Bit of serious stuff ....

[Sister Rachel]

We don't menstruate, fall pregnant or give birth. So we are just pretending.

Thoughts?

[RachelOKC]

...so what's your point?

What about cisgendered women who can't "menstruate, fall pregnant or give birth"? Are they pretending at being women?

[Eryn]

When I go to a restaurant I enjoy a meal without preparing it. That doesn't mean that I'm pretending to eat.

I'm expressing myself in the way I desire when I dress. No pretending there.

[Sister Rachel]

I don't know. That's why I'm asking what others think?

I'll check that out, Scarlet Rose! Thankyou Goodnight all for now x

[Julia_in_Pa]

I'm intersexed, I'm sterile, I dont menstruate and obviously haven't given birth.
I have functioning male genitalia, partial fallopian tube development and ovaries.

I've lived for over five years as my true self.

Am I pretending as well? See my point?


Julia

We don't menstruate, fall pregnant or give birth. So we are just pretending.

Thoughts?

[Tracii G]

I'm not pretending its just who I am.I quit trying to hide it.

[BRANDYJ]

I never pretend to be me. I am who and what I am. Two sides of me. No, I am not pretending.

[Cynthia Anne]

I got tired of pretending to be a male! Go figure! Hugs!

[Senneca]

fall pregnant? How does one do this? Does one simply fall down in a certain manner? How far must one fall to become pregnant? These are some of the questions this thread causes me to ponder......

[Babeba]

Crap... Now I have to be careful not to fall??

All teasing aside, I think it takes a lot of navel gazing to figure out where one is on the soectrum of gender and the spectrum of sexuality. I also think if you don't lose sight of where you are from and where you feel you ought to be, that helps too. I am a gg (cisgendered, genetically born female) and the only time I mind a bit of 'pretending' is when someone who cross dresses tries to pass themselves off as being a GG. I mean, really... Be proud of who you are, not who you wish you had been or you'll waste so much time and energy on bitter regret. For example: one of our members, Zenith, has recently been sharing her journey with FFS surgery on the TS board... And she just knocks my socks off! She looks so pretty , and if she were to try and tell everyone now she was really a GG (especially on this board where we are all in this together, I totally understand how stealth can be safer and easier for transwomen) I would be mad... More because that denies the very things that make her who she is as a whole person, and as a woman. Fortunately Julie isn't like that, she knows who she is and where she is coming from. That awareness is key.

[Beverley Sims]

Angela,
Welcome to the group,
There are a lot of varied answers here.
Work your way back through the last 200 threads and you might find something that was not covered.
Steer away from the philosophical questions and just ask please How do I do that successfully.
Help and good advice is out there.
I am having fun spreading graffiti everywhere and I am also a newbie.
Don't give anyone a reason to pick on you.
Above all don't get serious YET!
To answer your question.
NO.

[Beverley Sims]

You have a street named after you in Seattle.
I stayed in a hotel there a couple of times last month. Quality Inn Senneca St Seattle.
I don't know how to fall pregnant, that would be the subject of a new thread.
I do know the best contraceptive is NO!
Uses a lot of will power or is it won't power

[suchacutie]

Pretending what? I can never be a GG, so let's get that behind us.

We are transgendered, and that's a broad spectrum, but what's common among us is that some part of our being is feminine. It's not pretend, it IS feminine. It's the way our brain functions. What we are doing is living out what our brains tell us is correct for us.

I believe that most here would agree that denying that femininity could be considered pretending, but that's about it in the pretending category.

tina

[Maria 60]

That's alright, but i am having a hell of a lot of fun pretending.

[countrygirl]

I do not considering my crossdressing pretending. I consider this a very serious and real part of me to dress as a female.

[Melody1985]

I understand the question you have.. But seriously, the word "pretending" was a poor choice of words to use in this forum. As soon as I read your question, I was sure I knew what the responses would be.

Fact is that most CDers are living out what they feel is their true nature or part of their true nature. Similar to how a person would give generously to someone in need because they are a giving person by nature. So CDers are just being themselves essentially. And you can not tell someone that they are pretending unless you can read their mind and heart. If you simply want to point out that males can never be a genetic female, then that may be different...

Now for those who do it for simple amusement ie. Halloween or for a drag show.. Those guys are pretending

[ArleneRaquel]

I know crossdressing is a very vital part of my way of life.

[Karren H]

I pretended to have a baby.... After I ate a mess of mexican food!! Damn babys smell!! Lol.

[Kari Lynn Franks]

I pretended to have a baby.... After I ate a mess of mexican food!! Damn babys smell!! Lol.

only you would think that up my wife swears that I have my week of the month.lol

[Karren H]

only you would think that up my wife swears that I have my week of the month.lol

Thought I had a baby bump going today but realized it was all the holiday food I've eaten! Lol.

[Barbara Ella]

Pretending may have been a poor choice of words. No one here is pretending. Pretending is what they are doing on that new ABC "comedy" about two female impersonator crap. We are living out what is inside of us, with no pretensions of grandeur. There may be a variety of levels of expectation within each of us, but I know who I am, what I am, and what I want to do, so I do it. It centers me it keeps me going. for that reason alone, I will continue to pretend to be happy.

Babes

[Jonianne]

I wrote a whole thread on the fact we are pretending. So.....yes!.....

I'm sorry to hear you are just pretending, Rose.

We don't menstruate, fall pregnant or give birth. So we are just pretending.

Thoughts?

I don't pretend like I menstruate, fall pregnant or give birth. So I guess I'm not pretending. I'm just being me, a guy who likes to identify with females by wearing some of MY feminine cloths.

[Marleena]

Uhoh here we go again.

I can't/don't want to menstruate because I'm a GM.

I can't/don't want to give birth because I'm a GM.

Finally I do not not know what it means to be a real woman because I'm a GM. I sure hope I'm not pretending because my brain keeps telling me to dress, act, and be myself which happens to be a woman without an instruction manual. I'm trying my best with what I have and don't have.

[Samantha_Smile]

Who the hell said anything about pretending?
I have no illusions of being a girl, and honestly, I am thankful I am not - From my POV, they have plenty of shit to deal with.
Im happy to just feel femme for a day, or is there a new rule I have to pretend now too?

I like the clothes, not the fantasy. It may be different from a TG/TS POV but from my CD view, no thanks
If the dress fits...

[KellyJameson]

I'm not pretending, I'm reacting and here is why.....


Question: What are the five most prominent qualities of highly sensitive boys?

Dr. Zeff: Approximately twenty percent of the population is highly sensitive and the trait is equally divided between males and females. In other words, approximately twenty percent of all males are highly sensitive, or one out of every five boys has a finely tuned nervous system.

A highly sensitive boy has trouble screening out stimuli and can be easily overwhelmed by noise, crowds and time pressure. The highly sensitive boy (HSB) tends to be very sensitive to pain and violent movies. He may also be made extremely uncomfortable by bright lights, strong smells and changes in his life.

The highly sensitive boy generally reacts more deeply and exhibits more emotional sensitivity than the non-HSB. However, the degree of emotional and physiological reactions varies in each boy.

Most sensitive boys tend to pause to reflect before acting and would not be considered risk-takers. This tendency can easily be understood as demonstrating a healthy caution.
The HSB is conscientious, sensitive to his environment, and socially aware of others around him. Although many cultures tend to categorize sensitive boys as being unusual or not normal, the trait is basically neutral.


Question: Do you think it’s more difficult to be a sensitive boy than girl?


Dr. Zeff: There are many more challenges for HSBs than HSGs (highly sensitive girls) due to societal values that males should be aggressive, thick-skinned, and emotionally self-controlled, which is the antithesis of a highly sensitive boy.

Most boys are taught from an early age to act tough and repress their emotions. Whenever boys do not conform to the “boy code” and instead show their gentleness and emotions, they are usually ostracized and humiliated. If boys express emotions such as fear, anxiety, or sadness, they are commonly seen as feminine, and frequently the adults and other children in their lives typically treat them as though these emotions are abnormal for a boy.

Given our societal norms, it may come as a surprise that one study showed that baby boys cry more than baby girls when they are frustrated; yet by the age of five, most boys suppress all their feelings except anger. The effect on males of having to conform to wearing a tough-guy mask creates suffering on both a personal and societal level and is particularly devastating for the sensitive boy, who has to try harder than the average boy to repress his emotions.

Since the eighty percent of non-HSBs are hardwired neurologically to behave in a different manner than the twenty percent of HSBs, highly sensitive boys do not fit in with the vast majority of boys. As they grow and become socialized, they begin to see their innate gentleness, emotionality, and tendency toward overstimulation as abnormal and wrong.

Question: Could you give us five ways our boys can use their sensitivity to their advantage?

Dr. Zeff: In my study of thirty sensitive men from five different countries, all of the HSMs (highly sensitive males) in my survey indicated that throughout their life they “usually” or “always” have been: creative, compassionate, intuitive, gentle, responsible, a peacemaker, and good at counseling people. HSBs share these traits with such famous highly sensitive males as Abraham Lincoln; the great psychologist Carl Jung, Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart and with many of the great male spiritual teachers.

Sensitive boys have a proclivity toward deep spiritual experiences which helps them find peace and stability, as well as a stronger sense of their own value and purpose. When HSBs work in conditions that suit their sensitivity in school, they often produce better quality work due to their careful, creative, and conscientious temperament.

The HSB’s intuition and ability to notice subtleties in the environment helps strengthen their relationships. The HSB’s sensitivity may help them have a better tactile sense than non-HSBs, which gives an advantage when a delicate touch is needed such as performing tasks that require refined movement and dexterity. Sensitive boys also experience deep joy from their involvement in the arts and creative endeavors, such as listening to or making music.

In order for a society to function at an optimal level, there has to be a balance between the highly sensitive male (HSM) and non-HSM styles. While non-HSMs will be found among soldiers and chief executive officers of large corporations, and the HSMs will more often be counselors, artists, and healers, I think HSMs can function in almost any occupation so long as they do it their way, thoughtfully and without unnecessary aggression. The point is, societies that ultimately succeed and flourish are the ones that honor both the aggressive warriors and the sensitive advisers. The sensitive male has an important mission, which is to balance the aggressive behavior of some nonsensitive males who treat humans, animals, and Mother Nature in a callous fashion.

Question: Are there differences in the manner sensitive boys are treated in different cultures?

Dr. Zeff: While biological factors may influence the behavior of boys, what a particular society values is an equally important factor in determining how the sensitive boy is treated. For example, a study of Canadian and Chinese school children concluded that highly sensitive children in Canada were the least liked and respected, while Chinese sensitive children were the most popular.

The HSMs in my study from India, Thailand, and most HSMs from Denmark stated that they were never or rarely teased at school for their sensitivity which differed from the malicious and cruel taunting that many HSBs experienced in North America. Sensitive boys growing up in Denmark, Thailand, and India had less difficult experiences about participation in team sports than those from North America.

The sensitive men who were raised in India and Thailand were more likely to have more friends as boys than those raised in Denmark or North America, perhaps since most Asian countries are more communally oriented than the individualistic Western countries.

In countries like India and Thailand, where the positive attributes of sensitive males are recognized, the HSB is often given a leadership position, since others recognize his innate ability to help achieve the group’s goals. The sensitive male in many cultures has been recognized as an “intuitive priestly advisor” and has historically been granted special status for helping the community thrive.

The HSMs from Thailand and India and most of the men from Denmark reported that their teachers treated them with respect and kindness. This is in stark contrast to many of the HSMs who attended public
school in North America and reported that teachers frequently shamed them for their sensitivity.

Crossdressing for me is an extension of this sensitivity. It is illusion in response to reality