Wives

[BeckyZ]

Many posts here refer to wives. Some mention divorce. Is there any chance a marriage can withstand this? My wife has for the most part been supportive. This is mainly due to the relative peace which has ensued since my cross dressing has come out. We are long term married (31 years), children not at home. We have had many rough times due mainly to me filling a role I was not designed for. After she saw that, she accepted but she still doesn't know how deep the river runs. This will come out slowly as I learn more. I know from reading this board that I am similar to many others here so I expect to have similar successes and problems. I do have a stopping point though: if my marriage is placed in jeopardy my transition will stop. I cannot hurt my wife without destroying myself. So, are there any out there who have words to guide?

[Stlalice]

Becky,

Just as there are those who end up being divorced/cut off from family there are those whose S/O's accept and support them thru transition and beyond. From the little that you have told us it would seem that your wife is at least somewhat accepting. My advice is that you go slow and find a good therapist that specializes in gender issues to help you BOTH thru the journey ahead. A good place to start would be to go to the website for the International Foundation for Gender Education at www.ifge.org . They have professional listings for most major metro areas and as a bonus if you call them up you will be talking to a transperson who has been there/done that and will give you good advice. Their magazine "Transgender Tapestry" is also a goldmine of info. Hang in there girl - you can PM me if you want to talk further.

[Julie]

I was told by my therapist that only 10% of marriages survive transitioning. I wish she had told me that before I had started in that direction. I never would have if I knew divorce was almost a certainity.