Some people will never understand us (CDers) but that's okay.:)

[CloserthanthisGG]

Yes, yes, yes! I tried to tell my wife I enjoyed the sensual side of things. She confused that with sexual. Not the same things. Thank you!
I also have some gender stuff on top of that but that is a big part of it. Nothing in my "male closet" compares to pantyhose, a slip and nice dress.

Josee, Thanks! It's this difference that I think might be difficult to separate... I am going to go google female clothes made for men to see if they strike me as more sexual than sensual, because I think that would be the mistake that people making these clothes would be making...

And Lorileah! The caftans of the 70's for men were soooo sexy. Silk ones. With the long hair. Ohhhhh, why don't men dress like that anymore???!! Oh yeah. Like you said.

Somehow Babs, I just don't think so.

Me either... sexuality vs. sensuality.

[Jonianne]

.....I can understand why a CDer cannot explain why he has an urge to dress one day, and not the next.....

Not only that, when I was doing some serious journaling, I discovered that, so often, my feelings and understandings could change almost moments after I wrote something that I was absolutely sure of.

I would bet that cd'ers can tell you why they dress one day and then on another day it could be for an entirely different reason. With both days being absolutely true in their own moment.

[Piora]

I have said this in a few other threads that were related to this one, but here is something that I believe is a common denominator in most crossdressers.

We do what we do because of love of self.

Now, by that statement, I don't mean that we are narcissistic, or vain, or have delusions of grandeur - or even are simply "full of ourselves". But, dressing as we do, shows that we love ourselves, and love that we dress, and love how we look when we are dressed. Marleena's signature speaks volumes:

"Crossdressing is a gift that I keep giving myself..."

That really says it all for me as well. I love how I look in women's clothing, I love how I feel in women's clothing.....and I love how buying women's clothing gives such a self-boost to my spirit of happiness. I like myself, and I think I deserve to feel this way.

[sometimes_miss]

Some people will never understand us (CDers) but that's okay.
The most common question is why?

No mystery. The stigma comes from an innate homophobia, which comes from our ancestral past when female passivity and submissiveness would be seen as weakness, and make a male unfit for protecting the family and society he lived in. The potential for romantic preferences towards a fellow soldier rather than what his superior officer ordered him to do would also make him unfit for being in any military type organization, as it's well known that people will risk their lives for love. What's unacceptable, is when they may risk other people's lives while doing that. I'm not saying that it would always happen; but the possibility that it might, is all it takes for people to assume the worst about us.

[Anna Lorree]

Didn't you mean " But, from what I have heard on this forum, it wouldn't matter if there were nicer male clothes that tailored to your tactile sensations."? If so, then you are correct.



You can bet the whole farm on that....and quite safely, Shan! I have tried very hard to get those out there who, for whatever reason, just don't get crossdressers and what drives them, to understand that the vast majority of us aren't interested in anything that isn't actually made for a woman. Some cannot understand it, and that's fine.

When I shop for male clothes it's [yawn] [ho hum] [boooooriiiiing!] and that's regardless of what type of clothing it is, whether cool jeans, new suit, nice shirt etc. etc. Now let me see some hot cocktail dresses, feminine tops or blouses, skirts, panties, bras....well, I'm sure you get the drift.....and I feel like I want to go into orbit. My entire life, I have never been excited about buying drab clothes. I buy them when I need them, and never give it much thought. But, the excitement of buying some wonderful feminine piece of clothing cannot be measured in normal Time and Space......

Perfection, and ditto!!! You nailed that for me as well, Piora!

Anna

[Shananigans]

But I also wanted to say that you have a good point. The fact that they are women's clothing instead of sensual men's clothing is taboo and very very exciting. And maybe... what's the word, is it autoerotic? I don't think I made that up. I think it's a real thing... the act of dressing up and looking at yourself in the mirror and getting turned on by it. I have that, if it's a real thing, if it's not, then I guess that's a confession. But to the cross-dressers, what do you think?


Also, If I was to go about designing male clothes that would suit a cross-dresser's fancy, any man that wore them publicly would still have issues with most people because my fashion line would include dresses and corsets and things... (Men wore corsets back in the day too, you know... some of the days, anyways... and in some of the lands... ) I am picturing a black kimono dress right now. It would look like it would wrap like a kimono, but it really wouldn't because who wants to mess with adjusting a wrap dress all night. A big bow in the back. With big wide arms, again like a kimono, but it would not actually be a kimono. Silk, but substantial silk. Like satin, and shiny... so shiny it almost looks like patent leather. With embroidery covering the back and sides, but simple bits of embroidery down the top of the arms and on one side of the front. Gold and silver and red would be the colors of embroidery, with green accents. Floor length, even with platform heels. Maybe a slit up the side with some leggings worn underneath in an accent color? If I were to make this dress, the male model I picture wearing it would have like an Aeon flux chick haircut but it would not be a wig. This example outfit sounds like a woman's outfit and is would be seen as extremely feminine, but it would be made for a man. Made for a man's height, his shoulders, bone structure, etc. I would also make this dress in pink and red with the same pattern of embroidery. Are there companies out there making stuff like this? Would there be any interest? If so, I am actually a seamstress and would love to design and make things like that. This is how I would like to see a man dress at a formal occasion like a christmas party. Not as a woman, but as a man, just dressed like that. Clothing design was always what I wanted to do when I grew up but I never found a niche. Clothes are my passion. I don't think this idea would be for everyone... But I am truly wondering if there would be an interest at all. Maybe I will post this as a separate thread...?

Anyways... All of this was just thoughts I had when pondering your post.

Also, I wanted to say I like your picture, you are very pretty.

The "autoerotic" point is a very good point. My SO and I have talked about the fact that a woman's body is heralded as one of the most iconically beautiful things. When I am dressed sexy and in lingerie, I do like to look at myself and I am turned on by the fact that I look sexy. I think it's more of an ego thing...it's not really that I want to do myself, it's just like, "Oh, yeah...I know I look good...now, I am confidant and I want to get busy." I think for some CDs (like my SO), dressing can be a similar thought process. My SO is the sub in the relationship sexually, and it's very easy for him to throw the masculine role out the windows and become submissive when en femme. So, there is definitely a large sexual component to it.

However, as we were leaving for the party last night, I asked him if he would wear clothes designed for men to look like girl clothes. He was like, "Well, it would make things easier...but, it's just not the same if it's not actually women's clothes."

He has a really hard time in thongs, as you could imagine. And, they do make male thongs. But, it would be a cold day in hell before he wore this and considered himself sexy

And, I have to admit that I prefer the female thongs/find them sexier for some unknown reason than if he went out and bought male thongs. Why? Probably, because he is dressing to try to look like a woman. If he was buying clothes made for a man that just looked feminine...he wouldn't really be "turning into woman." He would just be wearing men's clothes designed for men, but look slightly feminine.

That probably doesn't make a whole lot of sense.

But, for example, here is a whole site for male fashion that is inspired by women's clothes. http://www.trendhunter.com/slideshow...oss-dressing#3

And, my SO is more likely to wear this corset over this one that is designed with a man in mind

I think the key is that he is not trying to be a feminine man, he's trying to be a woman when dressed...that's the big difference in not wearing the feminine clothes designed for men.

At least, that's my understanding of it...as one of those SOs that try to understand CDing. And, I can't say that I understand all CDs. I certainly do not understand a lot of people on this forum. But, I understand my SO and that's what really matters to me

Also, my SO has no problem saying that he is wearing a wig, wearing breast forms, calling himself Cami, dressing in women's clothes, and wearing makeup because he like to look like a GIRL. If his argument was that male fashion just wasn't as sexy and feminine, I'd probably tell him to watch TLC "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant" for the definition of denial lol. Also, if his goal was to just look like a more feminine, sexy MAN I would tell him he was missing the marker by a mile.

Luckily, he is pretty honest and just says that he likes to look like a woman. He feels partially feminine on the inside, and it is very sexually satisfying to him. And, I'm happy with that. If he was lying to me and saying he wasn't doing it for those reasons, I'd be pretty upset or just question his sanity.

But, again, not everyone shares his experiences. But, damn...a lot sure do...

And, thank you very much for the sweet compliment. Your lashes are really cool in your pic

[Josephine]

I think the key is that he is not trying to be a feminine man, he's trying to be a woman when dressed...that's the big difference in not wearing the feminine clothes designed for men.

I can agree with this statement. It's not "just" because of the softness of the clothing, but the fact that I want to appear and act like a real woman!

[Badtranny]

OMG Shan,

That picture of the guy in the blue undies stopped me dead in my tracks!

Good Lord how could ANYONE not find that man sexy as hell. Double yum.

Anyhoo, I have no idea why some of the CD's persist in using the "they don't make fun sexy clothes for men" argument. I mean they call it "cross" dressing for a reason right? (someone else pointed that out to me ever so delicately)

Men have some GREAT fashion choices, but you have to be into showing off your male body, instead of trying to appear more feminine. I'm just sayin' ;-)

[josee]

Anyhoo, I have no idea why some of the CD's persist in using the "they don't make fun sexy clothes for men" argument. I mean they call it "cross" dressing for a reason right? (someone else pointed that out to me ever so delicately)

Men have some GREAT fashion choices, but you have to be into showing off your male body, instead of trying to appear more feminine. I'm just sayin' ;-)

It's another form of denial, at least it was for me.
I'm just sayin'

[Shananigans]

OMG Shan,

That picture of the guy in the blue undies stopped me dead in my tracks!

Good Lord how could ANYONE not find that man sexy as hell. Double yum.

He stopped me dead in my tacks too when I Googled "male thongs." But, my SO would rather look like the girl below in the corset rather than that image of male godly perfection in the thong.

They're both hot though so I can't complain haha

[Anna Lorree]

He stopped me dead in my tacks too when I Googled "male thongs." But, my SO would rather look like the girl below in the corset rather than that image of male godly perfection in the thong.

They're both hot though so I can't complain haha

I agree with your SO. Who wouldn't want to be the beautiful and sexy vixen? Soft and smooth curves, the very definition of desirable. Personally, that is part of it. I want to be desired, I want to be the "sex kitten". Female bodies are the sports car of human frames. Male bodies, on the other hand, are the tractors and delivery trucks. Males are the chore model. Blah. Just my personal opinion...

Anna

[Shananigans]

I agree with your SO. Who wouldn't want to be the beautiful and sexy vixen? Soft and smooth curves, the very definition of desirable. Personally, that is part of it. I want to be desired, I want to be the "sex kitten". Female bodies are the sports car of human frames. Male bodies, on the other hand, are the tractors and delivery trucks. Males are the chore model. Blah. Just my personal opinion...

Anna

I can't say that I disagree with you on anything that you just said. But, I do like to ride a truck every now and then.

[Anna Lorree]

I can't say that I disagree with you on anything that you just said. But, I do like to ride a truck every now and then.

Lol, I like that... I've never gotten to ride one, just played with a simulator, but that was fun so I can't fault you. I'm glad you feel fortunate to have one of each in the garage. I shall have to continue with my sportscar envy.

Anna

[Tracii G]

Such a loaded question and very hard to answer.
Men's clothes do nothing for me I feel very out of place wearing them.No style at all IMO.
I dress because thats how I feel at that moment.I have a guy side but my girl side is more the regular me emotionally.
The feel of womens clothes is very nice and I choose to bend the clothes gender wise a mix of both so to speak.
I have gotten the OMG your gay/bisexual line a lot but pass it off as misunderstanding on their part.

[Aprilrain]

I get lost in music absolutely and if i really like a song i feel like my stomach is on a roller coaster and my heart flutters and my entire body is covered in goosebumps... Its like a whole body orgasm.... Things probably really thrill you like this. They dont affect every one this way and i feel so lucky that they do me....

PS. I am not talking about people who feel they were born the wrong gender.... Personally I do not understand this because it really is not important to me... Gender. But i will try to understand it. I am open to learning.

Yes to the song thing and for me nature too.

"Gender" is not important to you because you are cissexual and therefor blind to your "gender" and more importantly your biological sex. You are literally incapable of separating your sense of self from your birth sex. BE THANKFUL!

[taís]

I don't know what I like more, the idea of this thread or Shananigans' answers. While I do accept the notion that "Some people will never understand us (CDers)", I love so much reading Shananingans' posts. 'Cause this is a girl who deeply understands why men crossdress -- or at least I think I can relate to Camille and understand why they are together. lots of love on this thread

I (think I) crossdress cause I like to break barriers. And feeling sexy as a girl, being a man, is one of them. I'm probably being very vague, but this is an important point for me, and I feel very light hearted reading this thread

[DebbieL]

Cross-dresser and transgender are two very different terms, each describing a wide range of behaviors and issues.

A cross-dresser is a person, usually a man, who wears women's clothing to satisfy a range of needs including sexual, emotional, and identity needs.
A cross-dresser could wear only one or two specific items, such as a corset and stockings, or may want to wear everything, including make-up, wig, heels, and actually pass as a beautiful woman.

A transgender, is a person, for now we'll say male, who feels that he would like to have access to the world of the opposite sex, let's say female.
Transgenders could range from boys who just like to hang out with the girls, to people who see themselves trapped in the body of the wrong sex.

Both cross-dressing and transgender behavior in females is more widely accepted. Women can now wear pants to work, home, church, and in fact dresses with heels and hose have become a more rare occurrence even among "normal" or "average" women. In addition, girls who want to play with the boys and be one of the guys are generally allowed, even encouraged to do so, and girls who compete effectively are often protected from discrimination. There are women who openly wish they could be men, and when they speak of how they envy the power, strength, and success of men, and how lucky men are to not be judged by their appearance, many women will nod in agreement. While there are transgendered FtMs, the results of SRS are less that wonderful. If there is no prostate, no erection, it's a bit hard to have the pleasures normally associate with the boy's package.

On the other hand, male femininity is often not socially accepted at all. A boy who expresses even the slightest hints of open femininity becomes the target of verbal harassment, physical abuse, even torture and terror tactics, forcing him back into the closet. In grade-school and Junior High or Middle School, even mildly effeminate behaviors, such as wearing pink sneakers, wearing pants that actually fit and show off nice legs, or wearing fabrics that are too colorful, too shiny, or too soft - can make them targets for attack. Wearing shoes with heels - right out!

These experiences are often so traumatic that as they grow up boy will try harder than ever to avoid detection, often even going so far as trying to act more macho or being overly masculine. They may even engage in gay-bashing, groping women, and in generally trying to be as "macho" as necessary to avoid suspicion.

Unfortunately, this kind of behavior creates a downward spiral, resulting in even more dishonesty, more insecurity, and even more attempts to pass as "normal" men.
The war between the factions of the personality can be so dramatic that, when they get drunk, they can even develop multiple personalities, with either the feminine once, or the masculine one, will come out so profoundly that there is a visible difference. A good girl who is very feminine and sweet, can suddenly become more sexually aggressive and predatory. Conversely, a male, perhaps a very shy boy, will turn into a sexy flirting ****.

In some cases, many cases actually, the harder the individual tries to tame, contain, split and restrain the masculine and feminine as separate entities, the more difficult it becomes, and the more each side tries to dominate. For many, perhaps 30-40 percent, it leads to successful suicide, and another 30-40 percent will attempt, unsuccessfully.

When "outed" many transgenders and cross-dressers have lost jobs, wives, girl-friends, and lovers.

Ironically, the "cure" or "treatment" is actually very simple. Therapists who specialize in treating this condition, encourage their client to actually come out and deal with what there is to deal with. They are encouraged to start in "safe" environments first, and to gradually do more until they either reach the point where they are living 24/7 as a woman and decide for themselves that they don't want to go back to being men, or until they reach a point where they decide how much dressing is enough for them, and in which environments.

For the SO, there may be internal conflict as well. She may have been attracted to his feminine side, may have loved that he was more gentle, patient, kind, listening, sympathetic, than he knew exactly how to scratch the area around and under the bra, that felt so good, or how he would let her father win at cards or games and not get upset about it, even have fun with it. He may also be more patient and considerate as a lover, wanting to spend time slow dancing, cuddling, and enjoying scents and sensations rather than just rushing to the "money shot" as quickly as possible. All of these things may be things she knows are not "typical man", but they are things she like, even loves about him.

Unfortunately, when the CD first presents the news to his wife, her initial reaction, almost universally, is anger, not at the dressing, or the transgender, but at the DECEPTION itself. She cannot believe that he has tried so hard to keep his little secret for so long (even if it's only weeks or months), without her knowing about it. She immediately begins to wonder what ELSE he might have lied about, what else she doesn't know, what else he might be hiding. She doesn't understand how early the persecution started. Many transgenders start dressing and have their secret fantasies of being a girl when they are only 4-5 years old, sometimes when they first discover that there is a difference between what boys and girls have "down there". More often, they just prefer playing with girls, until suddenly someone tells them they can't or shouldn't do it any more. Often, this produces feelings of shame and guilt, which are reinforced by boys verbally abusing them, and when the adults aren't looking, physically abusing them. The physical abuse can range from constant fights to groups of boys tearing into a "sissy" with baseball bats, rocks, broomsticks, even lead pipes. Many of these boys are encouraged by their parents or grandparents who want to keep their children from becoming gay or effeminate, and resort to physical abuse when they see even hints of it.

In some cases, the wife begins to realize that her husband has actually been living a lie all his life, and that she may be the very first person, or maybe the second, after a councilor, sponsor, or therapist, that he has ever told. She is one of the first to ever know the TRUTH about him. For some women, this makes the deception even worse, especially if the man has tried to overdo the macho act.

It's often only after this whole shock has been processed, that they begin to view the situation with more compassion. They may even realize that they had suspected something, and maybe even thought it would be fun to dress him up, if only he had spoken up sooner. In some cases, knowing the truth and accepting it can create intimacy like neither of them has ever experienced before, they could be even more living, kind, compassionate, caring, and affectionate. They may even find that he hated going shopping with his wife before because he felt the pain of envy and jealousy, maybe wishing he could pick something for himself, or frustrated that she wouldn't wear the things he so desperately wanted to wear himself. Now, with the freedom to express his own desires, shopping becomes something they love to do together, and they enjoy supporting each other, taking each other's fashion advice. She can help him find things that make it easier for him to pass, and he can find things that help her turn heads as a woman, or at least make him want to dress up in the suit and take her out dancing once in a while.

The wife may even find that her husband is more interested in diets, exercise, social activities that involve dancing and physical activity, and better grooming. He may be more willing to do so-called "women's work" like doing the laundry, including sorting, washing, drying, folding, and putting away the clothes. She may even discover that her husband's feminine personality is more neat, more organized, and more detail oriented. Often, when the feminine identity is suppressed, most of the traits that are associated with that identity are suppressed too.

On the other hand, if the CD/TG has tried, successfully, to completely split his personality, and has become almost a masculine sexist pig, if he's built up big beefy muscles, talks in a low, loud, growly voice, engages in gay-bashing, makes fun of effeminate men, and doesn't want his son to be a sissy, the wife who was attracted to that man, may not be willing to give that up. She may also worry that there are other secret repressed desires such as a desire for men, that he may have tried to "prove himself" in other ways, such as having affairs, or even that he might be hiding even more sinister secrets. In this case, the attempt to overcompensate has made it nearly impossible for her to accept him as anything other than the sexist pig he has always been, that she has always loved. If he was an "alpha male", she may have enjoyed his protective nature, his dominance, and even his aggression. In these cases, it is often nearly impossible to reconcile the alpha male and the cross-dresser. She may have difficulty accepting her mate as either, and may even just completely reject him. He is no longer the Alpha male she wanted, an she doesn't want the boy in the dress, no matter how pretty she is.

Perhaps the most dramatic scenario is the man who posed as an alpha, got his wife to fall in love with the alpha male, then started getting violent and abusive out of his own frustration and inability to kill his feminine side. When this type of man finally "fesses up" it can get very ugly. The wife may act very supportive, even pushing him to transition, to take hormones, and even become more dominant, only to put him out on the street after he has come to the point where he can only live as a woman. Or she may take a well hung male lover to humiliate her husband, to abuse him the same way she abused him all those years.

Hopefully, as people become more aware of how pervasive gender identity issues really are, and begin to be more tolerant of those who are openly transgendered, there will be less need for all of the deception, dishonesty, and trying to keep secrets from your own wife or lover, the person who wanted to commit to you for life, for better or worse til death do you part. With social media like Facebook, people can share those aspects of their personality in a non-threatening way. They can post a "Halloween" picture of themselves in a skirt, heels, wig, and make-up an discover that a lot of people "Like" it. With dating sites like Match.com transgendered can be open about who they are, and can meet women who actually WANT a guy who wants to let his inner woman out once in a while, or even a guy they can turn into that "Girl with Something Extra".

Bisexual men and women have their own frustrations and repressed desires. Often, bisexual women gravitate toward more feminine men, so they get the best of both worlds. Conversely, bisexual men often gravitate toward more masculine women, because they can have the best of their both worlds. To either group, a cross-dresser or transgender is the answer to their prayers.

[Badtranny]

I love so much reading Shananingans' posts. 'Cause this is a girl who deeply understands why men crossdress --

She does, and so does ReineD, but the new girl Closerthanthis (she even used the right homonym) is blowing my mind right now. My kinda gal.

Women who can love a CD are out there ladies, but you have to love yourself to make it worth their while.

[Shananigans]

'Cause this is a girl who deeply understands why men crossdress -- or at least I think I can relate to Camille and understand why they are together.

Oh, nonsense....y'all are too complex to be understood on any such level.

Women who can love a CD are out there ladies, but you have to love yourself to make it worth their while.

I definitely agree with this. I really don't think we are all that "rare" or "special" really. I always feel just a little bit silly when people say how lucky my SO is and what a "gem" I am. (I appreciate it, but it still feels funny). I guess because it makes me feel different, or like I am so far progressively from the norm. Being with my SO feels entirely natural and I don't really feel being with my SO is a struggle, or anything outside the norm. (Not to say we HAVEN'T had struggles, but I don't think these struggles were inherently biproducts of CDing). I think there are a lot of people out there that would be happy with a TG person...but, like me, most GGs don't really know they are in that boat of acceptance until they meet THAT person.

[Pink Person]

I have been playing hardball with some of the CDs lately because I think it's important that our common bonds be properly recognized. Cisfeminine and transfeminine people are related to each other in core ways that are frequently denied by some CDs. We share similar natures with each other, and our similarities are more important than our differences. Crossdressing might be the light beer of transgender behavior but it is brewed from the same ingredients as the more potent behaviors. I want this fact to get some due respect.

No one is masculine or feminine because they did a cost-benefit analysis and based their decision on the results. It isn't about whose clothes or behaviors are superior or inferior. It isn't about having out of body experiences or orgasms. It's about being who you are and being like the people who are like you. It's about living in your own skin and knowing your relatives. If you have disassociated your behavior from these facts then you have divorced yourself from the truth of your condition.

[Melody1985]

I have been playing hardball with some of the CDs lately because I think it's important that our common bonds be properly recognized. Cisfeminine and transfeminine people are related to each other in core ways that are frequently denied by some CDs. We share similar natures with each other, and our similarities are more important than our differences. Crossdressing might be the light beer of transgender behavior but it is brewed from the same ingredients as the more potent behaviors. I want this fact to get some due respect.

No one is masculine or feminine because they did a cost-benefit analysis and based their decision on the results. It isn't about whose clothes or behaviors are superior or inferior. It isn't about having out of body experiences or orgasms. It's about being who you are and being like the people who are like you. It's about living in your own skin and knowing your relatives. If you have disassociated your behavior from these facts then you have divorced yourself from the truth of your condition.

I do like what you are saying here.. In my opinion, this is well said.

[Piora]

Female bodies are the sports car of human frames. Male bodies, on the other hand, are the tractors and delivery trucks. Males are the chore model.
Anna

Ohhh....I like that metaphor! Very good, Anna!

Crossdressing might be the light beer of transgender behavior but it is brewed from the same ingredients as the more potent behaviors. I want this fact to get some due respect.

While I generally find your posts to be rather full of a variety of terminology that I can't really get my head around (no offense intended) I will agree with this analogy.

[Marleena]

I have been playing hardball with some of the CDs lately because I think it's important that our common bonds be properly recognized. Cisfeminine and transfeminine people are related to each other in core ways that are frequently denied by some CDs. We share similar natures with each other, and our similarities are more important than our differences. Crossdressing might be the light beer of transgender behavior but it is brewed from the same ingredients as the more potent behaviors. I want this fact to get some due respect.

No one is masculine or feminine because they did a cost-benefit analysis and based their decision on the results. It isn't about whose clothes or behaviors are superior or inferior. It isn't about having out of body experiences or orgasms. It's about being who you are and being like the people who are like you. It's about living in your own skin and knowing your relatives. If you have disassociated your behavior from these facts then you have divorced yourself from the truth of your condition.

I also like this post, well said!

I also like the fact that we have some accepting SO's contributing here. Based on what they are saying they obviously have good communication with their CD partners. If they want answers the best place to go is to their own partners since we are all different.

[CloserthanthisGG]

Yes to the song thing and for me nature too.

"Gender" is not important to you because you are cissexual and therefor blind to your "gender" and more importantly your biological sex. You are literally incapable of separating your sense of self from your birth sex. BE THANKFUL!

I'm not entirely sure about that cissexual bit with regards to me... ( I had to google it... ) I mean... I don't consider myself transgendered, of course..

But I have recurring dreams that I have a penis, including one in which I distinctly remember having an orgasm as a man. It felt very very differently. I am having sex with women in these dreams and in the dominant role.

But sometimes, I have fantacised during the day about being a man and having sex with men also. (Not lately, because all of my fantasies lately have been about Lisia... But in the fantasies, sometimes they are about people I know and the men are women and sometimes they're men... meaning that these are real people I'm fantacising about, but I imagine them as having a gender other than their own. But this has been something that happened my whole life in my head. I'm not sure it is normal or not.

But I have always had penis envy.

But what I meant by gender not mattering me is I think the opposite of what it may have seemed like I meant. I don't mean that it's not a big deal because I'm clear on all of these things and I know what I am and how I feel and what I was always supposed to be. I just meant that it doesn't matter if you are a man or a woman to me. It doesn't even matter to me if I am a man or a woman. I'm not really blind to gender. Just indifferent. But if you feel that you are a woman, even if you have a penis, then that's what you are.

I've heard people before say to their friends: "It doesn't bother me what people do in their bedrooms because it doesn't affect me." This is not what I am saying either though. I am saying that... basically, I judge people entirely on who they are. Not their gender. And I'd fall in love with someone regardless of that.

And maybe I might believe in reincarnation. And maybe I might believe that I've been men before, as well as women. And that there's residue left over from the man things I've done. But I do know that I am a woman, and that that's not going to change, but in a way, I sort of expect it not to matter to anyone who loves me if I were to suddenly become a man. So I have always asked them... would you still love me if I were a man? The first time I asked that question, the person was like "Ew, no!" and that confused me... because deeeeeep down, past the surface, past the joking around, and the giggling about it... I coud tell he was serious, that he really wouldn't have loved me... and I honestly didn't think love had anything to do with that.

But I've been told that I am naive also...

[Badtranny]

But I've been told that I am naive also...

I am totally mesmerized by your posts. You are an original for sure.

Gender isn't between the ears or the legs, it's in your being. You feel it just as naturally as you feel anything, I was born right-handed and living life as a man was like learning to write with my left hand. It can be done, but not very well, and you should see me write now. ;-)