Pretending to be a cute little girl on the playground/jungle gym (+bought pantyhose!)

[Ava Tryptyk]

I have a funny (and slightly scary) story that happened today that I wanted to share with you all. My personal story isn't directly related to CD'ing since I wasn't actually dressed en femme, but it is related to the feminine/girlish identity that I am striving for. This post is going to be a long and descriptive one, and I'm going to be rambling and rambling, but if you don't want to read the whole thing, the summary is that I always fantasize about being a young girl and having fun on monkey bars, so I decided to play on a set of monkey bars in a yard in Russia (en drab...), I got my foot stuck, a random guy helped me get out, I almost lost my keys and cell phone but eventually found them in the snow after having my hands freeze up. Then on the way home I bought myself my first pair of panty hose.

BACKGROUND

So some of you who have been following my posts may have noticed that I have a strong interest in playing on playground equipment, particularly monkey bars and jungle gyms that I can climb on and hang upside down from. It's something that girls do a lot, both little girls and teenage/adult girls. When I was that age as a young boy, I didn't like playing on monkey bars much because the feeling of being upside down and suspended above the ground was kind of scary for me. While back at home (still as a young boy) I would say to myself, "It's time to work up the courage to just do it and hang upside down", but when actually out in the open playground, the sight of those high bars looked too intimidating for me and I just tended to avoid them. Then the high school and college years came around and by that time none of my friends played on the playground, because people simply don't play on the playground at that age, except for occasional girls who just want to relive nostalgia. I, of course, also no longer played on the playground, but I still had dreams of climbing bars and being upside down and enjoyed watching YouTube videos where girls played on the monkey bars - I wanted to be them, I wanted to be a young nimble girl and climb all over the bars without embarrassment or people looking strangely at me!

Well, during my last year of college I once decided to do something. There was a tiny little park not far from my dormitory that I hardly ever saw anyone using, so at around 5:45 AM I got up and headed over to the park. There wasn't anyone around since it was early in the morning, which was good. There was a small horizontal metal bar held together by two wooden poles; with nervousness I sat myself on the bar, took a breath, leaned back and enjoyed the upside-down sensation that I had been too chicken to enjoy during my childhood. I was hanging, and when it was time to get down I surprisingly smoothly flipped down from the bar. I did this a couple times that morning and then said that it was enough (so as not to draw attention), and quickly headed over to a cafe to get some breakfast. I didn't do it anymore while I was at college because I didn't want anyone finding me as a "regular" there, because that would be kind of weird and creepy from most peoples' views.

Then I came here to eastern Russia this year. The thing about most Russian cities is that residential areas with apartments made in the Soviet Union (where I live, that is the dominant style) usually follow a certain pattern. Buildings with apartments surround a small park area that includes a playground. Usually there is a swing set, a thing with stairs and a slide (don't know a better name for it), some of those horizontal bar things that you can hang upside down on, and sometimes sometimes carousels that you can spin with your feet. Generally in these cities there are hundreds of these mini-playgrounds, unlike American cities where they are usually only in public parks (which often don't allow adults to come and play on playground equipment for fear of pedophilia, creepiness, etc.) Well, in Russia you don't often see kids playing on the playground, because there simply aren't as many kids (the birth rate is low). So it isn't too weird to hang out at the playground in Russia, and people in their teens and 20s often hang out and sit on the benches.

MY STORY
Today I went to help out with an English lesson, and when it was over I passed by one of those mini-playgrounds. Except, this one was different...it had monkey bars - the kind where you climb up, you can hook your legs to the top and then hang upside down freely. I had never been upside down on those before (too scared). Well, I was feeling ballsy today so after doing some pull-ups on a nearby bar, I decided to go for the monkey bars. No one was around, as usual. So I climbed up the bar, wiping off the snow and ice from the bars (keep in mind that where I am right now, it is -36 Celsius, or -32.8 Fahrenheit. Quite cold!!) I slowly inverted as I climbed, hooked my legs to the top bars and then slowly let go. I enjoyed the sensation for about a minute, feeling the rush and enjoying the fun upside-down view. But then it was time to get down...uh-oh. My feet wouldn't budge, since I was wearing heavy winter boots. I wriggled and wriggled and managed to get one foot out (only after having my cell phone and keys fall down into the snow). I dangled for a while with one foot stuck. One older woman who was walking by yelled (in Russian; I'm just giving a rough translation), "Your stomach is exposed, you're going to catch a cold!". She probably thought I was really crazy or stupid. Then a younger guy came up and asked me if my leg was stuck and needed help getting out. At this point I didn't care about looking stupid, since my leg was hurting and I was cold, so he lifted my leg out and I fell right down into the snow (which was cold, but at least it didn't hurt). I thanked him and he went on his way. Then I spent a few minutes in a half panic-stricken mode looking for my cell phone and keys, which I eventually found (though they were extremely cold to the touch; so cold that they were frosty and sticky...). Then I started going back home, warming up along the way. I was grateful that the guy didn't make fun of me or anything, since I looked silly as hell. I was also grateful that no one decided to snag any of the belongings that I had carelessly left on the ground as I made my upside-down adventures that lasted longer than I had wanted, heh.

I BOUGHT PANTYHOSE!!!

Well since I had already made a mini-spectacle of myself in a mini-playground, I figured that I shouldn't really care about looking sillier/stupider today, so I decided - before I go home, I'll run to the supermarket and reward myself with a set of pantyhose, which I had never bought or worn before, but have heard great things about. I needed to buy more deodorant and toothpaste anyway so I figured that I'd kill two birds with one stone. I got the items, went to the cashier, paid, and that was it. One about cashiers (and most people working in public service areas in Russia) is that they don't make excessive comments; they only ask/say what is necessary. In this case it worked to my advantage, since I didn't have to do any explanations. Immediately after arriving home, I put the pantyhose on...it's simply wonderful. What in the world have I (and most men) been missing for 23 years? It feels wonderful against my skin, and if I could get away with shaving my legs right now I would totally do so. I'm wearing the hose right now under my jeans (they actually do help keep me warm), and if I'm feeling particularly courageous I might underdress one of these days. It's important for me to take baby steps at this point.

Anyway, that's my background and story. Sorry if it wasn't an interesting read, or if it was too long, and I know that a significant portion of this isn't directly related to cross-dressing, but it's a big part of me and my feminine and CD mentality, and buying the pantyhose was a big milestone for me. I also have a question - have any of you wanted to dress up not as an adult woman or a woman your own age, but that of a cute little girl? When the time comes to solidify my "look", I want to have more of a cute look than a sultry look, even though my masculine features will of course cause some limitations.

[Aloha Jayne]

Great story Sveta! I loved it. You've got an amazing amount of courage just to be outside in Siberia, much less playing on a playground. And even though you weren't dressed, you knew what the feeling would be like, and one day I'm sure you'll be able to experience that for yourself. But wait until you're back home where it's warmer! And congratulations on buying your first pair of pantyhose. I have always found that if you act with confidence, no one will question you. And if they do laugh, I just laugh right along with them. I've played on playgrounds many times as an adult male just to act silly, and really don't care if I get strange looks. Not sure if that is cool to do in Russia or not. I'd say you took a great big baby step!

[Misskelly]

Sveta , Great story . There is tons of " women " who dress in young girl clothes this is labeled in society as sissy . They like to dress in cute clothes the either look like what porcelain dolls would wear or clothes there mother dressed them in when they were young children . There are tons of sites that sell these kind of clothes . Some of them even want to live there lives as children have giant cribs they sleep in drink out of bottles and such there even a lot of literature or stories written by people that enjoy this lifestyle . If you type the term in sissy in google you can find all kinds of stores that cater ebay also sells a lot of there dress I would give you links but not sure that is allowed so if you want to send me a private message I can give you some links for place where people who are labeled sissy can find out more info and such

[Ava Tryptyk]

Great story Sveta! I loved it. You've got an amazing amount of courage just to be outside in Siberia, much less playing on a playground. And even though you weren't dressed, you knew what the feeling would be like, and one day I'm sure you'll be able to experience that for yourself. But wait until you're back home where it's warmer! And congratulations on buying your first pair of pantyhose. I have always found that if you act with confidence, no one will question you. And if they do laugh, I just laugh right along with them. I've played on playgrounds many times as an adult male just to act silly, and really don't care if I get strange looks. Not sure if that is cool to do in Russia or not. I'd say you took a great big baby step!

Thanks for the reply, Jayne! If I were dressed, the experience playing around on the bars would be even more exciting! Though it would have been more embarrassing trying to get down and I might have had to answer some questions. I don't know if I'll have the patience to wait until I'm back home, though. At home there are no places like this within walking distance of where I live (I live with parents/grandparents), I don't have a car or drivers' license, and as far as I understand, doing this kind of thing in the US can raise some eyebrows, unless I do it early in the morning or make it look like it's part of a workout routine (I know that some people do use playground equipment for pull-ups and other exercises).

In Russia I think it's all right to do what I was doing, minus getting stuck. In Russia a lot of people say that it's healthy to hang upside down from time to time; some say that it helps you become taller due to stretching your limbs, some say that it's simply good for your brain and circulation. I'm not sure how much of this is true, but if someone were to ask why I was doing this, I could use this as an excuse. In Russia it's not unheard of to use playground equipment as workout equipment - it's free, compared to joining a commercial gym that requires paying money, and Russians often look for freebies when possible. Of course, you should always exercise basic precautions - don't do it at night, and don't do it in dangerous parts of the city. If you see that there is a group of people in their teens/early twenties sitting on the benches (or squatting) with beer, cigarettes, sunflower seeds and using inappropriate language (for this one it's good to be able to speak/understand Russian), wait until they leave, or find a new place. People like that belong to a "thug" subculture in Russia that is better not to get involved with. I wouldn't recommend dressing en femme on the streets in Russia unless you are either very passable or you are with friends that can protect you - from what I've seen Russians (at least in Siberia) are far less tolerant of gays than Americans are, and even though we all know that most CD'ers are not gay, I don't think that many Russians understand this, and I seriously doubt that the street thugs know or care. For this reason (and also because of the cold), any dressing that I might do while I'm here will be at home.

So in general I'm not going to be playing upside down on that particular set of bars just because I don't want to get stuck again. I'll content myself with doing flips on horizontal bars and mixing it up with pull-ups just to appear more "normal" if people are looking at me from afar.

Sveta , Great story . There is tons of " women " who dress in young girl clothes this is labeled in society as sissy . They like to dress in cute clothes the either look like what porcelain dolls would wear or clothes there mother dressed them in when they were young children . There are tons of sites that sell these kind of clothes . Some of them even want to live there lives as children have giant cribs they sleep in drink out of bottles and such there even a lot of literature or stories written by people that enjoy this lifestyle . If you type the term in sissy in google you can find all kinds of stores that cater ebay also sells a lot of there dress I would give you links but not sure that is allowed so if you want to send me a private message I can give you some links for place where people who are labeled sissy can find out more info and such

That's pretty interesting, and I've heard a fair amount about people who choose to live their lives as babies. That's not for me though, my biggest fantasy would be to be in the body of a preteen/teenage girl. The clothing I want to wear should be "cuter" than what a typical adult woman would wear, but not baby-like. So if you have any links for men that want to look like preteen/teenage girls, that would be awesome and I'd love if you could send me something along those lines (if you know any links.)

[RuthieER]

Sveta, I know exactly what you are talking about! I, too, have a pre-teen side to my femme personality, and I love wearing girls clothes that look like cute adult fashions. I also like some of the latest trendy tween styles that aren't all "frills 'n' lace." (Although frills 'n' lace can be heavenly to wear as well!)

Ruthie

[Ava Tryptyk]

I went to the monkey bars today again and this time I brought my camera along with me. I did some pull-ups on one of the horizontal bars but I decided to forego hanging upside down on the part of the bar where I got my foot caught yesterday; I'll be passing by the same park tomorrow so I might end up trying to hang upside down on the horizontal bar, the only thing is that if I let go with my arms I don't know if I'm going to fall off the bar and slip. The advantage of the bars I used yesterday is that even though I had the bad experience of getting stuck, there's still an 100% guarantee that I won't fall down when I'm hanging upside down.

I have some minor burns on my hand from the day when I posted this. Everyone, remember that if you're going to play in extremely low temperatures, never take off your gloves for an extended period of time, and don't touch the snow with your bare hands. You'll regret it. My hands actually don't feel too bad but there's some redness which makes it look worse than it is. But I'm sure that with time all will be normal.

I'm adding a photo of the bars that I took today. My fantasy would be to be dressed up as a girl hanging upside down from the bars, and have someone take a picture of me. Well for that to work I would need to be in a warmer climate, have privacy (or be at a park where no one is around), and find a place to put my camera as I make the timed photo/video. I'm going to keep my eyes peeled for spots that I might use here when the weather gets warmer (it's going to be some time before that happens). Or one thing that I might do, is set the camera under the bar so it will be looking up at me when I am hanging. But whatever! At this point I'm just thinking out loud.

Here's the photo: