How do I (we) refere to myself (ourselves) in this forum?

[Krististeph]

Hi girls, umm guys...? Babes? Ladies???

Hopefully this first line communicates my question-

(and i've been doing really bad in selecting the correct forum, so apologies if this is wrong, again)

I'm just talking about us here at crossdressess.com- I've made some friends here, and a lot of you have answered questions i have posted (THANK YOU SO MUCH!), so if i start another message greeting us as a collective, what should I call us?

I like being referrerd to as a girl, or any version thereof. It makes me feel included. i know I am not technically female- but when dressed, that's what i mentally align myself with.

so the final question (as opposed to answer) is:

when i greet everyone here, do i say "Hi Ladies" or "Hi Girls!" Or do i choose (please no!) "hi folks"... ?


P.S.- after writing this question- i kind i realize the answer, but i still would like input on how we as crossdressers refer to ourselves, both here and in public, or any other forum you desire to specify. Thanks girls, sisters!

-kristi

[Noortje]

"Girls" seems to be the most common usage. I myself do not care for it much, because I am usually not a girl when I use the forum, and because maybe it's a bit weird when a bunch of men call each other "girl"?

When writing on a forum, it's not really necessary to open with "hi everyone", or for that matter, to sign off with your name. You can view it more like writing an article for a newpaper. Those don't start with "dear reader" either. But I don't think anyone will hold it against you, if it's your style.

[JessHaust]

Yes, 'Girls' is really the easiest and most approbate. Oddly, when I was a teenager in the '70's there was a time when it was popular for the guys to address all the other guys as 'Girls!'. Maybe that's what did it!!

[Krististeph]

"Girls" seems to be the most common usage. I myself do not care for it much, because I am usually not a girl when I use the forum, and because maybe it's a bit weird when a bunch of men call each other "girl"?

When writing on a forum, it's not really necessary to open with "hi everyone", or for that matter, to sign off with your name. You can view it more like writing an article for a newpaper. Those don't start with "dear reader" either. But I don't think anyone will hold it against you, if it's your style.

Hi Noortje! YES, this is exactly what I want to hear- for us to talk about! I too feel a bit wierd about it- but hey- i don't have the guts to posts a face avatar yet like you- but yet it is so obvious we are acting at girls when we talk here. it's a real mind-muddle (to say it politely). I hope some of the senior member here tell us to use the feminine forms or they'll kick our butts- I'm sure people her run the gamut of feelings and opinions-

Thanks so much for replying- I am dutch by ancestry, I hope you can really enjoy being yourself there, it sounds pretty cool in so many ways! thanks sweetie!

-kristi

Yes, 'Girls' is really the easiest and most approbate. Oddly, when I was a teenager in the '70's there was a time when it was popular for the guys to address all the other guys as 'Girls!'. Maybe that's what did it!!

i remember that- it was cool in the urban or metro (metrosexual?) areas- but not in rural wisconsin where i returned to to go to high school every fall. i had great summers in bigger cities- gender-teasing was cool there- not in rural america. :-(

Thanks Jess, you are a DOLL!
-kristi

[Shelly Preston]

[SIZE="4"]Please Note

Not everyone is MTF on this forum.

We do have Guys (Men) here as well as Girls(Women)[/SIZE]

[LeaP]

The polite thing to do is to use nouns and pronouns that match presentation. If one presents here with a female or avatar, then use female terms. I'm sort of indifferent to "girls" vs "ladies" as nothing is usually intended either way.

You will occasionally see people in the forum choose to use "guys," "gentlemen," etc. to make a point, but this can be loaded, so be careful. It's fine to use male terms in context (e.g. referring to, say physical issues and medical care).

Lea

[Karren H]

I hear women say "hey guys" when chatting with a bunch of other women... So I don't think it matters as long as it not what I consider derogatory... Like "gurl". I hate that term for some reason... But that's just me... Personally I like to be greeted "hi Karren". Vs "hey you ho bag". But again... that's just me! Lol.

[RenneB]

From one carbon based life form to another, it really doesn't matter. However due to this situation that I was born with I prefer to be one of the girls.

On this site, I've been called girl, sister, lady and the other day on the street it was "hey doll". A few ma'ams are okay too. I agree with the other poster that there are real guys on this site also or FTM guys. So if I'm presenting as female that's just the way I like it.

When I'm in malemode though, I really dislike being sir'd. I guess it comes from my military days as an enlisted grunt that didn't care for the 'sirs' tell the rest of us what to do.

So there you have it ladies.....

Your friend....

Renne....

[Suzy Parker]

My designation is 29,287 of 32,383 welcome to the collective.

Sorry, a little Star Trek humor there.

I think when discussing things like dresses it may be ok to say Hey Ladies"
"Ladies to me is preferable than Girls"
And for general discussion topcis maybe just something like "Hey Everyone"

2 cents

[Marleena]

When referring to any MtF I always use girls, or ladies.

When here I think in girl mode. Any MtF is a girl to me. I sure don't want to call a guy pretty or beautiful..lol.

[Andy66]

Thank you, Shelly.

Krististeph, thanks - it's very considerate of you to care about calling people what they want to be called. I was just reading a thread about how some of our genetic men like to wear women's clothes, but don't actually identify as women. They would rather be called men, guys, gentlemen, etc., and they feel sort of out of place when threads are directed at only ladies. Some of our transmen sometimes feel similarly left out. I think in most cases it might be best to leave out the greeting altogether, or make it inclusive. Example - ladies and gentlemen, girls and guys, fellow carbon based life forms, etc.

[kimdl93]

I don't particularly care for "gurl", but I'll answer to most anything. I prefer to be referred to as "she" or "her" if a pronoune is needed!

[ArleneRaquel]

Just be sure to call me for dinner. Really " she " is fine with me, at one time I hated the term " gurl ", but now I don't really care.

[Barbra P]

Hi Kristi

I’m relatively new here too, having been a member for less than a year, and I have absolutely no idea what crossdressers-dot-com was like at its inception. Now I think that crossdressers-dot-com is an unfortunate name for the site because this site is so much more diverse than just a social site for crossdressers. Look at some of the forums, Transmasculine, Transsexual, Loved Ones, even FAB. So Shelly is correct, there are guys and girls here (from both genetic genders representing both genders), transsexual males and females, as well genetic male and female members.

However you chose the “Male to Female Crossdressing” forum for this thread and that forum’s description is “This forum is for those interested in discussing all areas of male to female crossdressing.” It could probably be assumed that the majority of the members on this forum are male to female crossdressers and as such they are interested as presenting as female, either in private or public. While the site name is crossdressers-dot-com, this forum seems to most closely embody that image. My personal view is that this forum is primarily for MTF crossdressers, although we do have visitors that are GGs or genetic males presenting as males, who may be visiting this forum seeking information. There is a private forum (FAB) for GGs (Wives and SOs) of crossdressers, and a forum specifically for “spouses, partners, family members, friends, etc”

I can’t speak for any of the other members but I enjoy being addressed as Ma’am if I’m out en femme, and I seriously doubt that I’m alone based on the many posts from other members I have read. I, like many other members, use a feminine name here, a girl’s name, so being addressed as “girl” seems appropriate. I’ll use a member’s feminine name when addressing a reply to them specifically but I don’t use a group salutation when starting a thread.

I’ll also mention that like Kerren I don’t much like “gurl” which I think is a debauched rendering of “girl” and derogatory in nature. I know that most of the time that is not the intention of the poster, but for me personally the word is demeaning.

[Ineke Vashon]

I'd as soon start a post with "Hello everyone". Hello Folks seems to be the preferred greeting by used car salesmen. I definitely do not like "gurl". If I address someone in person I'll use the name given on the forum.

Ineke

[Lynn Marie]

[SIZE="4"]Of course I like "ladies" and "girls", but when I feel I need to differentiate between us girls and gg girls I'll use the term "gurls". I like to as accurate as I can. Sorry some of you don't like it.

Like the old saying goes you can call me anything as long as you don't call me late for the high heel shoe sale at Nordstroms.[/SIZE]

[stacycoral]

When referring to any MtF I always use girls, or ladies.

When here I think in girl mode. Any MtF is a girl to me. I sure don't want to call a guy pretty or beautiful..lol.

My designation is 29,287 of 32,383 welcome to the collective.

Sorry, a little Star Trek humor there.

I think when discussing things like dresses it may be ok to say Hey Ladies"
"Ladies to me is preferable than Girls"
And for general discussion topcis maybe just something like "Hey Everyone"

2 cents

Watch for Suzy, she is a BROG, yes if your in the right forum, you can use the word Lady or Girl, some other you can't. Personally I feel like a girl here even if i not dressed while being on.

[Katie83]

To be honest i don't really mind how i'm addressed as long as it's not unpleasant or rude. So Katie preferably or girl is fine with me.
Katie

[minalost]

For me, the point of this forum is to be able to express my Fem side and to be related to as Feminine. As such I love to be refered to as "she" "her" "lady "girl"... That being said I know some don't like this form of address as they really don't identify as female even though they like woman's clothing. I try to split the differece: when I'm addressing the "the group" I'll say something like "hi everyone," but when I'm speaking to an individual I'll try to use the form of address that I think is appropriate. The problem with this is that, without guidence, I might guess wrong. In any case I don't think ANYONE here is being intentionally derogitory by their form of address and that we should all take this sort of thing in the spirit it is intended.

[Gillian Gigs]

Through the kinsmanship of having the same interests, we are sisters of a sort. Being called sister draws on a sense of being a part of a family, not your typical family, but still a family. We help one another out and thence we are sisters from the same sorority.

[Vanessa Storrs]

I was en femme when I drove up to the window of my neighborhood coffee stand. The lady greeted me with "Hi Beautiful." Made me feel really good. I like to be called "Girl" or "Girlfriend" and am not fond of "Sis" or "Sister." If you are posting on a thread which includes both genders use gender neutral words.

[meganmartin]

Girls or ladies seems appropriate however as one other person mentioned there are guys / men's so it depends on which group you are addressing.

Another side note i notice next to my name it states " junior member" does that mean i can shop in the junior section now....LOL

[Kate Simmons]

I usually prefer to leave gender out of it, except maybe for the sake of reference. I usually say:"Hi (insert name), how are you?"

[Rianna Humble]

I'm just talking about us here at crossdressess.com- I've made some friends here, and a lot of you have answered questions i have posted (THANK YOU SO MUCH!), so if i start another message greeting us as a collective, what should I call us?

In the specific Male to female forum, I think tht it is reasonable to address the collective membership as girls or ladies. Whilst the men are welcome to take part in the discussions and bring a different perspective, the majority of those reading and posting will either be women (genetic or trans) or MtF cross-dressers.

If you venture into other forums on the site, it may be better to be a little more circumspect as forums such as "Loved Ones" and the Transsexual forum are for both genders; and Transmasculine is mainly for our FtM brethren although they graciously allow us to put our oar in.

Equally, if you want to address all readers (even here in MtF), then it is probably best either to leave off the greeting or to use a neutral term such as "Hiya" or "Hey everyone" or your preferred variation on that theme.