Pa; 11-11-2011 at 04:29 PM.
My motivation to breed was, I enjoyed sex with my wife and I love children and wanted my own family.
Seems an obvious answer to a very simple question Julia?
You assume my children are a burden!
I have to say this is a sad and troublesome thread Julia. [Are you asking this as a kind of joke?]
motivation to breed???
I can't describe in words how sorry i feel for you.
There is, it's called having sex, making love. A gift from above when that results in a child.Originally Posted by Julia_in_Pa
So, unless you plan to use condoms (not a 100% protection) or your SO plans on using birth control (not a 100% protection) forever, There's a good possibility of having a child. Of course, a vasectomy would be closer to 100%.
My children were never a burden to my dressing. A hindrance at times, sure, but not frustratingly so, but I love my kids. Therefore, not a burden.
DonnaT
If it helps, Julia, I got that you meant "breed" n the technically correct sense but I kinda knew that people would read it as a derogatory term.
There's always a cost to many human activities. Hobbies, children, sports, crossdressing, transition, owning a telly, alcohol.... the reason we do them is we are internally compelled to do so. Breeding is an obvious one really, we have evolved that most of us want to have children because as a species we'd be royally f***ed if all of us decided the costs and stress and lack of sleep and missed opportunities for sex or anything else wasn't worth the small chance they'd be there to spoon feed us and change our nappies when we're 85.
hugs for everyone!
Rachel x
Kait, she may be using insensitive language but Im convinced she's just being technical, and not deliberately trying to wind us up.
hugs for everyone!
Rachel x
I don't want kids, never had.
I don't think "Family Name" is a valid reason. In fact, a lot of reasons I've read before indicate more selfish reasons than the selfless reasons parents profess.
I don't think population growth is necessary. *sigh*
I have no problem with the term breed. It indicates propagation. I'm not going to read into it. Julia has been clear that she's sticking with the denotation of the word.
I don't think most people see it as a net sum decision though Julia. They don't think "well it will cost X to raise, and Y for school, and z because they won't move out of the basement." You will see people justify it as love (a neurochemical connection), or faith, or love of sex (which I like too, but I don't want kids), or selfish genes, because 'they wanted it' or whatever. Because of that, I doubt you'll see a result to give you insight as to why they chose bearing kids over being able to CD or transition without a burden.
I know TSs who have transitioned (pre and post op) and have kids of all age ranges. The kids are more adjusted to it than most people in their lives. And my gf (gg, makeup artist) recently told her 11yr old about her clients after he mentioned a TS girl in his class, he thought it was "cool that she had a girlfriend who could help change a tire."
I see the correlation you are making with society, but I don't think it amounts to causation. In richer countries, the total number of offspring has gone down.
Last edited by Mikaela; 11-11-2011 at 05:05 PM.
—Mikaela
Because I wanted children, as well as my wife did. And I don't regret it one bit, I love them more than anything.....even dressing!!
Go forth and multiply.
That is why we are here. It was always in my upbringing that it was one of my primary functions in life.
My wife and I had three beautiful kids who gave us 8 wonderful grandchildren.
None of them were conceived by "breeding" as you so tactfully put it.
Last edited by az_azeel; 11-11-2011 at 05:55 PM. Reason: The OP cant have kids.. had you read the thread properly you might not have posted a distastefull comment
If indeed you are asking in " a considerate manner " , Why throw in the " Spouse's pressure or the parents whining ... being coersed ?"
I'm a GG, we decided early on not to have children. What a mistake !
We lean heavily on my niece for support due to my poor health.
All the extra $, all the trips , you name it, never could take the place of children .
It's all in how you raise them to be kind, accepting members of society.
I do feel sorry for you that you'll never know that kind of love.
Presh GG
breeding is exactly what it is:
breed
verb (used with object)
1.to produce (offspring); procreate; engender.
2.to produce by mating; propagate sexually; reproduce: Ten mice were bred in the laboratory.
3.Horticulture.a.to cause to reproduce by controlled pollination.b.to improve by controlled pollination and selection.
4. to raise (cattle, sheep, etc.): He breeds longhorns on the ranch.
5.to cause or be the source of; engender; give rise to: Dirt breeds disease. Stagnant water breeds mosquitoes.
Pretty sure the first two fit the definition just fine. There's no reason to assume the OP meant you had kids as part of an experiment or to cultivate like steer or Labradoodle.
Last edited by az_azeel; 11-11-2011 at 06:00 PM. Reason: Edited your post and removed some of the deleted comments
—Mikaela
Thank you all so far.
I'm very interested in your answers.
No Suzy this isn't a joke but a poll of sorts if you will.
Perhaps some background about me might lead to an answer for some of you as to why I'm asking this.
I was adopted by a woman with her PhD in secondary education when I was fifteen months old.
My adopted mother never married nor had any other children.
I was raised alone with every educational advantage available.
My mother taught me that one must approach life logically in order to work one's way through it.
My mother was much older than a biological donor would be. She was in her mid fifties when she adopted me.
Because of this she passed away at age 84 in 2002.
You can see my pathology.
There is nothing more that I want than to understand motivational factors surrounding your choice to have children.
You see this concept is quite foreign to me as is life within a gender binary causing birth to occur.
This thread is an attempt by me to dissect your reasoning so I may understand all of you.
I have zero knowledge of how people with children think in regards to life in general so any comments are very welcome.
Julia
Ditto!
It is really comforting to read so many other responses who understand as well.
[SIZE="4"]Momarie[/SIZE]
Hi Patty,
I'm not a cross dresser, I'm intersexed. So you could say I'm half a GG.
As for this "soul" thing, I'm not a fan of religious inference.
It was made clear to me that God is unto itself fallible.
Julia
Last edited by Julia_in_Pa; 11-11-2011 at 05:33 PM.
It's not something approached in a "logical" manner for me. No coercion, no logical weighing of pros and cons, no biological need. Just sort of happened. (Couldn't be happier about it either.)
I had children because my wife and I decided that we wanted to. I love them dearly, and yes they crimp my choices at times but it is a worthwhile trade off.
Shari,
Ahhh biblical quote. Fallible reading in my opinion but none the less I thank you for your input.
Julia
Julie, I believe your question was asked sincerely, and I'm sorry that some responses have been unkind. However, you have to understand that the question was put a little crudely. "Breed" is what animals do. We breed collies or quarter-horses, we don't breed people. You said (hopefully) that there must be a logical reason for it. No, there's not much logic. People fall in love and want their love to flower into a family. I have two terrific sons. My wife and I didn't reason our way to them. Life itself is the motivation: we wanted life to enlarge, and it did. Pretty simple stuff. But it was all in the heart, not in the mind.
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