crossdressing is too taboo!

[Delila]

So I have been watching these shows for the past several months on transgender people. Its great that they are getting the recognition that they deserve, but where does that leave us, who like being a guy/girl that just wants to present as the opposite sex once and a while? We have a long way to go in being accepted in the mainstream. To me this is a very big problem but I am awear that it is a hard thing for the general public to accept. I just wish people could be more open minded! Excuse my misspellings!

Unfortunately crossdressers do not fall within any of the LGBT standards. We are the outcasts of outcasts it will be a long time before we are truly accepted if ever. It's a shame that with the current attitude towards gays and even transgendered people that crossdressers are still the outcast. I have heard TGers condemn crossdressers along with everyone else. It's like they think where we are is just on step on the path to being TG I think people have a hard time understanding that maybe ther is a middle ground for those of us that don't want to make the transition but still want to feel like women. Hopefully this will change and all people will have the same rights no matter any gender, sexual or whatever orientation. I am doubtful though that this will happen in any of our lifetimes.

[Jenniferathome]

Do keep in mind the key words you used "part time.". All the shows you have seen are about people in transition, right? Full time. Big difference, I think. Perception is that those in transition are becoming who they should be. We crossdressers just have a hobby.

Water off a duck's back. Just enjoy it

[JessicaM1985]

Hmm. As whiney as my last post was, I decided to test the waters a tiny bit today to gauge reactions from strangers and went drab, but with purple nailpolish to class today. I know, not exactly trend-setting, but I gave it a shot. Not a single comment or look. It makes me wonder if a lot of the fear we have is slightly exaggerated. By which I mean that we think that every person is waiting to scream "THERE'S A GUY IN GIRL'S CLOTHES!", when in truth maybe once in a while somebody might say something, but most just keep their thoughts to,themselves.
Of course, as they say, "One test is not enough to make a result." So as such, I may add some makeup to the equation over time to see how it goes.

And for clarification:
Suzy, in no way would I ever say that you are a coward. If you are content,with,staying,at home to dress and keep that part of you life private I respect that and you for it. I reserve that name for myself alone because only I can judge myself, and I have allowed fear to get the better of me. It is atypical of my character and dislike that I am exhibiting that kind of behavior. In my case, I'm further down the trans scale than some, so not expressing some femiminity is proving to be nerve-wracking for me due to being uncomfortable in my own skin, but at the same time, fear of rejection and being attacked in public is causing that same stress. It's the taboo factor that the OP is talking about that makes me soend more time in guy mode than I,would like. My judgement on myself is due to me not being true to myself because I fear rejection that much, when there are plenty of brave women on here that do it every day and have few problems.

[Delila]

Hmm. As whiney as my last post was, I decided to test the waters a tiny bit today to gauge reactions from strangers and went drab, but with purple nailpolish to class today. I know, not exactly trend-setting, but I gave it a shot. Not a single comment or look. It makes me wonder if a lot of the fear we have is slightly exaggerated. By which I mean that we think that every person is waiting to scream "THERE'S A GUY IN GIRL'S CLOTHES!", when in truth maybe once in a while somebody might say something, but most just keep their thoughts to,themselves.
Of course, as they say, "One test is not enough to make a result." So as such, I may add some makeup to the equation over time to see how it goes.

And for clarification:
Suzy, in no way would I ever say that you are a coward. If you are content,with,staying,at home to dress and keep that part of you life private I respect that and you for it. I reserve that name for myself alone because only I can judge myself, and I have allowed fear to get the better of me. It is atypical of my character and dislike that I am exhibiting that k

I wore nail polish for most of my 20s I rarely had anyone comment. I would think more obvious items such as dresses or skirts would have drawn some sort of reaction. I wish it was otherwise but the reality is that most of us are made within minutes. Last year dressed as lady gaga for halloween I had many people ask just to check that I was really a guy. I think they knew it was more to rub it in that they saw through me.

[JessicaM1985]

I know. I don't own any girls clothing (gimme a couple of weeks and this will change) so I'm testing the waters with what I have and conquering my fears one baby step at a time.

[Marleena]

Okay now I'm confused! I thought any MTF Cd girl is under the TG umbrella. Some from the TS community want them out of the category? Is this not correct?

My point was that many CD girls are a help to the TG community by getting out there in public, setting a good example and educating the public.

There is nothing wrong with a CDer staying in the closet either it is a personal choice IMHO.

[Ally 2112]

i think when society gets out of it's compfort zone it is considered taboo .The thing is all of these so called normal people have skeletons in their closets i only have dresses and skirts and i hurt no one by what i do !.(i keep it private unlees im shopping lol ) ,But the point is everone has something to hide look at all the politicians J edger hoover crossdresser ? i have seen documentories on him and it is always mentioned .Also herman goering of the nazi regime was rumered to be a crossdresser !.Also to the tg girls out there i applaud you that has to be a scary road ! to travel i would be so afraid just saying

[Veronica27]

The problem I have with this line of reasoning is that I don't know that the person who encounters a CDr can differentiate a person who is "just" CDing from individuals who might be TG or TS. How would the observer know?

Your point is well taken. On a case by case basis, there would be no way for an individual to know if they have encountered a CD or a TG, unless something was said along those lines. I was referring more to generalities, in the sense that people can more readily accept the gender issues of transgenderism, than the desire to crossdress for other non-gender reasons. I apologize for being a little unclear in my post. If a TG disclosed his dressing to an outsider along with his explanations, they would accept him more readily than if a crossdresser disclosed his desire to dress in female clothing for sensual, adventurous or whatever other reasons he may have. Given the nature of our culture and upbringing, wearing non-gender specific clothing makes no sense, and suggests perverse desires to those who have no experience in this area.

In the case of a person encountering an obvious male in female clothing, I think the first thought that would come to their mind would be TG, and not CD. They would think of CDing as being more behind closed doors. While it does not matter whether strangers think of us as TG or CD, it can make a difference what our friends, relatives and neighbours think, which goes back to my first post about our need for respect and our desire to be liked. We do not know what is actually in their mind about us. CDing is a cultural "taboo", while TG is seen as a response to a condition.

Veronica

Marleena,
It's interesting to hear those who are closeted, but wish to get out somehow without fear of rejection, or alienation, and yet unlike the civil rights movement of the 1960's, few have experienced the discrimination, rejection, and even violence first hand.

There is a world of difference between the civil rights movement and what we as a community are experiencing. During the 1960's, blacks were not "closeted", but were outright discriminated against in many aspects of everyday life. They were highly visible, but only in the "correct" places. Their plight was not one of having to tell the world "what" they were, but one of proving that discrimination was a violation of human rights.

We, on the other hand, are only visible if we allow ourselves to be so. You are correct in that we do not experience the discrimination, rejection or violence of the civil rights movement of the 60's. However, we are dealing with a cultural concept that considers our predilections to be a taboo, and while we are relatively safe around strangers, we have no way of knowing how our friends, relatives, neighbours and employers really feel about this issue, despite what they might say. Our jobs, the closeness of our loved ones, our marriages and so on may all be at risk if we are not careful. The discrimination we face is much different from that of the 60's. It involves telling the world "what" we are, and then facing any resultant mental anguish.

Crossdressers in public have it easy. Many of us have no intention of letting our employer know. We can go out in public, and paint the town. We put it away after all is said and done. Then it's time to paint the house, and do our yard work, and sometimes squabble with our SO's about how much time we get out . TG's are 24/7/365.

Not all TG's are 24/7/365. CD's may have no intention of letting their employer know, but it is possible that he or she may find out. I agree that CD's, and TG's have it easy in public, but only among "outsiders", being those who are not friends, relatives, neighbours, co-workers, employers, members of our church or club, or anyone else who knows both us and any of the above.

Veronica

[STACY B]

ILL tell ya my personal view is CROSSDRESSING is not an issue as long as your pretty !!!! An thats a FACT ,,, The only time there is trouble is not when you have been read ,,,, Thats fine as long as your pretty ,, But if you are not or your big or tall or anything out of the norm wooooooooooooooo wwww thats where the trouble starts , If you look good an you act rite there is some kind of unwriten pass card that you get ,, But if you dont fit into that mold then it becomes MORE of an issue. Why is it that if you dress like a girl you are labled a punk or fag ,, an lots or most people take dressen as a sign of weakness an guys think that they can just automaticly run all over you an treat an say what ever they dam well please an your suposed to just lay there an take it . Dont they realize that its realy none of there bizzness what you wear an how you act.

[Veronica27]

Okay now I'm confused! I thought any MTF Cd girl is under the TG umbrella. Some from the TS community want them out of the category? Is this not correct?

My point was that many CD girls are a help to the TG community by getting out there in public, setting a good example and educating the public.

There is nothing wrong with a CDer staying in the closet either it is a personal choice IMHO.

There have been a lot of posts about TG, and the concept of it being an umbrella term. The community, as well as members of this forum, are of course divided on the issue. My take is that the umbrella concept does a disservice to crossdressers, as it tends to paint everyone the same colour, and loses sight of what differentiates us. Using the name applied to one particular branch of a total population as a general term, tends to make the qualities applicable to that branch appear to apply to everyone. Those who favour the umbrella concept, often do so for political reasons, in that it broadens the numbers, and makes the quest for rights legislation and overall acceptance more palatable. It goes along with associating the "T" with "LGB", which bear no similarities.

You are partly correct, in that many of the TS community want CD out of TG, but many also do not want to be described as TG themselves. A FtM TS who has completed SRS, usually wants to be considered a woman, and not a TG or even a TS.

Veronica

[Marleena]

You are partly correct, in that many of the TS community want CD out of TG, but many also do not want to be described as TG themselves. A FtM TS who has completed SRS, usually wants to be considered a woman, and not a TG or even a TS.

Veronica

Thanks Veronica, the TG umbrella is necessary for all MTF girls in my opinion. Like I said earlier many of the CD/TG girls are helping raise awareness in a positive manner for the TS ladies that need to be out there 24/7. Any GM that wears a dress in public will be taking a chance and should be afforded the same protections. I also understand the FTM situation.

[Veronica27]

But if you are not or your big or tall or anything out of the norm wooooooooooooooo wwww thats where the trouble starts , .

At 6' 4", I have to take my WOW's any way I can get them, even if it means trouble. Very perceptive post.

Veronica