What thr beep?

[Pinky188]

So, a crazy thing happen to me today at work. I am standing in at a shop that is one of 8 in my state, whome I work for. Im doing this because I severed the tendons in my finger so I cant turn wrenches. The company put me here to help get it running corrctly. (Its a new shop with new employees). I get along with everyone there except this one guy. So I was looking over a car with that one tech. An Audi. (Which is my fav!) He apparently didn't like me being their and let me know! He started getting loud and irate! Well, I know I shouldnt have but, I told him to calm down. It was then that he REALLY started yelling at me! At that point I, (Yes me, The freak!) called him a freak for over reacting, he is an insecure/immature person. So thats when it happen! Now remember, Im standing in at this shop temporarily. I have only known this dude for a few days. But, thats when he yelled as loud as he could, "Im not the freak! Your the one who likes to dress like a woman!" Everyone heard! I was like... "Did he just say that? And how does he know?" I just walked away. The topic never came back up and everyone else kept on treating me as normal! But Im so wondering, is that just a random cut down, or does he know about me? I cant think of one reason how he could know. Im baffeled!

[WsprsOnTheWind]

Could it be that he does know somehow and that is the reason for his angst against you? You know how the fear of the unknown makes people last out in anger. Next time he says something about you dressing like a woman tell him that maybe if he tried it he would be calmer and not go off the deep end as much. It's worth a try. lol

I have lusted over an Audi A6 for years now. <sigh>

[karanne]

As you haven't (to your knowledge) given him any reason to suspect your 'girl' side, it could be he was shooting in the dark. More importantly, I think by simply walking away it may have confirmed it.

You may want to try the diplomatic approach to this guy. Buy him a cup of coffee and see what his problem is. I'm assuming you're in 'guy mode'. Does he just not like you for some reason? Does he feel passed over - that he should have gotten your job? Is he having troubles at home with the wife/kids/inlaws?

Sorry, I'm a Mercedes girl ...

[Pinky188]

Ha!! Girl, thats funny!!! And YES! I love my A6!

[WsprsOnTheWind]

OH, I want one that you can manual shift or automatic.

Tell him that you can still kick his a$$ with 3 inch nails and 7 inch heels any time he wants to take it out back and you will show him who the better man is. lol

It sounds like he was too on the money about the dressing to have been shooting in the dark.

[Allisa]

Wow that would "freak" me out too.I remember when a "freak" was just a guy with long hair.Does anyone else know about your CDing?You should have just given him a limp wristed middle finger as you skipped away.
Lisa.

[Pinky188]

OH, I want one that you can manual shift or automatic.

Tell him that you can still kick his a$$ with 3 inch nails and 7 inch heels any time he wants to take it out back and you will show him who the better man is. lol

It sounds like he was too on the money about the dressing to have been shooting in the dark.

Oh, he would totaly kick my a#&!!! I would never do that! Im not a fighter!!

[Pinky188]

How did he know? No one else I work with does. I act like a total boy at work. Im confused!!

[Pinky188]

Karanne! M-B? Come one girl!

[Cherry Lynn]

I received the same remark from a sales associate at a supply house I deal with several weeks ago. I do have peirced ears and long hair but I ride a Harley and a lot of bikers have peirced ears and long hair so I do not know if someone outed me to him or what.

[prettytoes]

Maybe he is also a member here....you never know!
IMO...he hit the nail right on the head, doesn't sound like a stab in the dark. Maybe he knows someone that knows, and got some inside info on you.

[Pinky188]

Maybe he is also a member here....you never know!
IMO...he hit the nail right on the head, doesn't sound like a stab in the dark. Maybe he knows someone that knows, and got some inside info on you.

That would be crazy!!

[WsprsOnTheWind]

But he doesn't know that and most bullies back down when confronted. I was kidding anyway. I wouldn't advise ever starting a fight. It's always best to walk away.

[sterling12]

Perhaps he "dabbles," as either an admirer or as a closeted CD. Perhaps he picked up on some subtle clues that anyone not part of The TG World wound miss.

Like? Do you remove hair from your arms? Do you pluck your brows? Do you "underdress," and could he have spotted some colorful panties, when you bent over? I think it's got to be something that cuts him close to the bone.

How long is your tenure going to be at that place? If your The Boss, you have to have a quiet talk with him (with a witness present,) and establish some Ground Rules. Fights in The Work Place are not tolerated, and insubordination to a boss normally gets you fired.

Now, you might be in The Process of being evaluated for Management. So, how you handle this situation might be important.

Peace and Love, Joanie

[sandra-leigh]

How much does gossip get around the shops? If you've worked for the same company for several years, then even if there were no Big Things, some people might have put smaller clues together.

Another question would be how different you look when you are Dressed for public? Is it possible that he saw you when you were out for the evening? Or that someone else in the company saw you and word got around?

Any chance he was one of the people who have "hit" on you in the past, and is now The Man Scorned ?

[Genifer Teal]

How long is your tenure going to be at that place? If your The Boss, you have to have a quiet talk with him (with a witness present,) and establish some Ground Rules. Fights in The Work Place are not tolerated, and insubordination to a boss normally gets you fired.

Now, you might be in The Process of being evaluated for Management. So, how you handle this situation might be important.

Thats is how I see it. You need to take the high road. Calling him a freak might have been a poor choice. Regardless, you need to establish that you are the boss, and he, as a worker, stands out as not working well or has some issues. Regardless of his personal opinions of you, he needs to get over it and show he can do his job well.

Maybe he is a loos cannon and has been upsetting the other workers before you came. Don't over look the possibility that there were issues among the workers before you arrived. Hope you sort it out.

Gen

[JessHaust]

Do you go out? Maybe he was somewhere you were, before you knew him. You did say that you have only known him a few days. My group often meets at Gay and lesbian bars, even though few of us are gay. Maybe thats where he saw you?
Oh, and my A3 has the paddle shifters on the steering wheel. It' a dual clutch auto manual. Thats way off subject and nearly as confusing as cross dressing!

[KellyJameson]

Sounds like you are a victim of the company grapevine. That is to specific of an accusation to be an accident in my opinion.

[ColleenCD]

Pinky,

Clearly someone, sometime at your previous work location has learned about you. This is probably someone who was involved in your transfer that shared this information with your new manager who in turn carelessly passed on this information to others at your new location, based on the homophobic reaction by your coworker. I doubt he's a lurker or member here since his reaction was so verbal.

If I were you, I'd let things settle down and observe the looks, questions, comments and behavior of those around you. If no one comes forward, then find an opportunity in private to have a mature conversation with the tech. I'd ask him why he said the things he did. He'll either start the trail of information or be the luckiest psychic on the planet. By the way...this issue treads on HR issues in many states.

Best of luck,

Colleen

[Laura912]

Pinky,
Lots of good advice by everyone. As a supervisor, it would seem prudent to approach him and say we did not start out well. Please come into the office and discuss our interaction. (If he refueses, then tell him he will come into the office.) Start out by asking what in the world made you call me a cross dresser? You may learn something. Open a dialogue. Do not loose your cool. However, based on his initial reaction, do not tell him about you. Let him present his rumors/facts. Tell him sorry, those are wrong. (Assuming you wish to stay invisible.) Ask him what you can do to help him in his work...this can let him know you are not a threat.
Laura

[moondog]

Hey Pinky,

His comment is far too exact to be pure luck because, having served in the Army and worked at a ship yard among other male dominated trades, I can attest that if a guy wants to verbally slam another guy "You dress like a woman!" isn't it...you're a fag, queer, c-ck sucker all come to mind. I have been called many things over the years, but no one has ever said that to me...yet.

Personally I see finding out how he knows or where he got his information moot. He knows and that's all that really matters. Obviously he knew from day one and it's causing him some serious emotional distress, which is why he was treating you that way from the first day you entered that shop. If he's willing to scream this so the entire shop can hear you better believe he's been telling his co-workers.

This is something you need to address with management because he's creating a hostile work environment for you, and ignoring this will not make it go away because he's not going away. Whether you use that as a way to out yourself or not is entirely up to you, but this is something that, in my opinion, will only get worse the longer you're at that shop.

I like the "S" series...especially the S8. Wish I had the money, but then if I did I would have FFS, boobs, and SRS instead.

Good luck.

[LeaP]

) ... it could be he was shooting in the dark.

No in a million years. With guessing like that, the guy should be playing the lottery.

Lea

[Karren H]

Probably something to do with those woman's jeans you wear? Lol. People know more than you think they do. I've had coworkers point me towards the women's restrooms to change into my mining gear and had a VP warn me not to wear heels to work!

[moondog]

Hi Karen,

Should we start a show called "America's Next Top Miner?"

[Misskelly]

Like so many have said that not a normal angry slur so he know somehow there is many options to this but as many have said it better to nip this in the butt in the best possible way before it becomes any worse