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Thread: A crack in the shell

  1. #1
    New Member Janicedouglas's Avatar
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    Red face A crack in the shell

    Ok don't laugh too hard at me, but even though I have been dressing off and on since I was 8, I really don't know what I am doing. I live in an uber conservative state (Indiana USA) and don't have any "girlfrieds" to help guide me. I am too scared to go seeking a mentor or playmate becuase in Indiana it is a very easy way to wind up beaten to a pulp for being a "freak".

    I love dressing. LOVE dressing. I will occassionally shave everything but my forearms and it feels amazing. (until the stubble... god I hate the stubble phase) I will underdress in at least panties almost everyday. I seriously have like 4 pair of boy undies for the gym and a drawer full of panties. I will also on occasion wear full outfits under my regular clothes while at work. When I'm at home and no one is heading over I will dress all the way into my nylons and high heels. But I don't have any wigs, I don't have any makeup, and I really don't know where to even begin on either.

    I can't seem to find a good resource online that I can virtually try on wigs to see what style would complement my facial structure, and I am way to scared of redneck reprisal to hit one of the local wig shops. As far as makeup goes.... I never learned that skill set since I had to be so descrete growing up that I couldn't even read the fashion and "girly" magazines I wanted to without catching a royal beating from my older brother.

    So I guess this is it. I am 30 and finally getting my big girl panties on and going to a public forum setting and laying my scared little tush on the line. S.O.S ladies. Can you help a young girl find her way? If you are in Indiana I would love to meet sometime to chat and get advice. I tried CL to find a chat friend but got 500+ emails from guys just wanting to have sex with me and no real help. Here's what I am looking for. I need help finding wigs in styles that would help femme my face. I need makeup advice literally from the foundation up. (I know stage makeup since I did that for years, but really does not translate well to dressing unless I a want to look like a victorian era harlot) And I could use grooming/ hygene help like crazy. I really do not look too femme and have been working like mad to start fixing that in one venue. I have recently lost 160lbs and have a bit more to go. I however have a bunch of muscle from my old sports days etc. Any tips or regiments that you can recommend to help reshape would be a miracle.

    Well I think I have rambled on way too long. If you are still reading, thank you. I hope you ladies can help and if by some miracle there is a sympathetic matron near Indianapolis that would be willing to meet and help guide me I think I might cry. Thanks a ton and have a blessed day ^_^

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Karren Hutton's Avatar
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    I'm not laughing! We all went through the same thing. To get to where we are now. Pretty much.
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  3. #3
    Style Icon Sara Jessica's Avatar
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    The most important advice that comes to mind is to move. I cannot imagine living in such a place, if it's really as "redneck" as you describe (and I have no reason not to believe you).

    That said, you have put out quite a list of things you need help with. You might want to focus it a bit and I think many will reply that it'd be easier to help you with a picture as a reference. But it sounds like you have a good foundation (pun intended) in that you have makeup experience. It seems such knowledge should translate well into the world of regular cosmetics.

    Good luck!
    Like a corpse deep in the earth I'm so alone, restless thoughts torment my soul, as fears they lay confirmed, but my life has always been this way - Virginia Astley, "Some Small Hope" (1986)
    Sunlight falls, my wings open wide. There's a beauty here I cannot deny - David Sylvian, "Orpheus" (1987)

  4. #4
    Future Crazy Cat Lady josee's Avatar
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    Almost all of the help you seek as far as make up and such can be found on youtube. There are a bazillion make up videos there. Some of my favorites are petrilude, Kandee Johnson and Jessica Who.
    https://www.facebook.com/josee.k.moore
    On my way to being whole.
    Jessica Katherine Moore

  5. #5
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    First, welcome. The first reach out is hardest. For those of us who are married, we have been able to "see" the makeup process for years. Even with that it is still hard to "do.". Here is my basic starter advice:

    Body: weight loss is key, women are just smaller than us. Also, shave your legs, arms and hands! Forearm and finger hair is just not something women ever have.

    Wig: chose a color that matches your own more closely. This way your eyebrows won't stand out. Choose a length that you prefer,but know that long hair is really hard to get used to. As for a style, that is really personal preference. I chose this bob cut in my avatar because it helps hid my jawline and I just liked it. Paula Young wigs aree a good place to go and I have also found that Headcovers.com is great.

    Makeup: you need Dermablend to hide beard shadow. It's amazing stuff. A tiny bit covers your whole face. You can buy it at the Skin Store and other places. Get a translucent setting powder for covering the dermablend. I like Saphora for most of my make up but you can get this anywhere. Basic black eyeliner and mascara canbe bought anywhere from on line to your local grocery store. I prefer to use a fine brush to apply eyeliner rather than a pencil, but my wife likes the pencil. For eyeshadow, the easiest thing to do is buy a smokey eye kit. Almay, Maybaline, other make these. The advantage is that the color combinations are preset for you, like Geramimal clothing for kids. You will also need a eyebrow pencil. Lipstick can be bought anywhere.

    Jewelry: you need some basics. Clip on earrings are available on Amazon but I prefer Nordstrom's or Macy's as the quality is better. Basic hoops will cost $10 or so. Get a matching color necklace and bracelet or bangles. You can't mix gold with silver, for example. Amazon is also good here.

    As for putting it all together? It takes practice. Have fun and feel free to ask questions.

  6. #6
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    Hi. I live in southern indiana. I go out on occasion as Sarah and have had very little trouble. There were a couple of times,but....I figure the soldiers have died for my freedom, too. I guess you are about 2 hours away from louisville. If you are willing to go that far, you can find a wig shop to suit your needs. It's a good city for tg people( but it's got it's bad spots as well). Plus, you probably won't run into anybody you know.I have yet to buy a wig. I don't get the urge to leave the house very often and I tend to grow my hair long. I have been thinking about getting a wig so I can have a more feminine style. As far as makeup? I am not good at it at all! I think I pass better without it!

  7. #7
    Silver Member RenneB's Avatar
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    Welcome to the club Janice. I'm with Jenifer on this one. The list could go on for pages thought and some of us have even written books about it. Everything from the outside appearance, to walking, sitting, talking, to the inside and gettin right with your female brain....

    Pick a subject and let's have a go at it.....

    Renne.....

  8. #8
    My Ship has sailed? Barbara Ella's Avatar
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    The feeling of being alone is the hardest thing to shake, and you are shaking it big time just be being here. The rest will come, at least I hope it keeps coming. The forum here have a wealth of information, so spend some time going back through the various threads and you will begin accumulating knowledge, and feeling more comfortable. Youtube has a wealth of videos on makeup. I will never look like the people in them, but the tips certainly help me. Your experience certainly gives you a leg up on the rest of us. Use the forum as your friend, and have fun.

    Babes
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    I may never get to fly like the other girls, but I do so want to dance, so I continue to climb.

  9. #9
    GG Misskelly's Avatar
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    I will gladly help I tried to send you a personal message but you need to make a few more post before I can 10 in total . Sometimes Just having someone to speak too and lean on help . As many have said Don't go to long on your wig to start start short get use to it As for help with wigs one that frame your face is normally best so you can blend in more . Feel free to message me once you can
    My favorite motto's ." Live life to the fullest" , "Nobody is gonna stand up for you but you so live you life how you want" , “Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.” , Be true to yourself

  10. #10
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    Welcome to the forum, Janice.
    You have definitely come to the right place. We have entire forum dedicated to Beauty (makeup, hair removal, etc.) and I seem to pick up a good tip or two per week (I'm kinda new myself, but there are pages of threads).

    Actually, I've found the entire forum to be interesting and helpful, and there are people willing to help with any questions you may have.

    And who knows, maybe the Victorian Harlot look will come back into style and you'll be giving us pointers
    -Tanya

  11. #11
    Gold Member Diane Smith's Avatar
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    Indianapolis has several active gender organizations, a couple of nice nightspots, and a plethora of great places to shop. I've come to prefer driving to Indy for a day out over Chicago these days -- they're about the same distance for me, but getting around is much easier in the smaller city. You could start at http://ixe-in.org/ -- this is the Tri-Ess chapter in Indianapolis. The Fashion Crossing mall on the north side of town is great, including three of my favorite stores (Nordstrom, White House/Black Market and MAC). Talbott Street and Zonie's Place are friendly clubs if you're into that scene. I don't go walking through bad neighborhoods by myself (very often), but I've encountered no problems from the natives at all. Mainly, I think you need to make contact with a few supportive people in the area (or one of the organizations) to get the "lay of the land" in that area. I find it to be a very friendly environment for the most part. Feel free to PM me if you want to talk further.

    - Diane

  12. #12
    New Member Janicedouglas's Avatar
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    Wow... just wow. I know I have a ton to learn, but your flood of support has made me feel like tearing up in a good way. I have lived with this in silence for over 20 years and thought I would never be able to talk it out with anyone. I am thrilled to be proven wrong. ^_^ I will deffinitly look at all the suggestions you guys made and will even work on getting a picture on here for advice. (Really need to shave and clean up a bit first though) Thank you all and I truely look forward to getting to talk to you all a whole lot more.

  13. #13
    Fishers by Indianapolis switcheralso's Avatar
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    [SIZE=3][/SIZE]
    [SIZE=3]Welcome to a great forum. I have been on for a few years it is a great placeto share information.[/SIZE]
    [SIZE=3][/SIZE]
    [SIZE=3]Your story is very straightforward and at least you are learning about yourselfat a young age compared to myself. Ilive in Fishers and I would say that at my age I just keep enjoying myjourney. I work hard in the real estatebusiness in Fishers and luckily, I have a great female business partner that Ihave shared my secret with and she is supportive. [/SIZE]
    [SIZE=3][/SIZE]
    [SIZE=3]We have been shopping at the Dress Barn and it makes it a lot more enjoyablewith a female friend. I very much cherishmy friend and business partner. Shewould be open to meeting with you and shopping if you ever want to shop indrab. Feel free to private message me ifyou want to chat.[/SIZE]
    [SIZE=3][/SIZE]
    True
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    “A friend is one who knows us, but loves us anyway”
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  14. #14
    Platinum Member
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    Here's a place to start on wig selection, based on facial structure: http://www.e-wigs.com/face-shapes.html

  15. #15
    Aspiring Member marny's Avatar
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    I think we all cry from time to time. It's a long road
    regent,

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