Letter to all

[kimberly25]

I am a wife of a cross dresser, and we have been married for 2 years this Jan. 2012.
i love him dearly and i know it must have been the hardest thing to do telling me.
Since we married there has always felt as if someting had been missing or a wall between us, since he told me,it seems as if our relationship has opened up and how are on a different level. Yes i questioned our marriage since he didn't trust me enough to tell me before we married, but i think iunderstand why. Our soceity has placed certain lables on people that i feel is unfair and not right. These lables have damaged men and woman in our soceity to the point that they can't even feel like they can be who they want to be. Yes it was a shock, but i don't love him any less and iknow he loves me more then any relationship i have ever had with any other man. For those women who have found themselves with this same issue, just look at it this way, your man has what other men lack and that's being sensitive and true to who they are with and who they are.
Don't make this a negitive but a possitive in your life.
I thank you all for being there for him in his time of need.
kimberly25

[Dana7]

Kimberly,

That was so sweet of you to write. I agree with you, CDers have what other men lack in sensitivity with their partners. I appreciate your willingness to make this a positive rather than a negative in your attitude and for taking the time to tell us.

Thanks for your willingness to support and show your caring not only for your own husband but for all of us here.


Hugs,

Dana

[Allisa]

Let me just say Thank-you for your understanding and thats why we are here to be of support.Bye-Bye,Lisa.

[Rachel Morley]

I think you have "got it in one" IMHO you can be sure it is absolutely the most difficult thing to share ... with anyone. I promised myself I would never ever tell a living sole because I knew that they would never fully understand it or me ....but I was so wrong because if you are lucky enough to find a partner who is like my wife (and it sounds like you are such a partner) then yes, it does opened up the relationship to a different a level. I believe my wife and I are so incredibly close and emotionally connected to one another because of my cross dressing, not despite of it.

In my own particular case, my wife Marla tells me that she thinks my crossdressing and especially going out in public presenting as female gives me precious insights about women that go well beyond what a "regular" non-trans male is aware of, and that she would be the first to sing the praises of crossdressing husbands who do really "get" many things about women that other guys can't.

For example, she loves it that I understand why it can take so long for her to get ready for an evening out; why she just doesn't feel pretty some days despite looking more or less the same as always; why a woman might feel vulnerable when walking to the car late at night. etc etc. All of these things (and more) can make me and other crossdressers who educate themselves much more sensitive to women's feelings, and much more in tune with women's lives than most guys typically are. My bi-gendered life does give me valuable insights into what it "might" be like to be female, but obviously it stops well short of what it's actually like to be a real woman.

[Sister Rachel]

This post has made me happy

It was 2 years into our marriage that I 'fessed up to Anne .. 15 years on we are still together and growing stronger in understanding and love. We are lucky and I'm sure you will be too xxx

[Momarie]

Welcome,

I know how easy it is to make such affirmative statements early on...quite another to see it through many years and many decades.

You both might want to pace yourself.

Try to keep the couple in you alive while letting "another woman" in...and she will need to come in, sooner or later.

[LeaP]

Your husband is very fortunate. Few people have the ability to see past themselves and embrace - truly embrace - another person's conflicts and complexities. Assuming he has the same quality, you are going to grow together beautifully. You give me hope for the human heart.

Lea

[DanaR]

Welcome to the forum Kimberly. Now that he has opened up to you, you have an opportunity to learn more about him. Try to be understanding and honest; which is what you would expect from him as well.

[Piora]

Oh, how I LOVE threads like this! It makes me very happy to see such support for one another, and wives that care so much. Welcome to the site, Kimberly, and thank you for posting this. You really are commendable.

[NathalieX66]

Hi Kimberly,
You sound like a very kind and loving person. I'm sure your husband is a very special person.
I'm as guy as the next guy. I'm also girl as the next girl. Gender is a spectrum.
The saying "when you have lemons, make lemonade" seems applicable, abeit a little simplistic, but I like it. .
Peace & love.

[Brenda456]

Today my wife was with me when I bought a dress. She didn't really love the fact that I bought it, but she is doing her best to be supportive. It means a lot. . .

[RADER]

Hi and welcome Kimberly;
You are correct in you saying that your husband is more sensitive to your feelings.
My wife and I have been married for 18 years, I was always anticipating her needs, and getting
things for her before she asked for them. She says that I have a 6 sense about her.
I do not go out of the house dressed, Just to big of a frame to look even close like a girl;
However, my wife likes when I dress, an just sit and talk. You seem to be a special person
and your husband is A very lucky guy.
Hope to see more of you on the forum.
Rader

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Kimberly, You sound like a very wonderful and understanding wife he is very lucky to have someone that cares .

[docrobbysherry]

And, I say that not having a clue what u look like!

U get that rating from me for your; understanding, acceptance, compassion, and faithfulness!

[stacycoral]

Oh, how I LOVE threads like this! It makes me very happy to see such support for one another, and wives that care so much. Welcome to the site, Kimberly, and thank you for posting this. You really are commendable.

You SO is very lucky to have a understandiing and wonderful wife, it take a special love, and friendshiip to understand girl in us sometimes, It sounds like you are going to be a happy couple for a long long time.

[kimberly25]

To all that had responded, if it wasn't for my wonderful husband i would have never gone back to college and the support he has giving me has been a gift in it's self. What kind of person would i be to not except him for who he is as a person. Yes it is new to me but i feel that with a open mind and a positive look on life that is all i could do. Yes itold him i need to take things slow, but i love him no less. I feel that if anyone would just take a second and open there hearts and minds that this world would be a better place. We judge to much, we hate with out knowning why and look at us now. if we would just stop and think for just a second of what the out come will do to someone maybe this world would be better.

[Jilmac]

Kimberly, You seem like a very loving and caring spouse. I know first hand how difficult it must have been for your husband to open up to you. I disclosed my affinity to dressing to my wife while we were dating so she knew all about me, but she still disapproved and I stayed in the closet until she passed away. I loved my wife dearly and it hurt me that I dressed behind her back. But I also hurt her by all the secrecy. It's good to know that there are spouses and GFs who are able to accept the whole person in their relationship.

[Lorileah]

kimberly, you are amazing and you epitomize how when you love someone, what they wear doesn't matter. I wish the best for you two

[Danni Bear]

Kimberly,

Your husband is a very lucky man in finding a wife that can understand and accept however reluctently his needs. As many here will warn you and your husband, this cannot be a one way street, he will have to give back to you also. This is a lifetime commitment to each other and there will be rough times ahead, just remember to always love each other.

God Bless
Danni

[donnalee]

What a sweet post! It is indeed difficult to find someone who will let love guide them; I was lucky in that way and so your husband must be. Welcome to the site; you are among friends.
Donna

[ReineD]

Hi Kimberly, welcome to the forum!

How wonderful that the wall you sensed between you and your husband has melted away, now that you know the truth. Even when wives say they would never had guessed about the CDing, I can't help but wonder if like you, they sensed something was amiss even if they didn't know what it was.

I'm glad that you understand why it was hard for your husband to tell you, and I hope that you and he will continue to grow together as you both learn more about the CDing.

[Kathy Smith]

Wow Kimberly! I really love encouraging posts like that. :-)

I don't want to get negative, but bear in mind that, now he's told you and you've accepted it, he may go into "pink fog" mode. You may have to attempt to keep a little control over him, ease him (and yourself) into this new world. Bear in mind that the feminine side of him may have been suppressed for many years and wants to get out!

[Foxglove]

Hello, Kimberly! Thanks so much for your post. I'm not in a relationship myself, haven't been in one for a long time, and it's looking like I never will be again. But what I get from your letter is understanding and acceptance, and those are two very precious things for someone like me, no matter who they're coming from. You sound like a real sweetheart, and your husband is lucky to have you. I think you will have some difficulties, because CDing is simply a very difficult issue to deal with. But you've got such a good heart, with the two of you working together, I've got no doubt you will be able to deal with things together and enjoy many years of great love. That's what I truly hope for for both you.

Best wishes, Annabelle.

[Alice Torn]

Wow! Kimberley. You hit a grand slam home run!

[docrobbysherry]

Kim, I'm nominating u for president! OK?