crossdressing is too taboo!

[Pinky188]

So I have been watching these shows for the past several months on transgender people. Its great that they are getting the recognition that they deserve, but where does that leave us, who like being a guy/girl that just wants to present as the opposite sex once and a while? We have a long way to go in being accepted in the mainstream. To me this is a very big problem but I am awear that it is a hard thing for the general public to accept. I just wish people could be more open minded! Excuse my misspellings!

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Pinky, We have a long way to go yet.

[sonna]

i guess it depends were you live some pleces are more accepting.

[Barbara Ella]

I agree Pinky. And even in locales that are more accepting in general, the overwhelming majority of people do not look too favorably on us. We just must persevere and continue to put forth the most favorable foot for the public to see, even if it is well heeled, and continue to work for the overall transgendered population of which we are a part. We just need to make sure that the rising water lifts all boats.

If we think too deeply we might only focus on the darker side that we live with. So, I cannot go deep all the time as I must also have some fun in my life.

Babes

[Lorileah]

You are correct. The largest (other than fetish) section of the transgender community are just people who like to dress up once in awhile, and yet they are the least seen. But realize that what most do here is not noteworthy to the public. Just looking like woman is not "sexy" to everyday people. It is just everyday. The drags are over the top. Someone going through SRS brings out a feeling for the person. Of course perverts and crazies get top billing on the news.

One thing that will help us "everyday" people is being out and about. As long as we believe the story that what we do is "wrong" and that w are "bad" or "strange" and we stay hidden we will never break that mold. The closet is not our friend. We have to start educating people. And the shows you talk about may not really help (sorry all you RuPaul fans but she isn't advancing anything but hatred and comical relief. People watch for the outrageous "GAY" acting)

[Princess Chantal]

I haven't had any issues in being accepted for my crossdressing by the general public. It seems to be the transgender community that does not embrace the full diversity of the crossdressing population. Possibly due to the fears of stereotyping

[DanaR]

The more that the general public has positive experiences with us, the better. I know that the Seattle group, Emerald City does some outreach in schools; which is a huge step toward creating a positive image to the general public.

[Maggey]

As I remember history, women voting was considered taboo as well. Society is afraid of change and what they do not understand.

[Miranda-E]

So I have been watching these shows for the past several months on transgender people. Its great that they are getting the recognition that they deserve, but where does that leave us, who like being a guy/girl that just wants to present as the opposite sex once and a while? We have a long way to go in being accepted in the mainstream. To me this is a very big problem but I am awear that it is a hard thing for the general public to accept. I just wish people could be more open minded! Excuse my misspellings!

what are you doing to raise awareness and build acceptance?

[nvlady]

It's kind of funny reading the posts on this forum. This post is wondering if we will ever be accepted, but another post on the same day says that she went out and most people didn't notice and the ones that noticed didn't care. She also stated (or another responder did) that 95% don't notice and the other 5% don't care or don't say anything.

[Jacqueline Winona]

There was a show a few years ago on one of the cable channels about CD ("All dressed up but no place to go"). But I agree with you generally. Miranda- good question, and for me the answer would be not enough. I'm trying to be more brave when I want to buy things, not make excuses, hopefully the rest of the public will see us in a better light that way.

[sissystephanie]

It was interesting to read nvlady's post on this thread! For the past 6+ years I have been going out in public dressed enfemme almost every day. But I wear no wig or makeup. In other words, I am a man in ladies clothing. And I do mean totally feminine. The only comments I have heard are compliments on the outfit I am wearing, or being asked where I bought my skirt or blouse! If you are decently covered, and not real showy, most people just don't care!

The major problems with most crossdressers is their own fears! Ones that are only in their heads, not in other peoples heads! Once they learn to conquer their own fears, they will be a lot better off.

[Alice Torn]

Sissysteph, Very good post. I no longer am terrified to go shopping for lady items, dressed in guy stuff. I still struggle with fear of going out, though. You are so right, that most of the problem is in our heads, all that fear stuff, making us our worst enemies.

[Tanya C]

One of the things we can do to help gain acceptance is at the grassroots level by meeting the public face to face. I realize it isn't feasible for many cders but for those of us who go out we have a great opportunity to leave a favorable impression on the people with whom we interact. We can do this by generally conducting ourselves with propriety and presenting appropriately. Being friendly and outgoing doesn't hurt either.
I know this places a bit of a burden on us when we are out in public, but it also gives us a taste of what other minorities have had to do throughout the years to gain acceptance.

[NathalieX66]

Several years ago, I virtually never saw transgender people. I thought it was something that was either something only found on the internet or some kind of exotic escort service. But in public, where are they??

Then I decided to dig deeper and find support groups and activities for people who were similar in my situation. They helped get me out in public. I spent several months on my presentation (makeup & clothes) before I developed the confidence to go out in the most public places (shopping malls, restaurants, movie theatres, car rental desks at the airport). Unless I am going to some place fun, like a club, I dress to blend in. And Pinky, since you are from NoVa, I happened to pop into Panera, I think it was in West Springfield, I can't remember. Yes, I occasionally got a look here or two, but I was treated well by just about every one. And just before that, I asked people to take pictures of me in front of the White House. Want to know what happened? I had more people, mainly tourists, ask me to take pictures of them then I asked of my self. The reality, for the most part, is people really don't care. They are too preoccupied with their own lives to even notice you, unless you happened to be over six feet seven, and wearing 5" stiletto heels.

One of the biggest obstacles is not so much public acceptance, but developing self confidence. How you feel about yourself inside, and not care what others think will make you go along way. Until I get refused from a restaurant or a store, strongly believe such things as acceptance in public is possible. Unless people are aquainted with crossdressers and transgender folk, they will never understand them. And like my very first sentence, most people have never seen a transgender person.

This is me at Chili's (a chain restaurant) in Hanover, NJ.

[Jilmac]

I don't mind being looked down upon by those naysayers. Maybe they're looking down on me because I'm short.

[Lynn Marie]

[SIZE="4"]So I'm standing outside the LGBT club that me and my CD girlfriends go to cooling off and trying to avoid the cigarette smoke. One of the gay gentlemen and I were talking and he stated that "now we gays are being accepted and you cross dressers are now the perverts"! What a profound statement. I'd like to hope that it will be just a matter of time.[/SIZE]

[Vickie_CDTV]

It is funny, when I was young there was quite a bit on tv and such about crossdressing, it was a staple of daytime talk shows in the era of Phil Donahue back in the 80s. Heterosexual TVism even appeared in episode storylines in some tv shows back then; I distinctly remember on the Golden Girls Sophia's brother was a TV and one episode revolved completely around his dressing impacted his wife (a friend who worked in the industry claimed Tri-Ess was a consultant for many of those tv episodes that dealt with crossdressing, I'd love to know if that was actually true or not.)

I guess crossdressing was a curiosity back then, I suppose the idea of an average straight guy dressing up once in a while just isn't sensational enough nowadays.

[noeleena]

Hi,

This of cause depends on where you live what county & who you are where you worked schools clubs & other groups.

one point is attatude how you get on with other people & accepted .

Im a Kiwi, have been accepted tho im different & how i go about issues & how i relate to & with people having a high profile does change things, you are seen more so than most people you are looked at & some people do wonder as to what who & the difference that i show,

as you look at my pic youll see im more male looking in my facial features yet im a woman. & i have been acceped in the main & those who dont know me soon do if they wont to. im very public & have been in front of many 1000's of people ,

This of cause depends on have you the confidence & know who you are as a person first , then as the case may be a male or woman you have to be strong in mind & know how to answer or show people those of us who are different can be acceped & the only way this will happen is go out mix with people & gain thier acceptance, you just have to know how to do that & be very sure of your self ,

For my self pretty much every thing worked & not many problems , dont be put off by a few who are rednecks or seem like it . oh dear theres more to this than i can write about here. For my self it worked because i was ....ready ....& that was.... so so ... important because i know nothing would have worked if i had not been ,
For my self my changes have been the difference between could not talk in front of people or groups haveing dyslixca was a major stumbling block & not being able to learn allways last in all subjects at school so learning became a issue, 5 years ago things changed so then & now i can talk to people & have the confindence to do that,.T V ,papers not a problem. we can do it when we are ready,.

...noeleena...

[JessicaM1985]

I get so disgusted with myself sometimes due to my complete fear of going out. I've never been accused of cowardice in my 26 years of life, but when I'm dressed at home and someone even knocks at the door, I go and run and hide in my room. This fear, shame and guilt of being who I am is driving me insane. I've already gotten a ton of flak for being an openly bisexual "male", that being persecuted for being TG as well is just too much. But then when I sit at home expressing my real self, I feel isolated and cut off from the world. I find that the idea of going out with somebody while I'm dressed is less stress-inducing. But nobody I know is 100% comfortable doing this with me, and the one person I know that is now lives over 2,000 miles away.

I need a drink...

[Kerstin]

I get so disgusted with myself sometimes due to my complete fear of going out. I've never been accused of cowardice in my 26 years of life, but when I'm dressed at home and someone even knocks at the door, I go and run and hide in my room.

I'm sort of similiar to this. I'm expecting several deliveries this week and feel like I daren't dress up just because of what the delivery person might think. But then I suppose wider acceptance won't occur unless more CDers out themselves. With more exposure will come more acceptance.

[Vanessa Storrs]

I have become weary of the frequent threads bemoaning our lack of acceptance. I go out occasionally and have had absolutely no problem with being accepted. I am sure that there are some that do not care for how I dress just as I am sure that there are many more who are amused by my appearence. People who do not approve have kept their opinions to themselves and I have received many compliments for going out. Our biggest problem with acceptance is not with others accepting us but with us accepting ourselves.

[AllisonK]

It is no longer an issue of being accepted by the public for me. I have only worn jeans or a discreet women's top in public and that is all I have cared to wear out. Being out is somewhat new to me however due to me hiding the true me for so long. Since I have let my wife know I have felt as though a weight has been lifted giving me a lot more confidence. I work with a mix of men and women in a pretty discriminating town. None of them know for sure that I CD but I know a couple of the women suspect something since I have long nails and I always comment on how I like something they are wearing. We gab about girly things and they even call me princess. I kind of like that. The men I work with just think they are goofing off with me so they don't even realize why they say it. I figure that getting comfortable with the way I look on the outside will come when I'm comfortable with me on the inside. I feel that most women think this. Telling the truth to yourself is hard and I think that is why so many Taboo's exist in the first place. People don't want to admit their on faults so they project their issues onto others. Just my opinion though.

[kimdl93]

It really doesn't matter if you consider yourself transgendered or just a person who likes to dress occassionally as a girl. The presentation and the response is likely to be the same. People prejudices aren't that specific.

But I'd suggest that the "general public" doesn't exist as a monolith. As many of us can attest, we can and do go out in public without incident and often have very positive and encouraging encounters with the public. Sure, there's a significant minority of disapproving individuals, but even among them, most keep their opinions to themselves and go on with their lives. They're entitled to theor opinions so long as they don't infringe on the rights of others.

[jillleanne]

Pinky your statement is so true but it is missing some other words. It reads, " I just wish people could be more openminded ".

It should read, " I just wish people could be more openminded but I understand and accept as long as we fear society, our families, and ourselves, and remain in the closet, little will change. It is our job to educate society to accept us and how can we do that if we cannot accept ourselves?".

Being gender enhanced is no different than anything else in life. We'll just let someone else do the diry work.