Question to CDs only, from Anonymous GG

[ReineD]

On occasion, the FAB forum mods will receive a request from an anonymous GG to post a question in the MtF forum. I've received such a request this evening:

To Crossdressers:

I'm curious to know your thoughts on whether or not you know what it takes to be a woman. It's more than just clothing, shoes, makeup, and female parts. I've read how some of you want to embrace being a female but I've only read posts on things like pretty panties, stockings, and dresses or which female body part would some of you like to have etc, which makes me feel this is very physical and like one big slumber party on the forums.

Sure some might admire women and I get that. I admire a lot of people too, but in turn I don't try and imitate them by dress etc.

On another note, do you really think that the grass is greener on the other side...

EDIT - The GG in question just contacted me in response to post #4, to say this question is indeed asked to Crossdressers and not TSs. The body parts thread she refers to is a thread in the MtF and not the TS section. There are many responses, mostly from CDs:

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...asts-or-Vagina

And also, she refers to the many posts throughout the MtF section where CDs say they are hetero in guy mode, but they want to be with men when dressed.

[Marissa333]

I have posted here on different threads, that as early as 5 or so I knew I was supposed to be a girl. That was long before I knew anything about stockings or panties or slumber parties. It was also at an age where I shouldn't have known the difference between boy or girl (other than the obvious physical difference), and yet I felt I was a girl inside. It later progressed into wearing women's cloths, and putting on makeup, but it's deffinately not because I think being a girl is all fun and games, or because the grass may seem greener. Lastly, I can say that I for sure don't know, nor think I could ever know what it is like to be a woman. That is something that no amount of fabric, or plastic surgery could help me to know for sure.

[bridget thronton]

I have had the opportunity to enjoy female friendship and support. I am in a position where I need to take care of a disabled spouse (cooking, cleaning, washing). I have a good idea how hard women have it. I have experienced gender discriination on a small scale in virtual worlds. I do not think the grass is greener, but I am happier doing the things I do. A. night with the boys in a sports bar holds no interest for me.

[Samantha_Smile]

Cant believe people get offended by cross dressing as this poor girl clearly does.
First point. Imitate by dress. Girls dont do it? Im calling BS on this one. Dita Von Tease being the number one example I can think of off the top of my head.
If girls weren't trying to imitate the appearance of another, then why cant I go on ebay looking for a knee length pencil skirt without seeing the words "Dita Von Tease" every 6th item listing or so?
Thats the end of that argument right there.

Im not certain whether she is confusing CDing with trans-sexual individuals.
Let me explain. She addresses her post to cross dressers, but goes on to seemingly complain,

"It's more than just clothing, shoes, makeup, and female parts. I've read how some of you want to embrace being a female but I've only read posts on things like pretty panties, stockings, and dresses or which female body part would some of you like to have etc, which makes me feel this is very physical"

Physical? Well yeah, of course it is. Clue is in the label- Cross Dresser. Not cross thinker or cross feeler, it's about the attire, the accessories all the trappings of what we consider to be feminine.
What body parts would we like to have? If breasts fill our dresses out better than flat chests, then we will buy forms. Whats wrong with wanting to look out potential best?
Again, this comes back to your main beef about it being physical. Well, you kinda already have your answer, we cross dress. We (should I say 'I') don't try to BE female, I try my damnedest to look female and enjoy the little time I get feeling feminine, but I genuinely think you have confused trans-sexual/ trans-gender individuals with straight forward cross dressers.

[Rachel Flowers]

I read it that the question was addressed to us CDs because the GG gets the motivation of TSs but many CDs will say we don't want to become women, we want to experience being one. And that experienceis limited in many cases to the nice bits!

I'm interested to see that most replies so far are from TS despite Reine specifically addressing it to CDs; a womanly trait in TSs, perhaps?

I feel I have a mix of genders within my personslity and I've found dressing to be enjoyable and reassuring since I was about 7. I don't kid myself for a moment that I am being a woman or coping with the stuff they have. I wonder whether CDs who say that have really thought it through.

I don't think she's offended, I think she's trying to resolve an anomaly in what some of us say.

BTW, is it fair to allow anonymous questions...?

[ReineD]

BTW, is it fair to allow anonymous questions...?

Yes it is, Rachel. Most of our FAB members have husbands who are members, and sometimes they want to sort through some issues by themselves first, before discussing them with their husbands.

I'm interested to see that most replies so far are from TS despite Reine specifically addressing it to CDs; a womanly trait in TSs, perhaps?

Although I do know some members are definitely TS, there's no way for me to know how everyone identifies. So I'll leave it up to everyone's conscience to not post if they are TS. Hopefully, they can read!

If you are TS and you've posted, and then realized the thread is meant for CDs only, would you please go back and delete your post? Thanks!

[Melody1985]

I totally agree with smile on this one.. They do call it cross-dressing for a reason. So essentially, there are some guys who just enjoy being temporarily feminine by partaking in various ways of female styling. With every intention of going back to male form.

If someone has a feeling of wanting to do more than the above, they may be starting to enter either gender confusion, or transsexuality. There are some who simply just want a more feminine form to look good though, but still want their primary life as a man. It really doesn't matter where everyone falls under the spectrum, since people are constantly changing all of the time, whether they are TGs or "normal."

So finally, my best answer to the GG who asked this, is that the CDs who maybe have expressed that they like their female counterpart more than their male one, or expressed that they want a female life in any way, that they are probably working things out in their heads.. aka, gender confused. Otherwise, take them at their word if they say they are CD, then that's what they are. Most people who have done this for a while are informed on the different term definitions, so I would just take what they say, and let that be it.

[jaleecd]

I find that the feeling of fabrics that make up womens clothes are in stark contrast to what mens clothes are fashioned from, and in that difference, I feel a small connection to what a womens world is like. For example, the thinner fabrics lose heat quicker than the cottons, etc that I am used to. I have to layer in order to find a comfort level. The breast area of womens fashions expose more of the chest area for example, than i am used to. Many of the gurls on this forum comment on the air brushing bare or stockinged legs as a new and novel sensation. These are a small portion of things that fastinate me about the difference in what we normally are limited to in comparance to the freedom that women enjoy. I feel that most women costume their lives to match their activities. clothes for work out, golf, tennis, running, the gym etc.
In a sense, we CDers costume to feel as closely as we can what you are feeling. I am acutely aware of my awkward body compared to the grace and beauty that God blessed you with. I am also aware of the judging that women visit one upon the other, about style sense, color corridination, whats in or out, how you keep house, raise your children and a 1000 and 1 other areas your expected to pass muster. I have watched my daughter and grand daughters face the female judge mentalness that is an every day reality in their lives.
In spite of those and many other facts of feminine lives, I am envious of the closeness and loving support, the openess to share feelings and every day love that women have. I like the clothes, and would love to have the emotional closeness that is a natural part of the female world. As it is, all I can do is press my nose against the window that separates our worlds and envy what can never be mine...

[Jonianne]

To Crossdressers:

I'm curious to know your thoughts on whether or not you know what it takes to be a woman. It's more than just clothing, shoes, makeup, and female parts. I've read how some of you want to embrace being a female but I've only read posts on things like pretty panties, stockings, and dresses or which female body part would some of you like to have etc, which makes me feel this is very physical and like one big slumber party on the forums.

I would have no idea what it takes to really be a female. And probably most cd'er's would agree. There is a major fetish componant to dressing, so that is why you read so much about the externals. But there are also a lot of cd'ers that try to look deeper than the surface, who love the beautiful inner qualities that come so natural to women, that so many of us who are male, want to follow after.

I agree that most of the mtf part of the forum is viewing women from the standpoint of the male mindset. Cd'ers are guys after all. And I can understand how from a certain perspective, it can be offensive, because women are still being sexually objectified, just in a little different way than non-cd'ers.

Sure some might admire women and I get that. I admire a lot of people too, but in turn I don't try and imitate them by dress etc.

Well, it would depend on the degree you admire and want to be like and identify with someone. One of the biggest payoff's in pro sports is selling articles of clothing that identify with the team desired. Buying and wearing a football jersey doesn't make you one of the team members, but it does identify you with the team.

On another note, do you really think that the grass is greener on the other side...

No, but if dressing helps us to feel more like who we are or want to be inside, then why shouldn't we, no matter where on the gender scale we are?

[eluuzion]

Hey, I is not an retard…
This is one of those trick questions, isn‘t it?

The logical answer of course, is that a GG will have the most genuine and accurate information on that topic. I would assume that those that have a total commitment to finding out by transitioning, TS etc. would possess a more realistic perception and the knowledge “ladder” would progressively weaken in line with the commitment level and degree/length of time devoted to the “experience”.

The “what it takes” descriptive qualifier is a bit confusing to me when trying to respond to that question. It seems to make an assumption that it is possible to actually “become” or “transition into” the same biological and cognitive state that a GG female possesses from birth. I do not believe that it is possible to replicate any living thing with 100% accuracy without creating it from inception.

Taking that into consideration, I do believe it is possible to come close enough to satisfy those who are genuinely committed to achieving the maximum transition that is humanly possible. I also believe that those feeling like they were a born as a “female trapped” inside a male body” is a genuine condition that occurs. However, this does not preclude the fact that they were born as a genetic male and a GG female was born as a genetic female. This fact logically assumes becoming a female entails a complex process of altering the natural characteristics that a female does not require.

Moving on…backwards…to a more simplistic vantage point…to provide my opinion(s) based upon my observations on this forum…

I believe there is a lot of reality in your assessment that many (not all) of the perspectives presented in the posts here reflect an unrealistic, naïve, distorted, or fantasized perception of the intricate complexities inherent in GG females. Setting aside the obvious confabulations, some of the “genuine” beliefs revealed here is absolute nonsense that incredibly distorts reality in my mind. Some of those few who seem to have a reasonably grasp of reality are also influenced by their tendency to distort reality just enough to believe some of their unrealistic desires are attainable.

With the understanding that my previous thoughts apply …it appears to me that many Cdrs here do not have a realistic grasp of “what it takes”. I also feel that there is an overriding assumption that becoming more proficient at replicating the physical appearance and behavioral aspects of females is a viable technique that magically produces the ability to experience the same internal feelings, perspectives and cognitive processes inherent to GG females. I do not happen to share that belief. It defies/denies the logic and common sense that I rely upon to navigate my world.

My answer to your final question about ever making an assumption that “the grass is greener” on any side that is not the side I currently occupy…on any issue…no.
I have not engaged in that type of thinking yet, and have no plans to start in the future, even after they release me from this mental institution.

[Clueless]

I'm very new to the whole idea of CDing at a later age & I'm not sure where I'll end up with it. I can't speak about being TS, as I don't feel like I'm trapped in the wrong body type. Most CDers have been thinking about or dressing from a very young age.

Males can't know what it feels like to live life as a real woman or to experience pregnancy & have babies. IMHO women are complex (in a very good way) & are more fully developed human beings compared to men. Women truly are the superior sex. I hope my terrible male writing does not cause any misunderstandings & please no hate from the guys. Most guys (including me) could be better people, by becoming a bit less male & more female to some degree. Society could be a much better place with less testosterone & all the problems it can cause. To me it's normal human desire to try to learn about what I don't understand, and are attracted to. Have you ever thought about what it would feel like to be a guy & do some "guy" things? Most if not all CDers would live as a real female for awhile, if they could do so without any negative consequences & be able to go back to being a guy when they wanted to. Many wouldn't want to go back.

I think most males & females do have both masculinity & femininity in them to some degree. A gross simplification for something as complex as gender within the human brain. I think CDers are more willing to embrace their female/feminine side than most males. I'm sure that you have done things in your life where the male/masculine part of you comes out. How about aggression in things like physical fighting, destroying things, sports & sex? Not that those are male only traits. You have to admit that male fashion & "beauty" is a joke compared to women's fashion & beauty. A whole different world. You shouldn't take everything you read here about CDers wanting female body parts too seriously. Not too many CDers would or could really live with a real pair of breasts, or whatever full time. Some do though. I think it's really just about wanting to look fully female while being dressed up. I don't understand what you meant by the "very physical" part you mentioned. I don't get the female names or the bonding either, if that is what you meant by "like one big slumber party", but I'm new to this.

I think most admire women more than you can know. Intimation is the sincerest form of flattery. Do you admire the other gender, not just a person? Most men (who are honest) know that life for many women in today's society is not as it should be. That doesn't stop CDers from wanting to hop the fence & see what that grass feels like on their toes.

[Noortje]

I think it is important to realise that crossdressers wish to emulate women to some degree. This degree is different for each individual. Not all crossdressers are interested in just the clothing and the makeup, but some are. I think most people on this forum are aware that it "takes more" to be a woman.

A crossdresser is someone who feels the need to emulate the other gender to some degree, with some frequency. If a crossdresser wishes to emulate women only partly, it makes sense that they would emulate only the looks. It is the most obvious difference between their gender, and the gender they wish to emulate. It is also the easiest part to emulate. You can just buy some clothing, and put it on. The same goes for makeup and to a lesser degree wigs and padding.

You ask:

Sure some might admire women and I get that. I admire a lot of people too, but in turn I don't try and imitate them by dress etc.

Please understand that most crossdressers do not rationally choose to emulate what they admire. They feel a deep emotional desire to do what they do.

I hope this answers your questions somewhat. A problem is that crossdressing, or pretty much any gender-related issue, is horribly complex, poorly understood, and taboo in most settings. One of the reasons we have lively discussions on this forum is that we do not really understand what's going on ourselves, either. But you are most welcome to read and participate in the discussions.

[Karren H]

Personally I'm not a woman or do I want to be one so I don't know whay it takes to be one. All I do know is being a woman looks like its way too much work for me! Lol.

[Tara Twolane]

I know what its like to be a woman and GG knows what it is like to be a man. Its all about the love, compassion, respect and honesty of being human. Its not about what we wear, or drive, or how big our house is. Its about what's inside. Gender is only nature's way to sustain life.

[LaurenB]

This question is really close to asking why we CD in the first place. I agree that the reason varies for each of us. Do we know what it takes to be a woman? I think I do to some degree. I grew up with a single mom and had two older sisters. Most of my early home life was heavily female influenced. I was a sensitive, heavy set teenager with larger than normal breasts (gynecomastia). I regularly got the snot beat out of me by other boys both physically and emotionally. I liked hanging with the girls in high school much more than my male friends. I still relate better to women than men to this day. Many years of societal behavior modification (survival, basically) has made me indistinguishable from any other "normal" guy. You wouldn't know it to look at me on the street. But I nurture, I'm sensitive, I'm intuitive and creative. While these aren't attributes of all women of course, they are generally not the sort of strengths you apply to the males of our specie. Being a genetic male means that we have a fair amount of testosterone being produced in our systems (even those of us who aren't exactly models of the male form). So yes many times the act of CDing is overrun by the sex drive we all are hormonally condemned to - a fetish. That's why you see these sort of sophomoric and naive posts. That's how it starts. In my case, as I have grown older, the natural tendency for male hormones to diminish starts to eliminate the need to simply satisfy a sexually associated need by CDing. So I find the act of dressing pretty and feminine and neat probably as much as any GG. Question back to the OP (or any GG): Don't you love to try on a new dress? Don't you love the way certain clothes feel? Doesn't your wardrobe have the power to make you feel confident or sexy or lovable? If you didn't, you'd wear jeans, a sweat shirt and boots every day. So we grow up male in a male dominated society - with very little tolerance outside of the "norm". We can't totally know what it means to be a woman but I think some of us evolve continually in that direction. I can't ever truly know it but I also will never really be a female - I can't unlearn those hard lessons of man-hood from my early years and I'm not getting rid of this body. But I now feel fortunate that I can walk the line and choose to visit either gender side that suits me.

[LeannL]

First of all, I am a crossdresser so I answer this question within that context.

I am not a woman and will never be one. I am a male who has a number of traits that fit what is considered by many to be feminine including some feelings such as nurturing, love of babies, and the like (I realize that classifying emotions as male or female is playing into a stereotype but I think that is part of the question.) I also find the need to express my femininity by dressing in what is generally considered female clothing.

When I look at a woman, I look at them as I believe a "standard" male looks at them but I also look at their clothing as I appreciate the effort they must have put into their looks as well as attempting to learn from them. i don't believe I am trying to imitate them unless you believe learning from someone is imitating them.

I don't believe that "the grass is greener on the other side." Why? I believe this because there is no other side for me. I am what I am and I do what I do because it is who I am - a crossdresser.

So I guess that for my specific situation, I just don't accept the basic premise of the questions apply to me.

Hope this helps,
Leann

[LeaP]

Do I know? It might be surprising, but yes, I think I do to a great degree. I've experienced it through wives, children, and relatives - over many years, though wonderful as well as some horrendous experiences. And while experiencing something, even as close as with a partner or as a participant, isn't the same as being something, I think people give short shrift to empathy. Haven't you ever had the sudden realization of another person's emotional state or point of view? It can be incredibly powerful. Similarly, the experience of actually feeling like you are part of someone? (I don't mean the flush of infatuation, either.)

I don't think the grass is greener, not by a long shot. Women and men almost live in separate cultures in many ways, both with pros and cons. Again, though, most men have known others who live in the world of women and can easily see the differences. Some in the forum DO live as women, even some that are "only" crossdressers. Empathy plays as well here, too.

Some crossdressers dress because they admire women or how they look. I don't fully understand why I dress, but I can say it's not for those reasons. At this point, I identify as transgender. Women's clothing feels in many ways (not all) like my natural clothing, as natural, in fact, as male clothing. I.e., it's not dress-up play.

The OP hints at superficialities in the question about posts on colors, underwear, etc. I agree fully with Smile's response. Calling out one aspect of a forum that also involves serious, substantial, lengthy, and informed discussion on a huge range of gender issues is manifestly unfair. One need only to point to the immense women's fashion industry to to point out that the accusation makes more sense (using the OP's argument) when directed at women. That would be equally unfair, though it positively dwarfs the men's fashion industry.

Lea

[gabimartini]

Dear Anonymous GG,

First of all, thank you for your question. Such questions produce a good opportunity for us CDers to reflect and gather understanding about what we do and why we do it, and then share some of those findings.

I think I understand where you are coming from, because even I, as a CDer, am bothered by some of these threads that seem to focus only on the trivial, frivolous and morphologic aspects of being female. Though I sometimes feel differently from some of my peers, crossdressing is not a science. Different people pursue it for different reasons. And in all fairness, no single reason is better or more legitimate than the next. All are equally valid.

Perhaps, to better address your questions, I should tell you a bit about myself. I started dressing at age 5 or 6. I fantasized about growing up and developing into a woman. Through puberty I understood it wouldn't happen. So, I embraced my gender the best I could and tried to act manly, as was expected of me. Having to sustain that outer masculine shell led to a big disconnect, full of anguish, confusion and self-loathing.

Through my teens and twenties these gender issues would come back to haunt me on occasion, but I'd just shove them back inside the closet, as I had done countless times. Until the closet door finally bust open, spilling everything in my face, and I was forced to deal with it. After some period of analysis paralysis, I was able to educate myself enough to first understand and then accept my life. It was either this or else.

So, you see, it's not a big slumber party to me. There is no choice involved, as I was born this way and can't help it. I'm not ready for transitioning and don't know if I'll ever be. So, CDing provides me with temporary relief to that eternal anguish, by bringing me closer to being the woman I was meant to be from the start. Do I know what's it like being a GG? Certainly not, but I'd give everything I have to find out and never look back.

Bottom line, it is not a matter of thinking that the grass is greener on the other side, but of knowing that, whichever side is greener, my grass is sitting on the WRONG side of that fence.

I can imagine this may be a difficult time for you, one of many questions and not enough answers, so I hope this helps. Please let me know if there's anything else you would like to know and I'll be happy to delve into it.

Take care and be well.

[BRANDYJ]

I think I know where our Anonymous GG is coming from. I am a man that happens to like dressing and acting as beautiful as what I admire so much..that is of course a woman. At the same time I happen to be glad I'm not a woman. Sadly women are still considered second class citizens and below men. How sad in this day and age, but true. I am glad I don't have to deal with much of what women have to put up with. Starting with giving birth and the next few years of being the primary care person for an infant. Most men are not strong enough to deal with it. Second, those monthly "friends" women have to deal with. Next, the generally lower pay for the same job. not sure I'd like being the next bed partner for every man that can't think much of anything else when I'd dress nice and go about my daily business looking.
I too don't get some of the threads here that the male CD's post. Like the one about what color panties are you wearing today. That's none of no ones business and frankly not what women would be compelled to share on-line with other women. I wish that thread would just go away! Same for dumb questions like breasts or vagina. It's like that's all we think about! No so for me and many that also ignore threads like that.
Back to the question: Yes, I think I have a clear idea of what being a woman is. Enough of an idea to know it would not be something I'd want to deal with. Being a male and a CD, is easier! I can pick and chose what there is about women that I want to experience. True, mostly to dress in some of the clothes that are otherwise made exclusively for women. Yes, I do feel like I have somewhat of a dual gender in much of my core values, but I never forget that I am a man and happy about it. I'm also happy that my SO loves her man and likes her CD from time to time. I adore, respect and admire women for the strength they have. In fact they have to put up with men and all the not so nice manly things we men sometimes do. yes, that includes our crossdressing. Now that takes a special kind of Lady and a special kind of love. More then what most men would be capable of giving back if the show was on the other foot.

[jillleanne]

I think it's important to understand if someone by labelling is a true CD, then they have no desire to understand what it takes to be a woman nor do they have any intention to become one. They do however, have a love for the emotions they feel within physically and emotionally when they wear clothing normally associated with the opposite birth gender. For most, probably in the early years, there is a sexual element to it. Whether that stays with them I do not know. For me the sexual element left years ago and today it's simply the overall feeling I get by presenting myself to myself and others. There is a euphoria I experience when dressing like a female irregardless of whether I am at home or out and about shopping, dining, whatever. There is also a feeling of normality, a comfort level mentally if you will, that I experience that tells me this is who I partially am; one and a half people if you will but only one person completely. Outside of the biological natural senses of a woman, we understand what woman have to endure in life, but to say we understand the inner feellings of the biological woman is just never going to ever happen period. Is it the same as we feel? No way of knowing.
I would question your not wanting to imitate someone. You may not consciously know it at the time, but buying any big brand name article of clothing is indeed imitating someone else whether it be the girl in the tv commercial or whatever, even if only to a small degree. A sense of fitting in by buying the product, acceptance if you will. Looking good in a mirror is self gratification/acceptance. Wearing a big brand name is imitating someone you are not, even if it looks good on you. It's the brand name that makes you feel that way, not the fit.
Being a CD for most is a small moment in time. The ability to crossdress only occurs during a small time frame for most, particularly those in a closet which is most. If 60 minutes for example was the average( I do not know) one stays as a cd that day, then any talk of breasts, etc. is simply a fantasy during that time dressed. It's a burning desire to look as real as possible during the time spent en femme and at the same time, experience the feeling they get inside every time they dress. When the cd'er returns to drab, the fantasy of having breasts disappears as well. Oh sure, one will often think about having a vagina or big cleavage, but deep down they know it's just a fantasy, not reality nor will it ever be a reality in our lifetimes. But it is fun to think that way even for a moment. Ask any true cd if he would like to have big breasts everyday so all his male friends could see them and guess what the answer would be? Yes in a fantasy world and no in the real world, and probably yes in a perfect world which it isn't and never will be and they all know that too.
Of course the grass is greener on the other side. If it weren't, we would all drive a grey four door Camry, live in a white house with black shutters, have four perfect children all going to university soon, a live-at-home mom raising them, and a dad you drinks from a cup that says, " Greatest Dad".
That "Leave It To Beaver" field on the other side of the road gives us all a break from reality no matter what the reality is. It gives us a reason to question and at the same time, express ourselves, our life, and our futures as individuals and as human beings.

[kimdl93]

Gabi said everything I would have wanted to say.

[Carol Elizabeth]

"To Crossdressers:

I'm curious to know your thoughts on whether or not you know what it takes to be a woman. It's more than just clothing, shoes, makeup, and female parts. I've read how some of you want to embrace being a female but I've only read posts on things like pretty panties, stockings, and dresses or which female body part would some of you like to have etc, which makes me feel this is very physical and like one big slumber party on the forums.

Sure some might admire women and I get that. I admire a lot of people too, but in turn I don't try and imitate them by dress etc.

On another note, do you really think that the grass is greener on the other side..."

Dear Unnamed GG:

OK, What are your issues? Have you been harmed or offended by a crossdresser? Have you discorvered that a close friend, family member, boy friend, or spouse is in fact a crossdresser and you don't understand why?

I do not think that you were completely honest in your request because you did not explain your personal issues. As such, any answer that we give will fall short of what you are looking for - that being - understanding. As I read the questions - multiple times, I do not think that acceptance of crossdressing is in your makeup.

Perhaps, a little more background as to why the questions were asked will allow us to give you the understanding you are seeking even if acceptance is not possible.

As for grass being greener on the other side - yes it is greener - and red - and pink - and purple - and every other color of the rainbow that isn't available for males simply because some silly rule says that men can't wear bright colors.


Carol Elizabeth

[sara.s]

To Crossdressers:

I'm curious to know your thoughts on whether or not you know what it takes to be a woman. It's more than just clothing, shoes, makeup, and female parts. I've read how some of you want to embrace being a female but I've only read posts on things like pretty panties, stockings, and dresses or which female body part would some of you like to have etc, which makes me feel this is very physical and like one big slumber party on the forums.

I don't think we want to experience/focus-on the negative/difficultly aspects of being a woman, if that is what you mean. CD'ing is a fantasy/dream to many and everything in it need not be logically correct or accurate to every detail.

Sure some might admire women and I get that. I admire a lot of people too, but in turn I don't try and imitate them by dress etc.

Imitation is the best form of flattery.. isn't it?

On another note, do you really think that the grass is greener on the other side...

GG's giggle/smile a lot more than we laugh/smile.. Doesn't it mean you are generally more happier than us?

[Alberta_Pat]

This is an interesting topic, with a variety of well thought responses.

I do crossdress. I underdress all the time. A couple of times a month, I put on the complete outfit and meet with "like minded" people. We have a great time together chatting about a variety of things.

This is a totally different interaction from my daily life. I enjoy this break from "reality".

Most of the people I associate with while dressed are well spoken, knowledgeable, and open. Those I see while in "guy mode" are notably different.

I enjoy the feeling of the clothing, and "pushing" the boundaries of Society. Sometimes the boundaries "push back", but not often. Clothing is simply a way to cover the body, and keep it warm. If Society did not label clothing by gender, I would certainly be out more in skirts and blouses, and I think a lot more men would do the same.

I have always placed Women on a pedestal, and through my actions, I try to join them there at times. Doesn't always work though.

[Kelly DeWinter]

Hmmmmm

Reine and Anymous poster

I would not try to answer for anyone other then myself, No I do NOT know what it takes to be a woman, and I doubt that I ever will. I know that there are times that on the inside I do not feel what would be described as a 'typical' male. One of the things I crave is a deeper level of communication and understanding with the people around me that women have with one another. There are times I would like to be able to go to a male friend and say "I feel ..." and have a meaningful conversation. There are times I get ready for work and put on 2-3 different outfits before deciding on something ? For me dressing is an outward manifistation of how I feel on the inside. Some days it's 'Alpha Male' and I can talk football and drink beer with the best of the guys. Other days it's 'Kelly' and it's talking family,fashion and friends over a glass of wine. There are days I wish women could see what its like to be in my shoes for a couple of days and realize how lonely a mans world can be. I would love to post more, but it's time for work.

Huggs

Kelly