Oh Lord do I need some advice, and I need it quickly. I am at home. My wife will get home about 5:30-6 pm. Our 21 year old son just came by (he is in college about a half hour away). He wanted to drop off a letter, but since I was at home, we had a long talk. Here is the text of the letter:
Dear Mom and Dad,
I'm not exactly sure how to start this. I guess we've never been very good at the big talks, although that could just be me. Anyways, I think I'll go the cryptic analogy route.
Dad, you're a sailor. It's an inseparable component of your identity. You love sailing, and as an extension of that, you love your boat. You loved when you got it, but you've spent countless hours making it better because you want it to be something you're proud of.
At this point, you're probably only more confused, so I'll just say it. Your boat for you is analogous to my body for me, although I have yet to modify it. As for sailing itself, that's analogous to my gender. Here's what I need to tell you guys: as it turns out, I am not your son. I am your second daughter. I am a transgendered woman.
I'm sure there are plenty of questions flying through your head right now. I'll gladly drive home so we can talk about this face to face, but for now, here's some important stuff:
-I realized and came to terms with all this about two months ago.
-Ashleah, a few close friends, and Laura are the only ones who know so far.
-I'm starting hormones soon (hopefully). Finding an endocrinologist right now.
-I'm not a "woman born in a man's body." I'm a woman born with my body, which happened to have male sex characteristics. It just needs tweaking.
-My chosen name is Davinia. It's a female form of David, and shortens to Davin, which rimes with Gavin.
I love you both a lot. I couldn't have asked for better parents, and I can't wait to talk about all this. I hope you both take this well, and I apologize for being a bit out of myself for the past 21 years.
Love,
Davina
Of course I told him we would love and support him and tried to reassure him that things would be okay. No, I did not tell him about myself (he expressed surprise in the conversation that I knew so much about transgenderism).
I didn't tell him because I have no idea how my wife will feel about this. She has tolerated me, but never wanted anyone to know, especially our children. I told David/Davinia that I would give her the letter, but oh God I am not looking forward to the reaction. I am pretty sure that David/Davinia will be okay, but I am not sure what she will think of me.
What am I going to say to her?
Liz