starting therapy

[cdsara]

We are starting therapy tuesday. I am not sure what is going to happen and what to say to start it all off. I know I should be honest but I dont want to freak out the therapist and maybe try to keep her on my side also. I am not sure if they will pick sides but I know everyone forms an opinion upon hearing something for the first time.
All I know is that I really want to work this out with my wife. I love her so much!
Any input from those that have gone through counseling with there So would be appreciated.

[StephanieT]

Don't worry about freaking out the therapist. They have heard it all. Be honest. The therapist has an obligation to stay neutral and help you work through it.

[Kelly DeWinter]

Therapy is about talking about things in a controlled environment, not about keeping a thearapist on anyones side. The idea is to find out what you and your spuse want to accomplish while in thearapy. be honest, including expressing your fears and concerns with and about the therapist.

Keep us posted

Huggs and best wishes

Kelly

[Alberta_Pat]

If you have a chance, take a few minutes and write down some questions that you want help finding the answers to.

Also, make some notes about what you want to achieve with the therapy. Keep these in a journal, and you will be able to track your understanding of the process, and know how your feelings are changing.

Best wishes for a successful result.

[Rachel Flowers]

Good luck. It's natural to imagine all sorts of things, like the therapist taking sides, but once you get in there just be honest. Therapists have seen everything before and are used to staying neutral. And you don't have to start it all off, the therapist will be more than prepared to do that.

[cdsara]

well we went to therapy tonight and after sitting out side the office for 20 minutes we figured out she is still on vacation and never called to tell me she was extending her stay. I was not happy at all and I was all emotional because I was ready to bear my soul and now I couldn't. I thought my wife was going to break down and cry.

[Alberta_Pat]

Don't forget to charge her for a "missed appointment".


That was very "unprofessional".

[Shelly67]

Therapy in all its different forms requires one thing .
Cards on the table time .
Believe me .... it's hard to open up sometimes , but don't be at all surprised if once you start , then flood gates will open . You may also find it exhausting - but that is good .
Be strong people .....reward yourself with one notion right now - you both wish to correct any misunderstandings , thats why you've asked for help .
Applaud yourselves and go for it .............

[cdsara]

well first night of therapy, I laid all my cards on the table and told nothing but the truth. we will see where it goes from here. the therapist has actually dealt with this before and was supportive and very helpful. He opened my eyes to many things I had never noticed about my past. Now we are to discuss things and meet again next week.

[Shelly67]

If I may reflect on my own experiences a little - I know its totally different in situation , but the newness of attending such an event is very similar in essence . Did you find it rather strange , slightly shocking on how some issues were brought foward , ones you probably did'nt realise existed ? Its amazing how these trained , proffessional people are able to break down certain barriers and engage us in alternative thinking , seeing things from a totally different point of view . It can be emotionally and physically exhausting , and at times frightening and frustrating , but one thing is certain , clarity eventually shines thru . At times , you'll probably sit there , chatting away deep in youre own private momentum , and in response almost feel a wave wash over you , leaving you feel almost strangely dizzy , rushing ,refreshed , a little lost , but enlightened . It was described to me as breaking down those "stuck points "
The basis to my own situation was different to yours , I found things very odd , how the start of the sessions began with me speaking of my past as a boy , how I grew up . I questioned myself so hard on why that had to come out , but now realise it was part of a begining to search for greater things and stability. I personally , in my own experience found those moments very emotionally moving . Almost numbing , crying sometimes in relief in the session and especially on leaving as my personality was opened right up . For me , I am so selfishly grateful I stayed on par , trusted my counselor , let her guide me through those troubled times .Iv'e really choked up right now typing this . I feel so humbly grateful
Enough of me - this is for you guys .
People with the greatest warmest intentions in life can sometimes be a little lost in misunderstanding one another , we get a little lost . If therapy helps to maintain a communication in a different light then that is the most positive start anyone can wish for . I consider it takes an awful lot of strength to stride foward and chase that goal . One things for sure , its a time reflective of one anothers sincerety and love for each other - you are both trying to gain a point of total understanding .
That deserves a very "well done " to you both , its certainly not easy but shows just how strong you really are . And considerately brave . Its very hard to face ones hurdles in life .
I hope over the coming weeks ( even if things become intense and difficult ) that together you can find the understanding youre considerate characters deserve , common ground gained , and then the ability to move on in this emotionally difficult time of youre lives .
I wish you all the very best , congratulate yourselves in each baby step you take no matter how small , be kind to yourselves ......and please believe in this one thing . Its far better to try attain those goals of understanding rather than sit still , let things become stressfully stale , stagnate and then become possibly fatal in ones relationship .
Bless you both . I truely feel for your situation .
In a moment of sincerty , may i wish you both all the very best ......
GOOD LUCK XXX