So, the love of my life is leaving me. She is EVERYTHING to me. My best friend! I am devistated!!! I don't know what I'll do without her! She is my rock! I feel so empty and depressed. She said that my crossdressing was never an issue but it really was. If She had told me the truth in the beginning I would have stopped! GOD! I don't want to go on anymore!!!
So sorry to hear... I can believe when my last GF told me it wasn't an issue but I am sure it added to her leaving..
Stay strong.
I do not!! Claim to be an expert on any topic, when I post a new thread or reply on any thread my imput is strickly that of a crossdresser. Not to offend Gay people , Transexuals or any other life style, I am only commenting on one of my own.
Sorry to hear that. Be strong
The reasons that people give for breaking up are seldom the ones that actually cause a breakup. In most cases there is more than one cause. Your CDing may or may not have contributed to her decision.
As you say, you would have stopped if she had said that she didn't like it, but the added stress of keeping a part of yourself bottled up would likely have led to problems as well. It isn't an either-or thing.
Eryn
"These girls have the most beautiful dresses. And so do I! How about that!" [Kaylee, in Firefly] [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
"What do you care what other people think?" [Arlene Feynman, to her husband Richard]
"She's taller than all the women in my family, combined!" [Howard, in The Big Bang Theory]
"Tall, tall girl. The woman could hunt geese with a rake!" [Mary Cooper, in The Big Bang Theory]
Eryn is right. You might have stopped but for how long. Its likely you would have resented her for telling you you had to stop. I also believe it isnt just the one thing that caused her to leave. Even if you had stopped she might have left for a different reason. I am so sorry this has happened to you but you have friends here. I dont have any definite answers but I would be happy to listen if you wanted to talk..
New facebook page feel free to add me as a friend. http://www.facebook.com/?ref=tn_tnmn...00003349942987
Pinky, I'm so sorry that this is happening to you. I can feel your pain. You need someone that you can talk to, a counselor, a trusted friend. Please don't try to go through this alone. You have the support of all us here.
AnitaH
Pinky, I am sorry to hear about your pain. But I agree with Eryn, it may just be a more convenient excuse than the real reason. If this has never come up before it is unusual it would be the lynchpin now. Something like cross dressing is something that is easily discussed and if you feel that it is THE reason then you can make the offer to quit. As many here know it is unlikely you can do it and still be happy. But it is worth a try if you feel it is the main theme in the break up (look deeper there is something else you don't see).
I wish you good luck I know it hurts to lose your best friend in any manner.
The earth is the mother of all people and all people should have equal rights upon it.
Chief Joseph
Nez Perce
“Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” - Fred Rogers,
I'm so sorry sweetie.... :'(
Anita is right hun, don't do this alone. It's hard enough even when you have trusted friends with you giving you support. My inbox is open if you want to talk dear.... *hugs*
"To deny our impulses, is to deny the very thing that makes us human...." - Mouse from The Matrix
Love me or hate me, I will always be myself.
I'm just the kind of gal that likes death metal, beer, and "dad" jokes. Oh and I build computers and play PC games.
Pinky, stay strong do not let yourself down and do not sell yourself short. I dont know your faith but no God puts us through events that we can not handle. I am sorry for your pain as I have been in your place not so long ago, you will be fine no matter what happens. I am always available to pm if you need a friend. Kelli
Sorry to get this news hun. Get help if you wish no togo on anymore.
Angie
I'm sorry that this happened to you. It may or may not have anything to do with your CD'ing. I might have just been her.
One of the things that seems to happen is that some of us get beat up for not being honest. There is a possibility that your SO wasn't totally honest with you. Sometimes thing just don't work out. Like I said before, I'm really sorry that this happened to you.
Dana Ryan
Im sure you all are right that crossdressing isn't the only reason that this has happend. I know it isn't. The reasons are a moot point by now. She fell out of love with me, and I am weak and alone now. The past two months have been hard on me in so many ways. First she moved out and we stayed in a "dating" mode. Then I lost my house of 15 years. After that I severed the tendons in my finger causing me to miss a lot of work. I cant pay my bills now. Now she has decided to leave me all together. I just can't take any more. I really want to just give up! I am so alone. After coming out, most of my friends have distanced themselves from me. I feel like a total looser!
You are not a looser! Bad things happen to good people all the time. Dont shut your freinds out hun. Kelli
Oh well, thats life. Get over it, find another one, be honest upfront and tell them you are a cder. Then live life again. You can't stop cding, its a curse so accept it.
You cannot blame yourself for being who you are, we are not diseased nor do we chose to have this feelings and needs inside of us, we simply ARE, I am very sorry to hear about your loss but this is not the end it is a new begining and you need to accept it and begin to be true to yourself. Imagine those of us who take our relationships to the next level and then resent our significant others for not understanding or for trying to change us to the point that we make our lives a nightmare. Be strong NOW is the time to grow and become your true self. I wish you the best! Be strong, Hugs and best wishes, Bella
Originally Posted by Pinky188
I know it looks a little down right now, but i believe it is very important to remain calm and stay focused. A few years back i made a few bad calls and things didn't go right. My late dad even though he knew i made some mistakes he turned to me a said, your still young you have lots of time to fix things, and i know it looks like you hit rock bottom but the good news is you can't go any lower, it's all up from here. I used those words to help me and i hope they can come to some use to you. Be strong.
If indeed this relationship is over, you need to give yourself some time to grieve. Allow yourself to go through all the phases of grief - anger, denial, bargaining, depression and finally acceptance. Its awful, painful and necessary. And in the end, you'll understand that the sun will rise tomorrow (someone told me that when I didn't want to believe it) and your life will go on. I know you don't believe that now, but life will go on and you will be happy again.
Hang in there pinky. It seems like al hell has broken loose in your life right now but if just hang in there and persevere. You will come out stronger and things will change for the better. Keep you chin up and your heels on!
Last edited by shawnsheila; 01-23-2012 at 11:33 AM. Reason: gammar/spelling
Excellent response as alwaysLike Kim stated, Life does not end. This experience will make you stronger in time. You will find someone that will truly make you happy. Find someone who will love you for who you are NOT what they want you to be or just a meal ticket.
While a few were a bit harsh in their responses, I do agree with them. Your life didn't start with her and won't end with her.
Pinky, I felt just as u do when my ex left. I still loved her and it took time for that to die. But, it DID! I lost interest in women and sex for about 2 years. However, I kept on with the rest of my life, plodding on thru the gloom!
And, after a while, my attitude improved. My smile returned! Sex and women came back into my life! And, a notable one was Sherry!
Just keep on keepin' on, hun! This too WILL PASS! Eventually, u will enjoy all the things u used to again. Only with someone who appreciates U for who U R! She didn't! U really R better off without her!
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
Pinky, my heart goes out to you. I can only imagine how you must feel now. Please know that no matter what else happens, you will always have friends here on crossdressers.com.
I know it hurts now but is sounds like you got the better end of the situation.
Imagine never being able to be yourself for the life of the relationship.
You are much better off.
Pinky, head up, chest out, shoulders back. Bad. Things. Happen. If she chose to leave a caring person such as yourself, that's her loss.
As for you, get back to all the rest of your life that was working for you. If work was going well, focus on doing the best you can. Any hobbies you may not have had time to indulge in? You now have oppurtunity to do so.
It's not how many times you get knocked down, it's how many times you get back up. [/ring cliche bell]
Yet here you are....
That in itself says volumes about your ability to STOP!
We've all said the we could stop anytime and we do not. This is not an acquired taste, not an addiction, not a body in motion. This is part of us...
I don't wear women's clothes, I wear MY clothes !
Pinky,
I can personally tell you what happened to me. My ex wife's initial acceptance (don't see, don't ask) turned slowly into complete disapproval. This disapproval started an huge resentment on my part. That resentment was toxic to the marriage and I wanted out. Once I was out, I felt that there was no one that would understand or accept me but that was still better than non-acceptance. Fast forward a couple of years later I am engaged to the most beautiful, intelligent accepting woman. My cross dressing is under control because of the simple acceptance on her part that I was yearning for. I have never been happier!
As they say "time heals all wounds"... Hang in there!
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