How do I ask for a feminine hairstyle?

[johnthefisherman]

Hello, I am partially new to crossdressing, but I definitely have another side that I like to express sometimes. Having lived decades without ever experiencing what women do, I'm somewhat left in the dark. So I want to get a feminine hairstyle with hair that is medium/medium-long. I'm not out, nor do I want to go in public dressed like a girl, or even try to pass, so how/what do I tell the hairstylist so I don't weird them out?

I don't know if it's best to have an idea to tell the stylist or if I should say "just do what would look good on me if I were a girl." Obviously I can't just say that, so how would I get that hairstyle without drawing attention by saying I want a girl's haircut?

Also, I'm planning on going to someplace like Supercuts, and not a salon that's all women. I don't even know if it's possible to get your hair cut in a feminine way, so that it looks feminine even right after taking a shower.

Sorry this is so long. Basically I'm asking how do I tell the hairstylist I want an obvious female haircut without embarrassing myself when asking?

[Rianna Humble]

As you don't want to go out as a girl, you could tell the stylist that you are looking for a more androgynous, less masculine style than you have at present

[Julia_in_Pa]

Your a man right?

Why not just ask for a feminine cut?

Sometimes it takes some balls not to have any.


Julia

[Vickie_CDTV]

If you have a transgender community in your area, you could ask them for the names of some locally "gender friendly" hairdressers. If they have experience with trans folks you will not need to be concerned about asking for a feminine hairdo.

[Imeni]

Eh. It's just hair. Here is what you do.

1. Go inside. Sit in chair.
2. Tell her that you are feeling adventurous, and want to break your comfort zone. To try something new that you haven't done before. So get her to do the most feminine looking cut possible, as you want to rock the boats of everyone you come into contact with.
3. When she smiles and does it, tip her big.

Problem solved. ;D

[Jonianne]

I go to the Haircuttery and have had the same stylist for over 3 years. When I first went to her with my longish hair and she asked how I wanted it, I just asked for a page style with bangs and she went to work.

I still look male enough that I have not had a problem with my hair being long at work or anywhere else. Even though I style it feminine every day (without accessories of course), it still tends to look maleish on me anyway, even long. It just looks like I keep it clean and nice, instead of the hippy look, so I wouldn't worry too much about styling it male for work and feminine other times. My page style seemed to work fine for me either way.

You can see my pic on my profile page. I cut it when my Angel was sick, but I'm letting it grow back out again.

[Anna Abwaerts]

Oh now you planted a seed in my brain
This wig that I have (my first) does not really work with my face, and I am wondering if other really will do, although I definitely will get some.

I have quite thick hair and hiding it beyond wig is a shame, and as I keep my hair rather long-ish there is lots to hide under wig and it gets hotty.

The seed is planted, as I said

[Renee W]

Try to find a picture of the hairstyle you would like. Just a quick google search for "hairstyles" turned up numerous sites with hundreds of style photos. Most hair salons will also have books or magazines with pictures of all the popular hairstyles.

My wife worked over 30 years as a hair stylist (owned her own shop) and you would always see some of the ladies sitting in the chairs reviewing styles, looking for what they want done.

[Barbara Ella]

As usual, Honesty and openness rule the day. As for the other follicle challenged girls here, we will just use a heaver concealer to mask the green monster creeping in and fluff the wig a bit more....lol

Seriously, the overwhelming thought here is the best. Straight ahead with head and bras held high...

Babes

[SandraAbsent]

Your a man right?

Why not just ask for a feminine cut?

Sometimes it takes some balls not to have any.


Julia

I was going to responde to this thread until I saw this!

[JessicaM1985]

Well I know you aren't going to get the hairstyle you want unless you have good communication with your stylist. This was true of me getting guy hairstyles, so I can only imagine it more so for a girl hairstyle since more work goes into it. Ditto on both being honest and tipping well. Eyes are blind to gender when they are filled with green.

[ashlylynn]

Simple - Just look in magazines for hair styles and colors your like
and take the photo to the stylist and ask if they can do it for you.

These days, there is not much variation in what is feminine or masculine
especially if you have straight hair.

[noeleena]

Hi,

What i would do is the same as asking about make up clothes . bras shoes or any thing to do with womens issue's just only with women thats all. in your case id ask for thier books on hair style's & ask the top woman what would suit you. colour shape & what ever youd like to have done.

as to reasons as to why , is up to you to say or not . you are paying for a service so you should expect that.

I have worked with women for years wether male or female no difference ether way. its not a problem

I would ask as you said what would look good on me as a girl.& dont go with wet hair or just after youv washed it, let your hair be as natural as it is normaly so they know what it looks like,

The other detail is if your going to do this often then you need to have a repore with your lady who your happy with working on you.
When i wore a wig i had our lady who did Jos 's hair do mine she was not bothered, & nore was i . tho i dont now & no hair so not a problem , its like this most woman dont care & its thier work so enjoy the time with them,

& ask how best to look after your hair as well. & keep it nice,

Hope it goes well for you,

...noeleena...

[Launa]

Your lucky you have enough hair to do this!!! I'm dam bald so I can't. There are many good suggestions here, my opinion though is:
1. Go to a smaller womens salon, sit down and be honest and say you want the most femmime style that she can give you. She will take your face shape into consideration etc.. and give you something flattering. If you do it this way the COMMUNICATION is VERY DIRECT and there will be absolutley no MISUNDERSTANDING as what is to be done. YOU ARE THE CUSTOMER!! Once you do it you'll see that is not a big deal at all. The hairdresser will probably be glad you were direct so she can do her job without any guess work!!!
2. You can go in and tell a lie but I don't recommend it because it is being chicken but if you have to...tell her you
lost a bet with someone and you need to get a real girl cut...
3. Your family has been nagging you to get a cut and now you're really going to show them!
4. Take in a magazine picture and say you saw the cut on a girl the other day just like this one in the pic and you want it like that.
5. If your town or city has a shop that does transgender people, then thats an easy way to do it.

I still think the more DIRECT with the COMMUNICATION is the answer to get what you want!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You and the hairdresser will have fun doing this so don't BEAT AROUND THE BUSH!

Enjoy and tell us how it went.

[PretzelGirl]

I would actually recommend not going to a place like Supercuts and go to a regular salon. If you find someone that gives you a cut you like, you will probably want to stay with the same person as long as possible. It just seems to me that the chains have a higher turnover and probably pay less, so you may not get the consistency that you want. Of course that can be true anywhere, but generally you get more when you pay more.

[Stephenie S]

Several people have already told you how to do this. It's no secret. But you have to do that thing that is so hard for lots of guys. You have to communicate. Just tell the stylist what you want.

"I want a more feminine hairstyle".

That's it. That's all.

I would echo the ones who say you might want to go to a regular salon rather than a discount chain. There you will get someone who will actually listen and who also wants you to come back.

S

[Marcyme]

I have had fem bob hairstyles for most of the past 20 years. I have seen many different stylists. Never had one reject me or act weird when I just asked for fem styles. I tell them it is just me being me and refusing to comply with the short hair and goatee crowd!
I agree, stay away from the chain stores. Look for local modern salons with younger staff. The younger girls have more fun with our requests.
When looking for a new stylist, I call a few soon and tell them I am looking for an fun, open minded stylist that would have fun giving me feminine styles. Almost every salon I have called here excited and says I have just the stylist for you! I will usually chat with them, and make .an appointment if I get a good feeling from them.
This is how I found my current stylist. I think she has more fun than I do! I have an appointment Saturday and she told me to plan on 3 hours, but won't tell me what she is doing. She says "you will look like a new woman!" So excited!

[suchacutie]

Hair? Hmmm, I seem to remember that concept and at one time my head was covered with the stuff!

But, seriously, pick a shop that looks a bit trendy and tell them that you want to have some fun and would like a completely feminine hair style that you can maintain easily (longish if that's what you want). Then ask her for some ideas. They should be able to show you some pictures of where he/she would like to go with your hair and then go for it.

And do give a significant tip. When you go back you will get treated even better.

tina

[BillieJoEllen]

I don't lie to my hairdresser(s). I told them how to cut it a long time ago and now when I go in I tell them that I'm just looking for ma trim and how much. Its a style that I can get to look feminine when I'm home or masculine when I need to go out.

[Sara Jessica]

I have had fem bob hairstyles for most of the past 20 years. I have seen many different stylists. Never had one reject me or act weird when I just asked for fem styles. I tell them it is just me being me and refusing to comply with the short hair and goatee crowd!

Overall I cannot fault you about your openness for so many years but I do wonder why not completely come clean about your motivations.

When looking for a new stylist, I call a few soon and tell them I am looking for an fun, open minded stylist that would have fun giving me feminine styles. Almost every salon I have called here excited and says I have just the stylist for you! I will usually chat with them, and make .an appointment if I get a good feeling from them.
This is how I found my current stylist. I think she has more fun than I do! I have an appointment Saturday and she told me to plan on 3 hours, but won't tell me what she is doing. She says "you will look like a new woman!" So excited!

...or maybe you are being completely honest and it just didn't come through in your first paragraph.

And what you said got me thinking. Perhaps we are kind of like the ultimate challenge for the stylist or makeup artist who is willing to enthusiastically take on a transgendered client.

[Marcyme]

Oh I am pretty open with my stylists

[Nicole Erin]

I would actually recommend not going to a place like Supercuts and go to a regular salon. If you find someone that gives you a cut you like, you will probably want to stay with the same person as long as possible. It just seems to me that the chains have a higher turnover and probably pay less, so you may not get the consistency that you want. Of course that can be true anywhere, but generally you get more when you pay more.

This is very true. As a stylist myself, I can second these statements. I would like to expand...

At a chain salon, they are being timed. They want clients in and out of the chair. In fact when stylists interview at a chain salon like Supercuts, BoRics, Great Clips, etc... One interview question, I kid you not is -
How fast can you cut hair?
Instills confidence doesn't it? The stylists at chains do not care what you look like. They hate their job at a chain salon.

Now at a REAL salon, you will pay more (I pay $30 for my haircut and I tip my stylist, a friend of mine, $10. So $40 and I don't ever regret spending it)
Thing is, when you find a stylist you like, get his or her contact info in case she moves to a new salon. The salon itself will try to keep you as a client but you want to stick with the same stylist you know and trust.

Professional stylists are not going to judge if you want a feminine haircut. They will work with you to find your best look.
At a chain, they just want to rush you thru so they can make time.

Also they will recommend professional products at even a real salon that they will use in your hair. I would recommend at least the conditioner and any styling products they might use like hairspray, rough paste, etc... Yes it is expensive but this is your LOOK we are talking about. Cheap products really do suck.

Everything i say above is not just speculation or repeating what I have heard, it is stuff I KNOW, have learned in school, and seen in action.

If you just want your hair buzzed off like most men, go ahead and visit the chains. If you want to look GOOD (especially as a woman) then find a good stylist.

[larry]

I was getting my haircut yesterday and opened this while waiting my turn. I could not resist showing it to my hairdresser. She
really chuckled and said "Did you reply and tell him that you just brought an article with pictures and talk about feminizing hair styles for men and showed it to me ? hahaha"

After the first 60 seconds when she decided I was serious the world turned perfect.. She now gives me a style I can use in male mode
or brush another way for fem mode. We have lots of fun chatting about it.

[Chloe Renee]

When I started to make transition I ran into this.

1. I bought a hairstyle magazine and marked a couple that I liked.
2. Next I called some GG girlfriends and got recommendations for a stylist.
3.Made and appointment and showed her styles from step one. After saying this " I live my life as a woman when out of work. I need a style that can work for either mode."
4. Sit back and relax knowing you are in the hands of a pro, heck while your there you might as well get your brows done.
5. Get styling advice and tips from your stylist, don't be afraid of small/girl talk.
6. Pay stylist, if your happy tip them well. If your not happy see if they can fixit. AND remember a bad haircut last only a few weeks before it starts to grow out.

[natalie james]

when i get my length back, im just gonna tell her i want swept bangs and layers! lol but you could try asking for a unisex do.