What frustrates you most about dressing.

[KlaireLarnia]

Aside from the fact a lot of us have to hide what we do from people and people's general perception of those who cross dress, I am wondering what others find both the hardest thing and the most frustrating thing about dressing

For me I would say the hardest thing can be not knowing my own style in some types of clothes. Some things are easy to pick out - jeans, trousers and t-shirts. But at the moment I am looking for a Jacket/coat and finding it really hard to find something that is "me". Finding male jackets/coats is a breeze, but I dislike mac's and similar types of coats and do not want a heavy winter one. So really struggling. A coat is one of the few things I cannot get the courage to go into a shop and buy, and buying over the net is fine but returning items is a pain as I have problems getting to a post office to return items currently.

Frustrating thing for me is having to double up with some things and not being able to swap over easily. Bags is my current thing. I have a medium sized black shoulder bag which I love to bits. It holds everything I need it in without being too large or cumbersome. Yet I cannot use it most of the time as it is very obviously female and if I took it to work I would be ridiculed. So I take a larger male bag with my shoulder bag tucked inside. So I have the sense of having it, but it is not on show. I am currently looking at getting a unisex shoulder bag to try and find a compromise - but it would be one I do not want to make as I (like most of us here I guess) see no problem in what I want to do.

Just wondered what others thought.

K

[Courtney_Glenn]

My biggest frustration is that my wife and I have two very different tastes in style and she is ALWAYS criticizing my wordrobe. she's more conservative, and I'm punky with a touch of glam (think Kelly Osbourne, lol). oh well, opposites attract I guess, We're sort of like Darma and Greg....Except I'm the wild one, lol. I love her

[Delila]

This may fit into your description of the normal things but I would have to say the thing that frustrates me the most is my body shape. It's terribly difficult to find women's clothing that fits properly of course when I do find clothes that fit well the biggest frustration is taking them off.

[DanaR]

My frustration is my weight; which I'm trying to lose. Most of the clothes that I like, just don't seem to available in the larger sizes. I need to lose a few dress sizes.

My wife and I are different styles, but we help each other with clothes; which is cool. I think that my wife knows every piece of clothes and shoes that I have. I'll see something that I think is cute, and she'll tell me I already have something like that at home.

[ssoccerman]

I live at home and can never find anywhere to change

[danielletorresani]

My biggest frustration is just the time it takes to get dressed.

[Tara D. Rose]

Well my problem with being a crossdresser is the way my wife puts me down on Everything I do. She criticizes the way I walk, talk, the way I cook, the way I clean, the few splatter spots in the microwave, the lane I'm driving in, slow down ,speed up, put on your seat belt, put on your turn signal, look at the grease spots on the stove just as I serve her supper, your second button on your shirt needs to be buttoned,,,,is the barn locked? did you lock your car? did you lock the storm door? did you lock the door? did you lock the dead bolt?
We pull into Wal-Mart one night in the circle, she says, why didn't you turn in here? I say, I didn't see it,,,,she yells WHAT ARE YOU DOING?, I say honey I'm looking for a parking space, she says. well "well there's one on the next row?
5 minutes later, we're in Wal-Mart , I ask her, Why do you belittle me like you do?...she just keeps walking,, never an answer. When we leave I go right back to the place she asked earlier , why didn't I take that entrance?. It turned out there wasn't an entrance there at all.
Or she will visit my bathroom and complain that she sees tooth paste in the bottom of my sink,

My hardest part about crossdressing?,,,,is the fact that I cannot become Tara anymore ever in front of her, for I know she will say, wrong dress, wrong skirt, wrong hose, wrong wig, on and on, humiliate me, embarrass me, make me feel so small. She makes Judge Judy look like a choir girl, she's meaner than a volverine with gangrene, on her good days ,she's like a grizzly bear walking on hot rocks, then I not only want, but I NEED to become Tara so badly, ever so badly, she wanted Tara, now she hates Tara and me. I go to bed and cry myself to sleep most nights. She goes to bed around 1:am, I look for solice and peace on here, then I'm attacked, and given un-deserving infractions, I get bullied. It seems no hope for me. The hardest thing about being a crossdresser is just being a crossdresser.
Read my introduction thread.

Love and peace be with you all,.................................Tara

[Shari]

Mine is not having anyone to dress with or share with. My SO used to go along and even contributed to my wardrobe. There was an abrupt about face a little over a year ago and it has remained that way. We've reached the "don't ask, don't tell" part of this ride. Very frustrating because I had it all once and it was taken away.
Tara, maybe you and I should get together sometime and cry on each other's shoulder.

[~Joanne~]

Sizes. I have the worst time with them and probably always will due to each company having their own. I haven't even begun to find mine yet and it's driving me crazy.

[Karren H]

Well my problem with being a crossdresser is the way my wife puts me down on Everything I do.

No one should be treated like that! Time to kick her to the curb and move on, Tara!!

[AllisonK]

Hardest thing for me is finding a happy medium with what I want and who I am. On one hand I am a man that likes being a man, but on the other (the inside) I really just want to be one of the girls. Life is complicated and it is compounded by family, friends, obligations, and respect for the path I previously chose by trying to hide who I was. I don't want to hurt anyone by "disappointing" them. I just want to be me and enjoy life as such. To me I feel like I'm alone. I know I'm not but it still feels that way. I have tried to someone professional that is nearby and that I can afford to talk to but the area I live in just doesn't cater to my needs.

[Carrie R]

It's too much work, and I'm laZy with a capital Z!

[Michelle55]

Well my problem with being a crossdresser is the way my wife puts me down on Everything I do.

Been there, done that! Sounds like my first wife.

The two of you must go to marriage counseling soon or your life will probably get even worse. Ignoring this will likely only result in her moving on without you and you will not be prepared either financially or emotionally.

I'm assuming you still care for your wife, so try to work this out, but be prepared to move on if she can't develop a more reasonable attitude. Probably only a neutral third party (counseler) will have any chance to get her to acknowledge her harshness.

Michelle

[jillleanne]

The lack of hips and butt cheeks. I hate having to wear shapewear because of this.

[Renee W]

What frustrates me the most is seeing how nice an outfit looks on a model in the catalog, buying it, and then it just looks so-so on me. I accept the fact that I am currently a size 22-24 and until I get my tush in gear, I know that I will not look that great, but please, why can't they show some more stuff on women close to my size. Roamans has a lot of nice stuff and they sell sizes 12 to 32, but I swear, their models are smaller than 12 and they must pin back the outfits for photo shoots.

[sarahcsc]

I've read all the responses and could relate to every one of them. I guess the part I hate the most is the "cleaning up" process. Whereby I have to hide everything away again and that takes ages...

[jaglover]

What frustrates me most is people (i.e. my wife) assuming that if I want to look feminine I must therefore be pathetic and the personality and character she thought I had must be false and/or compromised. When I'm dressed I feel and believe all the same things I've always felt and believed, I have the same morals and values - and I don't consider myself to be at all pathetic. It's frustrating because if she won't let me be dressed when she's around and we're doing everyday things I can't prove this to her.

[StaceyJane]

I can't seem to find a cute outfit that fits!!!!!!!!

[Cheryl T]

The facial hair.
I really hate shaving anymore...it's time to look into laser.

[Crissy Kay]

That I cannot dress during weekdays. We live in an apt., so you never know if someone is dropping by. Also, I still feel a little stange, being dressed up in frount of my SO. I am not sure if that is ever going to change.

[NicoleScott]

........ my wife puts me down on Everything I do.

There are many people like this, and I think it's a matter of their insecurity - putting others down in order to, or rather than, elevate themselves. I told one of these people "Look, I can save you time and trouble. Let's just assume that everything I do is wrong, and you can let me know if I ever do anything right, OK?"

My greatest crossdresser frustrations are trying to make a male body appear female, and a less-than-smooth-and-soft face complexion.

[Laura912]

One answer for here is that it almost never last long enough. There is an answer in this thread that needs some help and it is one to which Karren has commented. Tara, your problems appear to go beyond the crossdressing. Based solely on your side of the story, one could conclude that you are in an abusive relationship. Go see a third party for some guidance.
Laura

[Contessa]

I have to agree with all of you on every point. It would seem that I wrote most of your posts. We need to figure out a way to meet on line in one of those Microsoft online meeting things.

The most frustrating things I find is dressing and no where to go. Sunday I got dressed and walked directly out the door. I need for myself(Contessa) to shop for Contessa. As I dont need any male clothes. I (male self) did all of Contessa's shopping myself in male mode. I have almost completely lost my male self. But is shopping the only place CD's can go if not to a club. I don't go to clubs. Are we afraid to meet each other, I mean where we are not to far away from others? What can we do? Citywide, Statewide, and Nationwide.

[Stephenie S]

Having to come up with a different outfit every single morning. Or at least try to remember where I wore which outfit.

S

[kimdl93]

the frustration for me are those occassions when I can't dress. But I deal with it.