Are you real?

[Anne2345]

I am a male. Yet, presented with the opportunity, I don the apparel of a woman and present the face of a female. Is it a masquerade? Is it just an illusion? Am I even real?

I am a male. Yet, I wish I had been born female. A majority of my time is spent within my birth gender. I feel wrong in so doing. But not one day, however, passes that I do not contemplate the wrongness of my gender, womanhood, and my lot in life.

I am a male. I can pinch myself and feel pain. I can rub myself and feel comfort. I can caress myself and feel pleasure. I can see myself in a mirror. I can feel the nick of a razor as I cut myself shaving the masculine away. I believe that I am real enough, yet I am not really who I desire to be.

I am a female. Yet, despite the reality of my feminine persona and psyche, my true gender is a false reality. I am not who I would be. I am not real.

Who are you? Are you content with simply crossdressing, or do you desire more? Are you real? Are you who you would be? Or would you be someone else?

[kimdl93]

Wow, Anne, that's a tough question. I have so many of the same feelings, and questions about myself. At times, particularly those rare occassions when I must present as male, I feel that I'm masquerading as one. And all physical signs would suggest my maleness.

But in my heart and mind, there's a different reality. With each passing day, I attempt to live in a manner that is true to my heart. In that respect, I feel that I'm becoming more real every day.

[moondog]

I find this almost too easy to answer:

I do not know who I am.

I desire more than simply crossdressing.

I am not real.

I am not who I would/should be.

I would be someone else.

[Amanda22]

These are such "core" questions. I absolutely feel I have a soul mismatched with a physical body. What people see (male body) is not who I am inside. Since I can remember, I've felt somehow short-changed when it comes to identity. Like you, every single day of my life has seen me pondering this situation. Crossdressing relieves the pain of my situation, but the pain is always there and will never leave. I've long envied boys who are masculine and girls who are feminine because to the largest degree, their outsides match their insides. What a luxury. That's the vast majority of peoples' starting point in life, but I never and will never even get to "square one!"

So in order to deal with myself and see the positive of life, I say that the real me is really a complex mixture that no one understands except another transgendered person.

[Karren H]

Yeah! I'm the most real person I know!!! . Reality is user definable.... Imho.

[NicoleScott]

I absolutely feel I have a soul mismatched with a physical body. What people see (male body) is not who I am inside. Since I can remember, I've felt somehow short-changed when it comes to identity.

Forum: Transsexual Forum
This forum is for those with the external genitalia and secondary sexual characteristics of one sex, but whose personal identification and psychosocial configuration is that of the opposite sex.

[LeaP]

You are all too real, in each and every aspect you have described. The alternative explanation for what is essentially a tragedy is not unreality but that you are crazy. Not that the situation isn't driving you crazy, but that's different. You're not crazy.

So, physically male - real

Psychologically, emotionally (etc.) female - real

False front - real (real phenomenon)

Dressing - real behavior

Conflicts and dysphoria - real

It's the reality that's doing you in, Anne.

I'm as real as you are. And about as pleased.

Lea

[Lucy Furr]

I am Portuguese, from the Azores. The women in my family are strong, and hard working, almost masculine. But when there is a wedding, party, or something like that they become very feminine. Flowery dresses, heels, make up. I believe that is what I am. I work like a man when necessary, and am feminine when I can be. In this sense I know who I am, and its real.

[LeaP]

Sorry to spoil the party of woah and chest beating but I am quite happy being me. I have a bit of a sideline that gives me a buzz if I am in the right mood and .....that's it. No angst. No waking up in the wrong body. Just an unusual interest. So yes I am real.

Glad to hear you are real. So, apparently, is the lack of empathy.

Lea

[Foxglove]

I can pinch myself and feel pain. I can rub myself and feel comfort. I can caress myself and feel pleasure.

Yes, Anne, you're very real. If you weren't, you couldn't do any of the above.

You're just in a real dilemma, which we all understand here. It's a dilemma that I haven't wanted to face or have decided to face at times, depending on the season or my moods or who knows what else.

Is it an illusion? If we're illusory, then so is the entire human race. There was after all some ancient Greek philosopher (I forget his name) who proved that nothing exists. I'm pretty sure he was wrong.

Best wishes, Annabelle

[Dana7]

What an interesting and introspective thread. I find myself on both sides of the fence at times, being real and yet sometimes not feeling real.

There are times when being male has many rewards. Self assertion, dominance without feeling overbearing, self determination, and of course, machismo. (to a reasonable degree) Even just relaxing as a guy can be rewarding, being able to be sloppy and generally grungy without guilt definitely is a plus when it's time to be laid back as a guy. That's something women seem have a much harder time with.

And then there are times when being feminine has its own distinct rewards. From the physical, the sensual, and the external, to the emotive, the intuitive, and the sensitive internal aspects, feeling like a woman many delights.

I prefer to enjoy both, each in their own season. And for what it's worth, during the moments I'm in each respective realm, I feel real in both.

[JessHaust]

I am real, and I am me. I like me.

When I'm in girl mode, I try to be the best girl I can.

But I have other modes as well
Cyclist mode, you know, one of those guys in a pack Bicycles on the weekends with the tight jerseys and spandex shorts, blocking cars on the highway.
Handyman mode, in overalls tearing out and replacing a kitchen, with a blow-torch sweating copper pipes,
Farmer mode, on the tractor putting out hay for the cows.
Camper mode, backpacking 15 miles into some mountain woods for a weekend campout.
Renaissance mode, at the fair in my puffy sleeve trader outfit, sword hanging at my belt.

Theses are all me, and I'm glad I have them all. Would not give up any one for the others

[Kerigirl2009]

I am me, but not the me that I should probably be. The problem here is I want what I have right now (male mode) I love my family. Now If I was out to everyone and they where able to still love me as me only the real me (the woman that I hide inside) then my life would be alot more filled with happiness because then I could truly be happy on the inside as well as the outside.
So back to the question? Am I real. my answer is this people know me as Kevin and he is real. However, I could be a better person if they also knew the other side of me (Keri) Becasue then I could stop hiding who I am and give my true feelings and opinions.

[suchacutie]

Hmmm, I've never experienced anything "simple" about crossdressing. The first day I was just showing off my legs. Suddenly we were looking to buy me a dress, and Tina was the most logical thing in the world.

I have no trouble at all seeing the reality of both of my genders. Neither is a masquarade, and neither is in "costume".

My two genders are different...sometimes very different...and maybe that's what makes it all so logical for me, and what makes them so real!

Just ask my wife! She'll tell you about the reality of both of my genders!

I have no doubt that yours are just as real!

[Marleena]

I see another thought provoking thread about your inner struggles Anne.

As for me, I'm as real as it gets, gender dysphoria and all lol..My signature tells it all. I'm okay though when Marleena looks at me in the mirror, she is me. In a perfect world Marleena would be 24/7. I have a wife and family though, so I need male mode to finish this life. It is what is.

Like Joe Cocker says, "I get by with a little help from my friends" here.

[Julia_in_Pa]

Oh yes, I paid the price to be real starting on December 11th 2006.


Julia

[Loni]

define real please.

my finger hurts..does this say i am real? or am i just a figment of my imagination...if that is the case i am having a very long nightmare.
i need to wake up and put on a cute dress and go someplace.

[kimdl93]

I wasn't asked for empathy. I was answering the original question. Do you think it was an original post asking for bleeding hearts to unite in their sorrow at the unfairness of life, or was it how you feel about yourself.
OK I will try again.
"Oh woah is me. I am desperately unhappy too and life is crap so I know exactly how you feel."

That's a bit harsh, SR. Over the past few months, Anne has been pretty open in talking about the emotional challenges she's faced as she tries to come to grips with being transgendered. And her post simply attempted to express the ongoing conflict that many of us feel. And honestly, if we want to let our hearts bleed a little, that's ok too.

[Cheryl T]

I need a drink...........

I dress, therefore I am, I think, ... at least I think I must be....

[JessHaust]

I wasn't asked for empathy. I was answering the original question. Do you think it was an original post asking for bleeding hearts to unite in their sorrow at the unfairness of life, or was it how you feel about yourself.
OK I will try again.
"Oh woah is me. I am desperately unhappy too and life is crap so I know exactly how you feel."

You know, if you don't like the post, just move on. Please don't feel obligated to post a reply.

[meri]

Anne,
Not real here. My view is spirit in body, in essence, I view my body as something that I encounter life on Earth with. Like a diving suit, a tool, nothing more. I always take good care of my tools, so I take good care of my body too.

As to gender, an illusion, something to accommodate and allow us to create bodies for other people that also want to life and "grow" on Earth.

Problem is we tend to get caught up in our bodies and over-identify with them and begin to think they are the real "us". Truth is, my body isn't the real me anymore than my wetsuit is.

That being said, I enjoy playing with gender and my body and if I had a closet full of different bodies, I would wear a different one each day.

[jayme357]

What an interesting question. It seems almost an "Alice in Wonderland" kind of statement. I would think that the definition of "real" is different for every one of us, and since we are all very different, that seems to be a good thing. If we are to have peace of mind then we have to have the privilege of deciding what is right (real) for us. If I had to guess I would say that many if not most of us have found a place where we can enjoy all facets of our lives. There are days where the femme side seems to be where we want to be, but there are other days where we are really happy to be up to our elbows in (fill in the blank). My problem stems from my inability to convince my SO that I really don't want to actually be a woman. She is convinced otherwise. The fact that I get so much pleasure from my dressing is probably misleading so I can understand her concern. I am two different persons. When I am Jayme I am [U]very[U] happy. But when I am the other guy in the house I am pretty happy too. (If that is really true why do I underdress every day). "Tis a dilemma for sure. That there are nearly a million messages on this site speaks volumes.

[Amanda22]

Hey Scarlet Rose, I don't think anyone resents how you feel. At least I hope they don't, because that wouldn't be respectful. I actually think it's a blessing to feel the way you do about your gender identity. I didn't choose to have a gender identity issue; it just happened. And I suppose the phrases "born in the wrong body" or "woman trapped in a man's body" have become cliche, but it is my reality. Honestly, I really am glad you are so self-assured with who you are. Thanks for bringing your viewpoint.

[NicoleScott]

A lot of beating up on SR for answering the question as it was asked: Are you satisfied? Yes. I wasn't born in the wrong body. No angst over it.

My first post was an attempt to point the way to the forum more appropriate to support such issues. I don't understand why threads like this don't get moved.

[GBJoker]

Hmm... I guess I'll go in order, in order to maintain... orde-- Whatever.

1: Who am I? I am... Many things, and nothing. Obviously, one can describe me with a variety of words (adjectives, I think...), but none of them feel true. I feel unable to actually define myself.

2: Content with simply CD'ing? At this moment... sort of...

3: Am I real? No. Not in the slightest, I think... Based on a rough definition of "real" from how you seem to be using it in the post... So, no. Definitely not real here.

4: I am not who I want to be. At the same time, I'd hate to be any one else. Every one else's life just feels... Easy.