I tryed but couldent

[erintemp]

I've been out a couple of times (walgreens with a gg and CVS alone) and thought I was ready for the next steep. I did some resurch on cd friendly restaurents in chicago and found a bunch in boystown, so I picked Ihop. All week all I could think about was going to dinner with a GG friend dressed. So saterday mornning I wake up shave go to the salon in drab to get my eyebrows cleaned up, come home and polish my toes and put on some french tip nails. I straightend my hair and did my makeup three times befor I was happy with it. I went through all my clothes befor I found what I wanted to wear. My GG friend showed up to pick me up, we got into her car and went to Ihop and sat in the parking lot for forty minutes and I couldent get out and go in. I was so scard I was shaking my hart was going 900 mph, at one point I went numb so we went home. WHAT A WAST of a day!!

[Piora]

Look at it this way.....this was a step further than you have ever gone before. So what if you didn't get out of the car....next time, you will. Rome wasn't built in a day. Have patience with yourself.....you will get there!

[GBJoker]

Wasn't there a quote about this... Like... "Great men didn't become great by doing big things. They became great by doing all the little things..." Something like that. Jeez, and I'm supposed to be the historian...

But anyways, you made it to the parking lot. And out of the house. Which is farther than I've done. The point being, you're doing better than you give yourself credit.

[erintemp]

In my hart I know you ladys are right, and my GG friend keeps telling me the same, but I'm so mad with myself. all week I had a hard time falling asleep, I would start thinking about dinner at ihop. I even moved my schedule around so I would have nothing to do on saturday.

[Jonianne]

You will get there. And it wasn't a waste, it was practice before the real thing! Never, never, never give up!
Give your GF a hug and thank her for all her love and support!

[Rachel Flowers]

You'll be ready when you're ready, sweetie, we all take it one step at a time, and you've gone further than many of us! Yes, top marks to your GF for her support and top marks to you for each little advance you make, as long as you're moving the in the direction you want.

[Diana Bain]

Erin, try not to be so hard on yourself. I've been out a few times and for me it's still nerve racking, but I'm not giving up. May'be try a bar and find a quiet corner where you can relax...good luck. Diana

[Marissa333]

Hopefully the anxiety will pass, and you will be going everywhere en femme. It's gets easier, but take it at you own pace. if you rush it and you're not ready, you might end up having a bad experience that could keep you from going out again. And none of us want that to happen

[Jamie-Lynn]

It is not easy building up that confidence to step out of your car. Been there before, also been angry with myself for the same reasons you are with yourself. But I eventually after about 3 more attempts made it. Just takes time, everyone gets there at their own pace.

[PretzelGirl]

And you just went further than some other people that want to get out. We are all different and we all have different steps we have to take to get where we want to go. This was step one. If you want to continue, there will be a step two. Maybe try taking some of the long term planning out of it. You built it up for quite a while and it may have increased your anxiety. Maybe try getting up and deciding then and there it is time and see how it goes.

[Melody1985]

Look at it this way.....this was a step further than you have ever gone before. So what if you didn't get out of the car....next time, you will. Rome wasn't built in a day. Have patience with yourself.....you will get there!

^^^This. All the girls are right. You will get there.

[Sam-antha]

It can be so difficult, those first steps. My biggie was an overnight in an hotel, booked in as meself all ok. But fgs, the next morning for breakfast I could hardly get out of my room. But I was hungry. Should say that I was totall en femme without a stitch of male clothing. It was a case of "had to" go.
Next time try a supermarket car park. I really do not think you would have enjoyed the meal that you missed, you would have shaken soup all over your skirt.
~Samm

[Danni Renee]

Erin,
I think you did good. You are still further along than me. Though I have driven dressed a few times I am not ready to make the steps you have already taken. But I know I will get there in time. Just like you will step in that resteraunt the next time. Good luck.

Danni

[tracigirl_tv]

Erin, one step at a time, sweetheart.

Years ago, on Halloween (of course) on my first time out, I drove a couple of hours to a CD-friendly club. I sat in that parking lot for a long time, heart beating. I could easily imagine myself driving home without ever having gotten out of the car (though eventually I did get out and venture into the club). Next time, you will take the next step.

I hope you've talked this over with your GG friend, and I know you appreciate her support.

Keep us posted, gf.

Hugs,

Traci

[oliviarub]

you're doing good.and eventually you will overcome this.it just takes a little more will and voila!
and you'll find out that most people will not say anything or even look at you.
lucky to have a gg go with you so try again when you feel like it and it'll be ok.

[Barbara Ella]

Please dont think it was a waste of a day. you shaved. You got to go to the salon. You did your nails. You got to put you rmakeup on several times, and you got to go through all your clothes. So you didn't get that last important step. Sounds like the day as a whole was an enjoyable one. Gives me hope for my development. Looking forward to getting to where you are. You will go out, and sooner than even you can expect

Babes

[Cindy M]

You're making progress. The first few times I went out, I would drive my wife shopping, but stay in the car. My big moment was getting out & pumping gas, after she went in and paid. It was maybe trip 3 or 4 before I ever went in a store. I've only gone out 8 times, but my last 2 have both been to a crowded mall (last was Black Friday). It gets easier, and more fun & exciting. Keep taking steps... it's a journey, not a destination.

[johanna.kitten]

Small steps... Be patinent, it will happen and then it will be so much easier. It took me many years, and I do remember it well the day I finally got there. Now I can with comfort travel by public transtport here in London en femme. I often use my long black Versace fur coat as it covers some of the more obvious... Hold in there, you will do it and then there is no turning back, which is a great thing.

/Johanna

[erintemp]

My big moment was getting out & pumping gas, after she went in and paid.

that is exactly what we did on the way home.

[QUOTE=Baby Steps;2675818]Please dont think it was a waste of a day. you shaved. You got to go to the salon. You did your nails. You got to put you rmakeup on several times, and you got to go through all your clothes. So you didn't get that last important step. Sounds like the day as a whole was an enjoyable one. Gives me hope for my development. Looking forward to getting to where you are. You will go out, and sooner than even you can expect

That put a smile on my face, I didn't think of it this way. Thank you!

Maybe try taking some of the long term planning out of it. You built it up for quite a while and it may have increased your anxiety. Maybe try getting up and deciding then and there it is time and see how it goes.

I think your on to something here, the other times it just happend for the most part.

[stacycoral]

Look at it this way.....this was a step further than you have ever gone before. So what if you didn't get out of the car....next time, you will. Rome wasn't built in a day. Have patience with yourself.....you will get there!

You will get there. And it wasn't a waste, it was practice before the real thing! Never, never, never give up!
Give your GF a hug and thank her for all her love and support!

These ladies are right, you will do it when your ready, take care, hugs

[SusanCACD]

Wow, such wonderful encouragement and advice, you ladies are truly wonderful!!
Susan

[Piora]

Even although I am heavily closeted, and have never gone out dressed beyond the confines of my home, I feel for those who are bravely trying to step out into the sunlight. I can only imagine how difficult those first couple of steps must really be, and so I yell encouragement to them from the sidelines!

[PamelaHowit]

Only go at the pace you want to. On the other hand just do it. I remember the first time with my partner egging me on. Now I go out to parties wearing all sorts of things from Burlesque outfits to nothing more than Lingerie. Once you've managed the first there's no looking back. Just go and enjoy!

[kerrianne]

Hi there....we all have experienced the same anxieties the first time. The first time for me was also with a gg and after all the butterflies have settled just stepped out of the car and went into a resteraunt and was greeted hello ladies. I didn't care what people thought I knew who I was and happy. Needless to say the waitress got a big tip. Go for it and be happy

[Rachel Morley]

Hi Erin, ... well we've all been there girlfriend so don't feel bad. Mine was at a nail salon with my wife. I went in but immediately walked out ... anyway I'll tell you that story if you want to hear it. Back to you ... it's only normal and it's especially normal at your "stage of development" by that I mean that you have only just started going out. Your GG friend sounds so wonderful. Having a supportive and encouraging GG with you can't be underestimated. So, just like others have said, don't worry about it, take one step at a time, and perhaps try a different place. My first time going out to a restaurant was one in the LGBT area of town, gay bars are also the same. Going to a place that you know that being "read" isn't going to be a problem is what you need to get some confidence first then you can go back to the place you were't able to before when you're good and ready.