Busy stores and feeling uneasy

[Melanie Sykes]

The feeling I get about others when I'm shopping for bargain ladies' clothes is they are either realising I'm looking to buy for myself, or that they think I'm looking to buy some really cheap stuff for my wife and that I must be a terrible husband. I'd almost prefer them to realise the clothes are for me! I must admit that since I found this forum nearly a year ago, my self-confidence in this area of my life has increased hugely, and now I can fairly comforably sift through the bargain rails when there are other people there too. Often, when other ladies are looking through the same rack as I am and their husbands are standing awkwardly nearby, shifting from foot to foot, I just grin to myself and feel I really have the upper hand. It's women's clothing - who can not enjoy it?!! Also, I know that my brother-in-law's father-in-law (whew!) buys all of his wife's clothes because she hates shopping. At least, that's what they told me when they were here on holiday. Maybe he's a CD too - I'll never know because he lives in Oregon and I'm in the UK. But Prissy Girl, my advice to you is that if you are going to shop, then look like you belong. Nervous men are conspicuous when looking through women's clothes. Before you go into the shop, take some deep breaths and tell yourself that you have every right to be in there, and that what's more, doing so shows everyone that you're far braver and reasonable than the vast majority of the male population. As long as you look like you *want* to be there, no-one will look at you twice.

[crossdrezzer1]

once my wife and i went to a busy dress barn,, i made my selection and the sales girl just went up to me and asked me if i wanted to set up a changing room,, i was in drab so not sure how she knew but i said yes,,, when i finished trying i bought,, wife said a man seen me go in the changing room and once in he looked shocked and said theres a crossdresser in there,, every one looked up at him and said nothing,, he looked uneasy after,, guess his big mouth made him hated in there,,, without words it seemed all the ladys were on my side the wife said,,,, so really no one cares but they do care if your a hater,,,

[Stephenie S]

Stop, stop, stop, with the stupid excuse stories. I know you think you're the only one. It's easy to do that.

But listen. EVERYONE who works with the public has seen or experienced a crossdresser. OK, almost everyone. It's just not that big a deal for a SA or cashier to deal with a crossdresser. It's just not. They have heard EVERY silly excuse you can come up with already, and they have heard it more than once.

And for goodness sake, everyone is not looking at you with hate and resentment. They may be just LOOKING at you, for goodness sake. Smile at them. You can go where you want. You can shop where you want and buy what you want, whenever you want. The stores WANT you there. They WANT your money.

Relax.

[Claire Cook]

I'm with the majority here -- go for it, even if there are crowds! The more we feel "shame" or "anxiety" or whatever, the more others will sense that. If Macy's has a crowd at the discount racks, I'll break the ice -- if someone is looking at a really cute top, I'll tell her that -- or ask her opinion about what I am looking at. Everyone is there for the same reason -- trying to find that good deal that looks good. So enjoy being part of the crowd! Who cares if we get a stare or two -- I'm happy to let 'em know that we are out there!

[PaulaDallas]

I'm afraid we all tend to think that we're the center of the universe. Those other shoppers aren't remotely concerned about us, unless they feel that we're in their way. They are concentrating on the merchandise. If they seem to be staring, ignore them. In 40 years of shopping, I have never had an encounter. Good luck!

[Nicola2876]

I think its easy to say "just get on with it. No one cares" but it is frightening if you are self concious and feel that people are staring. Ive felt like that but I always prefered busy stores to blend in and be noticed less. Over the years it becomes easier and now I have the so what attitude but i took ages for that to happen.

Take your time and try to enjoy looking and shopping as its supposed to be fun. The more you do it the quicker you will feel comfortable doing it. I love buying clothes now as its a way to feel feminine and like one of the girls.

[Barbara Jo]

Nobody cares what you purchase, absolutly nobody!

Consider this......
When I was in grade school (Jr high in the very eary '60s) I needed a "jock strap" for phys ed.
I was absoloutly paranoid about going into a store to purchase it and thought everyone would be staring at me, looking at my my purchase.... a male Jock strap being purchased by a male.

However, at this point, I was already routinely purchasing bras, panties, and other female aticles without any qualms at all!

So, whatever problems one has in purchasing female aticles is in their own head.

[stacycoral]

some people just have a problem, with you looking at woman clothes, for me it is not do that i have three daughters, and pick up what ever they need when i am in town, so, trying on clothes is something else. I just know my size and hope it fit or maybe hand it down to the girls. Good luck and don't give up,

[Piora]

In support of those of us who are thin-skinned about shopping for women's items - please understand that everyone's personality is very different. Some of us here have said that they don't care whether someone's looking or not, and that SAs are used to crossdressers. Well, that's fine....but think of some phobia that you have (unrelated to CDing) and other people can't understand why you would feel that way.......Hmmm? You see what I'm getting at? Possibly, I may change my thought process someday, and grow a pair (gonads...not boobs! lol!) but as for right now....it's online buying for me.

[Eryn]

I understand exactly what you are talking about. I've had exactly the same feelings. All I can tell you is that it gets easier with practice and you will eventually find yourself comfortable in situations where you weren't before. It's a growing process, enjoy it!

[Launa]

I understand exactly what you are talking about. I've had exactly the same feelings. All I can tell you is that it gets easier with practice and you will eventually find yourself comfortable in situations where you weren't before. It's a growing process, enjoy it!

Hi, since then I am learning to come right out and enjoy it, as a matter of fact I went back to this same store and there was nobody in there except the owner. I asked her if she was comfortable with me in shopping around in her store. She said no not at all and if there are any customers that have a problem with me then they can leave. So I actually tried some things on in the change rooms and she told me to come out of the dressing room and show her so I did. I bought 125 bucks worth of stuff and I will be going back. Woo Hoo!