Yeah, I don't really see myself ever bein with a guy.
Yeah, I don't really see myself ever bein with a guy.
but I really do believe that more men on this site are secretly harboring maybe just a slight fantasy to be a gal in all the ways at least once.I know that maybe just one time I would love to go on a date with a man and have the doors opened for me and the chair slid back at a resurant and maybe a nice goodnight kiss.
Maybe more who knows. I am a man but we are not all "jerks". And we do have a softer side. I am sure most of you have seen pictures of men in war holding their buddy close to them while they are badly wounded or dying.
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A fantastic post.
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No, I am monogamous and would be inimate with anyone besides my wife.
I am in love with my wife. But it alway's be a fantasy of mine especially when i'm dressed and my feminine is out
The variety of answers is very interesting. The scenario sounds like it's from a different world to me, but I'm sure there are a few out there that live like this.
My honest answer: I once had a male friend that I could have had a relationship with, and I had a gf at the same time. He wanted to have sex with my gf, but she didn't want him. The gf was very interested in having a 3-way with another male, but not him. I wasn't interested in a 3-way with any other male that she might have chosen either.
So, I think if it were the right two people, a lovely trio could develop. The caveat is it would be too complex and difficult emotionally, because there would be 3 separate relationships instead of 1. There would never be equal love in all 3 either. Normal relationships are very complex to begin with, so I couldn't see something like this lasting very long in reality.
Absolutely!! I'm a gay CD and still searching for a great guy to call my boyfriend.
WELL maybe i just don't quite get it, IMO any man that wants a relationship with a cder would definetly not be a "straight man" he would be a gay man, because the cder is a man.Would that not be correct? Having said that, any cders that wants a relationship with a straight man, is much more that just a CDer, he would be a gay CDer. I am trying to get this figured out, and post like this severly confuse me. I am a GG, trying to come to terms with this situation entering into my life, many years after being married. Need some clarification here.
Some of the comments on here come off as defensively homophobic. There is a lot of hypocracy in this community im learning.Originally Posted by vivianann
You are essentially correct. Although, some of us are bisexual.
I don't think I would want a full time relationship with a man but when I am dressed I do have fantasies of being taken by a man or especially a cd. I feel like I want to try everything.
Don't call it Gay per say. Because you are attracted to the female presentation of the CD. But I agree it can be called bi since its being attracted to the combination of female and male in a CD or TS.
But lets say a man is really attractive to a POST OP TS and a lot has to do with the fact he knows she is a post op TS. That is in essence bi sexual as well.
But from the Book "Alice in Genderland" the author speaks in detail that a CD fantasizes about being in a relationship with a man. But its the mere fact that she is the woman. She doesn't get aroused by the man, but by her thought of being the woman. What do you call that??
I disagree. Its not homophobic to not want to have sex with someone of your gender. Its sexual preference. If people were being derogatory I would consider that homophobic, but I've not seen any posts like that in this thread. vivianann may have used No more than the average poster, but I fail to see the homophobia there.
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Well one No may have been enough. But trying to emphasize with 4 no's can come off as trying to distance from being labeled homosexual. Thats what I wanted to point out.
Why no ask non crossdressing straight men the same question? You'll get the same answer, "No." the vast majority of Crossdressers are straight. There's no conversion because we like to wear dresses.
When Iam all dolled up, I love being intimate with the "man of my life" - myself
Let me see if I can ease the burden of your struggle a little bit -- the reality is that for the vast majority of us, the chances of finding a man who is up to the challenge of having a bona fide relationship with a CDer are very, very, very slim. Sure, it's easy enough to find guys to have sex with, but that's a far cry from having a relationship of any substance. Occasionally you might meet a guy who talks a good game (usually in order to persuade you to have sex), but when you start expecting relationship stuff, he's gonna toss you some lame excuses and evaporate into thin air.
In other words, your desire may be genuine, but your expectation probably isn't. So you can stop tormenting yourself that you're missing out on some wonderful alternate life. Odds are, it doesn't exist.
I would call that, something that can only be quantified by the individual. However, if a person is having homoerotic fantasies of being taken by a man, I'd have a hard time calling them straight. Perhaps "bi-curious" would be a better term in that circumstance. Deep down though, a person usually has an inkling of what their sexual orientation is. They may not like it, or accept it, or even acknowledge it, but they usually know.
Put me down in the curious column. While the idea of getting to dress up and be the seductress , is defiantly a fantasy of mine. I want a little more then just being a sexual object
I think the major issue dealing with gay or straight, especially while discussing crossdressing, is the genitals we're born with in opposition to how we perceive ourselves.
Let's take a guy who is attracted to and only wants to have sex with men. He does not dress as a female, does not want to be female, has no desire to be with females or anybody who dresses as one. We probably will all agree he is gay.
Let's take a guy who crossdresses but considers himself straight. For whatever reason he enjoys dressing as a woman but has no physical attraction to men and only has sex with women, whether dressed as female, or naked, he is only attracted to women. He will ALWAYS consider himself male, does not want to be female and has no desire to have sex with men. Regardless of how well he can pull of the male to female transformation, perhaps so well that most people believe him to be a her, he will always be he because he identifies himself as a man and remains only attracted to women. Do we call him straight even though he dresses as a woman? Would a fantasy of being with a man make him bi even if he has no desire to and will never live out the fantasy? I've read many women admit to fantasising about being raped, or forced into sex in some manner. Does that mean they WANT to be raped or forced into sex? Of course not, so I fail to see how we can draw a line from a fantasy of being with a man to a label of being bi-sexual.
Let's take someone who is born male but considers himself female. Is he gay simply because of the genitals he was born with and who he's attracted to and has sex with? Society considers him gay merely because he was born with a penis and is attracted to other men. In his mind he considers himself female, so is he truly gay? Isn't it telling that as far as the law is concerned someone is male until SRS is completed and the penis is gone? I should preface that last statement with that is my understanding of the legal issue of sex identity right now. I'm sure Melissa (aka Badtranny) would have a much deeper understanding of the legal issues facing a transgendered person. My point is, if he believes himself to be female then is he truly gay? Perhaps in the strictest sense of the word...he is a male having sex with men...but pyschologically we're venturing into murky waters. Pyschologically he is a woman, but through chance of birth she's trapped with penis that she does not want.
Let use take another guy who crossdresses. Can we call him gay if he crossdresses and through some quirk of his psychological makeup he is fully able to take on the complete personality of a woman, to the very extent that in his mind he BECOMES a woman. True, he has a penis and in all gentic aspects IS male and he knows this at all times, but in his mind he is female. While in this female state of mind he is attracted to men, and perhaps even has a relationship with a man, is he gay? He is very similar to the transgedered individual in that he believes himself to be female. Unlike the transgendered person, however, he can psychologically switch back to identifying as a male. In the strictest sense of the word he is gay because, regardless of how convincing he makes his female persona, he has a penis and is gentically male. Yet here again we're ventruing into a psychological area that deviates from simplistic definitions of sexuality and sexual identification. Is he gay or straight? Well, he's both, and neither, at different times, and at the same time.
Sorry this turned out to be so long. This post is not meant to offend, rather it's nothing more than my opinion and please take it as such.
Well thats my point that there is no direct boxed label for sexual orientation. I once had a relationship with a woman that had some personality traits that could be considered manly. I was attracted to some of those masculine traits, but I still enjoyed the fact she had a vagina. Does that make me Bi?
There is also the aspect of a CD wanting to explore a sexual fantasy with a man, but wouldn't be able to be in a relationship with a man.
Also if you look at a CD or TS escort, its been shown that the majority of their clients are married so called straight men. Explain that??
I agree with this. State of mind can make a cd a hetero female. What can we label it? Oh well there will never be a consensus. But in terms of the law and if that situation ever goes to a court of law. The court will call it gay relations.
Last edited by Nigella; 01-15-2012 at 12:59 PM.
when i am dressed i am a woman and do want to be with a man.....i guess that makes me bi.....when dressed i am a woman all the way with feelings, emotions and desires as such.....
I don't think anyone was being homophobic here. They did not say that gays were wrong in any manner. What they said is they , personally, would not participate. There was only one where fear was even intimated and that was a "trust" issue more than a fear issue.
I subscribe to the "no one is 100% gay or straight" theory. It isn't a black and white issue at all. I also believe you don't control who you fall in love with. You may limit your chances by avoiding some people but I think that when you fall in love you fall in love with the person and their spirit. I am bi. I won't hide that fact. I have a few times found men whom I could be with. If I had my druthers though, I want a female at this point in my life. Then again, if Mr Right were to come along... I try and be honest though, that when the make up and wig come off, I am male. Sometimes I wish otherwise but that is a fact. I also know that after a certain time the new wears off. What could start as lust may not be forever. Love, however knows no limits. You may settle into comfortable but the embers are always there.
If everything worked out right, I could be with a man. I could marry a man (there that will scare a few here). But I have no control over that, if it happens, it happens.
PS There are men in my life I love. Not sexually but that I feel are very close to me.
Last edited by Lorileah; 01-15-2012 at 07:57 PM. Reason: bad keyboard bad bad keyboard
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If it was the right man, absolutely. I would love to take on that role, and if we make one another happy, if the sexual chemistry is good, etc. life is too short to worry about what it is and what it isn't. I would absolutely love such a situation. I'd also love the same with a supporting woman.
No, only females for me
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