the transition from just dressing to makeup and wigs

[KiwiHeather]

Just wondered how SO reacted when you made the transition from just wearing the clothes and underwear toto when you started to dress and alter your appearance with make up, wigs, shaving legs, etc?

I assume while we are just "in clothes" we are still their husbands (albeit enough of a strain), but when you add the other 'trimings' the lines blur and the relationship can become difficult. At what point does the fetish (dressing up) become a trans issue? For most of us it doesnt become anything more than another layer of dressing but for some I assume it takes on a new meaning and becomes life altering.

Sorry if I have caused insult in any way , just curious.

H

[kimdl93]

wow, so many questions. Its been interesting for both of us. We've been blurring the lines for a long time now...over 13 years. I came out to my SO long before we were married, and started dressing much for consistently after the kids moved out. But its only been in the past 2 years that I've really put the whole package together. My SO did acknowledge that at first she saw me somewhat differently when I was fully en femme. Not necessarily in a bad way, but certainly different than the male image she first had of me. Over time, that has clearly changed...as she's gotten more accustomed to me presenting as female. Not too many months ago she "introduced" me to one of our neighbor ladies (without warning me in advance!).

[Kaz]

I 'transitioned' as you put it without asking permission... call me old-fashioned, but this is MY life. My SO tolerates this side of me but is not supportive... so what I do I do outside of her line of sight. I have no idea what she would think if she saw me full on as Kaz... I like to think it would be positive...

[Carol A]

For me it was after I retired and we moved and yes the kids were all gone. My wife knew before we were married and she would help me dress before all the kids came along.
I now dress all the time and if I don't she will ask me why as she has seen me openly dress in front of her for years. Now the sex life isn't what it once was as she told me she feels like a lesbian,oh well life goes on.

[Alice B]

For me it was preceeded with a full discussion with my wife, which made the transition much easier.

[Cheryl T]

There was no transition with us. She found a photo of me dressed and from that point she has always seen me fully dressed. Of course she's seen me in various stages while dressing, but it was never a just this or that to fully dressed in my case.

[Jennifer in CO]

I remember vividly the first time. Long before transition at college we had a dorm-mate who wore makeup like she troweled it on and eyeshadow in wild and bright colors from the tips of her lashes to the bottom of her brows. My wife (then girlfriend) made the comment one time upon seeing her that it was too much but she liked the color she had on that day. I told her "me too" and nothing more was said. The next day when I went over to her place she handed me a "present"... eyeshadow in the same color but then said "but I'm going to show you how to wear it correctly". Before I left that night she gave me a make-over. Anytime I dressed after that I usually wore makeup. It was a long time before I put it on myself...

Jenn

[PretzelGirl]

For me, it was a gradual thing. There is no wig as I have long hair. But each thing I did extra stood on its own and was a product of a discussion my wife and I had. There were no surprises and each advancement was a mutual decision.

[Karen 812]

My SO knew from the start about my crossdressimg, she has helped me from the begining with make-up and cloths, even now, 5 years later, she still helps me with everything.

[Barbara Ella]

I am a new cross dresser (4 mos) and newly out to the wife (1 mo) who is fully supportive. She has seen me progress from underdressing 24/7 to wearing total casual femme clothes and totally shaved, to dress up with fancy blouse and skirts and nail polish and lipstick. No wig or makeup yet.

The recent purchase of outfits freaked her out a bit, but she is fine if I just dont dump rapid changes too rapidly. She is very concerned about these advanced preceding a life changing transition, which she could not adjust to, no way. I know that is coming shortly, and I just need to keep her in the loop and aware of what is coming. She has said she is ready for the full femme, as long as it is not more than 50% of the time. She is fine with anything less all of the time. We will see.

Babes

[Eryn]

We sometimes have different perceptions of our dressed states than our SOs. I sometimes dress privately without makeup or a wig, but I don't like to appear in front of others in a "halfway" state. While I'm getting ready, fine, but I feel much better in front of her when completely dressed and looking like my femme self.

OTOH, my wife's perceptions are different. I don't think that she is so bothered by the "halfway" state as I am. She accepts me no matter what my appearance.

I think that the period when I was progressing to greater levels of dressing was stressful for her, because it invoked the question of "how far will he go?"

Every SO has a different perception. The best thing to do if in doubt is to ask her what she thinks. Both you and she will benefit from knowing for sure.

[Marleena]

Heather it's only been a few months for me since I accepted myself and started dressing all the way, and I have a fully supportive wife. I'm beyond the CD category already and now TG. The genie is out of the bottle for me, I'm obsessed with it and there is no going back. She is fine with it as long as long I don't progress to TS. We are actually closer because of it and I'm much easier to be around now. She won't accept me dressing fully every day, but it's close to that. She still needs to know her man is here. It must get overwhelming for her at times I'm sure. I know when to throttle back, and not put her out of her comfort zone. She has been awesome with it all.

[Melissa.Lynn88]

I just recently started to dress again after many years of not doing it. As soon as the feeling came back I began discussing the issue with my girlfriend. At first when I was just wearing clothes she was perfectly fine with everything. Then I started to want more and began to casually bring up the idea of makeup and wigs. At first she wasn't too thrilled with the idea but she was always supportive. Now I am dressing on a much more consistent basis and she is becoming more and more comfortable with it. She is still not 100% comfortable with seeing me fully dressed but she is getting better and I know soon enough she will. I think what has worked best for us is that I have had her involved from the start and she has been on this road of progression with, me rather than me hiding it from her. This way we are both understanding me and becoming comfortable with who I really am together.

[aprilgirl]

We got married later in life and I had been dressing fully for years. I told her early on in our dating relationship about my interests and there was a learning curve for both of us. She had me under dress on occasion to become accustom to the whole idea and visual of her boyfriend expressing his feminine side. Nine months later she saw me fully dressed and was actually quite relieved. Within minutes she realized that I was still "me" behind the makeup and wig.

[Launa]

My SO was ok with me purchasing the trimmings like wigs and stuff but didn't want to see me wearing them. She was only ok with a dress and shoes around the house. There were a couple of blow ups over the transition as you call it as I started to really push things. I went out one night for a make up lesson and when I came home she had said that was weird. I responded by saying oh I know I'm weird, I've got that part of me figured out. The next day she appologized for what happened. After that she has been helping me along with my girly things and at the same time I have been trying not to push it too fast but I do want to be doing more of it. I wish there was 1 answer for everybody that has to go through this.
The fettish might never become a trans issue for you but she will ask you more than once if you're sure that this is the case and you're sure you don't want to go full time. If you do decide to go 24/7 as a woman then it takes on a new meaning. My wife would want to see me no more than 60% man 40% woman which hasn't happened yet but if it does then I will be more than happy to live my life like that. For most of us at best it seems to be 2 steps forward and 1 step back.

[Jenniferathome]

My wife has only seen me in full female appearance. I prefer it that way.