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Thread: Your picture on this site

  1. #76
    trans punk Badtranny's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ReineD View Post
    then can they be faulted for this?
    I have no argument for you. I'm on record saying CD's do not need to come out to everyone. Why would they? And I also agree about the difficult middle place. Yikes I have enough problems with the difficult all the way out place. Which I know is easier than the halfway out place. ;-)

    However, I can't help but feel more connected to someone if I see their face. I'm a social butterfly I can't help it!
    Quote Originally Posted by STACY B
    At least there is social acceptance in being a drunk in our world. Hell I was good at it too.
    Melissa Hobbes
    www.badtranny.com

  2. #77
    Senior Member Debglam's Avatar
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    I think it is a matter of comfort. I think everyone is pretty nervous when they first start posting here. As I became more comfortable in my own skin, first came the photo, then the photo without sunglasses, etc.

    I personally like seeing avatar photos but I fully understand why someone wouldn't want to use one. Again, whatever you are comfortable with.

    I'd add one more thing, everyone I have met so far looks prettier in person!

    Quote Originally Posted by AllieSF View Post
    My avatar is a picture of my shadow on a green tennis court.
    Allie, I had NO idea! That is just wild!

    Deb

  3. #78
    Member drushin703's Avatar
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    In the 2003 movie COLD MOUNTAIN, a wonderful love story wraped around the waning days of the civil war, Ada Monroe (beautifully played by Nicole
    Kidman) chided a reluctant Inman (Jude Law) to show her his tin-type, "your photograph, with your courage and musket on display".What I was trying
    to say earlier was that posting a photo, an enfemme photo, to other crossdressers on a crossdresser site, is not an example of courage. I appoligize to
    you Jess, I didnt take your post badly and certianly did not want to imply that it was bullying but thru some very painful memories I can recall being
    ostricized from every possible group known to mankind for being the sissy.And for a long time,befor this forum, I thought I might just be the only
    sissy on earth.Does that mean a picture of me is forthcoming.....?Probably not>...But I love you all so very much...dana

  4. #79
    Catastro-fem
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    Interesting question to be sure. I have no photos up for several reasons. We could start with the one that looms long over me - I've been in the closet for close to fifty years. I am not sure I'd be just popping pictures of myself out there quite yet. I am lucky in that my wife supports the CD thing, but I am VERY sure that none of my family would. Second - I don't know that I'd want others I work with to run across my femme self here (or anywhere else!) as I don't think they are as open and acceptive as the company promotes us to be. Last, I don't have a lot of confidence in my appearance after looking around here for the last while. I may be inclined to post a headless photo i the not too distant future, but that will take a little mental preparation up front.

    This is a de-stressing thing for me, and I don't want to become re-stressed over it. It seems that this is an open and acceptive group save for a few, and I enjoy hanging out here and reading, and more than anyting, finding that there are others that have similar thoughts and situations to mine.

    Thanks for reading...
    I am Erica2
    I am Erica2

  5. #80
    Addicted To Lipstick donnatracey's Avatar
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    Well, I've always had a fascination for red lips! Plus, like Eryn said, it is easy to spot when scrolling through threads to see where I've posted. Also, I've had the fear that my picture (which I don't take well, drab or fem) would be less than flattering. Though I recently have started taking some shots so who knows, maybe in the future I will use one....

  6. #81
    Banned Read only
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    I use a picture of the Joker because it represents my true personality, and obviously, one that cannot be used/shown in very many places.

    I do not use a picture of myself because I simply do not have one. I have not had a picture taken of myself, in male or female form, in several years. I think the last "real" picture that I was in and was the dominant thing to focus on was... 2001? Some where around there, maybe, I'm not even sure.

    Why? I don't like seeing myself. I also don't like other people seeing me. Weird, yes, I know. I mean, how can I go to school without people seeing me? I dunno, I just try to be a ghost that every one forgets within five minutes. Also, it makes shaving a bit difficult some times, but I'm used to it. I don't even look in mirrors. And so, when I log onto this site, the last thing I want to see is myself.

  7. #82
    Junior Member KelleyG's Avatar
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    Well I'm new to the site and have not really taking any pics of me dressed up yet. I have just talked to my wife about who I am and will be slowly working on expressing my self more and more. when the time is right, I will post

  8. #83
    Aspiring Member
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    At my age and with my personal history, it's not a big deal to me. My wife met this part of me first and has been fine with it (even supportive and participatory) from day one. Many people in my midsize (100,000 ± population) hometown know as well, and a number of good friends I have come out to swore they would never have recognized me. If someone does, so be it. I don't upload R- or X-rated pics as a matter of discretion, because the Internet IS crawling with creeps.

  9. #84
    a beautiful metalhead JessicaM1985's Avatar
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    I'm an open and honest person, and I'm on a crossdressing forum, so it only makes sense for me to share the pics as well as the stories. I'm cool with you ladies seeing me because I know that I'm accepted her and that this is a relatively safe place to do it. If people see and recognize me from here, then I'd have to question why they are on a crossdressing forum to begin with. Outside of here though, I'm not ready for the whole world to see my girl side just yet. But eventually I'd like to progress far enough to where I'd feel confident to post mye in guy mode so you can see my progression towards looking like who I feel like inside...
    "To deny our impulses, is to deny the very thing that makes us human...." - Mouse from The Matrix
    Love me or hate me, I will always be myself.

    I'm just the kind of gal that likes death metal, beer, and "dad" jokes. Oh and I build computers and play PC games.

  10. #85
    Silver Member Barbara Dugan's Avatar
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    I think is just a matter of a very personal choice, I like to use my must current pic as my avatar, I've know to use sometimes my male picture a few times .

  11. #86
    Member Maija's Avatar
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    I don't like the way I look, and I am not out to anyone except my wife. I like the way the woman in this photo looks so....

  12. #87
    Once upon a time... Veronica Lacey's Avatar
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    Thumbs up

    Hi Jess...

    Complex answers abound, indeed, but a good query just the same. Here's my own take.

    Crossdressing for me is a part time hobby enjoyed in my own privacy and only my wife need ever know of it. There is little to no desire to go public and show the world what I look like if I tried to look like a woman, which I do not try to do any way. I simply enjoy wearing female attire on occasion for personal pleasure and comfort.

    As I am 90% male in my mind and would never consider a permanent transition, presenting a photo of myself en femme even in this forum would, to me, detract from my "credibility" as it would be more false than true. It does not serve me on any level to post an image of me in a dress. Having said this I have no desire to post an image of who I really am, which is a male, just as I would not post my full legal name. There appear to be very few - if any? - who post the name from their legal ID here in this forum. Why? My opinion is because it's just not necessary to enjoy and contribute to this forum by posting such info. I feel the same way about the avatar one chooses.

    I applaud those who are finding their way to whom they feel they truly are. It would seem that posting a photo of themselves in here is a great vehilce by which to attain such goals whatever they may be. Any which way it is what one feels on the inside that matters most rather than the image they choose to project here or any other place online. Being happy with who one is does not necessarily need to translate to a photo for publlic consumption. If it helps them by posting it, though, then it is perhaps beyond being useful but a true reflection of their reality. I wear panties and suspenders a small portion of my time so it fittingly represents me to show an image of the very panties I enjoy most.

    By the way, Jess...I love the photo you have posted here. You look truly authentic and very much at ease with who you are. That is a blessing as much as it is an endeavour.

  13. #88
    Gold Member Sometimes Steffi's Avatar
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    Pretty simple for me. Too chicken at first. But then I found out that the Avatar is public, and shows up in a Google search, while the profile pic is for members only.
    Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me. Or, maybe I'm gender fluid.

  14. #89
    Senior Member 5150 Girl's Avatar
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    My Av is me, Why, a bit of vanity I guess. I also hope that one day I'll be spotted from a sister on this site some day. I wish to meet ohters like me as I've not yet met anyone else.

  15. #90
    Gold Member
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    When I first got on here, I was unsure of how secure I would feel, so I went with the safe avatar below. After a while, I realized that I was recognizing who's messages I was reading by my peripheral vision picking up their avatars. So even though my comfort came about after a while, I left the same avatar up for a long time just for the recognizability. But I want to play like others, so I now change it now and then. I just won't do it frequently.

    Attachment 172401

  16. #91
    Member Crysten's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Smile View Post
    Ive often wondered this.
    I dont accept friend requests from cartoons and stock photo users. Some may say this is unfair, but let me explain.
    Ive taken time and patience to get my game up to a level as such that Im confident enough to share an image of myself including my face. If you havent done this, then in my head, were clearly not on the same page.
    It's not to say I have to support for these individuals, but I feel theres a lack of honesty that comes through when posters dont include an image of themselves.
    Ive also noticed that a lot of these particulare users are the ones who start threads of wild, unbelievable adventures and have dozens of you commending them on their efforts...
    This annoys me, not to see people doing well, but theres ZERO photographic evidence to prove they actually did what they claimed.
    This is the internet, this is a forum and to quote my forum fore-fathers/mothers...
    http://straightrazorplace.com/attach...-images-1-.jpg

    Im not calling everyone a liar, but did you know Im actually a billionaire?
    Ive got a Veyron too.

    If you havent got pictures, in my opinion, youre not even trying.
    Seriously? Ever consider some of us spent a lifetime in the military and having pics of ourselves turn up on the internet would have meant our career was over? Yes many of us are not on the same page as you are. Some of us have pages much deeper and broader than you ever had or will ever have. Way to judge and immediately dismiss entire groups of people out of hand without any real consideration. Your arguement is invalid, you fail.
    Crysten

    "Addicted to Victoria's Secret".

  17. #92
    Aspiring Member JessHaust's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Crysten View Post
    Seriously? Ever consider some of us spent a lifetime in the military ...
    one of my new good friends is ex-Marine. Shes really pretty.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  18. #93
    Aspiring Member JessHaust's Avatar
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    Please don't stop the replys, but I just want to say thanks.
    I really have a much better understanding of all of you.
    Your comments have been insightful, well thought-out explainations for what is a very personal decision and i appreciate you sharing with me.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  19. #94
    Member Regan's Avatar
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    I do not have a wig or make up yet so I am working on posting a picture from the shoulders down. Has anyone posted pictures not in a wig or makeup? Hopefully I will get the picture up in the next week.

  20. #95
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Badtranny View Post
    However, I can't help but feel more connected to someone if I see their face. I'm a social butterfly I can't help it!
    And that, you certainly are! I see your point.

    Oh ... and I don't know that the all the way out place is particularly easier than the halfway out place.

    Doesn't this sound like text from Dr. Zeuss?
    Reine

  21. #96
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    I make my own images in photoshop, and I see my avatar the same way I see clothes and makeup, as art. My photos are definitely idealized images, but I see nothing wrong with that. In my opinion it is all about expressing yourself.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC] Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law.

  22. #97
    Platinum Member Eryn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sometimes Steffi View Post
    Pretty simple for me. Too chicken at first. But then I found out that the Avatar is public, and shows up in a Google search, while the profile pic is for members only.
    Tried a Google image search using my femme name. Darn, if only I looked as good as some of the pictures it found! Didn't show me, though.
    Eryn
    "These girls have the most beautiful dresses. And so do I! How about that!" [Kaylee, in Firefly] [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    "What do you care what other people think?" [Arlene Feynman, to her husband Richard]
    "She's taller than all the women in my family, combined!" [Howard, in The Big Bang Theory]
    "Tall, tall girl. The woman could hunt geese with a rake!" [Mary Cooper, in The Big Bang Theory]

  23. #98
    trans punk Badtranny's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Crysten View Post
    Seriously? Ever consider some of us spent a lifetime in the military and having pics of ourselves turn up on the internet would have meant our career was over? Yes many of us are not on the same page as you are. Some of us have pages much deeper and broader than you ever had or will ever have. Way to judge and immediately dismiss entire groups of people out of hand without any real consideration. Your arguement is invalid, you fail.
    Whoa whoa whoa Sarge, at ease and whatnot. Is she not allowed to have an opinion? The fact is most of what you read on the internet is mostly BS even on this forum. Many people come here and invent an entire persona because they are so unhappy with who they are. A pic can be faked sure, but as the months go by and face pics get updated you can almost get a sense for who the person is. Your reason for not posting one is as valid as any other, but if she wants to cultivate relationships with people SHE would consider real then what's it to you?

    In closing, can somebody tell me why military service is relevant to THIS thread? ;-)
    Quote Originally Posted by STACY B
    At least there is social acceptance in being a drunk in our world. Hell I was good at it too.
    Melissa Hobbes
    www.badtranny.com

  24. #99
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    The fact is most of what you read on the internet is mostly BS even on this forum. Many people come here and invent an entire persona because they are so unhappy with who they are. A pic can be faked sure, but as the months go by and face pics get updated you can almost get a sense for who the person is.


    This is a great point. I joined this forum because I love to crossdress and wanted to be part of a larger community. I run my photos through filters and tweak them to the point that I am happy with them, and incidentally I am sure I am not identifiable in "male mode" from my photos. I work for a very big international corporation, so I understand the concerns the military folk have, but I feel that there are ways around it. I do also go out into the world in various stages of crossdress, but the internet is very big and images, once posted, can potentially pop up anywhere at any time. Therefore, even if some want evidence, I will not post compromising photos of an evening out because those photos may circulate FOREVER.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC] Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law.

  25. #100
    Aspiring Member Fran Moore's Avatar
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    To answer your question Reine, "No they can't". However, I do agree with Badtranny that it is an easier "connection" when you can get some kind of visual "fix" on the person that is posting. One example would be Karren Hutten. That face just goes with her humor and insights. It just wouldn't be the same for me if I knew Karren as a cartoon figure. As for me, I have no fear of posting a real photo, because I too have grown to like this side of me and maybe I'm just getting too old to give a damn what others may think!
    Quote Originally Posted by ReineD View Post
    If someone is TS and is planning a transition to full time, then I see your point. Eventually everyone will know anyway, it's just a question of time. If they are not planning to transition but they say they are, then I would question their ability to be honest as well.

    But, CDers do not plan on going full time. They do have a gender identity that is not 100% female, they have no need to be femme full time including at work (even if it is paramount for them to express themselves on a regular basis), they are not willing to compromise their jobs, their families, or some of their friends. If they've found a way to live in this very difficult "middle place" by keeping their feminine expression under their control (and by this I mean that THEY choose who should know or not know rather than leave it up to a chance disclosure online), then can they be faulted for this?
    Transtronaut


    You must first find yourself before you can discover your future-

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