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Thread: How much of your feeling do you realy share with your SO?

  1. #1
    Aspiring Member Janelle_C's Avatar
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    Red face How much of your feeling do you realy share with your SO?

    My wife is very supportive, but she does not know all of my feeling that I hide deep down. All she knows is that I like to dressup like a woman and that it makes me feel good. Since I've been coming here I have started to open up a little more I've talked about going out and she does not know how she feels about it. She does not know that I wish I was a woman sometimes not always she does'nt know the half of it. I'm afraid to tell her to much, but I told her that I'm nervous about my therapy becouse I don't know how my feelings are going to take shape. I'm slowly trying toget her to know that there is more to my feelings. So how much of your desires does your SO know?

  2. #2
    The best of both worlds Kathi Lake's Avatar
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    I think she knows my desires, but often fears that it is much more than that.

    Kathi

  3. #3
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    I think about 5% of it but she is a real girl, has intuition, probably knows a lot more and chooses to keep it to her self.

    OT but seen as an add in the local paper:

    FOR SALE: Encyclopaedia Britanica. Not now needed. Hardly used. Got married........Wife knows Bl....dy everything !!!

  4. #4
    Gold Member Marleena's Avatar
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    Mine is supportive. I don't hide anything from her because she understands me. She lets me be me but I don't overwhelm her with this part of me. At least I try not to.

  5. #5
    Momarie GG Momarie's Avatar
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    How long have you been married?
    [SIZE="4"]Momarie[/SIZE]

  6. #6
    Aspiring Member Janelle_C's Avatar
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    I've been married for 30 years.

  7. #7
    Silver Member DanaR's Avatar
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    My wife knows all about me. I just don't keep secrets from her. She knows all about the she in me. Neither of us are interested in being apart, so that isn't an issue.
    Dana Ryan

  8. #8
    Aspiring Member Nicola2876's Avatar
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    I can see why you are worried. Hearing "I like these girly clothes" is worlds apart from "I want to be a woman".
    I wouldnt rush into telling her everything just yet.

  9. #9
    Gold Member Marleena's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shy Girl View Post
    She does not know that I wish I was a woman sometimes not always she does'nt know the half of it. I'm afraid to tell her to much, but I told her that I'm nervous about my therapy becouse I don't know how my feelings are going to take shape. I'm slowly trying toget her to know that there is more to my feelings. So how much of your desires does your SO know?
    I agree with Scarlet, and Nicola here. You're not sure where you are going with this yet. Therapy should get you the answers though, then you will need to come clean with her, or at least you should.

  10. #10
    Is my slip showing? Rita D's Avatar
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    Has she known you like to dress for the entire length of your marriage, or did you tell her at some point afterward? When you told her about the dressing did she ask if you were gay, or wanted to be a woman? Those are often the next questions. I know they were when I told my wife about wanting to dress about 6 years after we were married. If she HAS asked you these questions and were not truthful at the time-I would especially wait until you have things sorted out for yourself, before you mention it to her. Good luck!

  11. #11
    Silver Member DanaR's Avatar
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    If you are unsure of your feelings, don't tell her. But she needs to be part of any decision that you make. What I've seen within this community, is people on the fast track to become female. This is sad in so many ways, it usually has given their families no choice in what is going on.
    Dana Ryan

  12. #12
    Making a life for Tina! suchacutie's Avatar
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    My wife and I started the adventure we call "Tina" together from the first moment. She is Tina's mentor and confident. She asks probing questions and I give complete answers. I ask her questions about everything feminine and she gives me complete answers and support. It really is a wonderful and loving world!

  13. #13
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    Recently a friend of mine wasdescribing his fiancee's apprehension about his stag night (in Aussie) and he commented that if it could be half as good as what his girlfriend probably had in her mind it would be awesome.

    The morale is that we can reassure and discuss things to the nth degree, but until our SO's come to terms with what we do/are then all the reassurance in the world will do nothing but reinforce the negative image they hold in their minds. Eventually with time and open conversation can these fears be removed. Unfortunately for some this will never happen as they see the man in a dress as a betrayal of sorts. They feel they have lost the man in their lives when all that has happened is the outer packaging has changed. The feelings etc from within are the same but sometimes it isnt enough.

    I hate having to my feelings to myself and recently my wife said she was worried when we went shopping that I was shopping for me not her. We shop alot together for her as I am brutally honest about what does/doesnt work or fit right, but recently she has felt like it is less about her. Maybe she is right and I am living vicariously through her but we did this before I started dressing again and it was all okay. She knew the first time - took me to a place where I could dress, makeup,wig etc - Fetish boutique , gone now... - she tolerated it because it was limited to underwear and only very seldom, but now its different (10 years have passed I guess) and we have grown up more. Perhaps she has become accustomed to my male self and the old/new CD reappearing is shaking her confidence in me. I guess its hard because she has no-one to talk to about it and mayeb talking about it will make it too real. I dont know her mind and how it works, only been married 21 years so not enough time to figure it out yet (LOL - might take a 1000 years to do that).

    I hate not being completely open and honest but when she wants to talk I will. For now its baby steps and she makes those steps with me holding her hand if she needs it. To be honest I dont know entirely how I feel about CDing most of the time and depending on my mood it changes too. Perhaps it a mix of this and the rest of life blending together that makes things complicated.

  14. #14
    Aspiring Member Dawn cd's Avatar
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    One question is "How much of my feeling do I share with my SO?" and a second question is How much of my feeling do I share with myself? Because our feelings are still evolving, and we don't know ourselves where they are leading or what they mean. Why should we share something that is a mystery even to us? Our feelings come and go, sometimes they are stronger and sometimes weaker. We wonder if it is prudent to make an issue out of something that may go away completely. In this situation, we equivocate and keep silent...and are blamed for that silence later.

  15. #15
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    My wife knows EVERY feeling and thought I have about crossdressing. I hid one secret long enough, I hide nothing now. You Needto be honest with your wife

  16. #16
    Senior Member Kelli Ca's Avatar
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    I try to be as open with my wife as I can Now, our marrige is stronger now that this last little secret of mine is out something was missing in my relationship, it was honesty.

  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by DanaR View Post
    My wife knows all about me. I just don't keep secrets from her. She knows all about the she in me. Neither of us are interested in being apart, so that isn't an issue.
    ditto ditto here as well.

  18. #18
    Junior Member sweetjan's Avatar
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    I don't hide anything from my wife. It has been her support that has helped me the most.
    We have a honest marriage and we are both very happy about that.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  19. #19
    a bit nutty
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    I'm too chicken to tell her EVERYTHING, and she's too afraid to ask. She knows much of it, but I have a hard time telling her it all.

  20. #20
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    My wife knows nothing about what I'm dealing with.

  21. #21
    Sweetie shawnsheila's Avatar
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    My wife is still coming to grips with it and the topic does not com up very much other then her occasionally mentioning it to me. I am traveling at her pace with my CDing right now

  22. #22
    Platinum Member
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    She knows what I know. As for dreams, wishes or fantasies, we share those too. And I know she would have a difficult time if I actually sought to transition.

  23. #23
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    MY SO know everything, they have to know everything. If they don't know everything, I don't know their reactions and feelings.
    Its not fair to the SO to be used as the ultimate fashion accessory for a normal appearing life.

  24. #24
    Member Kali's Avatar
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    She knows everything I know, and I try to answer any questions she asks openly and honestly (sometmes, I don't know the answers).

    I think that's the only way you can avoid being in the position of some of the people that are posting here about the dissolution of their relationships.

  25. #25
    Senior Member Laura912's Avatar
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    My wife knows but she does not totally get it. Educating you SO can be a bit like driving on ice with bald tires...be wewy wewy careful.
    Laura

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