My Wife found a Pair of my Leggings........

[Mindy More]

It was totally my fault. I was wearing them the other day and decided I wanted to not wear them with my dress when I was in the living room. I guess I tossed them somewhere on the couch??? I gotta find out exactly where she found them.
Anyway it was last night that this happened (Saturday 10th).
I was in the bathroom when she came up to ask me about the white sweater leggings of mine that she found. I litterally sh*t a brick LOL - I was in the right place for it. Not only was I in a vulnerable position while sitting on the pot. But she had my leggings in hand in front of me. I had no choice but to claim them. She didn't seem to totally believe me. I really didn't know what to say. She asked if they fit me and I said "of course they do, they fit many body sizes - you wanna try them on??" I really couldn't believe I had just said that. She didn't want to and since the kids were still up she didn't get all crazy on me and I was so sure I was gonna have to tell her everything. I could see she thought they had belong'd to another woman - I guess sorta in a way right.
Nothing was mentioned the rest of the evening even after the kids went to bed. Actually we didn't talk much about much. I had things to prepare for so I was busy in my process that I always do every saturday eve. When we went to bed she mentioned something about wearing my leggings to bed. I forgot what I said, but it was some little joke.
I had totally forgotten about the incident as I was busy all day with an event I was at. When I went to take my shower tonight I saw the leggings on my dresser (i put them there the night before, to stay in view) I put them on and went downstairs to show my wife I was wearing them. She thought I was squeezing tight in them, still thinking they belong'ed to another woman. I assured her they fit me well and that they were mine. But she totally thought I was seeing someone else in our home. I may be closer to having to tell her about everything soon. Good news is, I can wear my white leggings around the house
baby steps

Luckily it turned out well, so far. It's still a little soon, but I think I dodged another bullet. Hopefully it's not a boomerang

[DanaR]

I think that I would be talking to her fairly soon. There are probably all kinds of things going through her head, not knowing the truth.

[Shelly67]

I'm amazed you didn't confess all to her from the moment she discovered youre badly hidden secret .
Which ever way it goes I hope you can sort this misunderstanding out for everyones sake .....
GOOD LUCK.

[Rachel Flowers]

This may be the ideal time to open up conversations about not only your dressing but also all the other things you're both avoiding with each other. Don't delay, but be careful and recognise this may be more serious issue for her than if you were having an affair or it might not.

[SweetPea_GG]

First off u say u gotta find out where she found them...does that even matter? Second I think now would be a great time to sit down and talk with her. It's probably long over due.

[minna_xxxx]

You never know how wife / girlfriend is going to react. My wife told me that an affair with another woman would have been a smaller evil than crossdressing. I was very surprised about that.

[Mindy More]

@DanaR - I know I'd like to get talking about things. Timing just seems to bad to throw this at her.
@Shelly67 - My secret is still mostly hidden. It was my fault for not putting my leggings away. I totally forgot about them on/near/around the couch. But I was ready to spill everything to her if I needed to. I still am if she asks further questions. I just know it'd be some kind of shock.
@Rachel Flowers - Your probably right. I know there is alot of other things we're avoiding talking about. Deep conversations are timing with us. Everytime we're about to get into one, something interupts us.
@SweetPea_GG - Not really, she said behind the couch. But I was never behind the couch and I would toss anything behind there cause the kids play there. So I'm thinking it was behind a cushion maybe but I'm unsure. I do agree that a conversation is overdue.
@minna_xxxx - Her reaction is what scares me. She has told me that an affair is the worst thing in the world, cause her dad did it.

I was kinda surprised that she was waiting for a good time to discuss her questions. My wearing the leggings tonight, created that discussion. But she seems content with my claiming ownership of the leggings as my own. I do have odd habits and have worn sports type tights before, kinda like thermals. But these are def feminine. I made sure that she knew I knew they were for women and that I got them for myself. She's got this "water off a ducks back" thing. But I am running possible things I will say if she wants to pursue more information from me about it. I won't lie about it but I'm not going to totally tell everything unless she asks or it's necessary.

[prettytoes]

When my wife found out, she saw a small bit of pink sticking out of one of my "hiding spots" It was a sports bra. She began a mad search and found everything. We had a long talk, lots of tears, and I told her everything. Ever since then, things have been far better. I am able to keep my toenails painted, wear panties 24/7, sleep in nighties, and I lounge around the house in yoga pants and capris. Granted, our children are out of the house, so I have a bit more freedom. She has only asked that I don't wear a skirt or dress in front of her, but she knows I have them.
She very well may be thinking that you are having an affair; it is the obvious conclusion. You would be far better off to tell her the truth. Good luck with whatever you decide!

[Kathy4ever]

You are lucky last year my wife threw mine away. She never said a word about it but they are gone. This year might try again. Yesterday I wore my tight yoga pants with a boot cut to them with my fur line bootys. She pinched my butt but didn,t bat an eye. I think she is getting used to me wearing fem pants and fem tank shirts. I just wanting to get the nerve to wear my jeggings next.

[Renee W]

I would plan on talking to her ASAP. If she found one item, she may be inclined to look around the house a little more carefully, so you may come home one day and have a forced conversation. Best to do it on your terms.

My conversation with my wife occurred when I got home from work one day and she had found all of my stuff. Thankfully everything turned out OK in my case.

[Shari]

It's been almost three years for me since coming out to my wife.
She didn't find any of my things, but the coming out was predicated on her thinking I was having an affair. The dressing I'm sure, was a far less evil and although it took her awhile, she came to "accept" Shari.
Do the talk quickly. Don't allow anything to fester.

[jillleanne]

So you are going to allow your wife to spend each waking moment from here on in wondering who you are seeing behind her back, lying to her about another woman possibly, and pretending the too tight tights are yours and trying to convince her by wearing them around the house? You call that "lucky"?. I would say lucky will be if she is not getting her financial house in order before she tells you how 'lucky' you are to be out on the curb, alone. I don't think she is very lucky to have to wonder what is going on. I don't think she is lucky to have to disrupt her day to day life thinking about you and exactly what is going on. I don't think you think too much about what your relationship with her means and how valuable it is to you, if it is. Why would you now, knowing what she knows, allow her to go through the agony of questioning her complete relationship with you from day one? Understand, I am not trying to be mean to you in any way here, but rather, maybe help you understand from her perspective what she is probably going through and make you think of the impact it is having on her and how she may be hurting as a result of your not telling her the complete story. Between you and me, in my opinion what you are doing to handle this is not doing your relationship any favors and probably destroying it in the long run. Sit down with her and spill the beans in an intelligent, calm way slowly, if the relationship is worth saving.

[Rita C.]

I went through the same thing, I did not want my wife to think that I had another women in our house, so I came clean. that was 25 years ago now I have more female clothes in my clothet than my wife has in hers.

[gabimartini]

I may be closer to having to tell her about everything soon.

You MAY be closer? What are you waiting for? Why HAVEN'T you told her yet? Do you really think she's not thinking about it just because nothing else was mentioned? I'm pretty sure she hasn't forgotten the incident. I'm pretty sure she's thinking about it this very minute. Answer truthfully, what would YOU think if you found a pair of boxers in the living room that didn't belong to you, and your wife told you they were hers?

Sorry to be a bit harsh, but you may have dodged the boomerang this time. But fear not, it's coming back at you, fast and with full force. So, procrastinating is off, just sit down with her and come clean. After all, by being so careless and leaving your stuff around (especially with children living in the house), it seems that's what you wanted all along.

[Beth Mays]

You never know how wife / girlfriend is going to react. My wife told me that an affair with another woman would have been a smaller evil than crossdressing. I was very surprised about that.

My wife used those same words! In her eyes REAL men chase skirts not wear them.

[inori]

I also think it's time to let your wife know. Although I don't know if things will turn out to be better or worse, this is your chance.
I also think your wife is still pondering deep down inside even if she didn't say anything to you yet. You should tell her asap so that she doesn't suffer too much.

[Tina B.]

You didn't come clean, and left your wife thinking you may be cheating on her with another women, I'm confused, how is this dodging a bullet, it sounds more like you volunteered to stand in front of a firing squad. I would rather tell the truth, than have my wife think I would ever cheat on her, oh that's what I did, without waiting for her to catch me. Then all you have to do is convince them your not gay.
Tina B.

[linda allen]

My wife came home unexpectedly one day and when I heard the key in the door I made a mad dash to the garage to get her top and bra off. She found me and asked me what I was doing wearing her top. I didn't say anything. She asked me if I just wanted to see how it felt and I said yes. She told me to give it back to her and I did. I don't know if she noticed the bra or boobs.

A day or so later she brought it up and I told her I didn't want to talk about it and that's how it's been ever since.

This was before I found this forum. I realize now that I missed a great opportunity to tell her about my dressing and seek her approval.

For you, this is your opportunity. Don't let it go. Have a talk with her so she doesn't think you're having other women when she is not around. Tell the truth, then go with the flow.

[Jenniferathome]

Tell her now. Shell be relived you are not seeing someone. Crossdressing is not a lifestyle that you can leak out to someone. Have a sit down and talk.

[ReineD]

She thought I was squeezing tight in them, still thinking they belong'ed to another woman. I assured her they fit me well and that they were mine. But she totally thought I was seeing someone else in our home. I may be closer to having to tell her about everything soon. Good news is, I can wear my white leggings around the house
baby steps

Luckily it turned out well, so far. It's still a little soon, but I think I dodged another bullet. Hopefully it's not a boomerang

You prefer to have your wife think you are having an affair rather than tell her the truth, and you about this?

Have you considered what she may be going through right now, how devastated she might be feeling?

[Marleena]

Time for "the talk", nothing more to say about this.

[Kathy Smith]

Please, please, please talk to her about your CDing. It means one thing to you, but it can mean so many other things to her. I told my wife partly to avoid just such a situation as you've got yourself into.

Go and talk to her now. You can't really wriggle out of it by leaving her a note or anything like that. Things are moving. You have to tell her about your CDing, convince her that you aren't gay and convince her that you aren't turning into a woman - all at once.

You may want to show her these web sites:
http://cdsecretgarden.femmegetaway.com/body_index.htm is some support for women who have found out that their partner is a CDer.
http://www.transvestitelounge.com/ar...-crossdressing lists some common myths about CDers.

[Sandra]

So your over the moon because you can wear your leggings, but seem to think it that your SO thinks you're seeing another woman.

Instead of prancing around in the leggings sit down with her and come clean.

[MissMarcie]

but I think I dodged another bullet.

Sorry, but I don't think you dodged anything. My advice would be to come clean asap.
This is a ticking time bomb and you're about to catch shrapnel from it.

[Lorileah]

This is not going to end well. I see a train wreck coming and then "I didn't see this coming" post soon. Funny thing about things like this, they tend to grow and explode like a warm can of biscuits