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Thread: Sad?

  1. #1
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    Sad?

    Ok, i know I've ben talking about keeping my toes done while in college for a little bit now. But today, I went to Kroger and simply could not build up enough courage to buy any nail polish. Is this just some sort of emotional or self-esteem problem? I love having nail polish on my toes (although I havnt bought any before) but I just couldnt bring myself to buy it. I know I can buy it off of Amazon, but I also want to be able to walk into a grocery store and feel comfortable buying it.

    Any advice or thoughts?

  2. #2
    Silver Member RenneB's Avatar
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    Com on girl, that's what uscans are for. Besides, it's coming up on Valentine's day and all you need to do is build up a set of 'lines' in your head if anyone asks. They don't, but it'll give you confidence to head back to the store and pick some up. Heck throw in a red heart card and it'll be just fine....

    Now go out and shop...

    Renne....

  3. #3
    Gold Member ~Joanne~'s Avatar
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    I agree, the U scans are a help for those in the closet or afraid to purchase (what people refer to as) female attire and accessories (yet none of these say FOR FEMALE USE ONLY on them).

    Go to walmart and just grab whatever catches your fancy, pick up a few other items if you need them, and head to the U scan
    Flip Flops were made for Beaches & Bath Houses, We have neither in 2017. Lose the flip flops!

  4. #4
    Member AnnaCalliope's Avatar
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    One of the main reasons I didn't start transition until I was almost 30 was precisely this. Having the confidence necessary to go out and be myself
    regardless of what people thought, or overcoming the paranoia of thinking that everyone is staring at you like the circus freak you really are.

    Heads up. You're not a circus freak. If you start acting like you belong, in most situations, people just take it for normal and go about their business. You might be shopping for a girlfriend, wife, sister, yourself, who knows? If you act nervous about it, people are going to notice. If you act natural, even when inside you may be quivering, most people won't even bother to stop what they're doing.

  5. #5
    Member Richelle423's Avatar
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    Com-on girl! Xmas and Valentines day is the best season to buy girlie things!!!!! Best xcuse is it's not for me it's for her!

  6. #6
    Senior Member Sammy777's Avatar
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    First off - nice name

    Up until now where have you been getting your nail polish fix?

    News flash: There is nothing new or wrong with buying nail polish. Sirens are not going to go off if you do. Teen/College age guys have been doing it for a while without getting run out of town.

    And while you're at it, pick out out a nice color for your fingers too. Have a little fun, you're allowed.

    Check out the Wet -N- Wild line. A lot of colors to choose from.
    Not expensive [.99 to 1.99] and it's found in most food/drug store chains.
    Warning: This post may contain up to 63% post consumer recycled Sarcasm ... or Peanuts."
    "Sammy, really next time do try to make your point without being quite so abrasive." -RD

  7. #7
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    Last week I bought two bras, lipsticks and lip liners at Walmart, in drab. This included a lot of looking and selecting. No one even saw me, and the uscan made it easier, not that I care.
    Go to Walmart at 8:00 AM. You can get whatever you want with very few people around.

  8. #8
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    How would anyone know you weren't buying it for a girlfriend?

  9. #9
    Making a life for Tina! suchacutie's Avatar
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    Wonderful name! I came to understand I'm transgendered late in life, but what I learned quickly is that it's no difference to the SA if I buy something for my wife, or for Tina. Who could possibly know.

    In fact, many will be in admiration of you if you are buying something girly for your girlfriend. They don't need to know you can be your own girlfriend

    tina

  10. #10
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sammy93 View Post
    but I also want to be able to walk into a grocery store and feel comfortable buying it.

    Any advice or thoughts?
    If it helps any, during the length of my marriage my ex went out and bought all kinds of things for me in a pinch, especially when the kids were little and it was a hassle packing them all into the car to get something I had forgotten, or when we were out of town getting ready for events, and I had forgotten something: anything from hygiene products, to nail polish (once I asked him to get the brightest red he could find), to panty hose. He was always the one to run to the store while I got ready. He never thought twice about buying the stuff.

    He also bought me presents over the years: clothes, jewelry, purses, etc.

    So, try if you can to realize it is only your own feelings of guilt that stand in your way. No one at the store cares who buys what or wonders for who it is. Guys buy things for their wives all the time!

    Sometimes I'll hear stories in this forum from CDers who buy clothing, and at the checkout they report being asked, "Is this for you?". This amazes me. Why would a cashier even care? But, if this does ever happens to you, although the chances of it happening are slim, you can choose any one of the following responses:

    1) Yes, thanks for asking! (accompanied with a wide grin).

    2) It's for my girlfriend.

    3) Why do you ask?

    4) ... or you can shrug and not answer.
    Reine

  11. #11
    Silver Member STACY B's Avatar
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    Dont forget ??? Use the OL LIST TRICK ,, Just get a peace of paper an write down a bunch of things an just ad what you want . Then you can go an ask the SA an they will help a guy in distress .
    Yull Find Out !!! lol,,,,

  12. #12
    My name is Carol Julogden's Avatar
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    Sammy, just do it! If I could get away with walking into stores and buying makeup, lingerie and pantyhose in 1969 when I was 18, you can survive buying nail polish in 2012, as it's a way friendlier world now than it was back then.

    You can do it!

    Carol
    My name is Carol.

  13. #13
    Member bridgetta's Avatar
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    took me forever to figure it out.. just do it tho.. do whatever you want.. its better that way.. i keep it in check and dont want to make peoples lives too difficult.. so i keep my private things to myself.. but. just do it.. you are free.. and its just paint .. you can wash it off.. its no big deal.. thats why your compelled to do it.. to find out this simple truth.. its nothing .. its just pleasure..

  14. #14
    My Ship has sailed? Barbara Ella's Avatar
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    the internal fears that are built up over the years are the most difficult to overcome, even when there is no reason whatsoever to fear doing it. At times we are definitely not rational, but we get over it. You will get over it, it will just take doing it once. use a list, buy a box of Kotex with it, go to a female checkout person, and she will think you are a wonderful understanding husband. Go up to the girl during checkout and ask her if she likes this and would wear it if someone bought it for her. Have fun, Life is a lark.

    Babes
    He (she) who would learn to fly one day must first learn to stand and walk and run and climb and dance.
    - Friedrich Nietzche -
    I may never get to fly like the other girls, but I do so want to dance, so I continue to climb.

  15. #15
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    I found it became much easier once :
    A) Accept yourself for who you are and not be ashamed of it. (This is not the same as being "out" though)
    B) Realize most other people really don't care that much who your buying it for.
    C) Look and talk like you know what you are doing and pretty much everyone else will go with the flow.
    So basically it's a matter of self confidence. Or at least it is for me

  16. #16
    Junior Member Raychel Torn's Avatar
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    If I am buying something like nail polish in guy mode and am asked about it I just look them in the eye and in a strong sarcastic voice say "Its for me of course, I just love that color." They take it as a joke and life roles on. If you don't treat it like a big deal they won't.
    Raychel

  17. #17
    Member Vanessa Storrs's Avatar
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    I remember the sheer terror of buying my first things. It gets easier, eventually you realize that the store's Transvestite Alarm will not go off at every purchase you make.

  18. #18
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    Hi Sammy, The truth is the rest of the world doesn't give a Fat Rats A$$ what you buy
    because they are so wrapped up in thier own little world.
    Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~......

    I can explain it to you, But I can't comprehend it for you !

    If at first you don't succeed, Then Skydiving isn't for you.

    Be careful what you wish for, Once you ring a bell , you just can't Un-Ring it !! !!

  19. #19
    Member Eva_nine's Avatar
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    i actually thoroughly enjoy responding "no, its for me" on the rare occasion that i am questioned when purchasing typical female only purchases.

  20. #20
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    Don't be afraid, the first time is always the hardest. There is a host of excuses you can use, valentines, birthdays, mothers day for spouses, going away gifts or needs, etc. Valentines is the best time to buy lingerie of any type because thousands of guys are buying. Sales people expect guys to be buying lingerie at valentines. I heard it is one the times of the year that sales in lingerie spike. The sales people don't care and use the self check outs. Target stores that have the self check outs. Go shopping an hour before closing. Do your shopping and check out 15 minj before closing and use the self check out. They just want you to get checked out as quick as you can and leave, so they can go home.
    When I shopped at Valentines for lingerie, the SA who was engaging me in conversation about my purchases was actually flirting with me and didn't care what it was that I was buying.
    I like my closet, its where all my clothes are

  21. #21
    Senior Member KellyJameson's Avatar
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    It is natural to worry what others may think, I'm often selfconscious about my behavior because I know how cruel people can be and I'm very sensitive to mean, disapproving looks or words but I push myself in the hopes that I will someday be fully free from this anxiety.

    I'm comfortable buying clothing, makeup,polish,stockings but buying heels while dressed in drab still makes me uncomfortable. The beauty of certain shoes takes my breath away and I fear that my emotional reaction gives to much away but when I first started making purchases for myself I was nervous about everything I bought and had very elaborate rituals and excuses to "appear" normal.

    I set goals for myself to confront my fears making each one a little more difficult, it becomes a game.

  22. #22
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eva_nine View Post
    i actually thoroughly enjoy responding "no, its for me" on the rare occasion that i am questioned when purchasing typical female only purchases.
    This just occurred to me: if a cashier even stops to wonder why this man is buying nail polish, a dress, or whatever, then it is because she has an awareness that some men do wear these things. It would never occur to most people that a guy who looks like a guy and who buys nail polish might run home and put it on. lol. So if this cashier has an awareness, there's a possibility that her own husband or boyfriend is a CD.
    Reine

  23. #23
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    Don't feel bad, I went through the exact same thing when I was your age. It took me over an hour of walking around the store to get up the nerve to buy my first bottle of nail polish. It gets easier with time each time you do it.

  24. #24
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    Just get some bright red nail polish and if anybody says anything tell them that it's cheaper than touch-up paint from the auto store, works better too!

    Seriously though, most all of us have gone through the anxiety of purchasing what we felt was a taboo item for the first time, fearing judgement from the cashier. Just put it on your list with other things. If you feel self conscious while looking at all the choices, pull out your cell phone and call your voice mail. Have a fake conversation with your wife/girlfriend----"OK, I'm in front of the shelf, yeah, I see it, there isn't anything to the left, oh, you mean right, yeah, but there's 2 types of plum, a metallic and some other one..........." Make sure you ncall your voice mail so your phone doesn't ring!!!

  25. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by ReineD View Post
    This just occurred to me: if a cashier even stops to wonder why this man is buying nail polish, a dress, or whatever, then it is because she has an awareness that some men do wear these things. It would never occur to most people that a guy who looks like a guy and who buys nail polish might run home and put it on. lol. So if this cashier has an awareness, there's a possibility that her own husband or boyfriend is a CD.
    You know, this sounds right to me, Reine.

    Lea

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