counseling madness

[Shari]

First off, why do so many here butcher the spelling of the word counseling?
Not just that but so many words. Why doesn't this site employ spellcheck? But I digress.

That aside, "go to counseling" runs rampant and is the ultimate answer throughout this forum for any perceived ill or imagined aberrant behavior.
Can anybody here tell me if seeing a shrink actually helped them? I mean aside from being prompted to openly talk about it.
For instance, you are most probably asked at your $150.00 per hour sessions deflecting questions such as, "What do you think about that?" or "How does that make you feel?"
The ones who are "cured" provide their own answers by being prompted to simply talk about it. When that doesn't work, you are put on some sort of mind numbing tranquilizer drug.

Hey, the answers are here, right on this site and it won't cost you a dime. Bartenders and people of the clergy are good listeners too.

[Karren H]

First off, why do so many here butcher the spelling of the word counseling?
Not just that but so many words. Why doesn't this site employ spellcheck? But I digress.
.

I foreget to use my Blackburry'z spell chuck from thyme to tyme...

[Marleena]

I guess it must be a Canadian thing! Example: http://www.ccacc.ca/

You'll see a lot of spelling "mistakes" from us: So you'll need a sense of HUMOUR <----- Canadian spelling. Really we all make make spelling mistakes I understand what people are saying though, so no biggie.

[LeaP]

Like any other professional, you have to find one that's worthwhile. The psych profession seems to suffer more credibility issues than some. Gender issues are sufficiently specialized that seeking out someone with expertise and experience would be helpful, however, which is why I've been looking.

That said, and silly threads aside, I HAVE found this forum helpful in thinking through some of my own issues. What it can't do is provide access to medical professionals, as can a psychologist or therapist. I had a very good experience with a therapist after I divorced my first wife. A couple of months and done. I also had very, very negative experiences with 2 different therapists when I was a teenager.

I understand your general reaction. I have a similar reaction whenever I hear ads that routinely say "talk to your doctor" ... as if most of us have such access or as if most doctors have the time for anything but cursory answers.

Lea

[Noortje]

Counseling can help you solve problems that you cannot solve on your own. Like any kind of treatment, it does not always work as intended, but giving it a try is usually better than letting the problem fester. Finding a good counselor that matches your personality is hard, but makes the success rate go up dramatically (this is from personal experience, not peer-reviewed research).

Complaining about people's inability to spell is not going to teach them English. It is also not allowed on this site.

[Elizabeth Ann]

Why do you think you have such hostility to counseling? How does that make you feel?

Liz (who has benefited from a therapist helping me face up to the source of my depression)

[Kelly DeWinter]

Eye have 2 agre wit car-ran spll chkers r highly ovr ated.

[Kelly DeWinter]

but seriously. Counselors,tharapists,psycharitrists are really about helping you find balance in your life. I would have a real problem is anyone said they could 'cure' any issue you are facing including smoking. A competent professional will through a series of questions help you determine what you would like to change or resolve in your life (goals). then they will help you develope a set of steps to work towards accomplishing those goals.

huggs

Kelly

[Marleena]

For my serious answer, I can understand people ( Shari for one) having issues with the cost of counseling. There are some bad ones out there and being so expensive you want results. They do prescribe some nasty drugs too. Please research for side effects before taking them, and question them if you are not comfortable with it. I also agree this forum is therapeutic for most of us.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

Not all of us our blessed with the self esteem and self knowledge to make good common sense decisions about our lives...this is true for everyone, but the confusing and shame inducing nature of being gender diverse is an especially heavy burden for some people..

Counselor's help alot of people.. there are alot of good and bad counselor's, so it is up to each of us to make the most of an opportunity to pay someone $$ to help us figure out a very complicated and confusing situation.

A counselor helped me save my life.. hopefully you would consider that helping..

One very underrated function of a counselor for cd's and ts's is that they often give us our first real opportunity to meet others like us outside of the bar scene.

[Jenniferathome]

I believe virtually all the "go to counseling" suggestions are to those that are having identity issues or spouse issues. A counselor can act as an arbitrator and help two people communicate or provide a rational sounding board for someone who is conflicted. Bartenders don't meet that criteria.

[EllieOPKS]

I agree with your comments on spelling. There are a lot of free spell checks available.

Personally, I have never had a circumstance I felt a counselor could help me with until recently, and btw the way, it has nothing to do with my cross dressing hobby. It is an issue that does not allow me to sleep anymore, when my mind goes there I practically sit up in bed. So I have been thinking lately that maybe it's time I get another perspective.

[Raychel Torn]

First, as to spelling: I am a college professor with a Ph.D and a J.D and yes, I want my students to spell every word correctly but, that is not what I am looking for on this site. I want people to feel free to communicate without the fear of the rest of us pointing out that they misspelled a word (or 100 words). Even though I am managed to get my degrees, I have Dyslexia and spelling is an issue for me. That means that even on this site I don't always answer even when I have things that might help, because I am afraid I will mess up the spelling. Yes, spell check would be nice, but honestly I don't think that is what we are all here for.

Now as for "counseling" (I was sure to check the spelling): It was helpful to me when I was coming to grips with the fact that I was going to come out to my wife, and I am 100% clear on the fact that my wife responded in a loving fear free way because of the counseling. So, YES, YES, YES it can be a great help.

(God I hope I didn't use any word substitutions in this post, ie: Form for from. Spell check just doesn't get everything."

[Steph.TS]

I go to a psychologist so she doesn't prescribe anything, I find her to be of great help as she provide perspective, and suggestions on how to move forward breaking barriers I have. I'm not going to therapy for a 'cure' I'm simply trying to find a way out of this prison I have for myself. I'm a transsexual, and I have been raised in a conservative christian environment. my life experience tells me this is wrong and that I'll never be accepted. but if I can over come my upbringing (and find my faith does indeed support this) then I have the freedom I'm looking for.

[Julogden]

When it's obvious from someone's posting that their relationship is totally in the toilet or they're trying and failing at dealing with serious or even life-threatening issues, then it's entirely appropriate to suggest counseling, in my opinion. People in a forum are not in a position to give effective help in situations like that.

And yeah, some people apparently ignore the spell checker, but you may have noticed that it's against the rules to make fun of other's spelling in the forums, so try to ignore it, that's about all you can do.

Carol

[Leanne2]

Ok, I'll ask. Does this site have a spell check option? There are so many things that I don't know. Leanne

[RylieCD]

I have been seeing a theripist for many years and yes he may ask what I feel about this or that but he also turns things around to be seen in a different way. I needed to accept me for who I am and to figure out where i wanted to be on the TG spectrum, it is not clear to some of us. I continue to talk to him as it is nice just to unload on someone about the internal difficulties i put myself through by just trying to be who I am.

[*Vanessa*]

Love Marleena's post. I've started spelling words wrong just so I could fit in. Words like humour, colour, etc. Yes I am Canadian !!

It's a dull mind that can't figure out more than one way to spell the same word. Also this App has a few flaws and lets not forget about the ones that can actually, shall I say, adjust our posts at freewill.

One would have to start a topic in order to digress from it, otherwise it just reads like one is talking about themselves. </humour>

The Wealthy Barber comes to mind also, but so few here are so inclined not to use them.

I would hope at some point along this path professional people with the ability to help others get on with their life would be of no cost, outright, to the ones in need. Everyone needs help now and then, it only makes sense that the smarter the brain giving that help the faster the recovery (In my view). People are dieing to make the point of not fitting in everyday, Stop the Madness!

#JustSaying #My2cents

[Marleena]

In the U.S., only someone with an M.D. can prescribe medication. Psychotherapists without an M.D. cannot. So one would have to see a psychiatrist to obtain meds.

Yep, I stand corrected Val. psychologist/therapist cannot prescribe but they can analyze and make a report for your primary care physician who will then write you a prescription for medication needed.

[Cheryl T]

First off, why do so many here butcher the spelling of the word counseling?
Not just that but so many words. Why doesn't this site employ spellcheck?

Knot eveyone kin spel ass gud ass yew kin.

That aside, I think we've had numerous posts asking us not to pick on others grammar and spelling, so let's stick to the reality.

[Dawn cd]

I think some people have unreal expectations about counseling. They go in expecting to be "cured," but not all life-problems have cures. It helps to have another person listen to your situation—someone who can put it in a different perspective. That's worthwhile, and good enough for me.

And, yeah, I second Shari's remarks about spelling. While it's true this site is not about learning good English, it's hard to take some people seriously when they're sloppy about their writing. Who wants to dialogue with fourth-graders? Dyslexia aside, there's no excuse for it.

[Barbara Ella]

My daughter is a licensed clinical therapist, social worker, or something like that. Her biggest worry is the client who comes in and expects the "cure" and gets upset after one visit if they dont have it. BALANCE... As has been said, that is the reality of where we all strive to be. It may just be my daughter, but she takes clients who can only afford to pay $20 a visit, and is seeing several for over a year who have not been able to pay anything. She is, and I assume most counselors are, is interested in assisting her clients find some peace. I love my daughter (both actually, bunches)

Babes

[AllieSF]

Click the little green check mark with "ABC" above it and if you have not downloaded it already, the IeSpell Check software will prompt you to download it for free. At least that is how I found the spell check feature. It is far from the best, but it helps.

I have been helped by relationship counselors in the past. You also only get out of it what you put in to it. If you hate doctors, Republicans, and of course therapists, you will have a bad attitude going into it and you personally will make sure it fails. Yes, there are some bad ones, just like bad engineers (sorry Karren), bad medical doctors, bad navigators and any other profession out there. When you encounter one like that, you fire them and move on to the next one. Oh, by the way, the sky is not falling.

[Sandra]

I suggest that those who have had ago at the way things are spelt on this forum, and those who are thinking of making a comment along the same lines, read this

[GaleWarning]

My take is that there are good counselors and bad counselors. Too many counselors are not conversant with transgenderism, or cannot remain unbiased when plying their business.

On the other hand, if one goes to a counselor who doesn't meet one's expectations, or if one shies away from attending counseling sessions because one is afraid that one will be blamed, the outcome will be a failure.

Two things I think are true ... the advice one receives on this forum is probably better than anything a counselor could provide, and it is free!