What excuses do you use when shopping for feminine apparrel?That's bras, lingere,etc.

[Beverley Sims]

Saying I am a transvestite conveys I have the plague.
CD.. I am weird.
I just want to dress up as a woman.. Must be a pedophile.
Gay? Naah! not gay.
Doing it for a bet? "Your'e the sixth one today.
Going to a party, got to look good. Yeah! Ok.
"I'm a female impersonator." This has brought the most positive response for me and I always get questioned about all sorts of tricks that are used to look convincing.
I made my debut on stage many years ago at a club that had a competition on a Sunday night for aspiring Impersonators. They helped dress you and you mimed to records. How I was introduced may be another thread.

[Dana7]

Most of the time I don't say anything and the SA/cashier does the same. In the past, sometimes I'd smile and say "she always takes off when it's time to pay..." and make a joke about my imaginary SO that took off and left me to pay. Other times I used to nervously say they were for my girl/lady/mom/etc. But besides being not that believable, I felt uncomfortable lying about buying feminine items for someone else that I was trying to make up. Until I thought of a different way of approaching it.

Now if I do say anything it's usually something like:

..."If she doesn't like these can I return them?"

They always assume the "she" is my wife/girlfriend/SO, and answer with their usual return policy. I just smile and say "Thank you", pay and leave--no problem.

That way I don't have to lie. But what I don't reveal is...the "she" is ME!

[donnalee]

It's very simple; it's none of their business. You owe no one an explanation; frankly, just act as if there's nothing unusual going on, and they'll follow your lead. For the very few that don't, just hand them back the stuff (this is best done within earshot of their supervisor), and tell them you've changed your mind and that you prefer to take your business elsewhere. If the supervisor hears this, I guarantee they will intervene, as they want to show as much sales as they can and the employee will get chewed out (at a minimum). They need to leave their prejudices at home when they come to work.

[dominique]

None I just go buy. Simple.

[Jeanna]

I often get asked "Do you know her size?" and I reply "yes but more importantly, I know mine"

[Donniesr]

I've never had any problems with this. I've shopped at walmart, and even had to ask " where do I find thigh highs"...The young girl was very helpful, didn't ask and I didn't tell.. I did mention something about being a little embarassed with buying panties, bras and thigh highs,,and she said not to worry, theres nothing wrong with a man buying these items..I wouldn't worry about it, they just want the sale...

[IamToni]

I tend to go clothes shopping with my wife and despite there being two obviously different dress sizes the shop assistants never bat an eyelid. As my wife often makes a comment along the lines of "if it doesn't fit, you can always bring it back" within earshot of the assistant there is every chance that they know some of the items are for me! For some reason I get quite a buzz from this

[Beverley Sims]

I must intervene here, these were excuses i used some time ago although the female impersonator one gets used as it seems to encourage SAs to suggest more and be interactive and friendly. Some of the newer girls here may have some input. The rest of us have probably been there and done that.
There was no trouble with the guy at the cosmetics counter at Saks in San Francisco, he asked if I wanted some moisturizer on my face as it looked dry.
As the conversation degenerated I asked him if he was gay and he replied "Only since I was 6 dear". We were both watching the reactions of onlookers. No one was shocked or hurt by the interchange, but we both had a good time with our amused audience. Saks is not the place for theater. (Theatre for UK residents)

[Melody1985]

I shop online most of the time, (which has not been much since im still relatively new) but when I do go to a store, one of my strategies is to act completely ignorant about female products. For instance, when I bought my only dress so far, I was looking around in that department, when an SA came towards me. I said "excuse me, I have no clue about these sizes, can you help me out?" At this point, I try to explain "her" measurements by either saying "she's" maybe just a little bigger than you, or with my hands, I map out what I believe her size is. It worked!

But what I have done the most (twice) is take in something, which is supposedly "hers" and ask an SA to match it up to the correct sizes. It's also a good discreet way to get style advice I found in both experiences.

But it's probably true that most won't care anyway.. But for me and others I'm sure, it still feels awkward.. So much so that it's best to keep the truth to yourself. We're not all so fearless or confident. Especially in the beginning.

[Karren H]

if they want to know or if I feel the need to tell them up front I just say "I crossdress".. Has never been a problem..

[Cynthia Anne]

Excuses! No! If I did I would say I wear SIZE 38-C! Do you carry these panties in my size! Size 6! Hugs!

[Michaela42]

Depends on the SA. If they seem to be open-minded I will just say that the items are for me, and maybe add a nervous laugh. It breaks the ice and can usually lead to a nice conversation. If the SA seems uptight or unsure of how to react I ask if "She" can return the items. It will usually defuse a tense situation and allows everyone some chance to interact and escape. I really do not like to back people into a corner if I can avoid it; and I certianly do not want to see anyone make a scene or to loose their job. Besides, being flexible never hurt anyone.

[Renee W]

Don't care anymore, if I want something I buy it. My money is good whether I am buying dog food or a bra. It's not their business what type of dog I have or how many, so why should it be their business who I'm buying a bra for?

[Launa]

I did the excuse thing for years, it works after all who's going to challenge it? Now a days I'm saying F-it, as long as I don't know the person then I come right out and say they're for me. It gets easier after the first time and sets a fast tone for the rest of the conversation

[gender_blender]

You shouldn't need to justify spending on anything to anyone, but if asked, I say "It's for me." However, I look very feminine all the time, so my response is never surprising.

[LeaP]

I've never had to say anything, but then, I've had my wife's assistance with sizing. The return question can be genericized: "Can this be returned?" - something I always ask when buying sale and clearance merchandise.

Lea

[jsmith9213]

Usually, I'll ask, "Can she return them if they don't fit?" That works well, but recently I found a great merrywidow that I had to have. I took it to the counter and the sales girl looked at me (6-2 & 260), and said that she thought I'd look cute in it. I replied, "Well, I was thinking about adding fishnets and some nice heels" which made her giggle and she thought that would be a good idea.

[Tina B.]

I guess I just don't shop in nice enough stores. I never get asked things like that, seldom get asked if I need help, I browse, find and buy what I want, and when I get to the checkout we never talk about what I'm buying, other than price checks, why should they care who it's for, and I see no reason to discuss my personal life with strangers.
Tina B.

[brenda b smith]

well i say wifes birthday. christmas is the best excuse date nite with wife and anniversary oh i still use all the lies I evan put a b.day card in my basket and goes on top when cashing out at register . good thing i have friends like you i dont have to lie to

[kimdl93]

I don't make any excuses - and other people's opnion of me is, as a wise person said, none of my business.

[SallyS]

I've got the best excuse this time of year 'it's a present for the wife' or 'I have 3 girls at home', both true.

So I'm half buying for them and half buying for me. I don't feel so self conscious about it then

Any other time, then thank god for on-line shopping! I get embarrassed when I'm with my wife in the ladies department, even if it's NOT for me!

[Stephenie S]

For goodness sake, guys! You don't need excuses to spend money. Jeesh!

You have a perfect right to buy anything you want at any time. No one cares anyway.

Remember, SA (or anyone else who works with the public) have seen it all and heard all your silly excuses a hundred times already. They don't care. They WANT your business and your money.

Making up silly excuses only exposes your own guilt and shame to people who have heard it all already.

S

[Kaz]

I've never said anything, but I have always bought clothes for my wife anyway - presents usually, but also on request... where she knows what she wants. I am usually pretty cool about it. Sometimes the SAs emphasise the size, but that is because many men buying for SOs get the size wrong! I don't think I have ever said who anything was for!

[Anne2345]

For goodness sake, guys! You don't need excuses to spend money. Jeesh!

You have a perfect right to buy anything you want at any time. No one cares anyway.

Remember, SA (or anyone else who works with the public) have seen it all and heard all your silly excuses a hundred times already. They don't care. They WANT your business and your money.

Making up silly excuses only exposes your own guilt and shame to people who have heard it all already.

S

Exactly! The first several times I shopped for myself, it was quite difficult. It gets much, much easier with experience. Moreover, not that it matters anyways (money is money, after all), you may be surprised how much SAs appreciate not being so obviously lied to.

[MsCheriMarie]

You are giving them cash - they should not care and if they do ask say "my strap broke on mine and this is my favorite!"