I do. I've been out dressed a few times to a club and wear a goatee, that is up til yesterday when trimming I made a slip. I still have my mustache. I'm undecided as to shaving it off too. Billie Jean
I do. I've been out dressed a few times to a club and wear a goatee, that is up til yesterday when trimming I made a slip. I still have my mustache. I'm undecided as to shaving it off too. Billie Jean
Hope I',m not too judgemental here.
In New York City where I'm nearly at, people percieve such things as being edgy, folks like that kind of stuff here. The variation of ideas is what propels this planet forward, thankfully. You rule in my book.
I'm someone who wants/needs to be a girl....sometimes.
Therefore I've taken steps to remove the beard permanently via laser and electolysis. Don't get too excited, my beard was so heavy it was making doing makeup too challenging and problematic when I go out in public. My company president was ridiculing me in company meetings after a day of stubble (it was so dark & heavy) , so I went and did something about it. I am happy now.
I hate facial hair unless I'm feeling like a dude for the day. I would consider electrolysis one day down the road
I'm guessing that 'passing' does not interest you?Originally Posted by Billie Jean
Last edited by JessHaust; 01-09-2012 at 12:16 AM.
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The facial hair is much a part of my male persona. Not everyone who dresses cares about passing, I just like to wear dresses. My ex wife did my makeup for me a couple of times and I looked good but not that passable. However when I was around 13 or 14 I was more passable and wore my sisters clothes and put on makeup. She had the same hair color as me and a partial wig that made me look like her. After the long post, what I'm trying to say is I'm not that passable but still enjoy going out in a dress. I still put on makeup every now and then. I am toying with the Idea of doing it sans the facial hair. Billie Jean
Well, wether I pass or not, I'm trying to emulate what I perseve as a pretty woman, and as such I would think it would work better with out the facial hair.
I wore a goatee for many years, at the same time I supressed my CD feelings. The goatee helped to re-emforce the supression. By having it, I had a reason why I could not dress. It's gone now, and so is the supression.
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I probably would go out more often without the goatee Jess. From your avatar you look as if you do a good job of emulating a pretty woman. I have had the beard for most of my adult life shaving it off 3 or 4 times but the stache I've had since I was 19. I think that you are great for doing it your own way and who knows maybe I'll become clean shaven too. I haven't had any problem from others when out, infact some of the GGs at the club gave me compliments and quite a few hugs. Billie Jean
Last edited by Billie Jean; 01-09-2012 at 12:57 AM.
I went 30 years with mine and I know its hard to part with. If you do go clean, keep in mind that at first it will look really bad to you, but hang in there. Within a week or so you will get used to the new look. Now I look back at old pictures and think I look bad with the goatee, at the time I thought it looked great.
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This is a tough one.
I admit difficulty in getting my head around the whole facial hair and female clothing thing. Not so much because I don't "get" it, I do. It's simply another variation of expression. But the issue I have is that when we step into the public eye, we are a representation of our entire community whether we like it or not. The Muggles will have perceptions and make value judgments which could affect how they perceive anyone who is full time and doesn't have the option to take off the clothing and revert to their comfortable male mode.
There have been discussions with others in these pages who present pretty much as guys but incorporate a fair amount of female clothing into their presentation without going the entire hair & makeup route. Again, I admitted way back when my difficulty in understanding this but I think I managed to come around. I think one big difference is the facial hair thing. While these other individuals come across as being mostly androgynous in their presentation, whether it be a more utilitarian version of a skirt with flat boots or perhaps something more overtly feminine, the difference was facial hair, or lack thereof. That is the crux of the matter, that facial hair and female clothing really adds to more of a genderf*#^ look in the eyes of the outside world.
Androgynous and gender*#^ are two very different things in my book. I'm not trying to be judgmental. I'm simply being honest with my opinion and trying to keep an open mind. Yet I fear that such presentation may never mesh with my world view as to how our actions do in fact affect others who are full time.
Like a corpse deep in the earth I'm so alone, restless thoughts torment my soul, as fears they lay confirmed, but my life has always been this way - Virginia Astley, "Some Small Hope" (1986)
Sunlight falls, my wings open wide. There's a beauty here I cannot deny - David Sylvian, "Orpheus" (1987)
I had a mustache for 36 yrs and a goatee for the last 10 of those.My daughters one who is 35 had never seen me without a mustache.Needed to go out more than the macho look so shaved it off to go out for the first time a yr ago and said I'll grow it back.Never have.People comment quite often who haven't seen me for awhile that I look 10 yrs younger now because a lot of gray was showing up in it so it was a win-win deal.Wife hates me clean shaven but she's getting over it.
If I knew where it was going to take me I probably would have put my mother's panties back.
I've seen three men around the city who go out dressed and all have a full beard. Personally I think when that is being done it sort of reflects badly on our community. Trying not to be too judgemental. Just saying.....
How were the 3 men acting that reflected badly?
I'm reminded of an old Shel Silverstein cartoon in Playboy years ago, a feature about the gay community on Fire Island, NY. Two guys talking, one with his back turned. His friend says, "On the one hand, if you want to be a man, you've got to stop running around in dresses and high heels and makeup and such. On the other hand, if you want to be a woman, the mustache has to go."
I've had a moustache since about 16, facial hair since then. I had a goatee until recently. Shaved my face clean about 3 weeks ago, I started playing with makeup and now it's clean shaven for me.My Marleena mirror says YAY!
Oh..haven't gone out enfemme either way, but my confidence is building now.
Agreed. If we're at least *somewhat* passable, and acting accordingly, people don't have to explain to their 5 year olds why that "man with a beard" is wearing a dress and heels. Most kids wouldn't notice (even if adults did) if you were halfway passable. People resent having to explain stuff to their kids forcefully - and yes, you are FORCING them into that position, and they resent it. Rightfully so, I would never go out like that, just from simply respecting other people's space. I really don't want to give them something to "deal with", I just want to get about my business.
Crysten
"Addicted to Victoria's Secret".
I would call that a Freudian razor slip. Something inside you wanted to slip up so you would need to shave it off. I say cut the 'stache. You can always grow it back.
- AF
Look girl, act girl, feel girl ... be girl.
I myself wouldn't go out with facial hair. Considering I am not really passable I would think that was mocking the people that wasn't passably.
Or you have so confident and don't care what anyone thinks. Which is great. If you have any extra I will take it.
Other wise you are just plain crazy. Either way you are just being yourself and that is what this site is all about. Just being you and enjoying life.
Hugs,
Kristy
First of all there are lots of judgemental statements here. I have never walked around in a mall where 5 year olds saw me and I could care less if you want to pass. Crossdressing is about wearing what you want. I look no more like a freak than anyone who isn't passable, clean shaven, and wearing makeup. I also stated that no one at the club even acted repulsed and lots of them complimented my outfits. I had several women hug me and tell me they wanted to see me back again. I also know I'm not the only one on this forum who has gone out dressed and had facial hair. I wasn't trying to pass just to be me. Billie Jean
Last edited by Billie Jean; 01-09-2012 at 07:43 PM.
You are right people are judgemental. Heck we all are. We decide what we like what we dislike, etc. I think what is happening is people are judging what they like or can accept for themselves and place it on others. Sure if you wear a beard or mustache and present in feminine attire you will get more looks. But if that is ok with you then it is ok with me. As for community, you are welcome in my community anytime. I respect your right to dress as you want and how u want. There is a variety of folks here and crossdressing since that is the forum title covers a variety of things. I dont feel I have the right to limit it based on myself. Its a big umbrella and room for differences.
In crossdressing I find an individual expression and celebration of "self" not realized elsewhere in my life. I do it to please me not others. My mustache does nothing to lessen the personal enjoyment derived from my attire and activities while dressed. I simply present myself as a male who enjoys dressing in feminine attire. No secrets or hidden agendas.
I have a beard and mustache and go out "dressed" all the time. I have no interest in "passing," so I don't see a problem.
As for explaining to 5-year-olds: I don't think the 5-year-olds have a problem with it -- most of what grown-ups do makes little sense from a 5-year-old's perspective, anyway. If the parents have a problem, they can ask me, or let the kid ask. I'm happy to explain that it's just something I like to do, like playing baseball or dressing up as a pirate.
As for "reflecting badly on the community": what has "the community" done for me? I go out "dressed" to the post office, to the grocery store, to the barbershop, to church, etc., and I talk to people the way I always would. On the rare occasions when people ask me why I dress the way I do, I try to explain it in as simple terms as I can. If I am accepted (and I seem to be), I think it has more to do with how I treat people and my willingness to act like a normal person (regardless of how I'm dressed) than how well I conform to some CDers' standard of acceptable dress.
I've had a full beard since 1970, and have been wearing clothes bought in women's departments in public since 1994. Many people have liked the honesty.
Story of my coming out:
http://www.bliss-fire.com/ComingOut.htm
I was never trying to be judgemental, but sorry if I can across that way. We are all here for simular reasons, but none are exactly the same. Some of us want desprately to be women, some want only to wear the clothes, some... well there are lots of reasons. Mine has alwys been about creating the look. But thats my thing, if yours includes facial hair, and you feel you can pull it off, then go for it.
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Gina, Kathie, Asche, Jess, and Bill I appreciated your input. I think that we as people are biased as to they way we think and I also appreciate all the other ladies input as well. The fact is the world would be very boring if everyone thought the same as the other fellow. Some pass and others just are guys in a dress and heels with or without a beard. I plan on getting back to The Lipstick Lounge soon. They are an excepting crowd who welcomes all humans. My decision to be clean shaven or not will be based on my own feelings. We all share a common thread as to being blessed to be bi-gendered and I love you all. Billie Jean
Last edited by Billie Jean; 01-09-2012 at 10:34 PM.
I've had a mustache since my late teens (several decades ago) and throughout the years that I was suppressing myself and only dressing at home on rare occasions it was OK to be a man in a dress, but since I have accepted this part of me and gotten serious about my CD and making attempts at being in public that stache has gone and is not coming back. It makes taking care of that part of my face so much easier. I have only had a couple of comments and all good. Most people, including family members, didn't seem to even notice the change. I must say that I have been trying hard to be more accepting of the differences in people and not be judgmental. I needed to shave my face but you do what works for you.
AnitaH
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