Altough I have drove around the city dressing in femme, I never had the courage to go to a shoping mall or any other public places as Tamara. So today, since I am out of town for business, I decided to be strong. I painted my nails with a very strong red, wore a nice pair of black thights and I went shopping. I was in guy mode, with the exception of the nylons under my jeans, and my vivid finger nails in color red.
First, I stop at a Target store to buy a few things I needed. I was so nervous, feeling that everybody was looking at my fingers....
I almost went back to the hotel to clean my nails, but I was able to resist the panic atack, and finally went to the registers and paid my purchase without any problem. Obviously the cashier saw my nails, but she said nothing.
Next step, I went to a Payless to find a nice pair of shoes. Luckily, the store was empty, only the SA. So when I went to the Womens rack, she went with me, and asked me if I was finding what I was looking for. I told her that I was not sure about the size, and in a huge act of heroims on my side, I told her that they were for me, and that I wanted to try them on. My heart was pumping so fast!!!
She said, OK, and we pick the shoes that I wanted, take out my shoes, and then she saw my nylons, and my red toenails. Up to that point, I had my hands in my pockets, so she have not noticed before my finger nails.
The shoes did not fit me very well, so she started looking for other sizes, and other similar shoes. She spent like 15-20 minutes with me, until I found a pair that I liked. The SA was soooo nice all the time. I padi, and left the store very happy.
However, there was another pai I liled it, and that they did not have that one on my size, so I decided to go to another Payless. In the next store, it was also empty (almost a miracle in a payless in a saturday afternoon) so I started browsing the racks with my hands in my pockets. The SA stopped by where I was standing and asked me if she could help me any way. I told her that I was just looking, and she surprised me with her comment: she said: well, if you do not try them, wou will not know if you like them or not!!!!
At the same time, I saw the shoes that I was looking for, and told her that she was right, and picked the shoes I wanted, and try them on with her help. they fit perfectly, but we stayed talking for another 20 minutes. I asked her I was surprised by her question, and she said to me that over the time that she has been working there, has seen a lot of very nervous men trying to find shoes, so it was not a surpise for her at all that I was looking. Besides, she said that with the number of shoes I was looking for, she figured it out that they were for me (10W/11). She was also sooo nice and so pretty. Had I been single and 20 years younger, I would have tried to go out win her!!!!
But, some other customers enter the store, she greeted them, and they started asking ehr questions, and I left.
But what I learned, is that the SA have seen much more than we thought, and that they are in general very open. Both ladies told me that they did not have any problem, and that it was our decision. In fact, one of them told me that she has been in a drag queen show the last night.
I returned to the hotel so confident!!! And with two new pairs of shoes....
If you don't like the way I'm livin', you just leave this long haired country girl alone:
