Mym mum seems like figured out something.

[Jynx]

So...today she does her laundry as scheduled and when I'm back home from school, she asked for my underwear to be washed also and I gave her however I don't have long pants left in my drawer anymore so I have to wear shorts, eventually when she's back from laundry, she discovered my nicely epilated legs. And here comes the bashing...

Mom: Hey son, what happened to your leg hair, did they all fall off from your leg?

Me: hm...? I don't know.

Mom: Did you shave them? Are you fking stupid? You know if you shave them, it will just get worse and coarse? Don't ever do this again!

Me: ..... (speechless)

*Silent for awhile* go out of my room and go down to laundry then come back, I bet this is the time when she figured out something on the way back home, she must be thinking that recently I have long hair, so many skin care products, braces for teeth and moles removal surgery that must be the reason wanted to become feminized.

*mom comes back*

Mom: Son...I'm telling you, don't you dare to trim your eyebrow, the most important thing of a man is the eyebrow, you have long hair and you don't cut them, but you have leg hair and you shave them? You can shave your mustache and beard but bon't ever mess with your eyebrow!

*Owned*

Wow..I mean I'm kinda intimidated and was shocked that she didn't even hesitate what is going on with me and warned me already. One day, if she open my personal drawer and discover my flat iron, epilator, some more skin care products, I will get executed immediately.

My mom is just way too stubborn, one day I will find a job and become independent and I will leave her alone and do whatever I want, I'm pretty sure she cannot tolerate the fact that I'm in love being a woman. Even when my brother said something about buying some slim fit jeans since no one wear baggy jeans anymore, and I and he never find baggy jeans look good anyways, my mom strictly warned him that don't do it, she said it looks focking g4y. She just has bad impression on woman, I remember she always tells me woman are trouble maker, full of jealousy, manipulating guys money and stuff.

I can't believe my cross dressing campaign has to stay stealthy in the next couple of years T.T

[kimdl93]

As for the lecture on leg hair - aint true, if anything it will be lighter with regular epilating. And the eyebrows....honestly, I doubt anyone has ever judged a man on his eyebrows. Beyond that - she certainly was around during the 60's, based on your apparent age, so she must have seen many a guy wearing skinny jeans.

It sounds as though your mum has some serious issues of her own. Don't let them become your problem. All the more reason to perservere in school and move on to living independently!!!

[ReineD]

She doesn't understand, obviously. She is part of the group of people who feel it is wrong to be gay or gender non-conforming. She's afraid because she believes that everyone is against gays and TGs, and she doesn't want anything bad to happen to you. She doesn't want people to think you are anything other than a boy. And keep in mind, she does have a point. There are many others out there who feel it is wrong to be TS or CD.

I don't know how you can convince your mother to listen to you, and come to understand there are gender non-conforming people who need to deal with their gender issues. Pretending they don't exist is not a solution. You could try talking to her. You could try getting her to read this if you think it won't be too much:

http://www.gendercentre.org.au/cross...nformation.htm

I don't know if you are TS or a CD, but here is a 77 page book in PDF format written by a MtF TS to her mother. If it fits, you might want to show this to your mother as well, but keep in mind this is from someone who has transitioned:

http://ai.eecs.umich.edu/people/conw..._be_a_girl.pdf

[Cynthia Anne]

I don't know how old you are, but if you are at least 18 I would think your body hair would be your business and no one elses! Hugs!

[Jynx]

I'm just a newbie who start working on some fundamental things that is acceptable in the public, such as long hair, braces and skin care, I don't own any woman's clothing yet until I'm independent, so I don't think I'm TS/CD yet. Thanks for the article, that's some crazy long essay written :P

And by the way, my mom didn't know I have a secret epilate weapon lol, she just thought I use a plain electric shaver to shave them that's why she claim that the more I do it, the worse they get.

For some reason, I feel like I am having some mental problems going on, friend network is shrinking, my relative is slowly forgotten because I migrate from Hong Kong to NYC few years ago, people that I don't see for a year or so and when I meet them again, they always talk about my hair. "Why you don't cut your long hair?" "wow...haven't seen you in awhile you have long hair look now" and some of my classmate even laughed at my hair after the long summer vacation that my hair sucks (sucked because it was the mid length stage that looked awful, now they start to look cool :P)

I just feel like I'm drifting away from the normal community.

And like I said before, I used to live in Hong Kong where school regulations do not allow hair to be longer than 3 inches, this also created a wrong general expectation from people in the society that man should have short hair, but after I came to NYC, I see so many guys have long bangs, etc.


Off topic: (non-sense that you don't want to know)
My old school in Hong Kong have these stupid rules and let me name some of them :P
1) School uniform is mandated anyways, but I remember some person who is in a orientation for the 1st day of the school year, he was told by some class leader or monitor that his shoe is prohibited, only laced up style shoe is permitted while his is tape style and he was forced to buy a new pair lol.
2) No chewing gum, but I chew every day anyways because I need the mint to stay focus in the morning.
3) No cursing, no lateness, no running or it will be recorded on your handbook.
4) pants circumference cannot exceed some centimeters or cannot get below some lower limit, because like 10 years ago those style become popular.
5) No hair gel, sometimes when the principal, the dean see your hair look spiky, wavy or pointy, they will come touch your hair and mess them up then record it on your handbook.
6) You are only allowed to bring textbooks, stationary, and a brain. I remember one day, I brought a hello kitty doll to school for art class to portrait, and my other subject teacher has to peek into my paper bag to ask what the hell is that for? Not to mention the weekly scheduled school bag search, teacher will come to your class room and open your school bag to check if anything prohibited such as electronic devices, etc.

[Vickie_CDTV]

I suggest your mother take a look at hairfacts.com and bone up on her hair removal knowledge. She is wrong about shaving making the hair come back worse (but over the long run regularly tearing the hair out as you do might.)

As for Hong Kong schools, it all does sound a bit oppressive. On the other hand, as a taxpayer I only wish American public schools were as disciplined and productive.

As far as dealing with your mom, hang in there. I was in your situation when I was your age, and I know it can be tough. Eventually you will have your own space to have your own clothes, meet other trans if you wish, and so on.

[Samantha_Smile]

Mom: Did you shave them? Are you fking stupid? You know if you shave them, it will just get worse and coarse? Don't ever do this again!

Mom: Son...I'm telling you, don't you dare to trim your eyebrow, the most important thing of a man is the eyebrow, you have long hair and you don't cut them, but you have leg hair and you shave them? You can shave your mustache and beard but bon't ever mess with your eyebrow!

Even when my brother said something about buying some slim fit jeans since no one wear baggy jeans anymore, and I and he never find baggy jeans look good anyways, my mom strictly warned him that don't do it, she said it looks focking g4y. She just has bad impression on woman, I remember she always tells me woman are trouble maker, full of jealousy, manipulating guys money and stuff.

I can't believe my cross dressing campaign has to stay stealthy in the next couple of years T.T

Hi Jynx
Im guessing youre quite young with all the lingo (and the fact youre at school and live with your mum lol).

Your mum sounds SERIOUSLY over protective of you. She wants what's right for her son, my mum used to tell me women were trouble too (for some reason she said red-heads are worst... and SHES a red head lol), but she just didnt want me getting anyone pregnant or spending all of my hard earned (paper round) money on a girl that didnt appreciate it. She clearly just has an old fashioned view of men, she wants you to be strong, commanding and successful (or atleast thats the impression I get with all the hair removal problems she has).

Is your dad around? You havent mentioned him (yet) and I was wondering if another woman stole your dad from your mum, which would explain the issues with other women even better in my mind.

Calling tight jeans gay? Again, this is just old skool beliefs and values, if slightly homophobic ones.

You need to have a proper talk with her. I get that it might be difficult to do at your age- puberty, social awkwardness, potential inability to express yourself precisely, but you need to do it if youre going to have any chance of salvaging a good relationship with her. Your mum will love you no matter what you do, unless of course cross dressing is a sexual kick for you, then the talk might not be appropriate.

Finally, you need to figure some stuff out for yourself too.
Is this just dressing, or is this the tip of the transgender iceberg? Is the dressing just the front, but what you really want is gender re-assignment?

I'd appreciate a response.
Best wishes
Smile x

[Jynx]

The school rules are just bad memory flash back few years ago, now I'm over 20 already. Just saying my mum get brainwashed by the tradition that man is supposed to have short hair and woman is supposed to have long hair, and when I start to get some longer hair, I'm being called baddies or something, sometimes my dad tell my mom not to be over protective to me anymore because I'm 20+ already, but my mum just love to intervene and take control of me. But may be this is just me, the way that I talk is always very childish, high-pitched, when I pretend to be all grown up, with a deep voice, mature and be cool. My mom just couldn't take it because she will feel left out and lonely, she also has some serious emotional problem due to work place, I don't know what happen to her...now she gets away from her job finally and she's normal again. But it is harder for me to do CD stuff because she's at home 24/7. My brother is very rude to her, so I need to do the opposite to her. Even my dad is sick of her being stubborn, we tried to tell her not to be too conservative on everything in life, but she just don't get it lol.

[kimdl93]

well, good luck with that. On the other hand, sometimes people will surprise you. Some of the most conservative, homophobic people - when reacting to others - can be surprisingly accepting when it involves a member of their own family.

[Barbara Ella]

Really take to heart what Kim just posted. As parents we are programmed to be protective of our progeny. We know what is best because we have experienced it first hand. "we turned out all right," so what we think must be right. As a parent we tend to present a very stern one size fits all picture. That is until someone we love comes to us and shares that they are experiencing problems, and then there is no barrier we would not tear down to let our loved one progress in peace. These statements are generalities, and each parent is different, but a parent's stereotype is the first one to get torn down when their loved one says they need the parents love and support in their choices. Hang in there, give your Mom hugs and kisses, cause she really loves you, and always remember she is just trying to protect you in the only way she knows. I really believe she will surprise you when you least expect it. Dont be a stranger here on the forums. there is a lot of support here to help you fight the fight.

Babes

[Chickhe]

There must be some Chinese warriors in history that wore their hair long?... glue a few posters up on your walls. I think its just your mother's fear that if you wax your eyebrows you will look too much like a girl. Anyhow, being that you are at home, your main goal should be to become self supporting and to move out.... then you get to do whatever you want.