i hope this doesn't sound dumb!! but since i'm still in the closet with the door cracked open a little, for those of you that go out into public, which bathroom do you use??
i think i would be more afraid to use the mens room. i'm not even sure if there are any legal laws about this. the last thing i want is to be arrested for using the ladies room and then get embarrassed and humiliated.
i do hope to venture out soon! any thoughts??
paula
I have found one porta pottie in a public park in town. It's "unisex". I've been to it a couple times. I wouldn't consider the men's restroom except on halloween night and I'm not confident enough to walk into a ladies rest room if there are people around or inside it. There's a park I may visit soon and it has public restrooms, male and female. If I have the need, and if nobody is around, I will use the ladies restroom and see how it goes.
Some stores, malls, and many Walmarts have "family" restrooms that lock so you would be the only one in there. A mall wouldn't be bad (none around here have the family restrooms), but walking to the back of a Walmart to use the restroom might take more nerve than I have at this point.
[SIGPIC]http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/image.php?type=sigpic&userid=82706&dateline=137762 0356[/SIGPIC]Linda
As for many of us and this topic has been visited 100s of times.In NYC you may use the restroom of the gender you are expressing...most other places ie:vegas has the same policy. If you do use the ladies room which I do you need to remember to sit down while doing your business and exit as quickly as you can. Afterall women have been known to use mens rooms at venues.
Once at a movie theater, once at an Applebee's. Both times I was the only one in the restroom. If I'm out and about and need to go, I will use the ladies. I think I'd pee my panties before I go into the Men's room.
And in Texas, it is illegal to use a restroom not intended for your gender[1].
[1]No, I won't argue what that means, you know what it means.
Paula, this is one of the Eternal Questions.
My philosophy is that you don't give anyone reason to notice or worry about which restroom you use. You use the restroom of the gender you are presenting, but you don't loiter there longer than you need to in order to do your business, wash your hands, and exit. It's best to use the restroom right before you intend to leave an establishment. If some cretin takes offense he or she can argue with your back as you walk out the door.
Eryn
"These girls have the most beautiful dresses. And so do I! How about that!" [Kaylee, in Firefly] [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
"What do you care what other people think?" [Arlene Feynman, to her husband Richard]
"She's taller than all the women in my family, combined!" [Howard, in The Big Bang Theory]
"Tall, tall girl. The woman could hunt geese with a rake!" [Mary Cooper, in The Big Bang Theory]
California is also gender expression. I have used many and not had a problem. (Kohl's, Marie Calander's, K-Mart, and smaller venues.)Originally Posted by kerrianne
joank
Southern California
Texas is te same, as strange as that sounds! I'm getting more comfortable with the 'Ladies', but there is still the hesitation. Like everything CD, its best in numbers.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
Not always. While I enjoy organized CD activities, the chance of being made goes up with the square of the number of CDers present. By myself, I have a pretty fair chance of being perceived simply as a tall woman.
OTOH, some uppity boyfriend will usually think twice before confronting a half-dozen 6'+ CDers
Eryn
"These girls have the most beautiful dresses. And so do I! How about that!" [Kaylee, in Firefly] [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
"What do you care what other people think?" [Arlene Feynman, to her husband Richard]
"She's taller than all the women in my family, combined!" [Howard, in The Big Bang Theory]
"Tall, tall girl. The woman could hunt geese with a rake!" [Mary Cooper, in The Big Bang Theory]
I use the restroom for the gender I'm dressed as. If you're dressed but wearing a beard, I might consider using the men's room.
If you are presenting as a woman, use the women's restroom. But, put the seat back down if you choose not to sit...because, I would be the girl coming in behind you and falling into the toilet.
"Today a young man [...] realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration...that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively...there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Here's Tom with the Weather.”-Bill Hicks
“What freedom men and women could have, were they not constantly tricked and trapped and enslaved and tortured by their sexuality! The only drawback in that freedom is that without it one would not be a human. One would be a monster.” East of Eden by Steinbeck
Yea, I had not really thought of that, but I agree. I also believe I do better passing, really blending, on my own. But there are a few girls in my group that are quite pretty and I have no problems being with, it makes me the ugly girl in the group, but we still appear to be girls.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
Plenty of places over here in Los Angeles have stopped people I know from using the Ladies Room, including The Edison, Das Bunker, Bar Sinister and other clubs. Presentation is not the be all, end all to this question. Context and Situation make a significant impact on the right answer.
Keep in mind that a CD does not have the rights that someone transitioning may have and a CD shouldn't assume they have that right. Can it be done without making a scene and without calling attention to yourself? If not, then you will be seen as a pervert. If you are asked to not do it, you should comply. And don't lie about being a TS.
—Mikaela
I work as a male but dress in between sexes and use the male restrooms. There have been a handful of times when I exit a stall with men in there who I do not know (there are between 800 to 1000 employees) and will look at me then I am guess they are thinking a) what is this female doing in here b) is this the mens room?
When out in public I use the female restrooms roughly 80 percent of the time, as others have mentioned, go in, act normal, do what I need to and head out.
Sine I am always tucked I never use a urinal bit always use a stall
SRS January 27
First off Paula, I haven't been out away from the house long enough for the fluids to run through me... LOL. However, to minimize the 'issue' I'd use the family rest rooms. Until someone tells you as your heading into the men's room, "hey ma'am, that's the men's room", I'd stick with scouting out the stores ahead of time and make sure you know which ones have family restrooms.....
Then again, I suppose you can always pull over and run into the woods like a guy, I guess..... LOL.
Renne.....
I live in New Jersey, and here it's protected by state law that you can use which ever restroom in the gender you present yourself in.
The best answer for those who don't pass: If you can find one, use the single user (one person at a time in there with a locking door) bathroom!
And since you are in NY, I believe it is still illegal for you to use the 'wrong' bathroom on state owned property.
That's funny, I liked that.
A lot of places have family bathrooms; which would be an excellent choice. I will use the women's restroom, but it's best to go in do your business and leave. The one scary thing, for me, is if there are kids around. I've heard where a father was waiting outside of the restroom for his daughter and a TG person came out of the restroom. Situations like this can go bad. I don't want anyone thinking about me having any bad ideas about kids. Even though you did nothing wrong, just having to deal with an unpleasant situation would be something that would like to avoid.
Dana Ryan
Be careful...check the laws for where you live... in some states you must use the bathroom of the sex that you represent on your license, here in Michigan, by law I am supposed to used the mens room, however many places have allowed me to use the ladies room... (I asked if they were comfortable with that)
That is not correct. California law does not make a distinction in this regard. The terms used are "gender identity and expression" which encompasses both the CD and TS groups.
Eryn
"These girls have the most beautiful dresses. And so do I! How about that!" [Kaylee, in Firefly] [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
"What do you care what other people think?" [Arlene Feynman, to her husband Richard]
"She's taller than all the women in my family, combined!" [Howard, in The Big Bang Theory]
"Tall, tall girl. The woman could hunt geese with a rake!" [Mary Cooper, in The Big Bang Theory]
you and me both Shannon
Danni
Many of the places that my SO goes to have a one person bathroom designated Female, and this is what she prefers to use. You'd be surprised at how many restaurants have such bathrooms. My SO does make a point to know how the restroom facilities are configured wherever she goes, and if there is no other choice than to use a well populated women's bathroom (such as in the main part of a mall), it is not a place that she will use all that often. She prefers to take care of business before we get there, and she won't drink a huge amount of liquid while she's out.
We tend to go to several places when we are out, and so it isn't that difficult to time things so that she can use a bathroom that she feels comfortable in. Chances are that 95% of the time no one will say anything (if there are other women present in a larger restroom), but my SO is a cautious sort who feels more comfortable not chancing that someone will say something if she is read.
When we are at TG safe places such as GLBT clubs, bars, or events, she feels no qualms about using the women's bathroom even when there are women in there.
Reine
Hi,
Use only womens & being a woman i cant use the other what's its, a sit only detail.
...noeleena...
thank you all very much for your input, very helpful...i love a good sense of humor, and i'm still laughing. why is there no "LIKE" button for some of these comments!!
i'm sure this topic has been brought up 100's of times as new members come in, and as a new member myself, i apoligize for what seems a boring question to you, because it is a major concern for me. as vickie pointed out, it might be illegal where i am, on state owned property!
I forgot to mention, one can find a list of safe single user restrooms in one's area at safe2pee.org, isn't technology wonderful?
womens 999 imes outt of a thousand
but then again will use mens if line too long at womens. (they will just have to get used to it) most women will
Danni
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