I agree, and you can revel in the fact that you deemed her attention ...................DebraOriginally Posted by Lea Paine
I agree, and you can revel in the fact that you deemed her attention ...................Debra
I'd take it as a compliment. Looking at your face, I'd love to have those features. Maybe your en femme appearance is more feminine than that of a male, but, who cares. What appearance does the woman think is manly? Overweight beer belly? Balding? Short and squat? Hairy? It seems the younger generation of women think the young studs used as models at Abercombie & Fitch is the masculine look. Just keep her comment in mind. It may be a motivation to keep the body in shape with proper diet and exercise.
The comment had nothing to do with you. The lady was being a bitch to your wife for being with you, is all. Same as her walking up and calling your wife a loser, exactly the same. Haters gonna hate, but its ok because we rollin. A good response would have been "I love my man regardless of how he's dressed, and thank you yes he is very cute". That would have taken the wind out of her sails, I'm sure.
Last edited by Crysten; 01-03-2012 at 01:22 PM.
Crysten
"Addicted to Victoria's Secret".
If the woman had said to your wife, "Gee, he looks terrific as a woman", then it's a compliment.
What she did say was phrased to get a rise out of your wife. It attempted to bring out her fears that you are somehow less than other husbands present in the "manly" department. I'm not sure what this woman has against your wife, or against the two of you, but she is no friend.
What are the positives? You looked good enough to let her take the stance she did! If you had not come across well she would have had no ammunition and would have looked silly. The fact that you looked fantastic allowed her to prod to see if your wife was insecure and if she could start trouble.
What are the negatives? Only your wife can tell you. The fact that she said nothing worries me. Your wife is not secure enough to joke about it. Your wife could have shot this woman down on the spot by saying something like, "Yes, isn't she just fantastic!" or any other support for you giving the message that you and she have a clear solidarity. By giving no response, that woman understood that she hit a nerve and will likely continue to do so.
tina
I think that she meant it as a compliment but it would have been in better taste to not phrase it that way to your wife.
Hugs, Carole
Ok I'll be blunt. Too much nonsense going on here. What she said was "Your husband is a fag and you are a loser for being with him". This is classic underhanded passive-aggressive behavior that I think is more common in older women ... you know, shes probably told her husband to go piss off a thousand times without ever actually having said so. Younger women (mostly) will just tell you to piss off.
How should you feel about it, or more importantly, how your wife feels about it, well you should ask her because guaranteed, the insult wasn't lost on her AT ALL, which is probably why she was at a loss to respond, as you said.
Last edited by Crysten; 01-03-2012 at 01:47 PM.
Crysten
"Addicted to Victoria's Secret".
If anyone is wondering why I came to the above conclusion, I've seen this exact sort of thing a lot. My mom was sort of a black sheep to part of our family, and without fail one of my great aunts would insult my mom ... without *actually* insulting my mom. Same thing here, seen it lots. In fact, this situation here is just about a textbook passive-aggressive insult. Men never do this, is why I think most of the comments here misjudge the intent.
Crysten
"Addicted to Victoria's Secret".
Hi Katie, That's what I aways call a left handed complement.
Orchid
I agree with Crysten and Tina. Plus, the way she phrased the question, any response would have an assumed agreement with the conclusion that you look better as a woman. I don't think this was an accident. She was letting your wife know that you looked too good for this to be your first try at it. This is what may have been going through your wife's mind when she didn't respond. If she is willing, it might be good for the two of you to talk this through.
Wendy
That's one way to view it, and one that is a bit cynical. Another way is that, however indelicately it may have been said, you achieved the crossdresser's holy grail.
I have to say that I agree with all of the foregoing. Of course, the tone of voice, the look on the face, the gestures used when this was said count for a lot, but in my view the words themselves are ominous.
I don't quite agree with this. I myself have had this sort of sneaky insult from a man. It may be true that women do this sort of thing more often than men, but I wouldn't say "never" about the men.
I'm going to agree with Tiffany. It was probably an attempt to be funny, but also a statement of awe at how good of a job you did. But as others have said, the tone, posture, and your previous relationship with the woman are needed to tell. It is possible that it was a dig, especially if she said this without a smile or chuckle, and then left without otherwise making friendly smalltalk.
Take it as a compliment and you'll both be happy.
Take it as snide or a challenge and you'll be unhappy.
Which would you rather be? Nothing deflates a needler like someone who takes their needling as a compliment!
I think that I look much better as a female than I do as a male. After all, what can I do to improve my appearance en drab? Put on a different pair of black, blue, or brown pants or shirt? En femme, I have an endless array of ways to improve myself with clothing and makeup.
Eryn
"These girls have the most beautiful dresses. And so do I! How about that!" [Kaylee, in Firefly] [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
"What do you care what other people think?" [Arlene Feynman, to her husband Richard]
"She's taller than all the women in my family, combined!" [Howard, in The Big Bang Theory]
"Tall, tall girl. The woman could hunt geese with a rake!" [Mary Cooper, in The Big Bang Theory]
It does not surprise me at all the comment your friend made. Men in general are always uglier or plainer looking when compared to women. Why? Because women are designed to look better than men. Women are naturally more beautiful than men are.
Of course you look better as a woman, what man gets to wear makeup, cute outfits and lovely hairdos?
Women get to be pretty and feel pretty. That is what women are made for--being beautiful. That is what I think is part of the joy of CDing. Being able to be pretty and feel pretty!
Last edited by Dana7; 01-04-2012 at 06:02 PM.
Like many others here, I say take it as a compliment.
I think the most important thing said was by your wife that night when you got home. I have to say she has to be a really open minded and understanding mate that loves you dearly. And besides, who cares what a near stranger thinks about you anyway!.
I agree with the comments made by suchacutie. What you need to do is reassure your wife that your are the man she married first and foremost inside and out. Make sure she knows that your dressing is secondary to the commitment you two share. This witch put a doubt in your wife's head about her "life" decision. After you do that, take the woman aside and b**ch slap her
It's a fact that most men, even men who CD, do not spend nearly as much time or attention on their appearance or grooming when they are in public as their masculine form. Not to mention that fashion or style seldom crosses the mind of a straight man.
But, if you did,
You'd be wearing tight threads, nice shoes, masculine dark colors, have well-styled hair, smell fresh. How many straight men ever do this? Few.
well, I would interpret her comment as you are looking so good that you DO look feminine and that would be a hint that this is NOT THE FIRST TIME that you have dressed. How many guys could do that on the first pass? so, she may have been saying that you have been outed, and perhaps confirmed by your wife's lack of retort. catty comes to mind but I can't speak to UK manners as I've only been a visitor there. Are your eyebrows as nicely shaped as they are in the photo? Small tell-tale signs ol' chap.
Posting Permissions
