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Thread: OK Cupid shenanigans

  1. #1
    posh texan miaTX86's Avatar
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    OK Cupid shenanigans

    As a bit of a lark, I set up an OK Cupid profile, identifying myself as a bi-gg. Last night I received a lot of messages from boys and chatted with a few (flattered that my 10 pictures passed). They all assumed that I was a bi-girl and after brief chat, I used my bisexuality as a means to ask them about their thoughts. Although 2 of them identified as straight, they admitted being curious, which I used as a segway to let them know about my status. Both of them were totally cool with it...lol. I think a lot of these straight guys (aside from being a little overly frisky), are looking for a girly girl, even if you are genetically not a girl.

    Anyone else have similar experiences?

  2. #2
    Gold Member Cynthia Anne's Avatar
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    I find that quite interesting! However I don't think it's right for me! Just be careful and don't get yourself mixed up into a situation you are not comfortable with! Hugs!
    If you don't like the way I'm livin', you just leave this long haired country girl alone:

  3. #3
    posh texan miaTX86's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cynthia Anne View Post
    I find that quite interesting! However I don't think it's right for me! Just be careful and don't get yourself mixed up into a situation you are not comfortable with! Hugs!
    Thanks. I am just talking online right now. Pretty sure that I am not totally interested in going out with a guy anyway, but the attention is fun.

  4. #4
    Momarie GG Momarie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by miaTX86 View Post
    As a bit of a lark, I set up an OK Cupid profile, identifying myself as a bi-gg. Last night I received a lot of messages from boys and chatted with a few (flattered that my 10 pictures passed). They all assumed that I was a bi-girl and after brief chat, I used my bisexuality as a means to ask them about their thoughts. Although 2 of them identified as straight, they admitted being curious, which I used as a segway to let them know about my status. Both of them were totally cool with it...lol. I think a lot of these straight guys (aside from being a little overly frisky), are looking for a girly girl, even if you are genetically not a girl.
    Anyone else have similar experiences?
    You advertised as a bi-girl and tricked boys into answering.
    How old did these boys say they were?
    Because men would correct you if they were referred to as boys.
    [SIZE="4"]Momarie[/SIZE]

  5. #5
    posh texan miaTX86's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Momarie View Post
    You advertised as a bi-girl and tricked boys into answering.
    How old did these boys say they were?
    Because men would correct you if they were referred to as boys.
    I am not sure if I tricked anyone. A bi-girl, by definition is interested in men and women. I consider myself more a girl, than a gay or bi male when dressed, and fully advertised my desire to talk. Judging by their reactions, after my disclosure, they did not have a problem with my status.

  6. #6
    Momarie GG Momarie's Avatar
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    What does he consider?
    [SIZE="4"]Momarie[/SIZE]

  7. #7
    posh texan miaTX86's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Momarie View Post
    What does he consider?
    What does that mean?

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    Quote Originally Posted by miaTX86 View Post

    Anyone else have similar experiences?
    Nope, I don't play those games online

  9. #9
    The 100th sheep GaleWarning's Avatar
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    Sounds deceitful to me. And an on-going theme in our posts is NOT to deceive others, be they our SOs or unsuspecting people on-line.

  10. #10
    posh texan miaTX86's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by clayfish View Post
    Sounds deceitful to me. And an on-going theme in our posts is NOT to deceive others, be they our SOs or unsuspecting people on-line.
    I guess there are substantial differences in degree, but I don't really see how this is harmful+deceitful. IMHO, flirting with some guy at a bar/club is far more deceitful than chatting with someone for 5 minutes and then revealing your biological (not mental) status. It isn't like I am pulling off my panties and yelling, surprise!

  11. #11
    Member Brynn_A's Avatar
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    I do agree there are degrees. I do frequent a site. On there I have been very careful to fully explain who and what I am in my profile. For me, it saves answering a lot of questions as well as the inevitable hatred that will come from the wrong guy.

  12. #12
    Previously GraceAnne
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    Quote Originally Posted by miaTX86 View Post
    I am not sure if I tricked anyone. A bi-girl, by definition is interested in men and women. I consider myself more a girl, than a gay or bi male when dressed, and fully advertised my desire to talk. Judging by their reactions, after my disclosure, they did not have a problem with my status.
    I'm sorry. IMO, you did trick them. You are NOT a girl, whether you identify MORE as a girl, or not. Regardless, talking/flirting online or in person with no intention of going forward is called a tease. Nobody appreciates a tease. IMO, a guy who will be attracted to a bisexual GG may have a little more openness (or uncertainty) in his own sexuality. So, not really a guage in what a straight guy would be okay with.
    Last edited by J'lyn GG; 12-20-2011 at 05:11 PM.

  13. #13
    posh texan miaTX86's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by J'lyn GG View Post
    I'm sorry. IMO, you did trick them. You are NOT a girl, whether you identify MORE as a girl, or not. Regardless, talking/flirting online or in person with no intention of going forward is called a tease. Nobody appreciates a tease. IMO, a guy who will be attracted to a bisexual GG may have a little more openness (or uncertainty) in his own sexuality. So, not really a guage in what a straight guy would be okay with.
    Ok, well I suppose you are correct, but by that standard we are all deceiving/teasing every time we dress and go out in public.

  14. #14
    Member IMkrystal's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by miaTX86 View Post
    As a bit of a lark, I set up an OK Cupid profile, identifying myself as a bi-gg. Last night I received a lot of messages from boys and chatted with a few (flattered that my 10 pictures passed).....
    You have confirmed what I have always felt about online dating. Women get so much attention from men, that it gives them a better selection to choice from. Women have an advantage on Online dating sites that men will never have. It is too bad society standard and nature have weighted interaction among the sexes in this manner. A crossdresser interested in men can assume the role and take advantage of this, while a crossdresser interested only in women chances are less than a man's chances of meeting women that interests them.

  15. #15
    currents of electrostasy taís's Avatar
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    I took that as some kind of version of that "after-a-couple-of-dates-I'll-tell-him/her-that-I-crossdress" approach... which is the natural thing to do and don't hurt anyone, isn't it? ^ ^

    I also think you tricked them a little bit, but no biggie... guys tend to give girls more attention... but to be sure you'd have to set up a new profile, identify yourself as bi-gm and see if there's substantial change from this try. I believe it would, also the tone would be different... but who knows?

    (great that your pics passed. I mean, we knew that already, but that was a nice test indeed ^ ^)
    [SIZE="1"]It is fatal to be a man or woman pure and simple: one must be a woman manly, or a man womanly. — Virginia Woolf[/SIZE]

  16. #16
    Princess in the making SandraAbsent's Avatar
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    Maybe I'm just a little offended by the deception. As someone who is seeking a relationship with a woman as a woman, I find it critical to define who I am from the onset. I beg you please to consider the hurdles you set up for others by deceiving. With that being said, here is "My Self Summary" found on my OkCupid profile. Yes I dont get many responses, but at least I know the ones I do get are genuine.

    Well, I should probably get around to writing a "self-summary" shouldn't I? Lets get the not so obvious out of the way. I am a non-op transsexual woman. In other words, I'm a woman. I embrace everything about gender and love the fact that there are differences. Some people dream of a Utopian world where gender is fluid and androgynous. To me that would be a living hell, as I spent most of my life "in the middle," and now I simply love every aspect of being a woman too much. My personality is a roller coaster because I allow my self to feel emotions deeply, and allow myself the opportunity to articulate what I am feeling. I strive to be an open book and will let anyone read it, so long as they treat it like the serious piece of art that it is.

    Well that's me in a nutshell...read on my friend!
    Life inside the music box ain't easy
    The malots hit the gears are always turning
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    http://sandra-absent.blogspot.com

  17. #17
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    Stop messing with people's heads, you are a male, not a bi female. This is the problem with the internet, and people not being truthful.

  18. #18
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    There is a site I like where I identify as a crossdresser, which is fun for flirting etc. On a couple of other sites I identify as female. I am in a relationship so it's only online flirting, but its fun. IMO, if you don't intend to start a relationship, then it doesn't really matter what you tell them because, lets face it, they probably aren't being honest with you, either.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC] Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law.

  19. #19
    Member Marissa333's Avatar
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    I think everyone is blowing this way out of proportion. There is a tremendous amount of false information posted on dating websites. If everyone on dating websites told the truth right away, then most profiles would never get viewed to begin with. The difference here is, she didn't wait until the date to come clean. She came clean shortly after the conversation started, which means she had no intention of continuing the lie. I feel it's the equivilant to someone posting a picture of themselves from 15 years ago when they were young and skinny and passing it off as taken today. So calm down everyone, get pissed at her when she goes along with the ruse until after they start dating.

  20. #20
    Silver Member BRANDYJ's Avatar
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    To me it's just wrong to represent yourself as anything but what you are. You call it a lark...I call it deceit. No way to make this kind of a profile right. Sorry. Unfortunately, this kind of deceit is all to common on the Internet dating sites. I bet it's present even here on our great site, but to a lesser degree.
    There's just got to be a better way to get your jollies.

  21. #21
    posh texan miaTX86's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marissa333 View Post
    I think everyone is blowing this way out of proportion. There is a tremendous amount of false information posted on dating websites. If everyone on dating websites told the truth right away, then most profiles would never get viewed to begin with. The difference here is, she didn't wait until the date to come clean. She came clean shortly after the conversation started, which means she had no intention of continuing the lie. I feel it's the equivilant to someone posting a picture of themselves from 15 years ago when they were young and skinny and passing it off as taken today. So calm down everyone, get pissed at her when she goes along with the ruse until after they start dating.
    Thank you!

    Quote Originally Posted by BRANDYJ View Post
    To me it's just wrong to represent yourself as anything but what you are.
    Meanwhile, we are all wearing dresses...

  22. #22
    Member Marissa333's Avatar
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    The responses to this thread are frustrating me. I love that a people who were born with a penis, but are posting using a name like Rebecca or Crystal are angry about you being deceitful. These same people prolly were not born with these names, yet of course they are not being decietful by using them. If anyone were to see these same people in public dressed as a woman from a distance, would prolly say "there is a woman there in the distance". Isn't that also being deceitful? With this same logic, we as crossdressers when in public should wear a sandwich board that explains we are actually men, because to not make everyone aware we are actually men dressed as women is decietful.

    Then there is this whole description that everyone in our community uses to describe a person born female. Why be specific by describing someone as "gg"? If we as crossdressers are not to identify ourselves as "girls", then why do we specify genetic girls as "gg's"? Shouldn't they just be "girls"?

    This one killed me...
    "to me it's just wrong to represent yourself as anything but what you are". I am sorry, but unless you were born with female genitalia, or female reproductive organs you are a huge hypocrite. The fact of the matter is you are a man, but you are not representing yourself as a man are you? You are being decietful.

    Lighten up everyone. She is not selling heroine to children.

  23. #23
    Isn't Life Grand? AllieSF's Avatar
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    I am with Marissa on this one. Let us know how it all works out. You may just find a soul mate. I forgive you your sins.

  24. #24
    (formally Becca1125) Maddie22's Avatar
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    I agree with Marissa as well. I think there have been some major over reaction to what Mia is doing on the site. I've been on the site before, the only two options to choose in gender is male or female. There is not an option for crossdresser,transgender, transsexual, bi-gendered. There isn't even an option for queer or a-sexual under orientation.

    I feel like Mia selected the appropriate option for what she was given. She is appearing as a female, and that's the gender she picked. Just like if any of you were out dressed, and had to go to the bathroom, you would use the women's, because that's what you are presenting as.

    Besides which, it's an online dating community. While I know some people take it seriously, there are a lot of other people who don't as well. It's just having fun, and talking to people as the person you want to be.

  25. #25
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    It's unfortunate that we have one gender word, "woman" (or "F") to describe two different aspects of gender: the biological reality and the gender identity. If you are TS, then it is true you consider yourself to be female and using "F" to describe just your gender identity is accurate. But this is only half the story since it is not your biological reality, therefore there is an error of omission.

    I think it's best in your case to be more accurate. If you want to use a female identifier and since there is no other choice than "M" or "F" you can use "F" but you need to specify in your description that you are a woman born as a male. Or you could simply say you are a transwoman, preceded by your sexual persuasion: bi-transwoman.

    To do anything other than this is to lure someone by making them believe you are a birth female, just to see if you pass. If the shoes were reversed and I contacted a cute guy to subsequently find out he is a transman, I'd feel deceived.

    To those of you who criticize our members who have female names, no one is deceiving anyone here. We all know the bulk of our members are born male. And to take this further and consider whether it is deceitful for a crossdresser to go out in public dressed, it is not the same thing since he is not seeking romantic connections when he goes shopping or to a restaurant. Also, the majority of people who actually interact with CDers know they are talking to a male who is presenting as a female. There is no real-life reality online and so IMO the written word needs to be truthful.
    Last edited by ReineD; 12-21-2011 at 01:50 AM.
    Reine

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