I went to a small new and used clothing store yesterday. It was loaded with all sort of goodies for reasonable prices. The problem is the store is very tight quarters, I was shoulder to shoulder with other shoppers and was getting "the stares" from them.
I wanted to try some stuff on but felt too uncomfortable so I left with buying nothing. What a drag, I hate cowering down because there are other shoppers around me and then getting that uneasy felling. But its a new day I will try again.
Teh more the geeral public sees us, the quicker trhey will get used to us.
Like I'm often fond of saying, "The more common place we make ourseves, the more comon place we'll become
the only advice i would have for you , is to go into these stores when its less busy..go on there when the store opens , or closer to the time it closes.
wendy
I'm extremely thin-skinned. I melt into a puddle if I ever attempt to look at women's dresses, makeup, stockings/pantyhose in a department store. On the other hand, I can walk into a lingerie shop, and buy anything in there, because at most times of the year, I can pretend it's a gift for my "wife".
"Taking the time to be in touch with my feminine side"
Carry a list with you and look at it as you check tag sizes...quite common this time of year. Tis the season!
It gets easier the more you do it. I now go and buy panties, bras, tights, pantyhose, yoga pants, etc., without a problem. I could care less what some stranger thinks. What I think of myself, and what my family thinks is all that really matters to me.
Life's too short to not be enjoyed! Live each day to the fullest!
I was talking to an SA and she said she hates it when cders are fake with surf like that because they know we need help, but won't do it if you are pretending its not for you. SA's see crossdtessers all the time.
The situation I had was the SA's seemed fine with me in the store and everybody knew that I was shopping for myself. I wouldn't say its for someone else anyway but I just didn't feel the courage to hold dresses up to myself at the mirrors with other GG's right beside me or ask to use the small busy change rooms. BTW - I'm a big dude, 200lbs at 6'2" so I stick out like a sore thumb in there. I will get back on the horse today and try again... Here we go.Originally Posted by Kristen Krew
I agree with Kristen! There is no fake here! I buy what I want when I want it! Hugs!
If you don't like the way I'm livin', you just leave this long haired country girl alone:
I bought a couple of pairs of tights in my local supermarket less than an hour ago (I was in drab). When I was choosing them and then when I bought them at the checkout, I wasn't aware of any mutterings in the crowded store, the SA didn't refer to them and no "pervert alarms" went off. I think if anyone does notice they just assume they are for your GF or wife.
Nicola
I don't have the time, patience, or want the hassles trying on clothes in stores. Second hand stuff I don't like gets dropped off back there on my next visit. Mall/retail store stuff I don't like gets returned when I'm in their neighborhood next time!
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
Imagine how I felt when I made my first appointment for a MAC makeover in a local Nordstrom's. The makeover is done at the counter and I was warned by the SA that it might be busy that day. Did she understate that!!
Turns out it was a cosmetics event that day and ALL the vendors (MAC, L'Oreal, Lancome, and the rest were having specials. The MAC counter that would normally be staffed by 3 had 10 SA's that day. They had 8 makeup stations set up and all were busy when I arrived (dressed but with NO makeup on). There had to be 200 women there, shoulder to shoulder scouring the counters as I tried to find my way to the MAC area and the SA with whom I had an appointment. Then she sat me down between two women who were already having consultations and started asking about the type of makeup I wanted her to do. Now add to that the fact that my best friend (CD) was standing there taking pictures of the process as my wife roamed the entire area watching and giggling.
What's a girl to do? Well, I just had my makeover, bought the items I wanted, with MY credit card, thanked the SA and continued my shopping. After that day I don't care what the world throws at me...I'm ready!
I don't wear women's clothes, I wear MY clothes !
It may not seem this way yet, but as you get out more it does become less "stressful". What worked for me was believing that I had every right to be there that everyone else had. Now I say "excuse me" when I see something I like. It does get easier. As was mentioned above, start out going to the stores soon after openning or near closing as there will be less people.
If someone is scanning you at close quarters, just say your sister is handicapped and you buy for her. They'll think you are the man they missed out on having.
this. a buyer has no gender... only cash (or credit card lol). don't feel uneasy; that's their trick to get the best items. don't let them!
(btw Cheryl loved your story! you showed them girl ^ ^ thanks for sharing!)
[SIZE="1"]It is fatal to be a man or woman pure and simple: one must be a woman manly, or a man womanly. — Virginia Woolf[/SIZE]
Come on girls relax and buy what you want. When women want things they just go get them. It can be for them or anyone, but men seem to think someone is going to think that they're gay. Well I always say just because you think it doesn't make it true. There is nothing wrong with being gay but I am not. I enjoy looking and buying whatever I need or want. I think to my self that GG's can't have all the fun. And plus I am carrying my purse with me. I am not afraid anymore, I lost my fear. I you want to kill me go ahead at least I was doing what I want. If you are laughing go ahead, it is not only funny its fun. I dont mean you girls I mean those who are afraid to do anything out of the ordinary.
So come on play ball. Swing away and hit one out of the park. If it is easier try shopping out of your own neighborhood. I think I am in girl mode even in drab. I have to have fun and you must know why. Girls just want to
Tess
Just own the place you have every right to be there! A thin skin will not do any of us any favors. Learn to hold your head high and do whatever needs done with confidence. The only way to get there is by doing justy that, it gets easier as I do it more.Fear is a crippling thing for all of us.I like what Contessa said, its a fact.
The more the merrier!! I love crowds! Just makes shopping more of an adventure when you drag a bunch of unwilling bystanders along for the ride! Lol.
I understand your painJust take a deep breath and spend your $$$ on what you want! It's a busy time of year, so you could be buying for anybody. Enjoy!
Cary
Tis true tis true --as Karren said the more the merrier, bsides,when every one is busy doing there own stuff they pay less attention to you..............Debra
A lot of helpful responses here. By all means, if a crowded store freaks you out, go there at quiet times; every store has them. Ditto for focusing your shopping before Christmas (Valentine's Day is great too), and you can reinforce the impression by asking about gift receipts and boxes.
Probably the biggest tip I can offer is that your feeling of sticking out and being disfavored by other shoppers is 90% in your head. Most people are too polite to make any kind of scene (what if they're wrong and you're just a GG with an unfortunate figure and facial features?) as long as you behave normally, and the stores/employees are glad to take your money without making you uncomfortable. In fact, they may go a bit out of their way to put you at ease hoping you'll be a repeat customer. As others have said, women's clothing retailers, wig shops, shoe stores, and others see CDs all the time. To the vast majority of such merchants, we're just customers, and the customer is always right.
Had a makeover at the Macy's Dior counter during DLV. That broke the ice & it was great fun.
Maybe going with another CD/TG can make it easier? I feel more comfortable shopping enfemme when with another CD/TG with me.
Elana
Call them and ask when a good time would be for you to come it. There might be some times that are slower than others. You might tell them you would like to try a few items on too. I'm sure next time they will make you feel more comfortable. Some SA's can make even a difficult experience fun.
Dana Ryan
I am also 205 and 6'2". I have seen bigger and taller. Going to the store is like sex, the more you do the more you want it.
Hugs,
Kristy
If you happen to have one in your area, you could go to a boutique, consignment shop etc. that advertises itself to your local gender community as being "trans friendly". Sometimes they are willing to let you come in after hours or so have privacy (a few stores I know will have a special opening in the evening for members of the local trans group to come in and shop without other customers there.)
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