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Thread: Outgrowing CDing

  1. #1
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    Outgrowing CDing

    Hello, everyone, and happy new year!

    This may sound a bit naive to some. I admit that in retrospect it sounds very naive to me. But there was a time in my life when I thought I might eventually "outgrow" the need to CD.

    I don't remember exactly what my thinking was. It was a bit incoherent. But it was more or less along these lines: because of my upbringing and experiences in life, I was very conflicted, which led to low self-esteem, which led to me wanting to dress like a woman. I don't think that makes sense, but it seemed to at the time.

    Anyway, I had the idea that as I got older and wiser, I'd gradually come to terms with all the turmoil inside me. I'd come to understand and deal with all the influences that had shaped me, and having attained the inner peace that age and maturity bring, my need to CD would fade along with all the old conflicts.

    This hasn't happened, of course, and it doesn't look like it's ever going to. I know now that CDing is as much a part of me as my hands and feet. But did anyone else ever have a similar way of thinking about their CD habits?

    Best wishes, Annabelle.

  2. #2
    Aspiring Member Carol A's Avatar
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    You know sometimes I to wonder why and will it ever go away. You see I dress almost everyday and now it has become very comfortable and common place. I dress apply my makeup and choose a wig for the day and go about my everyday life. There doesn't seem to be the excitement in it anymore just and everyday habbit which I have grow use to and it's just me and my way of life. No I don't believe I will ever give it up.

  3. #3
    Future Crazy Cat Lady josee's Avatar
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    Annabelle, I know that I had similar thoughts. I hoped and wished and prayed that I would grow out of it. At times I even thought I had. I am learning to accept that it is a part of me now.
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  4. #4
    Life is for having fun. suzy1's Avatar
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    If you listen to the more mature members here they will tell you it’s a life sentence.

    But I love it!


    SUZY

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by josee View Post
    Annabelle, I know that I had similar thoughts. I hoped and wished and prayed that I would grow out of it. At times I even thought I had. I am learning to accept that it is a part of me now.
    Quote Originally Posted by suzy1 View Post
    If you listen to the more mature members here they will tell you it’s a life sentence.

    But I love it!


    SUZY
    Yeah, I've accepted that it's for life now, and I love it, too. But some of us (as Josee testifies) at times have had the notion that it might go away. And isn't a nuisance to hope and pray that something that gives you the greatest pleasure in life will go away?

  6. #6
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    I guess my experience was a slow roll. I knew at 10-12 years old that I loved touching/seeing women's undies. I don't believe I actually wore some for the first time till I started experimenting and then slowly collecting my (ex)wife's castoffs 20+ years ago. Being separating now for 2+ years, I have finally started buying. I've never felt that I wanted the CD urge to go away. The good feeling doing it is too strong, and it is clearly who I am. I know that now, since when my kids aren't with me, it's 100% feminine attire at home a lot of the time. Always with a cover-up close at hand though:-) The kids were up to midnite last night, so I think I'm good for another hour or two:-)

  7. #7
    Miss Conception Karren H's Avatar
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    Well for sure when I was young... I never figured I'd get wiser because I already knew everything! Lol. But no.... Never figured I'd out grow it let alone escalate it like I have.
    Current Obsession - Breasts and Lingerie!

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  8. #8
    Silver Member Tina B.'s Avatar
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    Yes in my youth I thought I would outgrow it, then when that didn't happen, I was sure marriage was the "cure", so I got married, and it was the cure, at least for a while, then it started coming back, that nagging feeling that I just had to dress, now at almost 68, I've figured out it's here to stay, but at this point in life, that's OK, I would miss it if I did find that "cure", not to mention the waste of a great wardrobe!
    Tina B.
    Magic is the art of changing consciousness at will.

  9. #9
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    I have some friends that because of some serious trauma in their lives, they are able to supress it for years at a time more or less but it never leaves us completely. I do wish I could have been born this way in say another 75 years from now when society will be far more accepting of it. It almost seems we were born too soon. I played sports all my life and I was always ahead of myself in terms of any of the sports being 'up there' in popularity; badminton, curling, snow boarding, handball, etc. I did them all far before they were accepted as popular and most still aren't, and yet, many are far harder than say tennis or baseball. Oh well, sucks to be me. lol

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by suzy1 View Post
    If you listen to the more mature members here they will tell you it’s a life sentence.

    But I love it!
    SUZY
    Hi Suzy & Annabelle, It's like joining the Mifia you just cant quit.

    Orchid For Life

  11. #11
    Feelin' Girly KrystalA's Avatar
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    Hmmm, in answer to this thread I have a question. Why would you want to quit? For me at least, it brings joy and inner peace. Why would I ever want that to stop?
    [SIZE="3"][/SIZE]Life is what happens while you're making other plans

  12. #12
    Claire Claire Cook's Avatar
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    Outgrown? Heck no, it's ingrown!
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC] Proud member of the Lacey Leigh Fan Club

  13. #13
    Senior Member Barbra P's Avatar
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    Hi Annabelle

    I don’t think it was naïve at all and I think you were really on to something. I think you were absolutely correct that when we get older, more mature, and wiser that we will in fact come to terms with the turmoil that resides within and our need to CD will fade. I think that is a totally reasonable assumption and the fact that I’m 68 and at least three members of a local support group are even older than I am, one near ninety who dresses full time, doesn’t afford sufficient proof that your thinking was in anyway flawed. The real question is at what age we will attain this maturity and wisdom and will any of us reach said age?.
    Babs

  14. #14
    Time Lady JiveTurkeyOnRye's Avatar
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    I actually do occasionally have long periods of time where I don't feel much of a desire to crossdress, which I don't think is all that uncommon, but I know sometimes during these periods I start to worry, what if I don't crossdress ever again and I already told everybody about it and bought all these clothes, etc. But usually it's only a few weeks later that I find myself craving the feeling of wearing a skirt again and I'm actually usually pretty relieved about it.
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  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by KrystalA View Post
    Hmmm, in answer to this thread I have a question. Why would you want to quit? For me at least, it brings joy and inner peace. Why would I ever want that to stop?
    Well, there are reasons to stop. It would make life simpler in a way. But I'm with you: it brings joy and inner peace. But I'm talking about younger days when my mind was working in a different way.

    Quote Originally Posted by Barbra P View Post
    Hi Annabelle

    I don’t think it was naïve at all and I think you were really on to something. I think you were absolutely correct that when we get older, more mature, and wiser that we will in fact come to terms with the turmoil that resides within and our need to CD will fade. I think that is a totally reasonable assumption and the fact that I’m 68 and at least three members of a local support group are even older than I am, one near ninety who dresses full time, doesn’t afford sufficient proof that your thinking was in anyway flawed. The real question is at what age we will attain this maturity and wisdom and will any of us reach said age?.
    Interesting thought, Barbra. But if you're right, I think I'm going to have to be pretty old for any change to occur. At what age will I attain maturity and wisdom? The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind. Of course, there's also the point that right now I don't want to stop CDing. In the past, I could perhaps have done without it. But I've come to the conclusion now that it's too much a part of me, that it means too much to me.

  16. #16
    Gold Member Marleena's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by suzy1 View Post
    If you listen to the more mature members here they will tell you it’s a life sentence.

    But I love it!


    SUZY
    Suzy nailed it for me. You can try to hide it, try to deny it, but eventually it wins. It's a sweet surrender.

  17. #17
    Come and talk with me ;) Briana90802's Avatar
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    I think that in my youth it was more of a sexual thing that I had hoped I would outgrow. But now I'm realizing that, for me, it's a part of me as much as my career is, or the car I want to drive, or as simple as my favorite color. For me dressing is my way of feeling sexy. Kinda like standing tall can make you feel proud, or looking at the floor can make you feel depressed.
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  18. #18
    Slip Into Something Femme Piora's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by suzy1 View Post
    If you listen to the more mature members here they will tell you it’s a life sentence.
    It is a life 'sentence' - and the sentence goes.... "I'm a crossdresser for life!"

    Quote Originally Posted by Claire Cook View Post
    Outgrown? Heck no, it's ingrown!
    Ewww! Like a toenail?

    Marleena said:
    It's a sweet surrender.
    Hey, I like that! Says it all.....

    Seriously, I cannot imagine that it would not be part of my life. I think there will come a day (and an age) where I might be too frail to get into the things I enjoy wearing....but that day is not here yet, so bring on that new dress!
    Last edited by Piora; 01-01-2012 at 10:57 AM.
    "Taking the time to be in touch with my feminine side"

  19. #19
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    I had similar thoughts when I was in my 30"s and then again in my 40's and they came back again in my 50's and now that I am in my mid 60's quite frankly I stopped thinking about it. Besides I have so much invested in my clothes and in my shoes, I can't afford to give it up!

  20. #20
    My Ship has sailed? Barbara Ella's Avatar
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    In my short time in my new life I wondered if it would dissipate, and made the decision that I don't have time to stop this wonderful activity. And after reading the posts here, I couldnt even if I wanted to.

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    I may never get to fly like the other girls, but I do so want to dance, so I continue to climb.

  21. #21
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    from the title of a Doobie Brothers album "What Were Once Vices Are Now Habits." I don't plan on stopping, don't want to stop (not throwing 45+ years of CD'ing down the drain...lol)

  22. #22
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    When I was in my early 20's I was having a good time like a young male full of testosterone. One night I took my clothes into the back yard and torched them and it felt good. Well it came back and I have no desire to try and shove it under the rug again. That is like hitting myself over the head with a 2x4. If I want to get hit in the head then I will go to the boxing ring.

  23. #23
    Exploring NEPA now Cheryl T's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by suzy1 View Post
    If you listen to the more mature members here they will tell you it’s a life sentence. SUZY
    [SIZE=3]I would not call it a "life sentence" Suzy.

    It's more like the third thing you can count on ... Death, Taxes and CD... but more pleasurable than the first two.
    [/SIZE]
    I don't wear women's clothes, I wear MY clothes !

  24. #24
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    I think the consensus here is clear, and I'm in agreement with everybody else: I don't want to stop, I don't plan to stop, and I don't think I could stop (not without great cost). But what I was saying is that at one point of my life I thought the problem might eventually go away on its own--I might outgrow it, as I put it. And I was wondering if anyone else had ever thought something like that at some point of their lives. Some people have indicated they have, others the contrary.

    I suppose the main reason I was asking is that up until I discovered this forum, I'd never been in contact with other people like myself. So I was operating in a vacuum, so to speak. One thing I've learned here is that a lot of people have been through pretty much what I've been through. There's all sorts of variation all over the place, of course, but I've found that I have a lot in common with a lot of people. I'm not nearly as unique as I once thought I was, though I'm not sure if that's good for me or bad for you or what.

  25. #25
    Young Senior Citizen Elsa Larson's Avatar
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    Even when I've managed not to crossdress for months or years at a time, I still thought about it at least once each day.

    It's no longer fun for me to prance around the house in lingerie, hose and heels with a full crop of facial and body hair. IF I'm going to dress in women's clothing, I want to look as feminine as possible. Otherwise, I'll spend all my time in guy mode and only think about crossdressing.

    Part of this is due to my basic laziness. It's a LOT of work (many hours spread over a few days) for me to get pretty and not always worth the effort. It's even more work to stay pretty - keeping everything shaved, trimmed, polished and groomed so that one only needs to worry about getting the hair and makeup right before venturing out.
    What's between your legs and what you like to do with it is your business, not mine. Please give me the same courtesy.
    Everyone who refers to sexuality as a preference reveals their own bisexuality.
    I hope to live long enough to see a time when one's sexuality or gender identity is no more important than one's religion or politics.
    DO link up with your local support group. It's an easy way to meet similar people, help others, educate the public and be part of the political process.
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