Changing perceptions

[Ineke Vashon]

I am discovering that my newly discovered cross dressing adventure is not just about putting on a blouse or a skirt. *It seems to be changing my mindset as well. *A mental journey onto a new, unfamiliar road, perhaps? *Hmmm, never seen pink asphalt before .

The realization of what’s happening is changing my perceptions. My viewpoints, opinions, and especially prejudices are being challenged almost overnight, including feelings I suspected but kept under strict manly control, trying to unhappily live up to what the ideal man should be like. I find myself looking at women in a new, unfamiliar way. I read Helen Boyd’s “My husband Betty” to learn more about cross dressing. I learned about the female mind instead!

I am beginning to suspect that the mind changes along with the dress. The dress seems voluntary, but my mind seems to change all by itself. Interesting. Little scary too.

Ineke

[DanaR]

My mind doesn't change with my dress. But one of the things that I noticed over the years is that I've become more aware of female issues. I try to be more understanding of my wife and issues that are important to her. I never had a big understanding of the macho thing, and it is even less more.

[KellyJameson]

That to me is the best part. It may feel scary and disorientating but you are not losing yourself but discovering what is already there but has been shut down and ignored. When we live outside our natural balance it is like a pendulum that has swung to far in one direction so now will swing to far in the other direction until it settles in what is your own natural position.

Many of those viewpoints,opinions,prejudices were not really yours but what you learned from others. Crossdressing in my opinion is an act of self discovery, the problem is trying not to hurt others in the process because self discovery brings change.

I have found reading about non-duality versus duality and Yin & Yang helps bring clarity. Without the eastern viewpoints such as the Tao and Zen I would have had a much more difficult time understanding what I was experiencing.

[ReineD]

I am beginning to suspect that the mind changes along with the dress. The dress seems voluntary, but my mind seems to change all by itself. Interesting. Little scary too.

You might want to give some thought into feeling this way when you're NOT dressed. See if you can do it without altering your appearance. Then you'll be who you've denied yourself to be, and it will be OK.

It's OK to like the same things you like as a girl, and think the same things you think of as a girl, when you're in guy mode. Not all men are cut with the same cookie cutter.

I'm not saying you shouldn't dress. Just trying to suggest ways you can be happier when you're in guy mode.

[danielle.cd]

you know for me it can almost be called maturing , teens go thru there stage then the 20hen 30 s and so forth , i think cd ings kinda like that at some point you just mature in it and find yourself wanting different things out of it . a

[Ineke Vashon]

You might want to give some thought into feeling this way when you're NOT dressed. See if you can do it without altering your appearance. Then you'll be who you've denied yourself to be, and it will be OK.

Thanks for confirming what is indeed happening, Reine. I am pleased that it is so.

Never too old to learn.

Ineke

[Karren H]

Nothing really changes when I change my clothes but my looks. Including my prejudices... Bigotry is still at the top of my list followed closely by stupidity!

[jillleanne]

Just a continuation of the evolution. Hold on and enjoy the ride.

[sandra-leigh]

I've seen pink asphalt in California (Yes, really.)

I think I've seen it a couple of other places as well, but I do not recall where.

[kelliT]

Changing perceptions for me indeed. Before my wife knew I would dress all the way and of course an occassional underwear. But now, she's encouraging me but not ready to see Kelli full. So now that I can shave, paint my nails wear only womens underwear I have to change perceptions. It's hard for me because part of me feels like little things like that aren't enough or only the partial kelli, but I'm experiencing new things. Such as lounging around the house with known items that feel good. This morning I came to work with a bra with padding and a womens brown sweater, although I'm wearing a vest over to mask. I don't know how things will play out, but taking what I can get at this point.

[stacycoral]

That to me is the best part. It may feel scary and disorientating but you are not losing yourself but discovering what is already there but has been shut down and ignored. When we live outside our natural balance it is like a pendulum that has swung to far in one direction so now will swing to far in the other direction until it settles in what is your own natural position.

Many of those viewpoints,opinions,prejudices were not really yours but what you learned from others. Crossdressing in my opinion is an act of self discovery, the problem is trying not to hurt others in the process because self discovery brings change.

I have found reading about non-duality versus duality and Yin & Yang helps bring clarity. Without the eastern viewpoints such as the Tao and Zen I would have had a much more difficult time understanding what I was experiencing.

wow, kelly is tell you how it really is, Take your time, it a learning curve, you will know when it right to dress at what level. It is a true great feeling to release the girl inside of us. Not that we have close the maleside, There is not cookie cut for cd that i know of , I love that Reine jsut the term becuase i felt like i have never have fit into that cookie cutter anyway. Ineke jsut enjoy your new life and be careful with it.

[Carlene]

For me it might be better described as a change in the fundamental essence of myself. I truly like the softer, more caring person I am becoming. Dressing is one part of the experience but it is only one aspect. Don't get me wrong, there is nothing better than a new pair of panties.....(:-), but I'm finding that there is so much more to being a CDer than just pretty clothes. As time passes, I am listening better, accepting the differences found in all people, and so on. There are too many changes happening to include them all. The most important of these changes may be the growing feeling that I am a part of the world, rather than an individual proving himself to the world.

I have difficulty thinking of myself as Carlene because I see myself as changing, not becoming someone else. Having said that, Carelene is evolving into someone I very much enjoy...........Hugs to all

[docrobbysherry]

Personally, Ineke, I don't get how changing your clothes can change your thinking. However, it COULD ghet even MORE confusing!

Apparently, changing clothes can change your SEXUAL ORIENTATION, too! That's what some girls here claim, anyway!

[suchacutie]

Ineke, adventure is the word my wife and I have always used for Tina. It's an adventure we discovered together and we live it together as well. In order to fulfill that adventure, Tina needed to learn what it's like to be a girl and a woman. Growing up as a guy we don't learn any of that, and the revelation is truly life-changing.

But, isn't that a lot of the adventure?