Is there a difference?

[Tara D. Rose]

Is there a difference between crossdressers that were born this way? Like myself and so many others on here and others I have gotten to know from other places. So many of us say we were having feminine thoughts even before we even knew what sex was. I was like that. I grew up in a large family in a very small house. So there wasn’t much opportunity to put on anyone’s panties. But the drive was there for me as young as 3 years old I so remember. Sometimes after a bath at that young of an age, I would finish the bath and would go to the bedroom that I had to share with my 3 bothers and a sister that were watching have gun will travel or something. No room ever for much privacy. And so after the bath, I would just have the towel around me and nothing else. It was a short towel and so I would just prance around in it and my feminine fantasies would run wild even before I could possibly know what a fantasy was or what sex was. I would pretend I was my Aunt Fay. I thought she was so beautiful even at that young of an age.
Later on at those times I would pretend or fantasize that I was my first grade teacher. So now in looking back on the earliest memories that I can remember, I know without a shadow of a doubt that I was destined to be what I am even before I knew what I was nor could fathom being so young and innocent. My point being, I was destined to be what we all know that I am.
So I am 100% convinced only to myself that what I am, is totally by birth and and/or genetics. I have known for many years that this crossdressing had never been a choice for me. My question today is for those that only began crossdressing at an older age? And of those that did start dressing later on in an adult life, was it something that happened along your life that made you decide to begin crossdressing? I feel that for me, I had no choice, but for those that began crossdressing in the 30’s and 40’s or even 50’s, if crossdressing began at the later ages, then is it from birth, or is it just a choice? Is it that some of us are born with it and some choose it?
L&R…………………….Tara

[Persephone]

Like you, Tara, I find that to be an interesting question.

My first memory of "crossdressing" was from when I was about 2-1/2 years old. I had some old pots and pans that I played with. I got my foot stuck at an angle in one of them, an old coffee percolator. I remember how my foot got into the pot; I was trying to walk with my heel up as in a high heeled shoe.

There was never a time in my childhood when I wasn't trying to be a girl. I knew I really was supposed to be a girl, I just couldn't figure out how to make it happen.

Hugs,
Persephone.

[DanaR]

I have a picture of me when I was about four, with my long hair wearing a dress. Then when I was 7 or 8 my older sister caught me wearing some of my moms stuff. So, I guess I started young too.

[noeleena]

Hi,

Mum dressed me in a cream dress 64 years ago. quite often, at age 10 -11 i was dressed for a end of year church evening about 80 people & my Mum was there as well yes all dressed up make up & all i was one of 5 of us for the pantomime. 4 of us were girls,

as to your meaning of dressing no did not do it. was not even bothered, to tell the truth, tho hated male clothes of any type, no matter i dont wear them at all , so prob solved,

...noeleena...

[JenniferR771]

This brings up a good question. Suppose a man decided he wanted to become a crossdresser. Is it possible to just take it up like an hobby?

[Katelyn B]

My earliest memories aren't of cross dressing exactly, rather hating wearing what my parents were dressing me in (it just felt wrong) and spending as much time as I could taking them off and not wearing any (always in secret), that all changed when I discovered my sisters cloths, and wearing those just made me feel so much better. I wouldn't say I knew I wasn't a boy, I just don't think I was that self aware as a child, I just knew something was wrong one way and doing something about it made me feel happier.

As such, I've always assumed it was something you born with, I was doing this well before puberty, and every time I see a post with the gist of "I want to start cross dressing, how do I do it", I just assume they're trolling, but I admit that could be disingenuous of me.

[Karren H]

Is there a difference between crossdressers that were born this way?

Versus?? ...............

[Lynn Marie]

[SIZE="4"]Being a somewhat insecure kid with some pretty messed up parents, I've always had some doubts about my own manhood. Therefore over compensation became the norm, and any thoughts of crossdressing were instantly suppressed.

Now that I'm considerably older, I'm quite secure in my manhood which allows me to experiment with an extraordinarily erotic hobby and not worry about who I am. Very cool to be alive and well and set free.[/SIZE]

[kimdl93]

I can't imagine having the desire to dress simply emerge out of thin are, later in live, but I can only view this from my personal experience. Like you, my earliest recollections, early behaviors and even dreams that remain vivid after decades, all point to being born this way. I think the question needs to be addressed to those who's interest and first experiences in CDing began later in life. It would be interesting to hear their point of view.

[Tara D. Rose]

Versus?? ...............

Verses ones that begin crossdressing only in thier adult life.

[Marleena]

Tara I also believe it is genetic/biological. Some of us bury, or hide, or fight the urges for years then BANG! I wish I had accepted it earlier in life, I missed out on a lot of fun.

[ArleneRaquel]

I agree with Marleena, that its a genetic/biological thing. I've had the " bug " since I was 7 - 8, and its never left me. After age 55 it just became impossible to for me to not dresses as close to 24/7 as I can.

[AllieSF]

I started 5 years ago from zero as I like to say. I had dressed completely for a costume party as a woman almost 30 years ago for a costume party and I had a fabulous time acting the role of a woman all night long, including using the women's restroom. Once back in male mode the next day, I had no desire to continue dressing as a woman. I said I would like to do "that" again for another costume party, but I never though of doing it without the party atmosphere. I can look back in my life and see some possible telltales that may indicate that I was destined for something different in later life. But I do not rely on those telltales because sometimes us humans have a tendency to try to justify things based on something else, even though we really have no idea and our justifications are totally incorrect. I started about 2 years after I had my prostate removed due to cancer rendering me incontinent and impotent. Maybe my dressing is my way of compensating for my loss of manliness and male sexual capabilities to perform when needed and desired. One way or the other, here I am loving it. Since I believe what others say about not being able to put this big genie back in that small bottle, I also believe that for many, most and maybe even all, that this may be something that we were destined to do either from early childhood or when we finally actually discovered and tried it. Me being the latter. I really do not know and even more really do not care. I am so happy that I have this attitude because it really scares me when I see so many other suffering and struggling with this whole thing. I definitely do not want to be that way. That would be no fun!

[suzy1]

This brings up the question, are we born this way or is it possible to be influenced by life events to start wanting or needing to crossdress latter on. Just choosing to crossdress I find hard to believe.

I clearly remember dressing when I was about 4 years old if that helps.

SUZY

[johanna.kitten]

Tara I also believe it is genetic/biological. Some of us bury, or hide, or fight the urges for years then BANG! I wish I had accepted it earlier in life, I missed out on a lot of fun.

Too right, I denied myself this great gift for so many years. Sometimes I really wish one had a second chance to just get things right, the way they were supposed to be. Now I got to fight hard for every little thing and I do fight for it. So, many
years wasted!

/Johanna

[ReineD]

You might find these threads interesting:

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...-Late-Onset-CD

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...s-late-in-life

[KellyJameson]

Between the sexes are there really any differences concerning what the mind is capable of experiencing ? Our nature, (the biology, genetics,DNA,hormones,ect... The physical stuff ) is the soil that the seed of our experiences is planted into. In my opinion almost any man can be influenced in childhood or latter to want to crossdress because it is a natural expression of his inner femininity and why should a man not be attracted to the same things women are? Combine this with his sexuality and you have a potent cocktail. With age for some the sexual energies lessen and the crossdressing softens and the experience of the feminine deepens with a movement toward that which would more closely be identified as being transgendered.

A much smaller percentage (but not as small as everyone thinks) would define themselves as transgendered because environment alone is enough to introduce crossdressing but you need nature to turn it into being transgendered. The physical male brain more closely resembles the female brain in childhood.

Crossdressing is a learned behavior that can be very satisfying and possibly addictive because of sex but being transgendered is innate and often very painful and what may appear to be addictive behavior for a transgendered person is the struggle to swim to the surface to break thru and breath in the air of freedom and the beginning of life by escaping the dissonance felt between mind and body

In my opinion it is possible for some to go through life and ignore or suppress the desire (dissonance) to be a woman but it comes with a different cost than the one of making the change to live as closely as possible to being a woman that current medicine and science allows.

There is a life long dissonance with those who are transgendered of never feeling at ease in their own bodies and for them they play the role of being a man or woman but it is an act that is very exhausting and often the rewards are few and far between.

Being transgendered is a feeling that goes back to the first experiences of self identity and it stands in contrast (measured against) other people, a feeling of alienation because you cannot connect to the world. You try to embrace the world and reject it at the same time and the world does this to you as well because your spirit and body are not aligned so what people see is different than what you are. People see one thing but feel something else in your presence and this causes them confusion and sometimes fear so they seek to change you so your spirit (energy) is the same as your body but this is not possible because you are not what you appear to be but the opposite. Both male and female energies held in one body or in the extreme the absence of male energy in a male body or absence of female energy in a female body that latter in life can cause difficulties in sexual relations that do best when in opposition to each other.

The culture (people as a group) respond to our natural energies (personality,temperament,disposition,ect...) in relation to the vessel they are housed in but this energy is not completely created by us but inherited as circumstances of birth, we are born complete as a canvas that life paints on but this very canvas is our soul, our very essence and beyond our ability to completely change. ( you cannot completely escape yourself and what you were born with you will die with).

These are of course my opinions of trying to describe the indescribable and I have much to learn in taking these vaque abstract feelings and giving them words because everything is wrapped up into everything else and we are not a series of pieces to be examined but whole living sentient beings.

[Marleena]

Great post Kelly! I know I am beyond being CD myself so you make some great points there. As a child I always felt on the outside looking in. I paid the price for suppressing it, and not really knowing what it was all about. It all makes sense now, decades later.

[Foxglove]

I also lean towards the view that I was a born CDer. I felt the urges at a very early age, got started quite young. But what I've learned recently is that "science" has no definite view on this as yet, and so for me the jury is still out. Well, let them deliberate. I'll get on with things in the meantime.

[Eryn]

I think that it has to do both with where we are on the TG spectrum and with our outside influences. I'm "late onset" but I can remember being "overly interested" in things feminine throughout my life. I just managed to keep these tendencies relatively repressed for most of my life.

As a society, we have no problem with understanding and acknowledging the various phases of life for GGs. We talk of their "coming of age," about the ticking of their "biological clock" and about their "change of life."

It isn't too much of a stretch to realize that a similar "male menopause" might mark a new phase of masculine life, reducing the male imperatives, and allowing our TG sides to become evident.

[Laura912]

I would strongly disagree with the statement that "any man could be influenced to be a cross dresser." This is a hard wired thing just is sexual preference for the same sex. It will take neuroscience a little longer to prove the former but the latter is almost established.
Laura

[Lucy_Bella]

I would strongly disagree with the statement that "any man could be influenced to be a cross dresser." This is a hard wired thing just is sexual preference for the same sex. It will take neuroscience a little longer to prove the former but the latter is almost established.
Laura

I have to agree with this... Why would any man go through the trouble we do? I mean in the closet ,Isolated , expensive and time consuming .. I would love to have all I just mentioned to just lay around and watch T.V. drinking a beer ..To hell with it..

[Ineke Vashon]

This brings up a good question. Suppose a man decided he wanted to become a crossdresser. Is it possible to just take it up like an hobby?

Speaking strictly out of my own recent experience, I don't think a man can decide to: "Oh, I plan to become a crossdresser." It's not a hobby for me, like painting or model airplanes. It's just....there. And it has been ....there. For how long? I wish I knew.

Ineke

[AnitaH]

I can't answer for those late onset CDers. It's always been a part of my life, a part I tried hard for decades to eradicate. Much like Marleena I always felt like I was on the outside looking in. I always felt different from other boys. I didn't necessarily even know what was different about me, I didn't know what it was all about. I do remember some interest in mom's bras, panties and heels but I'm not sure if I tried them on. Went out for Halloween fully dressed as a girl one year, I passed back then, even fooled the neighbor. In my teens I read a story about a transsexual woman. That moment the desire to dress, the desire to become a woman hit me full bore. I've never been the same since. That article, I believe, finally gave voice to what was inside me begging to get out. Also like Marleena I've paid a high price for years of suppression. I now have come to grips that I'm beyond CD.

[GBJoker]

I think I might skew the statistics...

From what little I can piece together of my former life, it never even occured to me to dress in female clothing until about 2007ish. Maybe late '06 at the earliest. I didn't know it was called "crossdressing" until '07 at the earliest. Also, far as I can figure, I never had those "outside the group/wrong person/want or need to be different/etc" feelings that can be directly pinned on being a transgender. Virtually all come from the various other things wrong with me.

So to answer your question, as best as I can understand what the question is... I believe it's by birth for some, choice for others, and combo both the rest. I chose to crossdress, and I will continue to choose to do so whenever I am able. Just as I make the choice to study the Japanese language to the fullest of my ability. This does not mean it's a "hobby" or similar. I also do not see my crossdressing as an addiction, similar to smoking. I choose to dress or not to dress, but I don't do it purely for "fun," but because... I dunno. It's definitely not a habit, addiction, or any other synonym, and I don't view it as a hobby or something cool to do every once in a while like a roller coaster at Six Flags. I dunno, I'm all messed up, really.

KellyJameson: To put it bluntly, I'm having problems with your sixth paragraph. Not because I hate it, oh no. Rather because I've lost any self identity I may have had, and I have no self identity today because of a few things in my life. But, from what I can tell, it does not seem to stem from being a transgendered person. Maybe it does for others, but not me.

suzy1: Neither can be completely ignored for testing without possibly breaking ethics regulations, obviously. Keep a kid in a box his/her whole life to test genetics, and modify genetics of another person to test life experiences...? Yeah... That's not gonna happen any time soon.