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Thread: Outgrowing CDing

  1. #26
    Gold Member Diane Smith's Avatar
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    I think a lot of us have had similar experiences, Annabelle. We spend the first few decades of our lives wondering when this urge will go away, and finally just have to embrace it when it becomes obvious it is not going to dissipate on its own. For me, this epiphany occured shortly after I turned 40, and I decided to jump in with both (high heeled) feet, so to speak, at that time. I think that's the reason you see so many 40- and 50-something sisters posting online and in transgender groups and events -- we are more inclined to become visible after we have exhausted all hope that the behavior will resolve itself. Those who come to understand the innate and lifelong nature of being transgender at an earlier age have a tremendous advantage over those of us who struggled with it, and I think there are probably more young people now -- thanks to the Internet, other media, and changes in social attitudes in general -- who will not have to question themselves quite as much or for as long.

    - Diane

  2. #27
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    I always had hoped I'd outgrow or get past the cd'ing, but now at 59 I guess I'm resigned to the fact it's not going away.

  3. #28
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    I was definitely hoping i would outgrow this at one point then i got onto a big dexter kick and came to realize . He has his dark passenger he has to satisfy by killing , i have a pretty passenger i have to please by throwing on a pair of pumps and a dress from time to time .

  4. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by Diane Smith View Post
    I think a lot of us have had similar experiences, Annabelle. We spend the first few decades of our lives wondering when this urge will go away, and finally just have to embrace it when it becomes obvious it is not going to dissipate on its own. For me, this epiphany occured shortly after I turned 40, and I decided to jump in with both (high heeled) feet, so to speak, at that time. I think that's the reason you see so many 40- and 50-something sisters posting online and in transgender groups and events -- we are more inclined to become visible after we have exhausted all hope that the behavior will resolve itself. Those who come to understand the innate and lifelong nature of being transgender at an earlier age have a tremendous advantage over those of us who struggled with it, and I think there are probably more young people now -- thanks to the Internet, other media, and changes in social attitudes in general -- who will not have to question themselves quite as much or for as long.

    - Diane
    This is a good post, Diane. It would have been nice if we'd had the internet a long time ago. I know that I was completely on my own with this problem for a long time. I also hope that things will be easier for young people today. Just knowing that you have lots of company is a great comfort, and maybe they can come to terms with things a lot more easily than a lot of us did. Imagine if you could spend your whole life actually enjoying your dual personality, rather than agonizing over it. Whether the reality of the situation is better for them, I don't know. They'd have to tell us about that. But I'd like to hope it's better. I really wouldn't want anyone to have to go through what I've gone through.

    I recognize now that I indulged in some wishful thinking in the past. But when you've got so few options, I suppose you cope any way you can.

    Best wishes, Annabelle.

  5. #30
    Silver Member noeleena's Avatar
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    Hi,Elsa,

    Your last 4 lines is interesting to me.
    Basic laziness , lot of work , to get pretty not worth it & more work to stay pretty & all the other bits. & the last bit venturing out .

    wow. is it that hard. , is this every day,.....
    You & mamy others must have what i dont have,

    see if i can get this right, going out. wash or shower, light shaveing.

    Then get my skirt, top, shoes ,head wear on shoulder come pack pack bag lippy & eyebrow liner on . & with in 10 to 15 min's out the door & that will be every day if im going down the road.

    Gee i did not know it was that much effort. may be i missed something .. ooops may be being a woman is different.

    ...noeleena...

  6. #31
    Cat's Eye Siren ArleneRaquel's Avatar
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    I don't think that it ever goes away, it may be dormat for a while, but it will always be there. As I have gotten older my desire to dress enfemme as only grown, now I dresses enfemme better than 95% of the time.
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  7. #32
    Aspiring Member Kristy_K's Avatar
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    The only way I that I have ever seen people quit CDing was to either Died or Transition.

  8. #33
    Trouble.. Yep thats me Beth Mays's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kristy1997 View Post
    The only way I that I have ever seen people quit CDing was to either Died or Transition.
    Now that is the BEST post so far in my book!
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  9. #34
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    I didn't start dressing until my 50's, Annabelle. My entire life I've gone from one hobby to the next. When CDing stops being so much fun, or something I'd rather do rears it's head, I'm prepared to move on!

    If that day ever comes, I'll have the biggest garage sale anyone's ever seen!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  10. #35
    Platinum Member Eryn's Avatar
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    Have you ever bought bed linens, a comforter for example, that came in that neat little clear plastic zippered case? Ever try to put the comforter back into the case?

    That's a bit how I feel about crossdressing. I kept it compressed into a tiny part of myself for decades. Now it's out and expanded so much that it won't go back.
    Eryn
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  11. #36
    Future Crazy Cat Lady josee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eryn View Post
    Have you ever bought bed linens, a comforter for example, that came in that neat little clear plastic zippered case? Ever try to put the comforter back into the case?

    That's a bit how I feel about crossdressing. I kept it compressed into a tiny part of myself for decades. Now it's out and expanded so much that it won't go back.
    That's a great analogy Eryn.
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  12. #37
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    Your earlier thinking pretty well describes my own. I know there was a time between 19 and 22 when I thought I could just ignore this part of myself...and I did pretty well, until my wife suggested I dress up for a little bedroom play. With that little bit of encouraging my desire to dress came back stronger than ever.

  13. #38
    Gold Member Alice Torn's Avatar
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    It is no longer just a sexual high for me. My libido went south a few years ago. At first, it was a sexual fetish, for years. There were years, that i did not dress, but in my 40's and 50's. it greatly increased. Like Doc said, if there is something else that comes along, and replaces it, it could be greatly lessened. Humans are infinitely capable of adaptation, and change, so I believe a man can refrain from it, given the right circumstances, such as prison, the military, homelessness, starvation, etc. Or, being injured badly, in a care facility, roommates who would persecute. As a lifelong single, I find dressing up as a pretty lady, kind of replaces the mate i never had.

  14. #39
    The Girl will Out! Kaz's Avatar
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    I think the Eagles nailed it in Hotel California... 'you can check out any time you want, but you will never leave'...
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  15. #40
    Member Meg East's Avatar
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    I have become happier now I realize this is me, nothing to change, nothing to question, it is who I am and I don't see any reason to change. What I grew out of was the need to question myself.

  16. #41
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    Quote Originally Posted by kimdl93 View Post
    Your earlier thinking pretty well describes my own. I know there was a time between 19 and 22 when I thought I could just ignore this part of myself...and I did pretty well, until my wife suggested I dress up for a little bedroom play. With that little bit of encouraging my desire to dress came back stronger than ever.
    I had a very similar experience. Whatever chance I had of letting go of CDing forever (nil) became greatly reduced at that point.

  17. #42
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    When I was a teenager in the 1960's, I thought I was defective because I enjoyed wearing women's clothing. There was no Internet; no written material; nothing! When I was in military service I had absolutely no desire to dress, and, I never thought about it-UNTIL. Until I thought about getting married. Then the remembrance of dressing returned-not the desire. Was I gay? Was I a pervert? I thought the desire would not return. Well, being married to a very sexy young woman, who loved slinky nightgowns, I was a goner. The urge returned modestly. It wasn't until the stresses of life arose that the desire really surfaced. Now I really enjoy the inner peace being en femme brings me. Why does it do that? I don't know. At sixty plus I really don't care anymore. I'm sitting at the keyboard banging away in a Jean Nicole knee length aqua sheath dress, Smartfit aqua double layered slip, aqua bra and matching panties, hosiery, shoes, wig- everything. I feel wonderful. And, my mind set is total acceptance now. If I'm going to beat my head against the wall, it's going to be because I did not buy that pretty slip and not why I'm different.

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