Growing up as a child, I recall the work my mother put into the household simply to keep it moving, well-organized, and afloat. Although both of my parents worked, my mother was a traditional housewife in the strictest sense. She cooked and prepared all of the meals, cleaned, took care of the children, performed the shopping, and took care of my father.
Without my mother’s guidance and leadership on the home front, all would have been in chaos. My father, as well-intentioned and a hard worker as he was, simply did not have the skills or ability to make it work himself. Of course, this meant that my mother was hit with the dual burden of juggling both a fulltime job and the responsibility of managing and taking care of the home, which were no small tasks.
Upon reflection of the dedicated, hard work she performed, along with raising three children, I am in awe of my mother. She is a wonderful, fantastic person, and gave it her all to be the best she could be without complaint. Frankly, I would admit that I have no idea how she did it, except that I do have an idea. In fact, I have a very good idea of how she did it. I have a very good idea because I find myself playing the role of the traditional housewife, and a similar role to that which my mother played. And in all reality, whether I previously recognized it or not, this is a role that I have played for many, many years now.
Fortunately, both my wife and I are blessed with fulltime employment and fulfilling careers. Between the two of us, we do relatively well and cannot complain. My wife, however, works longer hours than I do. As a result, and seemingly based upon some unspoken but assumed rule, the responsibilities of the household fall mostly upon me.
In this, I do all of the cooking. I do much of the cleaning. I take our daughter to the doctor when she is sick. I pick our daughter up from school every day, and take her to her extracurricular activities. Further, I ensure that our house remains well maintained and organized. I do all of the grocery shopping. I invite my daughter’s friends over, and chaperone the events. During my daughter’s infancy, I changed more diapers than my wife could ever imagine doing. My wife, bless her heart, is a fantastic mother and partner, but she is not the traditional house wife. I make the household work. I occupy the role of the traditional housewife. I am a traditional housewife.
Of course, the irony is not lost upon me - I am transgendered. I dress in the clothing of the opposite gender. I purchase, own, and apply my own makeup. I wear dresses, skirts, blouses, and female jeans (sorry Karren). I have my own bras, panties, and breast forms. I own jewelry and wigs. And I actually want to be a woman. I do not, however, seek out additional duties, chores, and work because I am transgendered, it has just kind of worked out this way.
But please, however, do not mistake my belief that the responsibilities and division of labor within a partnership should not be divided equally and fairly based upon a couple’s circumstances – they should be. In my mother’s case, it was not a fair division of labor. In my case, it is not a fair division of labor. Traditionally, it has not been a fair division of labor. And yet, here I find myself – I am the traditional housewife. I doubt that I would be so accepting of the situation if I were a stereotypical male. Of course, despite the occasional points of contention over this issue, I am anything but the stereotypical male, so the point is rather moot, I suppose . . . .
I cannot help but wonder, though, whether I am accepting of the role because of the example my mother set as a woman, and my own transgendered proclivities. My mother, of course, was the primary female within my life growing up. I looked up to her. I respected her. I love her very much. Could it be that I am trying to emulate her as a result of some kind of reverse social conditioning based upon being transgendered?
Interestingly enough, my wife’s mother was also a traditional housewife, and played virtually an identical role to that of my mother. Yet, my wife is all too willing to forsake and leave any such similar role in her life far behind. So what does this say about her? What does this say about the strong relationship we have? Knowing my wife as I do, I simply cannot see her in such a role. So in this, is it possible that my being transgendered allows us to actually maintain and further solidify our relationship in some bizarre, reverse gender role manner?
I am not sure, but in any event, I am curious - are you the “traditional housewife” in your household? Or do you have a more balanced, evenly scaled division of labor? What works for both you and your SO?
Originally Posted by Anne2345
), but when it comes to the ironing ... oh, I'll never get the hang of it, it takes me AGES
.. it's me who gets out the vacuum cleaner 9 times out of 10, though.
